Kenny Chapman argues you're 100% disciplined to your current habits, so growth means replacing them, not punishing yourself. He shares stories from military service and quitting smoking to show how self-compassion and learning beat guilt.
Hey, my friend Kenny Chapman here, the blue collar coach, coming to you with a message this week about releasing yourself, about letting go in order to grow. Here's the thing we're taught as we're growing up, you need more discipline. You need to have more discipline here and there and different things. And the most successful people in the world are the people that are the most disciplined, right? I call BS and here's why. When I went in the United States military, I was told that I need discipline. I thought I needed discipline. Then when I decided I wanted to stay, set down the cigarettes and no longer be a smoker, become a non smoker, I was taught that I needed discipline. And the better disciplined I am, the better results I'm going to get in my life. And yet I look at one of my mentors and friends, Dan Sullivan from Strategic Coach, and he talks about the fact that actually we are 100% disciplined to our current habits. Now think about that for yourself. What about the habits that you have on a daily basis? I had a habit of smoking. I actually needed a new, better habit. Not discip. Because I'm going to be disciplined, right? So what happens though, is we kick our own backside and we go, man, I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I can't focus enough. My mind's all over the place. Guess what? So is mine. But you have to work on developing habits that serve you. So you're 100% disciplined to those. Now in your own company, maybe you want to be a better leader. Maybe you don't want to raise your voice and yell at your team any longer. Then you come in next week and you're focused on it. You're going to do good, you're going to do good. Something just trips your trigger and off you go and you raise your voice and you go right back into the old way that you led. Now here's how the world has taught you and conditioned you is that you go, oh, man, I knew this was not for me. I know I'm not one of those type of leaders. And you fall into us versus them mentality. And you go, oh, my gosh, if only I could be a leader like that. Rather than going, okay, wow, let me catch that. Now let me not kick my own butt because I'm doing the best that I can. I. I need to develop a new habit. Discipline is something that I'm going to use to serve my life, not to kick my own butt. And from here, I'm going to move forward, being easy with myself, see? Release yourself from guilt, my friend. Guilt serves nothing. It has no purpose whatsoever. And most people that try to instill guilt on somebody else is because they feel blame themselves. They want to put it out there. Here's the thing. If you want to feel guilt, I'll let you have it once and when you have it once and go, I'm never going to operate this way again. I'm not going to feel this way again. I'm not going to be this type of a leader again or a spouse or whatever it is now. You learn. You're either feeling guilt or you're learning. You're either winning or you're learning. And that's what it's all about. Set yourself free. Let go and grow. I'm Kenny Chapman until we talk again. Have a better than fantastic week and I'll talk to you soon.
