Dr. Cara explains how our brains run a constant focus group during meetings, monitoring colleagues' reactions and fueling a need for approval. This performance of competence masquerades as leadership but is really an attempt to control perceptions. Anchoring self-worth internally, rather than chasing external validation, lets you lead for real.
You're in a meeting. Half of your brain is on the actual problem. The other half is on running a real-time focus group. Did that land okay? Is Sarah annoyed? Why is Mark frowning? Is that about me or is it just his face? You're performing a one-person show called Please Still Think I'm Competent. Also very nice, but no one's buying the tickets. This has nothing to do with leadership. It has everything to do with approval. When you're anchored in your own worth, you stop managing how you're being perceived. Managing perception feels productive, but it's actually control. Most of it isn't even yours.
