A short Leadership Wednesday talk by Dr. Cara/Kara arguing that authenticity—not polished performance—is the most powerful leadership practice. She contrasts performing (masking) with leading from inherent worth, cites research (Harvard Business Review) showing most-effective leaders were authentic, shares a personal anecdote and client story, and issues a call-to-action to lead from worth and prioritize connection as the currency of influence.
Chapters
Today on Leadership Wednesday, we are flipping a myth on its head that is being authentic somehow makes you less professional. Let's talk about why your authentic leadership is actually your most powerful leadership tool. Picture this. Two leaders walking into a boardroom. One carries a perfectly crafted mask of professionalism. The other brings their true, full, authentic self. Who makes the bigger impact? Research may surprise you. The moment you recognize your worth is the moment your authentic leadership begins. Everything else is just performance, authenticity. It doesn't weaken your professionalism, it deepens it. Welcome to another worthy Wednesday. I'm Dr. Kara. And today we are challenging the leadership lie that is keeping you exhausted and your team disengaged. Quick question for you. Have you ever left a meeting thinking that really wasn't me in there? If so, then this conversation, it just may transform your leadership forever. And let me tell you about someone I worked with, a health care executive thinking we can call him Michael. Well, I worked with him last year and during our first session, he confessed something that I thought was pretty profound. I'm trying to get his voice. I have been leading for 15 years. Years. And I don't think anyone knows who I actually am. Does that sound familiar? Because for decades we have been fed the narrative about professional behavior that's creating exhausting double lives for leaders. There's who you really are and there's. Well, then there is who you think you need to be to succeed. And you have been told to be professional, which means suppress your natural enthusiasm, hide your genuine reactions, and never, ever show uncertainty. But here is the fascinating truth. It's revealed, actually, through Break Chesse is revealed through groundbreaking research and a study from the Harvard Business Review. And basically it says that leaders who were rated the most effective by their teams, they were not the most polished. Shocking, Right. They were the most authentic. So here it is. Studies show authenticity. It does not weaken your professionalism, it actually deepens it. Think about it this way. When you are performing, you're using valuable mental bandwidth. So valuable. And what you're doing is you're exhausting that on your appearance rather than the people and the problems that are in front of you. So it's like trying to drive or constantly checking your reflection in that rear view mirror. So that can be not only exhausting, but. But it's also very dangerous. Because when you lead from worth, you stop performing to be respected. You start standing in your values to be trusted, right? When people see you and they feel that you're real, they're going to be more inclined to trust you versus being fake. There's something about that person. I don't trust them because they're fake. And so it's really important that you recognize, hey, I got to be real. I got to be who I am. Because people are going to respect that. And when people respect you, they trust you. So let me ask you something that I asked Michael, and I think it really changed everything for him. Where in your leadership do you feel the need to shrink or to shape shift to look the part? Lot of times we want to look the part, but the reality is, if you can't stand in the part, your true authentic self, you are never going to look the part. So what I would like you to do is just take a moment. Right now. Yes, right now. And I want you to write this down. Because this awareness is your first step towards liberation. So write down where in your leadership you feel that you gotta shift or change who you are. Shrink to look the part. Transformation from performance to authenticity. It's not just philosophical, it is neurological. Because when we drop that mask, our brain literally functions differently. And here is the truth that shattered my own leadership facade. Your worth, it isn't earned. It is inherent. I'm going to say that again because for me, it was quite revolutionary. Your worth isn't something that you have to achieve, therefore you don't have to perform. It is something that you already possessed. You already possess it. I still remember that exact moment where this hit me. I was like preparing for this high stakes presentation and it was like all these stakeholders, international stakeholders, hours went into my obsessive presentation. I had talking points, the right thing to say at the right time. I even started not just rehearsing my content, but my very own personality. I had to get it just right because I really wanted this performance. See what I'm saying? It was really not a performance, but it was a presentation. But it was becoming a performance. And I wanted it to be perfect. So how would I stand? How would I speak? And I even started thinking about how I would laugh. I do not laugh like that. So, yes, suddenly as I was doing all of this rehearsing, doing all of these practicing, I just stopped cold and asked myself, wait a minute, who am I trying to be right now? And why don't I think I'm enough, man? This question hit me in the forehead and it cracked everything open. Because I realized I was not operating from the belief that my natural leadership present was enough. I was operating from the thought in the belief that I needed to be somebody else to succeed. That shift, and it was immediate. And it was actually visceral. Like, I felt it in my body. It just didn't feel good. So I put my notes down and I made a decision that I was going to bring my full self to this presentation. I was going to bring my passion, my perspective, even my doubts into that room. Well, gonna tell you the result. It was not just the best presentation of my career, but it really was the first one where I felt fully alive. I was my true self. And the feedback, it was unanimous. What I heard consistently was, we've never seen this side of you before. It's so powerful. And from that day forward, one of the things that I'm constantly told is, don't lose Kara. This is why I like to be called Dr. Kara, not Dr. Alexander. I'm appreciative for my credentials. I have worked hard for my salutations, and I'm still Kara. So I feel like Dr. Kara is more me because it's more relatable. And that is my true, authentic self. So there you have it. That's why I go by Dr. Kara. And you know what is more eye opening or mind blowing? Shall I say, when you stop performing, you start connecting. And I'm going to share something that I think if you don't take anything from today, what I want you to do is take this. Connection is the currency of real influence. I'm going to say that again because I want to make sure you got it. Connection is the currency of real influence. So this week, I want you to lead from your worth. Not your fear, not your mask, not your facade, not your title. Just you. If this has resonated with you, please drop a comment below. And I would also be curious to know what part of your authentic self are you ready to lead from more boldly? And do me a favor, please share this with the leader that you know is ready to take off that mask and show up their true, authentic self. Because authenticity, it isn't risky. It is powerful. And that is your Wednesday drop. I will see you next time.
