Just let it pass!

Welcome to the podcast, The Girl with the Red Door. I started this podcast back in November with the hopes of being a catalyst for those wanting to share their story, share their voice. We all have a story that needs to be heard, so sit back, relax, grab a drink, grab a snack, and enjoy. Holy shit, you guys, I just spent like 10 minutes recording a segment and then my computer decided to kick me off and not save any of it. So here we go, take 2, let's go. What I had said previously was, if you know me at all, you know that I crave change in my life. So that is in my work life, my personal life, just everywhere. I love change. I love cleaning out my closet every couple weeks. I love switching up my living room furniture every couple weeks. I love trying new jobs and getting trained in different things. It's just something that I feel has always been a part of who I am. Um, and so, gosh, where am I even going with this? It totally just throws you for a complete loop when you work hard on a project and then it just disappears and is just deleted from the world. It's like, love technology, but also it's kind of a pain in the ass. But I'm, I'm so glad to get to talk to you today. Talking about change, keeping it here, I— the podcast is no different. So I, a few weeks ago, I had decided that I kind of wanted to change up how I was presenting the podcast and not just do interviews every single week. I wanted it to be kind of sporadic, kind of just let it be what it is each week. So whether that's just me chatting to you, or whether that's me talking to somebody or letting somebody else interview me or having Lil be on the show. I mean, I just kind of wanted it to change and not have a label. And so today you get to hear just from me for a little bit, and then we will gear up and get ready for another interview next week. But I wanted to chat about the week that I've had and kind of a few, um, like enlightening, enlightening things that have happened. So for those of you who don't know, I'll just sum up a little bit of, of our current family situation. So my husband Kurt is stationed in the Air Force in Rapid City, and Lily lives with her dad in Sioux Falls most of the time. So I travel back and forth to Sioux Falls every other weekend, and we still, you know, switch out every, all the holidays, and then Lil comes here for the summer. So last weekend was my weekend to drive to Sioux Falls. I saw that there was a big storm coming and I didn't wanna get stuck in Rapid. I wanted to get there so that I could grab Lil and we just packed up started heading east, started to head east, and, um, we, we hit this crazy ice slash snow rainstorm. My car looked like a dinosaur with spikes coming out of it. It was crazy. It was cold. We had to go like 50 miles an hour, which was an awesome time for me to catch up on all of my favorite podcast episodes. So once we get to Sioux Falls, about 7 hours later and a broken windshield wiper. And oh my goodness, once we get there, they close the interstate. They say it's, it's too crazy out, you need to stay put. No travel advisory. Also, we got snowed in. So we got snowed in Thursday, we got snowed in Friday, and there was also no power. And I— it's just so crazy because I think that we are we're so— well, at least sometimes just, we take things for granted and we're just unaware of how blessed and lucky we are to live in this country and to not have to worry about electricity going out for long. Or there, I mean, there's just countless of topics that we could discuss about really how lucky we are to live here. So Anyway, in the, in the midst of this snowstorm, we lose power. Decided it was time to just binge read my book, which I had kind of been putting off a little bit. I would read a chapter here and there, but I wasn't really diving all in. So I sat down and read several chapters in a row. I'm reading The Untethered Soul, by the way, which is an amazing book for those wanting to make a huge shift in their mindset and their life. And it's just such a good reminder that we are not our emotions, which I've talked about a couple different times. We are not our emotions. We are not anger or jealousy or disappointment. Those are just things that come in and we should just feel them when we feel them and then let them pass. We experience so many emotions throughout the day. It's just a good, good reminder that we don't have to hold on to those, that we can feel them, we can understand where they're coming from, and then we can just let them pass right through. So that was one thing that I was super grateful for, uh, as far as the snow day went, that we I just had that time to refocus and ponder on where I want to go, all the changes that I wanna make in my own life and how important it is to make those changes for yourself, but also for those around you. Think about all the relationships that we are in, our friendships, our family members, our partners, and whatever you are carrying affects all of those people. I didn't understand this fully until just recently in my life. And several years ago, it was so hard for me to explain what I was going through. I, I felt like my mind was this tornado full of emotion and I could— it was almost like I was out of my body watching all of the destruction and not able to control it. And while reading this book, he really just puts it into perspective that you hold on to all of the different experiences that have happened in your life, you hold on to all of the emotions that came with it, and then you bury it and you bury it because we aren't really taught from a young age to sit with that emotion, feel it completely, understand where it's coming from, and then release it. We're kind of just taught to put it away. We'll talk about it later. We, you know, you're too much or you're too emotional. Now, you know, being almost 30 and seeing all of the things that I've buried and pushed down from the big things to even just little things. And in watching the triggers come up and then learning how to sit with it, resolve it now, and move past, I think it's just so— it's like a cleansing rain. It just feels needed and like it's time. It's it's time for it. And it really has been just a beautiful learning, growing experience. And I'm excited to keep learning and growing and, and evolving, learning how to just be a better person in general. I think that I used to think, well, you know, I'm a good person. Like, I I'm nice to people. I will help people. You know, I love to serve. I love to make people laugh. I'm always to work on time. It was just like the surface-level things. And then I was just holding all of these really heavy burdens inside and building up this wall, thinking that I was protecting myself when really it was just causing a lot of hurt for me and for others around. And so now to, to be a mom and raising my own kids, I am really looking forward to instilling my belief system and my, my newfound knowledge of really finding peace within yourself and not looking to others to help comfort or validate you. I think that that's something that's— it's a lot harder. It's a lot harder, uh, done than said. It's a lot— yeah, it's, it's easier said than done. That— there it is, there it is. I think that, you know, at some point, at least for me, I, I've had to come to the realization you don't need validation from that person. You're never going to get it. So let's look inside ourself, yourself, to figure out and to be okay with who you are and what values and morals do you have that are going to benefit society, benefit your family, and benefit those that interact with you. So as we embark on this week into Easter, and which involves, you know, family time and friendships and brunching and all of the happy things, that we remember to dig deep, get uncomfortable, and feel all of those feelings and let them start to pass instead of holding on to them. Just think about it, when you are angry and you react, you are putting out— you're, you're just projecting all of this ick onto whoever it is that you're dealing with, whether that's your children or your spouse or your friend or your co-workers, whoever it is in your path. When you react because of an emotion that's there just then, you usually aren't very satisfied later. You come back and you're like, dang, I really wish that I would have handled that a little bit differently. So instead, maybe just try and work through all of that, figure out where is this coming from, what is the fear root base, and dig deep, Feel it then, and then let it pass through. And I promise you, it's super uncomfortable at first because you're not used to it. You're not used to facing everything head-on right then, working through it. Even, I mean, feeling pain and feeling disappointment and jealousy and all of those emotions, they're all a natural part of living in this life. So it's inevitable that we are going to feel upset and sad, but if we can feel it and then let it pass and not live in it, it will change your life, but it will also change all the lives of people who are interacting with you. And as a human race, as a society with billions of people on this planet, if we all decided to live that way, can you imagine what a beautiful life we would live and all of the incredible change? And I'm almost getting a little emotional, just all of the beautiful change is really what it is, and healing that we would see. And we would be able to help each other and be there for each other all the time fully instead of just when it's convenient or just when you aren't full of, uh, this emotion that seems to be taking over your body. So yeah, I just— that was something that I really wanted to share with you this week, just to take it, just to take it into consideration. Grab that book, it's amazing. Once you read it, write to me, let's talk about it. I'm seriously thinking about starting a book club and doing a book club like remotely, because remote is the way to go. You know, I've talked about that before too, being able to work and live and travel wherever, whenever you need to. So for those of you who are listening in London or in South America or across the United States, we can hop on a Zoom call together and talk about the incredible books that we read and and learn and grow together, but while we're miles and miles apart. It really is a beautiful thing. So grab the book. Let's start a book club. That's the new change that's coming up. I love you all. I can't wait to talk to you next week. I hope you have a phenomenal week. Talk soon. You know I love podcasts. You know I love supporting others, especially on their podcasting journey. Podcasting is hard, you guys. It takes a lot of time and effort and thought and heart. So much goes into developing the content, developing social media graphics. It's just, it really is a lot of work and a lot of passion that goes into these shows. So it would mean so much to me if you left a review on iTunes or subscribed subscribe to listen every week, whatever it is that you want to do. It'd be super helpful to get the podcast out to others who are wanting to connect and hear real and raw stories.