A Sex-Hacker’s Guide to Backdoor Lovin' - With Kenneth Play and Shameless Sex Podcast #286

Well, hello everyone, and welcome to the interview process of Shameless Sex. And we have a repeat guest here whom we love and adore. And there are many reasons why we will have Kenneth Playback on our show probably every three to four months because he's just fantastic and knows a lot about sex. He's great at delivering messages with his. The analogies that he uses. And it's amazing. We're like, oh, my God, I get what you're talking about. And he could talk about anything related to sex, with relationships, et cetera. So the last time was sex hacks. Is that what we did? Because for your book. Remind us the name of your book again.

Beyond Satisfy A Sex Hacker Guide to Mind Blowing Orgasm and Lasting Confidence. So I love sharing all the tips and tricks on all the way that focus on female pleasure.

I was just reading some quotes and a Cosmo article by you and I. I was so excited because I love your work and I love listening to you speak about sex. And it was regarding some hacks that are in the book, which your book is fantastic. And people should check that out if, you know, we don't usually should you? But I just did.

Yeah. And well, the book also has some anal in it. And when we were talking about some sex hacks, we were like, well, here we go, let's go. That's a whole, whole episode we need to do. So that's. Yeah, he's like turning to the page. So this is on YouTube, everyone. He just put up a image of an anal. Little diagram page there of anoose. And so this is Anal August. And I'm not sure this episode might be dropped, like the day before anal August starts or like right in the beginning of anal August. But guess what? August is Anal August. It's our favorite month of the year. It's time to celebrate the universal orifice known as the ass. Right. Okay, so singing a lot today.

And I like it.

I'm jolly today. I had three or actually two orgasms on my way to your house.

Wait, this morning?

This morning? Yeah.

What, on the way to my house?

Like about half an hour ago.

Okay, we'll talk about that later. I want details, but this is about anal.

It's really good for podcasting, apparently. So anal. Okay, so we already did the intro. People heard about you in the bio and they probably heard about you in past podcasts, but we always start the same prompt. Can you tell our listeners about how you got to where you are today in the field of sexuality?

Well, I have a crazy life story that I'M probably the world most unlikely porn star, sex educator, making sex ed content, video to writing books. I was extremely awkward, shy Asian immigrant, moving to the state when I was 11. I spoke with such a heavy accent. I was really awkward with girls and I struggled with that part of my life for so long. I thought because you know, in America, Asian guy's penis is being made fun of and it ends up to be a butt of every joke. So you grow up thinking that if you don't have a porn star cock that your life, your sex life is worthless. So just like most men struggle with is my dick big enough, am I hard enough, can I last long enough or. Sexual worth is only based on those three criteria and I live most of my life that way. That's why I love helping other people transform their sexual self esteem because I know what it's like to feel that there's nothing you could do to make that part of your life better. And then you just like fuck this. There's no way to get better. And thank God I learned to adapt a growth mindset to sexuality. Really dig into the science and learn what really creates remarkable pleasure. And it's definitely look is not having a hard dick is great, right. But however the biggest pleasure gap is for heterosexual women. And the problem is most guys think they need to have a big dick, they need to be hard all the time and they need to jackhammer. And it's not creating the anal orgasm that everybody, a lot of people would crave.

No.

So I love teaching their art of actually not just creating a mind blowing sexual experience. That's something that ideally some experience someone never had before, then it creates a new reference point. It's like eating a meal, you know, food could taste so good. So I love creating those experiences.

Yeah, you do and you do a great job. I want to jump in a little bit before we talk about anal and all of the possibilities that come along with anal. I want to just talk about your experience and how that began for you. Your journey with, with sexual experiences and anal, whether it's for yourself or for others. And speaking to when you were a beginner, like how did it all, how did it all begin with anal?

Well, the pervy part of me just love anal sex. As in, I mean being a heterosexual guy. I love the idea of seeing my, my cock inside, you know, my lover's ass. It's just so hot to look at. And also, but it's, it's hotter when they enjoy it because there's like a little of a taboo element to it that is really sexy and also finding way to make that extremely pleasurable and allowing your partner to get into this receptive state so they could receive. Because I will geek out on the science a little bit later on the technical part but it also is a fun. It's a fun sexual organ because everyone has an asshole. So it doesn't matter what body you have. You could achieve mind blowing experiences or gaspic experiences with. With anal sex. And there's so many different ways to do it. So it was a fascinating sex nerd topic on top of it. And I do on my own personal experience. So I love on. On the giving end. I love learning about how to receive what it's like to have a prostate orgasm because it helped me relate to women a lot more. Like how do I get myself into this receptive state? Because it's not the same energy as using my. You know, it's different. I mean same thing for I think for a lot of female body the clit energy like rubb, your clit external is very different than having your G spot, your cervix, your anal sex, that sensation. So learning how to navigate that within my body helped me really relate to what my partner is experiencing and why you don't go in guns blazing, you know. So I think it's very important. So also I have is really fun to learn how to have multiple orgasm because I didn't know that it's capable in my body too. So I could like go back to back. I could have a prostate orgasm immediate bipenile orgasm. So I could relate what like to have a multiple orgasm. So I think there's so much learning opportunity within that and so it's a great teaching tool as well.

So the ass, the universal orifice. What would you say are your top tips for beginners who want to even just start with like some sort of exploration like they had never even played played with fingers or toys or anything. What would say be some of your tips or just that initial even like playing with an insertion part that might be brand new for people.

I would actually say that is psychological and contextual first before any technique. If you depends on your relationship. If the whole time you're thinking is my is a poop is going to come out it's going to be awful. Like it's going to hurt like if whatever you be subscribed to that wrong YouTube channel while you're having anal sex is not going to be as enjoyable. So the first thing is that how do you get to a state where you feel comfortable enough to have anal sex and are you? How do you get to a state when you arouse enough to be enjoyed to make it enjoyable? So I find that it's less to do with the actual technique, but getting your mind and creating a state that you're relaxed enough, aroused enough to make that experience pleasurable. And then if it's pleasurable, it's like, you know, you look at a piece of a new dish that you never tried before, it looks kind of gross and you're like, oh, is this gonna taste terrible? But when you put in your mouth, it tastes delicious and instantly you go like, okay, this is great. I could eat that every time. So it's like getting over that moment.

I think is key, huh. And we all know the ass isn't so great at lubricating stuff. So I'm just going to do a shout out to Uber lube here. One of our favorite lubes for all kinds of sex, but especially for anal because it's long lasting silicone lube. So in that sense. So I'm a newbie. I'm going to use April9 as an example because April loves when I do this. She's making a frown face. She's like, you're doing it again. April's never had in her ass touch, by the way. She's definitely had her ass touch. And I'm her partner and I'm also brand new to touching the ass and I want to start playing with April's. Like, I like to explore your fingers in my ass. And I'm like, okay, I'd like to do that too. What would be some first initial steps? I'm pretty sure I want to trim my fingernails to have some high quality lube. But what else did you say? As I start to like play with this orifice that's like I want to warm it up and get it ready.

One of my April's ass. Now I got to think about April's ass. What I would do is the first thing is to do a little bit of negotiation. Basically, hey, anytime that you feel uncomfortable, I won't press forward to make you continue. So if you say stop anytime, happy to stop and won't pressure to continue. So as soon as you tap, do you have like a safety mechanism? Negotiate it so it goes in a lot easier. I think my favorite first time anal sex hat is actually going to shower and wash each other because it gives you, you know that when it's like you cleaned it yourself, right? So I love washing my partner, washing her body. And like essentially getting into the relaxed receptive state. So getting the body fully aroused. And when I wash her asshole, I could take my time and just clean the anus until she feels, you know, like she's experienced the process. And then I usually bring a waterproof vibrator into the shower. So to get her aroused enough to clitoral stimulation and also maybe go down and eat her ass. Because if you put your mouth on it, it's like you got over cleaning bit. Like we did the cleaning, I put my mouth on it. Like we passed that psychologically which is really important.

So you're not using the vibrator on the asshole though, you're using that on the vulva.

You're warming up.

Got it?

Yeah. So I want arousal to be high. I want sensation to be in a dependable vibrator or, or her hand, whatever it is. Oh, I could stroke it. But having some Ketoro stimulation because you know once you turn on everything kind of feels better. So you want the arousal. Say you don't want to start off cold with anal. So that's a great warm up. Even a few warm up orgasm will be great to get things going. So it's not like, like you have to stop there. So it will be vibration. Then I'd be maybe eating her ass a little bit. And then once that transition that you feel comfortable enough, clean enough and she knows then maybe exploring finger and using an uber lube in the shower is great because it doesn't wash off really easily because of silicone lube. And then you could move out the shower and then go into the bedroom depending on what is necessary. And also having. I think there's, you know, I'm like. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the psychological experience of my female partners. And one of the key things is is she going to worry about her white sheets? You know, things like that. Anything that would take her mind into management more. We want like mama out management mo out, CEO mo out. Right. That's not what the time for anal sex. So how can I create a space where she doesn't have to manage sheets and worry about things? So usually I could put like a, like a liberty lib.

Oh yeah, the fascinating. Yeah, we have those@Purepleasureshop.com they're awesome. I have one in black.

I have one in black and purple.

And they don't. They, they can you pour a whole cup of water on them. So great for squirting but also for if you're worried about any sort of like mess that you don't want to see. They're great for hiding that. We have the PurePlasp.com use coupon code. Shameless. Sexy at 15 off. They're awesome. There's like I. That's what I actually used about half an hour ago before I had sex.

Come here.

Just saying. So anyways, back to Kenneth.

So that, that gets all their warm up stuff going. So I think that will be the first thing. And then, then part two, I could go into it more. But that will be the warm up, the setup.

Yeah, yeah. What's part two?

Okay. Yes, please. Part two. Because I have some. I want to go into technique in.

A moment and I want to get my finger in April's ass.

Yes. Not gonna happen. Not happening.

Amy trying happily.

I think first is using that Uber loop and, and this is smart to. There's a way to loop it up that I think is more efficient. So the sex hack is that you use the Uber loop spray because it looks like a little perfume bottle and depending on the body but right at the hip crease. Just like it creates a little bit dipping tray. Depending on the body. Spray wherever you. And then you. So you loop up your finger like so you could do a little bit of that. Like a. Like a chef. Right. You got to loop it up correctly.

This is all about the food. I love it used to be about gym. Now it's a food.

And then you could spray. So you could lube up your finger and then spray some on the butthole. Then you could massage the outside so you know your finger is really well lubricated. If it's a first time anal sex. And using one finger is smarter. Usually index finger because you have more dexterity and you have more. You can move easier with your. You can manage this finger a lot better than most fingers. And then you start with the outside. So you don't. Don't necessarily need to put your finger inside immediately. You should massage the outside of the anus and that will provide a good amount of sensation. At the same time, you could have no simulation on the clitoris at first and just have her feel it a little bit and then see what she liked. Then you go like, why don't you play with your clit? Or why don't you put a vibrator? Again, high arousal is really key. I think the first step is linking the two because if the clit is a reliable provide reliable pleasure and orgasm, it could get arousal high one, stay in high arousal. Once we get into the massaging bit, you will See a little bit of their anus actually pucker a little bit. It kind of just relax. So in the beginning, when you're like, oh, I'm about. Shit's about to go down, literally, you know, the external sphincter, which you have control over. Right. So there's two. There's gate number one. Gate number two. The first one would be like. Is involuntary. You might not even think about your asshole. But it's like, oh, shouldn't go in. Right. So. So when you massage it, you want to get to the state where it actually opens up a little bit. And then there is. There's so many different sex hacks that you could do. If your fingernails are all like, you're not ready to trim it, wear gloves. That makes it a lot easier too. So there's another easy sex hack.

Someone told us about putting cotton ball. If you have long fingernails and you don't want to trim them, if you put on the. At the end of the glove and then you put the cotton ball the. Where the finger is so it can cover the finger, and then you have the glove there, and then you can still keep your stabby finger, but you don't. Aren't hurting people as much.

Yeah. Especially if you have nails. The cotton ball would cover the nail. Yeah, yeah. So there's no sharp point. And then it won't puncture through the glove, so it gives enough barrier. So after that, after the massaging of the anus and if you're watching on YouTube, is is you could massage it like this when you can fingertip. Or you could do it with your. This flat part of your knuckle, which.

He'S going in a circular position. And then he's using his knuckles in a kind of a circular position as well with his fingertip. And then on the outside, the external portion of the sphincter.

Here's another pro tip. I like it when I'm not rushing the other party. I want the other party to feel like, oh, why is he not putting his finger in yet? That is actually a better psychological place. Right. So you're taking your time, and he's just like, I'm ready. So when that person is actually ready, it changes the dynamic because you don't feel like that person is rushing you. So it's really important not to. Not to initiate when, but kind of get that person to feel like, okay, I'm ready is better than you asking. Because then it's just not the right syntax, right order. So after that, there's a couple of techniques on the book. So there's the PNF stretching. So there are stretching techniques that you could do, which is what athlete does to stretch out their hamstrings. And again, it's controlled by their second sphincter is involuntary. So your body has to learn how to let that one go. It's relaxation. But there is enough proprioception meaning for the receiver to control number one. So you want that person to learn how to control it. I know I talk like a personal trainer, but it's effective because if that person understand their own ass, they're much more. They feel more in control and in power.

Wait, Kenneth, question. Just right here at this point I have two different pieces. The first piece is what do you think about if. Okay, so fingers are of course an option. We have those accessible. Most of us have those accessible. So what about using Instagram instead? If someone isn't wanting to use a finger, a plug, like a small plug or some anal beads, something small to get the anus ready. Do you think that is a viable option or is that something that you would consider more for advanced folks or intermediate folks? Or are you just talking about what's accessible now and easy? Because my experience, I feel like butt plugs can help the smaller ones. But I also I worked with sex toys for years now, so I have those on hand.

I my answer is it really depends if it's the first time partner anal sex. Right. And especially if it's a heterosexual context. It's like he was trying to fuck my ass with his penis. So it really different. If you are doing your own personal exploration anal training, then a plug or toy will be great. Esther sort of initiation process. But the reason I favor the finger personally and there's no like one way to do it is that I have sensation that I could see what's going on. I don't get a feedback loop from toys or plugs. So I know when she's tensing and when to go in and when to coach. Right. Or when is everything is ready to go. So. So I get a better feedback loop and there's ways to hack the sphincter. Two right. So one is the PNF stretching, which this. There's a couple of different ways to do it. So I'm going to give you all three hacks because I love sharing different hacks on on the podcast and you can write about it, you could share on social media. The first one is just once you. So you wait, right, I'm ready. You put the finger in and you press against the Hole and you wait until it relaxes. That's the first one. And then once it relaxes, you ask the person to bear down or try to push your finger out. So you know when you poop, basically when you're trying to push poop out your. Your opens. So it counts. It's counterintuitive because you think pushing is. You don't think it's opening, but it is. So if you ask a person to push against you, then you could go in much easier.

That's like bearing down.

So that's the relaxation. Bearing down. Yeah, pushing out. Because if you tense up, it's going to. Actually that could cause pain and the fissures and.

Which sounds counterintuitive to people. You're like, wait, you want me to bear down? And as if I'm pooping. But like actually that helps. Helps to open up the muscles.

I tried different lines and I'm a crazy nerd. So I was. Which line is the most effective? Say push my finger out so they don't think if I say pooping then they read sexy. Like I'm mad. I think the sexiest organs between the years, I'm trying to manage that. Most of the time the body just go along with the rye, you know. So yeah. So until they get into their body, they're not thinking anymore. Different, different state. So bearing down is one trick, right? Pushing. Try to push my finger out as soon as I feel it opens. That's when I slide in on the 1st and I'm trying to necessarily need to put my whole finger in. It might be two knuckles. Once I'm in there, I don't move. Right. So there's a lot of sequence that I like on. On first time anal. So you wait and you go like, how does that feel? Right? And then don't. You don't have to move it and just say how does that feel? And go like, is there any pain? Relax into that. Then you start with sensation. So you don't have go in and out. You just have to press up. Right. And if you want to go in a little deeper, you could go like, can you try to push on my finger again? So she learns how to use that muscle because it becomes more voluntary. Go like, oh, this is how I relax my ass.

Pressing up towards the belly button. Right. As well, just in case the belly button.

Or also if we were talking about. Because this would apply to putting a finger in a penis owning ass too. And you would still also. If you're trying to get towards the prostate, you'd be pressing up as well towards the belly button as well. So. So what you're talking about here, I know we're saying more like she and this, but this applies to fingers and any ass.

Yeah.

So all the assets. And one thing I want to say about the sex toy piece for just to add there, because April and I are both big sex toy fans, is that just to clarify, for folks who are brand new, anything, any sex toy you're using on your ass has to have a base on it. Mean it has like a flange or flared base. Because the ass keeps going and going into colon and, you know, rectum, colon and then intestines.

And it does a trip to the hot hospital.

It doesn't have an end. Yeah. Whereas a pussy has an end and things don't get lost back in there. And so you want it. So there are anal stopper.

Yeah.

You want anal safe toys. Like, if you go to PurePleasureshop.com and you go to the anal section, all those toys are anal safe. Whether it's a vibrator or a plug or something, you'll see they'll have. This base is really important.

Yeah. My wife is an ER doctor, so I hear other stories of what could. What could get.

I ask ER doctors all the time about this. I'm like, so what have you seen? I want to know. Not someone. It was actually a football player said he slipped on and fell on a Coca Cola bottle.

Seriously, I feel like I've heard that before. I thought that was, like, you were there. Oh, I was there.

That's why you have heard that before. But I friended. That's an ER doctor. A mutual friend told us a few stories and I don't ask because I'm. I'm making fun of the situation. I really want to shed light on it because I think it's. It's taboo for people to stick things in their ass. And they. People like it. It feels good. And so when they come in, they're like, hey, I have this. I slipped and fell on a Coca Cola bottle. And then there was one that was a Tabasco bottle. And he said. I was like, was the lid off? And the lid was off.

Oh, shack tuck.

Anyway, that's my only story. I would love to hear about your.

We're talking about getting actual sex toys for this and fingers and actual phalluses, either homegrown Cox or dildos that have basis.

So onward. That's Kenneth, because you are. You're like, these are awesome tips. And we're on number Three. I think number two was the.

So there's pushing out, and then there is another trick is that you ask that person to squeeze your finger as hard as they can until they tire out when there's no more squeeze. So it's like flexing a muscle as hard as you can until you can flex anymore. So it relaxes. Like it's a forced relaxation. Like little. Hold it. Yeah. For like a minute. And it's hard. They will give. They will give up. Like, they could only squeeze for so long. And once it's is relaxed, then it stays relaxed for a little bit because you're too tired.

So it maxes out. It's almost like a muscle maxing out.

Yeah. So you flex, flex, flex. And then it was like, oh, it.

Reminds me of when, like, people are having kind of like panic attacks and things or going through high anxiety. And the. And one of the. I think it's tre. Where they say, do a wall sit where your back is against the wall and your legs are in L shape. And you do that to the exhaust your body. And it can help to pull you out of this, like, anxiety place because you're so exhausted. And I'm not a licensed therapist, everyone, but it's what it reminds. I just never thought about that for anal. That's amazing. I'm gonna try that tomorrow with April.

Yeah.

So, yeah, every time I gotta watch the YouTube videos. Her facial features are great. She hates it. Shaking her head.

So you squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze until they, like, you literally don't. Just don't tell them to relax until they, like, give up. Basically, you want to ask to give in to relaxing, and then you have a more relaxed butt. So that's how you hack the splinter too. And the third one is PNF stretching, which is proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation. I think that's the. I forgot in my. My personal training, we're gonna quiz everyone.

Later on that, so be ready.

So the same. Is the same idea is that you having the same contraction piece. So imagine I am. And that's the diagram that I showed you earlier on the book. Imagine you're hooking your finger in all four directions. So just say, this is April's butt. And then I am hooking just the first knuckle in. And then once my finger is in, I will ask that person to squeeze. And then I'm stretching one direction, so I'm pulling. And then the squeezing is fighting my pole.

Ah.

And then you want that squeeze to maintain for seven seconds. And Then when you relaxes, it tricks a sphincter to relax. And then you could stretch it more. It will go beyond your like limit before your brain sends a signal that, oh, I shouldn't be. You know, because it works on your hamstring the same way. You fight it, fight it, fight it, fight it, relax. And then you could stretch a little bit further than normal. But another study said that you don't really need to stretch beyond pain. Like 40% just say 100 is like, oh, it's too painful. And then there's no benefit at 80. 40 is good enough to get the most benefit out of stretching. But you could also anal stretch so you could create more flexibility just like a hamstring, but for basically hold it for seven seconds, you count it, and then when they relax, you stretch it a little bit more and you do all four. So all four direction, left, right, up, down. And then that also gives like a training protocol for, well, for the receiver to feel how their ass actually works. Right. That's the empowering bit.

That technique should be called news north east west. Right?

Smart.

Trademarking. You can't trademark.

Yeah, definitely can't trademark from Charlie Glickman.

Oh, Charlie knows the ass so well. Charlie was actually on episode 108. I remember that. And it was like some like aztastic anal. He was also our very first speaker on the prostate episode 11, I think. So I think we were just right about this in the book. Book. Our, our book. And he. So he definitely knows he has the ultimate guide to prostate play that he co wrote with I forgot the name of the other person. So it's not just his book. So wait, I want to ask one question because he said pain. So my understanding is this is why April and I never recommend numbing stuff for ass play. Because you want to feel what's going on. And so there's a distinction between maybe you can elaborate this between pain and discomfort. Like my, for me, when my ass is relaxing, it's uncomfortable. I understand what discomfort feels like. And then once it relaxes, then it, then it can be really pleasurable and discomfort goes away. But pain like burning, tearing, things like that, those are different. So I just wanted to kind of elaborate and then see what, how, what your thoughts are about that.

Well, good anal sex should be pretty pain free. I would say. So maybe I'm. Some minor discomfort is more like learning about your body, learning a movement again, after 15 years of personal training, there is a difference between someone feeling like a minor discomfort versus like I'm hurting the Joints are hurting. So having that distinction is really important. But I think once, I think another. I'm giving like tons of sex hacks on this podcast. I think it'll be great. The last one is that you don't need to go in and out in order for that sensation to work. So once you get your finger all the way in, this is more of a general tip. The internal sensation respond to pressure more than vition or vibration. That's why you don't see a lot of internal dildo that deal with vibration. Because it's a pressure nerve. So it's visceral nerve. So same thing. It's the same sensation you get from like the. Those orgasmic cramping, right? Those contraction to your. Your period cram. It's the same nerves that travel the signal. It just depending on it's pledgeable or not, right and contextual. And those nerves because you don't need to in and out in order to produce the pressure. But you could go in and out when there's tension on top already. And the in and out creates that sensation. But you could just flex your finger up, which is, you know, much, much easier. And then the last hack is when you're ready to put the second finger in. You stagger your finger like this. So you don't try to go in side by side. You stack them so it becomes a smaller point.

And then you video they're kind of like on top of each other instead of like yeah, got it.

And then you get your finger in and once they feel, you know, you could still again you could do all the bearing down, squeeze my finger until it's too tired. Then you could spread your finger. I actually believe, I know that I sound like I'm taking so much time, but your first time someone trusting with your butt. If you fuck this up is not good for you. So this is a long game, right? Like you rather be slower than faster in this game. So once if I. If I desire one finger totally works. But if I want two fingers, I have a little bit more. I could produce more pressure. And remind me to tell you why people like to pick huge objects up up the ass, especially gay men. And there's a neuroscience explanation to it. So once you have your two finger in, then you, you really want arousal to go up. That person is comfortable and you ideally you should pair it with an orgasm experience. You could go down on her. There could be she could rub her clit or for, for prostate. You could suck the cock, jerk it off, whatever it is. Here's so first one could be you just use the clit ass to elevate, to escalate where you get closer to climax. Right. But it is fun to slow down that stimulation when you get closer to orgasm so you could pay more attention to your ass. So you know that bit like when you're about to come, everything kind of feel good. This is like when you slap me, slap me.

Yeah, totally slap me harder.

Yeah, yeah. I love April's expression too on that one.

Watch the video everyone. Yeah, yeah, do that and go find us on Instagram because we have clips on there too. So TikTok as well.

So get to that moment when you're like in that state. But then you want to slow down the penile or the cataract stimulation so you could pay more attention to your butt. And then you could. So one way to do it is that you get really close and then you slow it down, but you're still about to come. And then you use the ass to cross over. Then your brain remap and go like, oh, this is possible to have an orgasm. Another way is that you start off, you know, I mean, if you. You have a female body, then you're lucky. Multiple orgasm is so easy for more female than male. But the goal is that you could have an orgasm just good old way that it's dependable. And then the second one, you do that, the second one that you pay more attention, you pull back on the clip just enough. But the pressuring, the pressure is the key. Right. And then you could also do in and out and check in and see what that feels good. But usually what you're trying to feel with your finger inside is locate. You can still feel it where the urethral sponge because it's such a thin layer of membrane and then also where the cervix ends. So you could still. If you're. If she's curl up into a ball interior pelvic tilt. Right. The cervix is still be under the tip of your finger. For most people's finger. Yeah. Do anally so you can feel the cervix. Yeah, yeah. So you can still feel the cervix. So that is basically the A spot and P spot. So you could stimulate that or you could go a little bit. You don't have to go so deep. Right. You're still focusing on G spot anally. Now there are cool things about why. Why male body loves larger objects in the butt is that this might be a little bit nerdy. Very scientific. So it doesn't matter if your male body and female body there's still four nerves. Nerves that sends a signal to your brain that make your. Your genital sexual signal to your brain. So they're the one that's control your clit and your. Your penis. Like the head of your penis. And the clit is the same but for your G spot is basically male prostate. Right. There's a little bit of crossover. But we don't have a cervix. Right. And the vagus nerve the way lays on our male body is higher up in the intestine. So what what men likes deep and pressure is to feel those nerves that we don't really. We don't have a good easy access to. That's why we see the deeper in and higher up in order to create the pressure. That's where the.

Big old. The big old dildos.

Yeah all the skinny one that goes longer that could travel up their. Their large intestine to hit those nerves. So ultimately what people are trying to do is stimulate those nerves. It's not because and their pressure respond. That's why or longer or fisting becomes popular on that end. Because it's not. Is not an easier way to access those nerves. Some people could do it through their belly like if they. You know those massage gun.

So yes I love.

There is one hack that is questionable. So don't try this with a grain of salt and talk to your doctor.

Before you talk to your doctor first.

But, but, but you could. You could use that massage gun and while you masturbate getting closer. So two hacks. One is have the Moscow and hit your hip bone because your hip bone would conduct the vibration to those nerves. And you might want to have a pat there because if it's the thing hitting the bone in my heart or you could put it on the lower stomach while you masturbate and you could feel those nerves being activated. But the key is that you have to be in a receptive state. It's not the same energy as you're trying to bust a nut. Nut is different. It's like I'll rub one off. It's a different energy when it comes to anal receptive pleasure. I think most men almost male body they never enter that state. On that receptive state. They only have to let me rub one hour. Let me bust a nut energy. So they have to learn that prostate or anal sensation. That's why I think you could. You know you have a straight man is really important for you to at least try it one time to explore your own Prostate So you know what your partner is experiencing. Even if you. You happily never touch it again and you live a happy sex life. It Just to understand what your partner has to go through is really important.

This is all amazing. As usual per usual with Kenneth. So we've talked about fingers. I want to share just a tiny piece from my experience with anal to see if this is common for other folks because. Or if you have suggestions. So I'm speaking.

I have.

I own a clitoris, I own a vagina, and I own an ass. And when I've been penetrated by a penis owner anally, what I find after I've been warmed up and the penis is inside. For me, I personally do not like the in and out with the cock. I need it to stay inside of me and kind of go. Because the in out sometimes even if my ass is warmed up can be really tricky for me. And then it can. It doesn't create pain, but it creates more discomfort. And I can't get into the. The rhythm of the experience. So I'm wondering if this is something that you would also suggest, like no in out privileges when you have that when you're inside the ass or if that's just. Is that just my body?

Like a VIP band?

Yeah, you have a VIP band. There's no in and out privileges. Okay, you're in. And you're in. You're in.

I think a lot of sexuality is based on preference. Just like food. Like some people like it spicy, some people like it really bland. So it really depends on. On that individual. But however, if you like the cocks to stay in, you could be the one who's sitting on the cock, right? Because you have more control over. And this you could just sit on it was all the way in you and the penis becomes the butt pl. And then that gives you easy access to masturbate or finger yourself or whatever else that you could do it. You could have a version where you're not just in this receptive state like you or someone doing something to you. You could take control over the anal experience. I think it's more important to link positive experience, orgasmic experience to anal play first. And then you could explore different ways to approach anal. But if you have most anal is like just painful or this guy doesn't care and just fucks my ass. That is not usually a good recipe. Those are.

The people are like, why do people like anal? I don't get it. Why would anyone like that? Or they. Or for going to the doctor and then, you know, have Some sort of exam, like the doctor's not there to pleasure you. Everyone, or, or they had. There's also the experience that people had the slip where they're having vaginal sex, all of a sudden shoves in the ass and they're like, that must be what anal sex feels like.

That's what happened to me for a long period of time. I. I wouldn't even. I said, no, no, no, anal's not for me because I had experience, a bad experience, meaning a painful one. That was an accidental experience.

And that's like someone punches you in the stomach.

Yes. And. And I thought it was permanently damaged. I was like, I think I'm bleeding. Right.

You probably did bleed. I probably did, yeah, probably.

And that's why we don't always want to put ourselves in these boxes of pleasure, right. Where you think something just absolutely isn't for you. If you are with the right person, you can trust. You're reading your Kenneth's book about hacks and how to do it with a lot of. Of intention and doing it with pleasures first, being compassionate and empathetic to your partner's needs.

Yeah.

So I think that is the key.

It's really important to have education perceive your experience when it comes to anal sex. So a little bit of learning goes a long way. And I compare it to this analogy, like back in the day when I used to play video games, you just kind of do trial and error. You don't know how to beat the boss. Right. But now you can actually watch people how to. To beat this level and you could follow along. So why would you want to stumble when it comes to this kind of experience? You kind of want to go in with knowledge, right. And you can see what the best are doing. So you could mimic some of those, like, you know, trial and proven successful technique. And the other thing is about trust, right. Is anal trust is a whole nother level of trust. If you get to anal trust, the person is most likely would do a lot more things, explore a lot more what you have, you earn anal trust. If you're worthy of anal trust, they probably desire to try more things with you. Because if you could get that going and you could show someone that they could have experience they never had before, you are trustworthy and you could take them to places they couldn't take themselves. Magical.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally have had the whole spectrum of experiences. And like you were saying, it's prep. The preference, like April has a preference for not a lot of in and out thrusting for, like, for Me personally.

No, I like the, the thrusting, just.

Not all the way out. Yeah, yeah, not all the way pulled out. Totally. And, and for me, I have days where I'm that way. I'll, I have, I'm like, some days my ass is just like, no. You know, some days I like, I think I want to play with the ass and my ass is like, nope, it's not happening. Some days the fingers or the, that I'm playing with just slips right in or the dildo or whatever and my ass is just like, yes. And, and like some days it, it takes 20 minutes for my ass to warm up. Some days within two minutes it's like, I want you to my ass right now.

And some days it is a hard note.

My favorite line.

Oh, yeah, I want you to my ass. Yeah. And, and like, and you know, for me it's, it's just based on so many things. I'm also like a little more of an energetic person and, and so I just kind of like, I just listen to my body and it's different every day. And so I think that the learning part though, like, that I think that's a really valuable tip for people who want to penetrate someone anally to experience penetrating their own ass, at least with fingers, to know how these muscles work, what does this feel like? And like you said, because how else are you gonna. I mean, we could take all the sex side classes, but if you have the ability to experience it because you haven't asked everyone, so if you're going to go and play with someone that way, it's. I think it's really, really valuable. Some of the best anal sex I've had with people is with people who have penetrated their asses like they have had some sort of experience.

Right. It may be just a finger.

Yeah.

Or a couple of fingers, but definitely agree with you on that one.

It could be your own finger. It doesn't have to be someone else's finger. You could have your, your own privacy and explore in the showers or less cleanup and, and all that stuff. So you could do that. It's also really remarkable to, to the anal trust level is to be in that receptive state. Because that is, you know, like, I'm quite kinky. To me, it's like when you in like full submission, it's not compliance. Right. They don't, it's not like, oh, I'm gonna tolerate you. My ass is in full submission and is in this receptive state is absolutely delicious. And I think it's really important to know what you're doing. Because who the would trust you with your, with their. If you don't know what you're doing?

So totally. Is there such thing as an anal quickie? I mean, I said, I was just saying today, like some days I'll have this day where my ass just kind of opens up up. But like for me generally it's not like a five minute sex session that that happens. Full penetrative anal quickies. Is that doable or we. Are we talking like you probably need at least 10, maybe you were above.

30 minutes for a while. Yeah.

Oh, there you go.

And then you were relaxed and then you could have a more quickie or a longer quickie or a quickie quickie. Quicker quickie.

Quickie anal. The scientific answer is there's pleasure conditioning. So it depends on how conditioned you are. So you have anal sex every day. Your body will get to that state a lot faster. Like if you have an experienced rock climber, they could just ready to go. They don't need to, you know, they're ready to go like skydiving, right. They're gonna jump. They don't hesitate because they've done this so many times. So it's like how many jumps do you have under your belt that makes you that. That whole warmup process a lot quicker.

Yeah.

So you're on your way, Chip.

I'm there. I'm gonna be an anal quickie girl someday. I'm growing up real quick. I want to be there there. Well, this is amazing. I've learned so much from you every.

Time Kenneth play is on. I feel like we talked about anal.

For like 20 hours.

We really could. And well, in theory, yes. Is there something else?

One more sex hack there? I wanted to put a, like, like a, what do they call it?

A disclaimer.

No Easter egg on my book. Like, can I have one crazy sex hack that like people will. Will mention? So I have one sex move. It's called release the Kraken. I know it sounds horrible, but I wanted something really funny, so. And I'm going to show it to you guys and you could, you can learn more about the book. So once your finger is in, like this is after a bunch of warm up. Like there's a lot of edging teasing. So you have to be in the edge of orgasm like you're 90 there or 99 there. So once your finger is all the way in and that person is bent over ideally, right? So like ass, face down, ass up is pretty good. And I'm using my finger and my arm is straight like this. And I'm doing this really rapidly once I'm inside.

So he's taking his arm up and down. For anyone that's not watching YouTube.

Is going up and down like this. So what you essentially doing is that when you are pressing down and the release, right? So you're creating a lot of firing for those nerve, the pressure response nerve. And it kind of throw you in this like crazy orgasmic state with like crazy contraction. And you will see like gape. Like, obviously this is all the. You do all the prep work for this anal experience because you. It's not like I haven't douche. Like this one is like full on porn star, but on this one. But if you do it, it's really. It's remarkable what type of orgasm it triggers.

Are we talking like the range here? Is this like an inch or 4 inches? Or is it. I mean, are we talking like a foot?

Like half of them down?

Whatever the butt will take, it will reach. It will reach a limit. Right? So just bounce back with it. It's like. It's like you're dribbling a basketball. Just think of it like that, but with your finger. And what you're dribbling is the. Is the cervix, is the G spot, is all the nerves, but all. All the nerve will fire up. And that person could still have a vibrator on the clitoris or rubbing the clit, but it really is a showstopper. Oh, my God.

I have to try this. I need this. April loves releasing the Kraken. To everyone who have you not watched in the YouTube video? Go to our YouTube channel, our shameless ex YouTube channel, so you can see what he was just doing.

Release the Kraken. Do you say that right before you do that?

Yeah.

Do you say, and it's like, I am going to release the Kraken. I think that maybe next time you might want to consider that.

Yeah, April. April says that randomly he's showing the.

Pho, the pics, the. There's imagery and all.

Oh, you can see the little figure.

In his sex hacks to show you and QR codes to link you to.

And the QR code would have it in as a gift. It shows your emotion. Cool. And then which spot is you oppressing on? But what's really remarkable, why I call it the Release the Kraken is like. It's funny because it feels like every time my lover is possessed by, like, by the darker sign, something is being released.

Become the Kraken.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Right when the Kraken came out was the. It was Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yeah, the Kraken was like.

It was like Blackbeard. Blackbeard came out. No, it was like that squid.

Oh, squid. Oh, yeah. All witchy. They're like, yes, I like that one.

This is like raw, primal joy that you rarely see someone drop into that state. This is really beautiful. Like you're not trying to give a. You don't give a shit. Really at that moment. Like you're really in that experience. I think it's beautiful.

Add that to my bucket list.

Yes. And we don't ever want to say goodbye or release the Kraken to Kenneth. However, we only have a little bit of time every week with y'. All. So please, Kenneth Play. Can you share how to folks can find your book, first of all, find you, work with you, all of your handles. Because we love handling Kenneth Play on the show because he's just fantastic.

Really good at handling things and he's.

Good at handling things.

Thank you. So go to Kenneth play dot com. That's the easiest. All the links are there. You can also follow me on Instagram and Twitter. But I do, I am really killing it with the blog. There's like tons of free content and it's only safe space that I don't really get censored as much. So I could put the best stuff on my blog. So definitely go to my website, check out the diagram. Check out the diagram in motion. And I really want to provide the best content. And to end this, this podcast with I don't like the idea of informing people how to do a backflip. I want to teach them how to do a blackflip. And until you learn how to do it, I don't give a shit if you are world expert in Blackfoot that you can do one. I want you to able to do one. That's the fun part for me.

So the king of analogies, I would.

Say sign of it. Also true educator who like really, really care about the whole process that comes so. All right. And one last time, remind our listeners the name of your book that they.

All need to get beyond satisfy. A Sex Hiker Guide to Endless Orgasms, Mind Blowing Connection and Lasting confidence.

Yes, we have it here. You must go check it out.

Wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Gratitude to you, Mr. Kenneth play. Gratitude to all of you. Releasing the Kraken out there after this.

Episode, he needs to release another crack.

Shameless. Can I shamelessly plug one more thing?

Absolutely.

Love those Plugs.

Let me plug. I also have a sex hacker pro course, which all the techniques that I just talked about, you could see it live on video when I demo it. So it's not just written words. You see me, how I do it, literally, because I taught fitness. So you will see how I negotiate, how I actually do the thing, what it looks like, so you don't have to imagine this stuff.

Awesome.

That's how I became acquainted with Kenneth Play's work, because there was a video of you teaching in a workshop, a digital workshop, how to have someone ejaculate, specifically.

We saw that.

Yes. We're like, whoa, this. He's coming on our show. We're so excited. So thank you. Yes, absolutely. Check out all of Kenneth's work, because, again, I love that analogy with the backflip and teaching folks, rather than actually just telling people how to do it, like, do this, because everyone is different, and you are kind of adapting that Rubik's cube of humanity to adjust to each person's specific needs and situation. So I think that's really beautiful. And thanks again for that, Kenneth, and thank you to all of our shameless sex revolutionaries out there listening. I just want to invite you and welcome you to Rate us. Rate us. Give us five stars on Instagram. I mean, not on Instagram, I guess, just see if you're paying attention. Itunes, so.

And Spotify.

Go ahead. Give us a little bit of a review. If you just have time for an emoji, we accept that, too. So we will see you next Tuesday for another episode of Shameless. Ex ciao for now.