Menopause Symptoms No One Warned Us About: Brain Fog, Itchy Ears, Sleep Struggles & More

Hello everyone, and welcome to Menopause Support Live with Eliza. And no Jennifer today; she's away on vacation this week. I'm Eliza Riley, a holistic health coach who supports women through the ups, downs, and unexpected turns of perimenopause and postmenopause. And I'm just gonna do a very quickly apologize because well, I said I was gonna be here at six p.m. It is right now six nineteen. I I have no idea what happened. Literally, I was just getting ready. I was taking my time. I thought I had another hour, and then I'm like, how did— where— I don't know what happened. So I have no makeup on. My hair is not fixed. I'm in my t-shirt, but I am here now, late and completely unprepared, and I apologize for that. My only excuse, and I, I don't like to make excuses for myself, but some of you guys may know already, my mom passed away recently. I will not use this, this excuse for long, but I will use it one more time because I really think that that's what happen today. I, I've been trying to get all of the things ready. Saturday is her memorial service, and I have to go back to my family to go and say goodbye to her. And I haven't spoken to most of them in years, so there's a lot of, um, discomfort that is coming up with me for that. And, um, you know, just trying to make sure that I have everything because They tend to be very nitpicky. And so I'm trying to just make sure that I— there's nothing for them to nitpick. They will find something, I assure you they will. But I'm trying really hard to make sure that I have everything done. I haven't forgotten anything. So I am sorry. I am here. I'm sorry that I'm late. And I wanted to— and again, like I said, I really didn't prepare myself very much, but I did want to share with you guys. I asked the question this week. And I apologize, I don't even have that pulled up, but I asked the question in the menopause support group. I asked— I also asked it in the holistic menopause health group, which is my own group. What's one symptom you experienced that completely caught you off guard? No one warned you about. And I was really, truly amazed by the number of people who reached out to share their symptoms. If you guys I'm not gonna be able to go over all of them. But if you have a chance to go back and look at some— look at just some— look at some of these responses, because truly, it's amazing how universal a lot of these things are like we don't. And we just— we're not talking about this stuff enough. We're not saying that here, here's something that I'm struggling with, and I get it, because I mean, we, we, we don't want to I'm the same way. We don't want to excuse ourselves. We don't want to, um, to feel— to seem needy or, um— oh gosh, I can't even think of the word I want to use. Um, um, the— like, we don't want to— we don't want to talk about where we struggle, um, because I think— I think that it makes us feel Um, vulnerable, and I think that that's something we really need to let go of because vulnerability is not a negative. So in the holistic menopause group on Facebook, that's that's my own group. You're certainly welcome to join it if you're not there. But there was just two responses there. I'm going to go over those really quickly, and then I'll pull up the other one. And before I do that, though, let me just. Say, because I have to say this. Oh, while I apologize, this is written for both of us. But while Jennifer and I both have experience supporting women through perimenopause and beyond, we are not your personal practitioners. Please remember that what we share tonight, and whether we're talking in the group or we're here live or however we're communicating with you through social media, please remember that these are that the information that we share is for educational purposes only, and they're not meant to replace medical. Advice. Always consult with your own healthcare provider before making changes to to your routine. If you have any questions about that, please feel free to ask. Like that's what I'm here for. But so going back to those to those comments. So Lisa shared the high heat body temperature. I've heard it as a hot flash, but it's more of a but it's more of a moment. Because it's not quick. So I think what Lisa is sharing with us is, you know, we— most of us have heard of the hot flashes, you know, that, that momentary, like suddenly the— like it feels like this heat just sort of rises through your body and then goes out the top of your head. And, and for some of us, it's extreme and can last just, you know, last just a few minutes. So it can be fairly quick. But what she's talking about is just having an elevated body temperature. And, and having, and dealing with that all of the time. And for sure, like, I think that that is something that happens. Again, it comes back to those fluctuating hormones, but also a higher body temperature could be inflammation in the body. So that's something to certainly consider. And there's ways that you can check for inflammation in the body. You can also, you can even do blood tests to see if your, like, your white blood cell count can be elevated. Um, or low, either one of those can be a sign of, of, um, of, um, inflammation. Like I had high body temperature, but no inflammation. That's what I'm getting back to. So, um, another one Allison shared, perimenopause brain fog. She wrote it in all caps. Disabling while at the same time a topic that significantly is under-researched, not supported in conventional medical medicinal practices. And nor has education as to how one is to deal with its challenges. I'm thankful she shares a— if you would like to see it, go back, go in and find the link. But she does share a book recommendation that helped her with that, with dealing with that. And absolutely, I think that last week— so you guys, if you're looking for previous recordings, please go to the YouTube channel. You'll find all of them there. But last week, Jennifer, I think it was Jennifer and I might have been the week before, but me by myself. But we did talk about brain fog and things that you could do for brain fog. So yeah, hopefully if you guys get a chance and you're looking for more, more on brain fog, you can find it there. Let me just hop over now to the other group. And we'll go over some of those. Oh, that's the wrong one. That's the same group. Here we go. And I really do want to thank you guys so much for commenting. Like, oh my goodness, this question really resonated with so many of you. We have 390 now. I will tell you, I commented on about 15 of those. So, so about 300 and what, 75 or so comments on this post about things that you guys are struggling with. And I think that It's, it's such a good idea to just go through and read some of these, because again, you'll see that you're not the only one, that you, that you're not the only one struggling with these things. And I think it can also be really good, because, like, I'll tell you one of the things that I'm looking here at Chris, who just recently commented. Of course, I'm just looking at them as they come up, but I haven't filtered them in any way. Chris shared itchy inner ears, itchy hands, intense rage, extreme fatigue, ringing in her ears, belly fat. Wanting to be alone and zero Fs to give. Yes, Chris, I'm with you on that one. But for me, the inner itchy ear, that was one of the most— that was probably like the worst symptom that I did not realize for years was hormonal. Like, I had no idea. I— when it— and when it first started, I thought I used to wear earbuds all the time. I, I thought, well, I, I knew I already, I already knew that I had like a latex allergy. If you have a latex allergy, there's even if you buy silicone earbuds, there's still some latex in them. So I thought, well, maybe that's it. And so I take them off, I take them out and I stop using them. And, and I went like a month without my ears bothering me. And then it, even though I didn't use them, came right back. So then I thought, well, maybe it was the shampoo I was using or the conditioner or, you know, like I started like just eliminating all of the things. Like, I like to take baths, so, and I like to put my head under the water. So I was like, maybe it's the stuff I'm— the, the, the— even the Epsom salts that I'm putting in the water. Maybe I'm, you know, getting an allergy. Like, I eliminated so many things and tested so many things, and every time it would be like, oh good, they're better. I'm, I'm— there would be— I would think I got it, and then a month later it would come right back again. So I was like, What is going on? What is happening? But it is, it is a hormonal issue. Don't get me wrong, it can still be, be exacerbated or heightened by the earbuds and the, you know, if you're using a, if you're using a shampoo or a conditioner that has certain ingredients in it that you, that you've developed an allergy for, because that's another thing that happens at midlife. We develop allergies to things that we, that never bothered us before. So certainly some something to, to look into. Um, lots of different ways there. I will tell you that for me, I did finally— like, I'm not kidding when I tell you guys, I've been dealing with that for like 5 years, and I finally went to see a holistic doctor like 2 months ago, and he couldn't find anything wrong with my ears. Uh, but he did say that I, I didn't have— he's like, those are the cleanest ears I've ever seen. Because I have this— another thing that, that came up for me with menopause, I had this sort of OCD thing where I was constantly cleaning my ears with Q-tips. I mean, I don't go deep in there, but I was like constantly cleaning them. I couldn't stand to have any wax, and wax is a good thing, people. Like, we need the wax. So I have, since seeing him, I have 2 things I've done. One is every time I bathe or shower or like get in the pool or anything like anything where I'm getting water in my ears, I have a mix of ACV and alcohol. It's 1 to 1, and I put a couple of drops in there and let that, let that dry out any water and kill any bacteria. And it doesn't harm the wax, the helpful parts that are the helpful things that are in my ear, and I don't clean them as much. And I have noticed that that is making a difference. It is helping. So let's see. Christine shares lack of motivation to do anything, tired all the time. Oh my gosh! Yes, I'd say raise your hand if that's you too, but I can't see you. So yeah, lack of motivation to do anything. Yeah, I— that has been a big one for me as well. And I used to proudly proclaim that I was a night owl, you know, that I'd sleep from 2 to 10. And hey, I'm getting my 8 hours, right? I will say that I have noticed that getting in bed earlier and sleep and sleeping 8 hours, getting to bed earlier, getting up earlier, I don't have as much fatigue. Like, that's one thing that helped with that. Of course, you know, balancing your hormones is going to help and make a big difference as well. But I do notice that whenever I tend to go, because I have a tendency to want to stay up later and then sleep, you know, sleep 8 hours. When I do that, I tend to have a harder time getting going and getting things done. And, and of course, right now I feel like I'm sleeping terribly and, and I have no energy. But I think that that's, you know, grief. Like, there's a grief piece for me right now. And, and, you know, the crazy thing is grief happens in a lot of different ways. Like, you don't have to lose a parent for you to be grieving. Like, even Just missing your periods. Like I know people are like, oh yeah, no more period. But that I hate to even say it this way, but it's it's it's the the the nervousness and the anxiety that comes up for me, and maybe for you too. Like the the lost youth, the loss, you know, like like realizing that. we're just that much closer to our final days. That can be really stressful. It can be really scary. So even just grieving the loss of our 30s and our 40s and our 20s, they're gone. They're so far gone. And I think we get to a point where we maybe not— and if this isn't you, please don't take it on because if it's not you, don't make it yours. But we, but we can get to a space where there is grief just with aging. And we really have to find a way to be really proud of, of where we are and where we've come and very excited for what, what tomorrow holds. And, and, and not, and stop, not waste any more time doing things that don't, that don't serve us. So we have another one for brain fog. Debbie shares the, that the thing that bothers her— how'd the question go? One symptom that, that completely caught her off guard: the way the medical fraternity treats us as hypochondriacs and mentally ill. Oh my gosh, Debbie. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. It drives me nuts, completely up a wall to, to Because I talk with women every day who have been treated exactly like that. You know, we go to— actually, just, I, I know I've shared with you guys some, some stats that said that, like, I think it was 30% of all doctors, which I still feel like that's a high number. 30% of all doctors get any menopause training, any. So, like, whether it's, you know, like, literally, it can be like just an hour lesson, like that's it. And they still count it. They still got counted into that 30%. But I— the, the, the study I read just recently said that of gynecologists, only about 7% got any training, and that was a 4-hour course on menopause. And it was basically, here's the end, here's the, um, uh, What's the word? The word, the anti, the mood medication. Like, here's like, give them, give them Xanax or give them, you know, Paxil or whatever. Like, just like, it's, it's just so weird. I feel like women at our age are just not seen. We're not, we're not listened to. Hypochondriac is such a Valid moniker that we're labeled with, even though it is not, not anywhere near the truth. And the whole mentally ill piece, I mean, absolutely. Yeah, it's heartbreaking. Andrea shares that she says all of it. Okay, so she says, I have every symptom in the book, even with being on HRT cream. This is not like puberty. Nobody warned me or prepared me for this. Everything hurts all of the time, and the mood swings are difficult to manage. I want to lock myself in a room and just eat ice cream until I'm dead. Yes, what kind of ice cream would you eat? I am obsessed with this non-dairy cookie dough. Anyway, sorry, sidetracked. Yes, I completely agree, Andrea. There is It isn't like puberty. I've actually have heard— I've heard the connection, you know, like I've heard clinicians compare menopause to puberty. Like, you know, we go, we develop the hormones and then we kind of lose them. So it's kind of like pre-puberty. But yeah, it's not the same. And everything hurts all the time. Absolutely. And mood swings. And keep in mind, like even things like hurting all the time, like having body pains, joint pains, muscle aches, like all those things. Again, it's all tied back to our hormones. Vicki shares— hang on, let me just see what was here. Oh yeah, Lee shared vaginal atrophy, bladder, and constipation. Yeah, and the crazy thing is like all of that, like the constipation, the bladder leakage, the vaginal atrophy, it's all connected. So if you can find the thing that's going to work for one of those, it should work with, with all of them. And honestly, you, you— the best place to start probably is with the constipation, because if you can get your bowels moving properly, then you're going to find that the bladder and, and the, the, the muscles in the vagina and stuff all tend— all work better. So, um, something to consider there. The heart— Vicki says heart skips. And yeah, I absolutely— we We talk a lot about cardiovascular health at menopause, and and it's it is so important. And and the crazy thing is, like racing heart, the the heart flutters, the heart skips, like all of those things are all again it's all linked back to our hormones. It absolutely they happen, and they can be so scary because we we we. You know, we hear about you know we talk we hear about cardiovascular and heart attacks and heart events so much, and that it gets really scary. But they are hormonal, and they are in most cases again remember to see your doctor if if you're struggling with something like that. But it can be it can be truly innocuous. And April commented with Vicki, and this is another thing that's so beautiful about about posts like these. You know share you share that what's coming up with you, and then you have other people other women who are in there right there with you, and they're They're, they're dealing with it and they have suggestions and they have thoughts and they're saying, this is what worked for me. Vicki, I'm sorry, April said to Vicki, I even went to a cardiologist and spent thousands of dollars on tests. Not once was it suggested that it might be my hormones. Yeah, that's truly unfortunate and happens so much. Like, I think that it's one of the biggest travesties of, of menopause is that We do go to our clinicians, and we have you know whether it's blood work or or saliva or urine or whatever. I do think that when it comes to hormones, saliva or urine are better are going to give you a better picture. And actually, I have something. Oh, I don't know if I should share with you guys yet. I have a new product that I'm very excited about. I will be telling you guys about this one. It's a testing. It's an at-home testing product that's going to help you guys figure out what's going on with your hormones. I'm so excited. Okay, I'll tell you guys about it later. Cheryl, Cheryl shared hip pain, her joints hurt, weight gain. Again, urinary incontinence, you can't hold it in. Oh gosh, definitely, definitely agreed and definitely part of, part of this, this time of life. So, so I, a lot of these, again, a lot of these are sort of repetitive. I do want to share something different. We do have a lot of people who talk about— I'm going to tell you guys— anxiety, crazy dreams. What were some of the other ones? Insomnia. So for me, those 3 were connected. I had severe anxiety. I actually started having anxiety in my 20s. My cancer diagnosis, my dad died right after. I was diagnosed with cancer, and he was only 47. He had an aneurysm, and he was gone. And so truly, for me, I felt like the universe was telling me to just die. And I mean, I had, I had a long history. I was, I was raised in a terrible child— terrible situation as a child. And so I had a lot of CPTSD, and it came out in my 20s after these 2 major life events. With I developed agoraphobia, which is a fear of leaving my house. Like, I could— I really couldn't leave my house without my safe person. And anyway, it was very difficult. And but the thing that scared me the most, that scared me so very much, was, you know, when I was in my 30s and I was already struggling with agoraphobia. And when people were like, oh, the anxiety gets so bad with menopause, I was just like, Oh my God, like, can you imagine? Like, what, where do you go from there when you have anxiety so bad you can't leave your house? Like, how, how much worse can it get? Like, I was so scared that it was gonna get worse, but I'm actually feeling less anxiety now in my 50s than I did in my 30s. And, and I, I said in the, in the chat why, like, what the thing is that's, that's helping me for with that. And that's a program called D DNRS. It's Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It's a program that helps you, especially if you have PTSD, it helps you to, um, retrain the brain. That's what it is. Um, and the crazy thing is that they talk about— if you guys get a chance to look at— look it up. It's not very expensive. They— I, I think it's amazing how they make it truly affordable for most people. And, um, they, they teach you that a lot of illnesses Are actually brain trauma. Even things like allergies and sensitivities, like they can all be connected back to brain trauma. Like our brains actually get this idea stuck in the brain, and and then the body goes along with it, believes it. So it's really cool to to this program is really cool because it actually helps you to. Retrain those, those thoughts so that instead of, instead of, like, for me, like, instead of I can't leave my house, I turned that into I can leave my house with no problem. Like, I can leave my house. It's fine. It's great. And I actually really can. In fact, one of the things we did today in preparation for Saturday is I'm hating all my clothes. So, George took me to go and get a new dress, and I got some new shoes to go with it. Just trying to, trying to be as comfortable and as, you know, feel as, feel as put together as I possibly can before, before the landmines of Saturday. So, but that, but my point was that that helped with the anxiety, it helped with the crazy dreams, and it also helped me to sleep at night because I had terrible anxiety at night. helped with all those things. I have no issues with it anymore. Every now and then I'll have a bad dream, but they're not those dreams that were like horrific. And, and like, I don't even want to go— I don't even want to tell you guys how bad my dreams are because— but if you can just imagine, like, if you're watching a horror film, that's what my dreams were like. They were so bad and so scary and like to the point where I didn't want to sleep at night, especially not in the dark. Like, I could sleep during the day. I could nap during the day because I felt safer with the lights on. But But yeah, my dream— my dreams are really bad. And that all went along with my anxiety. And it's all gone away with DNRS. So it's amazing to me how many people are sharing itchy ears. Yep, been there. OK. And I'm going to say this name wrong. Says constant UTIs. Absolutely. That's another one that I hear so often. And Maria and Beverly both shared that they were struggling with the same thing, and Beverly even gives a suggestion on how to, how to make it better. So check that out if, if that's one of your issues. Weight gain. I know, like, that's something that is so common and so talked about, and there's so many different ways. Like, like, if there was We have 300 comments. If we had 300 people saying weight gain, we would have 300 different ways for you guys to lose weight. Like, it's so difficult to say, here's how you should lose weight. Like, it's really— it really depends upon your body and where you're struggling. And even like where the weight is going can tell you how to lose it. So it's— there's no one-size-fits-all answer for any of these, honestly. But that's a really big one. Weight gain is so hard too. pinpoint. So, and Selena shares, my mental health and having strange thoughts. Again, telling you guys that DNRS worked amazing for that. It, it helped so much. Like I, like I said, I struggled with OCD, like cleaning my ears constantly. And that helped with that. It also helped with Those intrusive thoughts. Like, I don't— I didn't have them very badly, but I did have them occasionally where, like, like, you're, like, driving down the road and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm going to pull in front of this, in front of this 18-wheeler. Like, you would have this thought and go like, whoa, what the heck? I don't want to kill myself. But you'd have these weird thoughts like, oh my gosh, I could jump off this building right now or whatever. Yeah, those, those types of thoughts, like, they've really helped with. With changing your your brain, so I I really hope that you guys find some some some avenue for healing that works for you. Know that most of these things are hormonal, and while each of us have a different journey to and and have different a different way of— a different path to healing our individual bodies. Know that it's so important to start with your gut. Like, healing your gut is so important. If you— if you— if your gut isn't healed, then nothing that you put into your body is going to get where it's supposed to go and do what it's supposed to be doing. Um, also our liver. Our liver is key to, um, to whether or not our hormones are working properly. So make sure that you're, you're, um, Your liver is working function, working properly. And and please know too, when it comes to your liver, I know there's so many, so many like these ma these like major detox options. Like you know, you can do a ten day fast or whatever. I don't know. You don't have to be so aggressive with your liver. In fact, it probably would prefer it if you just were kind with it and and made little changes every day. Like even just something as simple as drinking. A dandelion tea or some milk thistle every day. Like you don't have to go extreme to get to get a good result. In fact, you you tend to have extreme reactions to extreme methods. So it's it's easier on your body to just make small choices every day, little choices that are going to get you closer to where you want to go. And and the adrenal is also huge. Because our adrenals take over so much of our hormone production at midlife. Your gut, your adrenals, your, your liver— those are those for most of us. That's where our root healing is really going to happen. You start by fixing those and getting them working really well, and then you'll notice that you start to have less insomnia, less anger, less anxiety, less pain, less All of these things that, that you guys are sharing on here. And then if you have, if you have other issues that are, that are, if you've done all that and you still have issues, then of course that's when you may want to seek out a coach or some sort of, some sort of a medical professional to help you with the different things that are happening for you. So I hope that that was helpful. And again, I, I, I— last time I'm gonna say it, I, I do apologize for being so late today. I will have this recording put in the YouTube, on the YouTube channel. And if you guys are looking for anything specific, please go back and look at those YouTube videos because you'll see in there— just read the descriptions and you'll see in there, or do a search for it. You'll see in there that I do talk about specific challenges and struggles. And hopefully I have given you some advice there that are some tips there that will help to help to make those, those, those symptoms better for you or easier for you. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me tonight. If you're watching the replay, please feel free to drop your thoughts or your questions in the comments. I always love hearing what's resonated most with you. And if you want more support between now and next week, next week Jennifer will be here. Uh, both Jennifer and I share helpful resources throughout the week. You can, like I said, um, check out the YouTube video— um, check out, check out the YouTube channel. You can also follow us on social. Um, I've mentioned my, uh, if you're not in the Menopause Support Group, that's a great one. If you're not in the Holistic Menopause Health Group, that's my own group, and that's another great group. Um, little smaller but great group as well. Um, a lot smaller, sorry. I wanted to be honest about it. It's very, very small compared to the, to the much larger menopause support group. You can also join our email list so that you can see immediately what we're, what we're doing, what we're working on, and also explore our websites, which I will drop for you guys in the description. Whatever feels most helpful for you where you are right now. We, Jennifer and I both would love to stay connected and support you guys however we can. Know that we're here for you. Until next week, which I will be here on time, I promise. And either way, no, Jennifer will be here. Take care of yourself, and we'll see you guys next time on the Menopause Support Live. Thanks so much, guys. Bye.