Dr. Cara gave a team member difficult feedback and then worried she'd damaged the relationship. The person thanked her instead, saying most people avoid being direct with them. She realized her real fear wasn't the conversation itself, but being seen as unsupportive.
Let me tell you what I did after a hard conversation with someone on my team. I had said what needed to be said. They needed to hear it. I knew it was true and I delivered it with care. But for 3 days afterward, I was warmer than usual, more available than they actually needed, and making sure that they knew the relationship was still intact. Then they stopped by my office and said something I wasn't expecting. "Thank you for being direct with me. Most people just work around me instead of with me." I sat with that for a long time because I had been so focused on protecting my image as a supportive leader that I almost missed the evidence of what I had actually given them. The conversation was not the risk. My belief about what would happen if they didn't receive it perfectly, that was a risk.
