Kenneth Play, a sex educator and former personal trainer, shares how single men can build confidence and community in sex-positive spaces. He emphasizes shifting from a taking mindset to contributing, making genuine friends first, and bringing skills like rope or spanking to offer others.
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It's going to be fun to learn some of your tips and tricks and tidbits and everything that you've learned over the years that you can share with our followers.
Yeah. And also I'm probably one of those really random weirdos who like going to sex party as a single guy and is. Is I find that extremely fun. So I can't wait to share some of those tips, you know?
Yes. Because you know what's so interesting is is that can be really kind of overwhelming sometimes for, for single guys. Well, I mean for couples too.
Single women.
Women. Yeah. So it's so great to have someone who can come at it from more of an excitement standpoint that than that kind of scared, anxiety ridden. What's going to happen.
Yeah. And overcome those really big challenges. I remember giving myself a prep talk right before I went to my first play party solo by myself and I called one of my best friends, trying to get a locker room pump up before you run into the field kind of conversation. And since then, it's been so long ago, but I remember that anxiety, that fear, that overcoming that. Yeah, yeah.
So that's going to really be a good thing to talk about tonight.
And so you know everyone that's with us right now, I want to introduce Kenneth Play. He's an international expert on female pleasure and he was named the world's greatest sex hacker by GQ and Men's Health. He had a lot of years, 15 years of experience as a personal, personal trainer. He leveraged the best of that business education model to re envision sex education. And he's now helped millions of men gain sexual competence through rapid skill acquisition. And he's going to touch upon a little bit of that tonight. And, and some other things. Kenneth, did you have anything you want to add to your amazing bio?
I, you know, I want to start with like I'm probably the world's most unlikely sex educator out there. I came from a really insecure place, petrified, you know, being in those extra situation where I was exploring. So I really want the audience to know that, like it's how I overcome those anxiety, overcome those challenges is what I really want to share.
Well, and that's what makes you probably one of the best educators, is because you're going to know what you're talking about. Right. You've had the experience.
And you know, when we were talking in the, in the green room earlier with Kenneth about one of the most common questions we get from both single men and couples when we're at the club, we get it through emails. We get it on comments on our, on our YouTube channel. They want to know how to meet a couple. You know, how do we go about broaching this group of people that's over there talking with each other that seems like a clique or you know, I'm going to a club and how am I going to, you know, as a single man, how am I going to meet a couple? Give me some tips. You know, that's what they, that's what they ask of us and we, we have ours. But we really want to hear from you how to overcome that fear of meeting other people meaning someone new.
Yeah, there's this. Actually there's a lot of tips and trick from business networking for introverts. You know, like if just it depends if you're extrovert or introvert. Right. But there's definitely some strategy that you could put in place. I think more than anything if people go in there with like a goal oriented trying to take from the situation, they usually not going to be as successful. But if you come into the situation wanting to contribute something, I think it makes a completely different like energetic like divide that you bring into the table is completely different. So I think the first thing for a lot of people is that if you approach a situation with something to contribute that's completely different.
Can you say that again? I love that about you know, instead of just trying to take, but to give say that again.
You know, in any business networking thing if you just go up there and try to sell yourself immediately like people are in or at that. Right. So I don't find it any different in a like sex positive community when people are trying to explore their sexual situation. If you only dare to take something from somebody, they feel it immediately. So if you go in with the intention to give what can I contribute to this situation? What can I contribute to this group? Then you're much more well received and people are will, you know, like reciprocity, indebtedness still is running through our DNA. Right. So if you foundationally we don't work with that mindset then I'm not teaching you how to be a pickup artist at a swingers club. Right. Or a pickup couple because that makes you that guy again. And even if you have, even if you have some short term success is not going to be sustainable. Right. Because people will feel do that.
I mean that is huge. That's like huge news. I mean I would wager that most people watching this, their mind is blown because it's like wait a second. I'm approaching this completely backwards. Right. I'm trying to take something from this instead of what am I giving to it. I love that, I love that. How did you learn that?
You know, it's funny, I remember when I was like deeply sexually insecure. I was always such a like horny kid and so sexual and I wanted to kind of find myself like I went to one party by accident and kind of blew my mind. I opened Pandora box and I wanted to join the community. But you know, as a single guy is really challenging. It's like, like this feeling and then you also get some negative vibe right from the get go. So many single guys are like so thirsty. So you have to overcome the stereotype first, right. Not just like just being in that position, but what I learned back in there in any community or industry. The first thing one of my mentor taught me, go make friends. Like don't trying to go get something from this community. If you could make 10 friends, genuine 10 friendship in a community, then you will get have enough connection that will, will get you into the core group. So if you go in and actually try to make friends first, it was really helpful. And the second thing is have something to offer. That's why sex skill is so useful. If you have actually like if you know how to tie someone up, you got to give a good spanking. If you know you have something to give, right? Then you have like you, you have something go like I have idea. Would you like to try this? Versus it's like going in a kitchen when you don't know how to cook is kind of you got to bring a dish, right. So there' little bit of that. And I have like very specific sex hacks and social hack that I like to share with people too. Yeah.
You know I, I know for me when I've had some interaction with, with single men is sometimes they can tend to have this kind of Casanova demeanor, you know, like they're going to really almost to the point where I don't care, I don't care if they're Casanova, you know, because it's, it's kind of arrogant almost. And so like.
I think that. Yeah, yeah, that energy is, you know, I'm also a, I coach a lot of couples live right. So I'm dealing with someone been married for 15, 20 years and my job is not there. Go like, well husband, let me show you how to fuck your wife better. Like that is not my energy. Right. So if you come on with that attitude, that ego, it doesn't help. The situation is more like, I mean each couple has their own agreement, their own dynamic and how they like to negotiate. Your job is actually be more of of asking question and figure out if they're, you know, what do they desire? What is something that you have to give in that situation that they desire. Maybe you find out that husband really like to watch. But you wouldn't have know that if you come, you know, in the situation with that I want to fuck your wife better than you in front of you, you know. But maybe that thing is actually a turn on for that guy, right? Then you go like, you know, I love doing that. Yeah, this so amazing that pleases you. You know, she is so lucky to have you. Like that's the right approach. So it is same situation, but completely different context.
Exactly. So like when you are in a situation like that, can you just kind of role play us through how that happens for you or how that unfolds? Like when you walk into a space and you find maybe a couple that you find interesting, what do those conversations look like?
Yeah, I love giving specific is about like ultimately it's about acquiring the skills of the people on this webinar. Like one of the key things is.
