When Did You Know We Were Going To Be Best Friends?

I'm Kristjana Hillberg, ex-Mormon and mom of 3, and this is I Fucking Knew, a show where we break down life's unexplainable moments, the times when you know something's off but you can't put a finger on it. Or you're drawn to a path that feels right for you despite others' opinions. And when your gut feeling was just too loud to ignore. Each episode features a guest who shares how their intuition showed up for them. Everything from vivid dreams that a partner was cheating to meeting someone and instantly know and being called to just do something else. These are the moments that change our lives forever. Ready to strengthen your intuition?

I mean, isn't it a little crazy though that I started the podcast 4 years ago in November and you haven't been on?

No, that's crazy.

We've talked about it like 10, 20 times maybe. So it's fun.

Only 4 years ago that you started? Yeah.

God, it does kind of feel like longer. Maybe because I've been talking about it for longer.

I don't know.

It feels like forever, but I'm glad you're finally on.

I know. How many episodes do you—

at least 50. I was thinking— I mean, it's not bad. I was thinking back to the beginning, like when I first started recording, I was recording on my phone, like from the app, and I was editing with like on my phone, like I was like zooming in, zooming out. It was a complete shit show. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. And Kurt one day was like, you know that like a free audio editor comes with your computer, right? Like it's just on there. You should try that. And I was like, oh, Okay, so yeah, it was just this— just thinking back to like, I learned everything just like as I was going.

That's just— I wouldn't—

that's kind of how I roll.

I wouldn't even begin to know the software that takes podcasts.

Well, I'm so glad that you at least knew what Zoom was.

Yeah, I had one. When I surprised you with your 30th birthday video. Oh my God.

Yes.

That's when I downloaded Zoom. I was like, everyone download Zoom. And yeah.

So that's why. Oh my gosh. Well, good. I'm so excited that we get to talk about our topic tonight because it's the whole premise of the show is when you just fucking knew something. And I kind of want to hear your story of when you kind of thought that we could maybe be friends?

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious because my memory is so shitty. I mean, we were also consuming a lot of alcohol back then, so, um, well, obviously Spanish. Was it 101?

Yeah, it was 101.

Um, Yeah, that's where we met, and that was fine because I was in my pajamas every class. So I'm curious to hear your side to that. Um, I don't even remember started hanging out really, but we just kind of like— I was like, this girl is all over the map and I love it. Did you?

Yes.

Oh my gosh, the energy and like just your love to just of people, for one. Like, it was just like awesome to be around. And yeah, it was, uh, I don't know if there was like an aha moment.

Oh my gosh, I do remember you guys coming into Spanish every single class wearing pajamas, and I'm like, who are these bitches? Like, I wanted to be you, but also I was like Who has the luxury? Who has the luxury of waking up, going to an 8 AM class in pajamas? Because I would go to like 2 or 3 classes and then go to work and then come home and even sometimes still have classes. And so I never— yeah, I could never wear pajamas.

Yeah, you were always like, go, go, go! I was like, gosh, I wish I had like a quarter of her energy. That would be nice.

I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but it was at the end of that semester. Well, I got invited to the house party or the apartment party.

The apartment party.

That was our very first time, like, hanging out was the apartment party. And then after that, Paulina was like, we're looking for another roommate. You should live with us. And I think you were like, are you fucking kidding me? Because the apartment party was a disaster. Complete disaster.

Someone's pants ripped or something. No.

Yes, Sam. Yeah, because remember he was trying to like help me up in the bunk bed and I fell and he caught me. His pants ripped. Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about that part.

No, like, move in, this is gonna be the best times. Ever. It'll be a hoot and a half, obviously.

You know what, I was just talking about this story when, um, God, I don't even know what time it was. It was late, like 1 AM, and I got that call from a Brandon, remember? And I was like, okay, first of all, I only know 4 Brandons, like that's it.

And so I was— I only know 4. I only know 4.

But 2 of them were like, remember we had like, one of them was a neighbor. One of them was a guy from my like education class. And then yeah, it was just so random. And they, but he like knew me and was being like, I need you, please come help me. And I'm like, yes, I will be there. But I think that we had drank like a whole, a whole handle of Jack Daniel's at that point. And I was like, I will help you. I don't know how, but I will. And then told our roommate that that was her boyfriend— was not her boyfriend because his name, his name was Brandon. No, wasn't.

So we have no idea who it was to this day.

And I was just telling them when I was telling this story a couple days ago, I'm like, it's still— I still think about it. Obviously I'm still talking about it because it was like, ah, I don't know, like poor Brandon, you know, all I wanted to do was help him, couldn't. Didn't know how.

You wanted to so bad. I can't believe— are you sure it wasn't Luby?

Yes, because she drove over, she drove over and she was like, nope, he's in bed. And I was like, oh shit, I don't know what Brandon it was. And it was calling from like an unknown number. It couldn't have been— it could not have been a prank. No one would prank that. No, there is no one from Joseph neighborhood named Brandon. I do not know anybody. Oh my gosh. So yeah, I just, I remember that story. So much happened in that apartment.

I don't—

so many different things. You don't remember anything? Is that what you said?

No, I do, but, um, that's not the apartment that you had the— that we went to the first party at, right?

No, no, no, but that was the same complex.

Yeah, you're talking about 5201 where we lived together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you had the downstairs bedroom on the left, right by the front door, curtain for your closet.

Yeah, um, that bedroom right by the front door, remember when we had that party?

And, um, which one?

The one where like the cops were banging on the door and like a big guy, I forgot his name, was like standing in front of the door and I was like, I have to follow the rules. And he was like, we are not opening the door. And I was like, he's telling us we have to. And so I like opened my window because my window was right outside the door and I was like, officer, what do you need? What do you need? And he was just like, I'm not going to bust you guys. I just want to tell you that like there's a noise complaint. I was like, okay, like we'll keep it down. I'm sure I came out and was like, we have to keep it down for a little bit, inviting all of the— my Mormon roommates to come eat some cake. That was that birthday. I think I was turning 19.

How did we do that? Did we play it nice and kosher at the beginning? And then when left, did we like pull out the Jello shots, or what did we do?

Well, remember, we— because Madison came down. Oh yeah, remember that? And we were making them, they were all over the counter, and then my mom came to the door and we like threw something over them. I don't really know what you can throw over Jello shots, but then I left for a while, came back Oh, the party started raging at like 10:00 PM. Mormon or no, like Mormons or no Mormons. I don't think the party stopped. It just kept going. But there was that birth. I was like, I'll get a birthday cake. Like fucking anyone was going to eat a birthday cake. I think I was the only one who had a piece, but, but Zach was turning 21. So he was only there until like 11 and then him and his friends bounced. And then it was just. Us. I don't even remember what we did after that because I'm sure 20 jello shots later, don't remember.

And our karaoke parties, those were a hoot. Remember those?

Yeah, or learning that, learning, um, learning that dance. What was it, Bugle Bugle Boy or Bugle, you know? Oh my gosh, funny that I was just thinking about that song and was like, oh my God, I wonder like if I still would remember that dance, and I don't. So I was like looking it up. Yeah, and I was like, I don't remember this.

How I would know what I was doing in that dance. I could try, but oh my gosh.

Okay, well, what's— what are some other What are some other things you remember about that time, about that apartment? Our construction worker neighbors, they lived there for like— you were working a lot. You were at Sportsman's all the time.

I was bartending, making that money. Yeah, um, I remember we threw a party. It's all about parties. Where I, um, came home and I was like— played an April Fool's joke because it was April, and I was like, I just got fired. Do you remember that?

Oh shit, I—

and so vaguely, everyone was like—

like, the party like died.

You ruined the party because it had just hit. I thought it was the best joke ever. Yeah.

Um, apparently not.

Apparently not. Well, I actually believe me, but, well, yeah.

Yeah.

How long did we live there? You, there was like, not long. Your roommates across your bathroom, you went through quite a few down there, right?

Like, no, just one. Cuz I left. Remember I went and lived with Aaron like in the fall.

Oh yeah.

So we only had like an 8-month or 6-month or something. Contract.

Oh yeah.

And then she was gonna move into a bigger apartment, or her sister was leaving, so she asked me and I was like, yeah, that works out. So then I ended up moving into the townhouse with her. But you guys stayed there, right?

Uh, I think so. And it was like a shit show with roommates, I think, maybe after you left. See, we needed you to stay. Yeah, it hits the fan.

Remember, I was also just telling this story too. Remember when— what was that house that you ended up getting with like everybody else after I left?

On, um, Center Street in the ghetto of Flagstaff.

That house was so cool though.

So cool. The hot water heater was like, it's like, am I gonna get a hot shower today or am I gonna get a cold one? And surprise, yeah, nice.

That house was so cool, like the interior was so awesome.

It was like Spanish style. Yeah, meets whatever. Yeah, it was really cool.

But we had put up our, um, Craigslist ad looking for roommates and then decided to like smoke a little bit. Remember?

That was the worst idea. I was like, it's fine, not a big deal at all.

And then we got like 2 inquiries from people, for people looking, and we're like, we'll just show you now. Like, we aren't high AF and drove across town.

Did we really show it to them? No.

Oh yes, we met them. I'm like, listen, I might have been high, but I have a good memory. And I remember meeting them. We always met everybody at Wendy's because that's also where we met Michael. So we met them at Wendy's. They hopped in to the car and we drove over there to like show them and tried to act normal, tried to act like we weren't.

Do you think stuff like that still happens today? Like, do you think people still roll like that or no?

God, I don't know.

I don't know you. Like, what?

I would still do that, probably.

I'm still the same person.

Um, but I don't know if that's like—

but you never lived in that?

No, you guys got it. I had left already.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

But I came back and I went to a party at that house and it was super fun.

Yeah. Which one?

Yeah, I know.

Birthday?

No.

For her birthday, I remember.

Um, yeah, it was a great night though. Great, great party night. Um, I also remember, oh my God, remember going over to the house, kind of like where, um, what is that, like Lake Mary Road? It was over there. Who had it? Was the Boys, like one of the boy groups?

Oh my God, yes.

And every time we would go over there, like gorgeous girls, gorgeous girls from NAU would be there, and we would have been like— I was rolling in pajamas at that point.

He would show up in our Red Sox baseball caps, right? Just like haggard, don't give a fuck, right? Yeah. And then we would all the time, like, don't care.

We would try, we would try and, um, join in on the beer pong tournament and never even— it wouldn't even get to our turn because they would just make all of the make all of it. Was so fucking ridiculous, like every time. So I do remember going over to that house and over to the other house, like across town. Was that Levi's house?

Going over there.

That's where I met that one guy, Joe. Remember you came home one night and Joe was sleeping in your bed and you were like, who the fuck are you? Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's my friend Joe.

Joe is not Spurs, correct?

Joe was not Spurs. That was different, different guy. But, um, that boy Spurs showed up that one time in fucking basketball shorts and boots with the Spurs. Yeah, I was like, wow. Not knocking that at all. I kind of like, like, I love any type of cowboy look at any point. Yeah, it's always like, I'm just like, that's great, whatever, whatever you want to wear. But he always wore His spurs, like at all times. And I thought you only wore those like on a horse. What? Yeah.

Yeah.

Isn't that what it's for?

Like if you're actively going horseback riding in the rodeo or roping, I have no idea. I don't know.

Maybe he was doing that like minutes before he came over. Minutes.

Yeah.

We also allowed that one guy to, he was super high and he was like, yeah, I'll pitch in for booze and ended up pitching in like all the booze money, like $80. And we were like, thanks.

Just like, hey Ruby, thanks so much.

And then he passed. He was so high he passed out. Didn't even get to enjoy the booze. So it was like, thank you so much for supplying, um, our party. Yeah, so much. Come back next time.

What, um, when we went to Joseph City for that all-nighter softball tournament and we— I was like, I don't even— and then we ended up at some random's house, but we were like chugging 5-Hour Energies all night.

Oh my God, I do remember that. And we actually went to Holbrook. That was like a town that was like 10 minutes away. That was a fun— that was a fun time.

Yeah. Oh, that was in Holbrook. That wasn't in Joseph City.

No, but I mean, you have to go through Joseph City to get to Holbrook. But yeah, that was a good time. I feel like I had to coach because remember I volunteered to be like a T-ball coach.

Yes. And I've— yeah, you always— that's why you're so amazing. You're like all like Working at the— what was the school that you worked at?

Yeah, Foresight, the monastery school. I love that place.

Practice. And then you're not— I'm like, how does she get her energy? This isn't incredible.

I'm sure those parents were like, what the fuck? Who is coaching our kids? This 18-year-old girl that there— I should have taken advantage. There was one super hot, like, single dad. And he always volunteered to like help me with, um, and I did not catch on. I did not catch on. And he'd always be like, I can help you with practice or like whatever you need. If you need me to bring the equipment, I'm like, yeah, thank you so much. I was actually going to stay out all night with my friends. It'd be super helpful if you brought the equipment. See you tomorrow. Did not catch on at all.

And he was so cute. Yeah.

And I should have been like, hey, what's up?

And then you're one of the girls that you love, Story, right? Was that her name? Story?

True.

True.

Yeah. Loved her. Loved her dad. There was—

that's not— what? The single dad wasn't True's dad. It's a different guy.

Different guy. But True's dad was single, but they had like this polyamorous relationship going on. Like, I remember they invited me over for tacos one time, and like, he was living with a woman who was also divorced, but they were also like all kind of still hanging out. So when I got there, there was like 6 different like intermingling couples and they were all like, this is the T-ball coach. And I was like, yeah, what the fuck is happening here? Because growing up Mormon, like you hear of polygamy, but that's totally different and something that You know, Mormons say they don't practice anymore. So I was like, what is happening? How is everybody like friends and dating? Like they would like kiss each other. And I was like, I have to go. I think, not sure what's happening, but it was definitely an experience. And they were all extremely nice. Like I just think back and thinking like, would I be that nice? Like, right. That's, that's literally me right now. Like Stone is playing, could be playing T-ball. And would I? I probably, I totally would. If there was an 18-year-old, I'd be like, oh my God, I love this. So funny. I'll bring you coffee in the morning because you'll be hungover. Um, it's just so wild to think back to that point. And I got a dog thinking that that would like be a really smart choice.

Like, you got a dog and I don't know if it was that day that you got the dog or the Next day you asked my parents to babysit your dog and my dad was like, fuck no, absolutely not. And then so what did we end up doing? We put it in the yard. Whose yard?

Nicole's.

Nicole's? Yeah.

And then we came home and he was out.

Did we go to the water park? Yes, that's where we went. Yeah.

What in the actual fuck? Like, I got a brand new puppy and I'm like, sorry, gotta go to the water park instead.

Oh, it's That was like— was that the start of your animal, like, train of not committing fully?

No, that was the last. That was the last, I think.

No, it was not.

The first one was— it was before I had moved in with you guys. I was waiting because I don't think we moved in until like after Christmas break, so I had like a 2-week period of being out of the apartment with the Mormons, and then I lived with a lady that I worked with, and she lived out in like, not Munds Park, but what is the other one, like right before you get there? There's like mountain—

Mount— uh, mountain—

Kachina!

Yeah, Kachina. Yeah, so she lived out in Kachina, and so I lived out there, and my mom got me like a Jack Russell, like a Jack Russell puppy for Christmas. And I was like, oh, this is so cute and so sweet. Yikes. Like, I, I'm literally gone from my house from 7 AM until 9 PM if I even come home. Like, I— what the hell? And so I just remember that it was over like a 2-week period and I was like, I can't have this puppy. And I was talking to the ladies at work and one of the ladies was like, Oh my gosh, I love Jack Russells. Like I've had them for years and years. They're kind of like my breed. And I was like, great, do you want him? And she was like, yes. And so she took him and that was like her baby. She would like dress him up and she would like take photos with him. And I was like, this is the perfect house for him. This is his like forever home. But that was my first, like my first puppy. And then remember when, okay, so I was living with Aaron at this point and we got a major snowstorm. It was when like we were snowed in for a fucking week. What is that bookstore like on like over by Target? Like the roof collapsed. Yeah, like there was— we were fucking snowed in. And, um, Aaron and I had gone to the Humane Society like the day before We got snowed in and I re— I rescued this like half pit bull mix. She was so sweet. She was so pretty. She looked like a tiger. And, or maybe it was like, or maybe it was like the weekend before. Like, I just feel like it was all very close in time because at this point we had, we were out running an errand. So it must've been right before the snowstorm. And we came back from running an errand. And she had clawed her way, like she had taken— I remember, I'm assuming, and she had like opened up the kennel, like bent it in half. And I was like, oh shit, I can't have a dog like this. Like, I'm gone. It was like, I'm gone all the time.

Yeah.

Um, what the fuck? But I think that I was like, I must have been absorbing Erin's energy because she was like major introvert and she really would go to work and come home and like, yeah, didn't do anything else. And I wasn't— I was not like that. And so I think that when I was with her, I was like, oh, like, I'm chill, I'm a homebody. No, I'm not. And so anyway, I think with that one, that experience, I felt so awful. But at the same time, I'm like, I would give her a really awful life if she stayed with me. And yeah, I can't remember exactly what happened, but, um, I don't think I took her back to the Humane Society. I believe Erin had a friend who was like wanting to adopt and she was, again, she went to a really great home, very loving. And then my last one was that cocker spaniel Cooper that I asked your, your parents to babysit. Your dad was like, it's not my dog. No. And I was like, oh God. What are we gonna do? And then we left him at the townhouse. And then when we came home, priorities. And we came home and he was not in the backyard. He was like roaming. He had gotten out and he was like roaming the street, but we found him. And I again snapped right back. I was like, well, shit, I can't have a puppy. This is This is a really big commitment. And I, you know what, what the fuck? Where did Craigslist go? Like Craigslist was so convenient and you always found what you needed on Craigslist, but I posted him on Craigslist and I'm sure he went like, oh, within like within a couple hours. And the lady was like, my kids have wanted, you know, a puppy. And she, for weeks after that would like send me photos of like her kids with the puppy. And I was like, okay, I don't feel like the biggest asshole about this, but I can't keep fucking doing this. Like, I really do love animals. They're so sweet, but I don't know about them living with me. That's like, it's too much.

Everything.

You always look at me like that and you make me feel like I'm such a dick.

No, you're like, yeah, but Um, one that, yeah, remember selling the puppies off the side of the road?

Yes, I do. And you would just go right up to people, hey sir, would you like a, a lab?

$200. Is that all it was?

I think, I think that's all that my mom was selling them for. Did anybody buy them? Like, I don't remember.

I think we got rid of all of them.

Oh, great.

I don't remember them.

Have zero recollection of, um, how that selling went. Do you remember when we went to Little America and you were like, if they come over here, just start speaking French? And I was like, I don't know how to speak French.

What do we used to speak in?

Yes.

I wonder if that's still a thing. There's no way that high schoolers and teenagers can get away with that now, right?

They probably don't even want to get away with it, you know what I mean? Like, that's probably not even like top priority.

It's not a thing, is it? I don't know. We never got caught, I don't think.

I mean, not when I was there. We definitely didn't. It was a nice time.

Yeah.

That was fun.

That's a good soak.

Speaking of soaking, have you heard that that's like a Mormon thing now? If you want to have sex, it's called soaking. Have you heard of that term?

What? Yeah.

So if you, in order to like get away with having sex, basically you, it goes inside and you just sit there and it's called soaking.

Yeah.

And it's just like a thing that Mormon kids do to like—

Oh, I'm sorry. The pee goes in the V. That's not considered sex. That's considered soaking.

It's called soaking. Yeah. But you're still a virgin. You haven't like— Yeah. Because you're just soaking.

Your virginity, at what point then? Like, I don't know how many—

Thrusting. Thrusting at that point, I guess. God, I wish I would have— I wish I would have known about that trick. I didn't.

Yeah, on Netflix, what is it called?

About the LDS?

Did you watch it?

The Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey or something?

Yeah.

Yeah, how fucked up is that shit?

It's so fucked up. I can't believe— like, and still, like, to this day, people believe. Oh, it's like, it's disturbing.

Yeah, I can't even. I can't even with the Mormon religion, man. And that— not that that's—

not that that's the Mormons, but for speaking your truth with it and living your truth and being open and vocal about it, it's important because you never know, like, who, who's gonna listen.

And I mean, you know, when, when I was still going to singles ward there that one semester that I did. And that one boy, oh my God, fucking idiot. I had just gone up to the— gone up to Snowball and broke my elbow. And I was standing in line at the church, like in a sling. And he was like, hey, like a bunch of us are gonna go up. Do you snowboard? And I was like, yeah. He's like, a bunch of us are gonna go up, you want to come with? And I was like, no, like, I just broke my elbow, I'm in a sling standing right in front of you. I believe that we had like just been talking about it. And I was like, Jesus Christ. And then like a year later, a girl you had grown up with that was Mormon was fucking married to this dude. And I was like, oh Jesus. I think we like went, we got like, uh lunch with them at LTK, and I was like, oh, it's this guy. Yikes.

Lunch with them?

With her, for sure. And she was like showing, showing us pictures.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, really smart guy.

Really smart guy.

You got there. Oh my gosh. Um, It really— yeah. And what's funny is that I didn't think that it was because I came from a fucking small town, but Flagstaff is still small.

I mean, yeah, it's all comparative, right? But yeah, you went from small to bigger, but still small.

And that's how, that's how Rapid City is too. Like everyone, you still like know everybody. Oh yeah. Like it reminds me in that sense. Especially like if you grew up here, like, you know, people and everybody knows you and like what you've been doing.

How many people in Rapid?

Like 80.

Oh yeah. So it is small.

Mm-hmm.

But why? Well, shit, I don't know. Who knows now? It's probably like 200K. No, I'm just kidding. I don't think it's that much.

That's a, I mean, it's a destination. I want to live there.

You do?

I love Flag. You know, like, I love the scenery. I love— I don't know, I love downtown. Like, it's just like nostalgic, like going to like Macy's, or, you know, there's just something that's like— it's just, there's like no other place like it. Maybe once I got there and lived there, I'd be like, I don't know, maybe. But I love to visit.

I think visiting for sure. Well, for me it'll always be like home, right? But I don't know if I would— I don't know, I just— I don't miss it, that's for sure.

Really? I mean, you've been to so many places. What's a place that you like would love to move, love to live?

Oh my gosh, if you—

if you could, or if you were like just looking for a place.

I mean, of course I'll say France, right? But, um, shoot, I don't know.

You can't think of like any little towns that you're like, that place was so fun to go for a second, I might want to live there?

No, not off the top of my head. Hawaii.

I'm like that everywhere I go. I'm like, I love this place.

Like, would I really want to live there, or is it just like fun for vacay, you know? Yeah, I don't know.

I know that's hard to tell. Do you remember— do you remember that guy Logan with the blonde curly hair?

I'm still friends with him on Facebook for whatever reason.

No, you aren't.

Yes, I could.

What's going on with— what's going on with him?

I don't think he posts anything, but he's so in love with you. Gosh, you broke his heart. I don't think he was in love.

I don't think he was in love with me.

I think he was in love with you. That's when we used to party at Marissa's apartment and he just showed up.

Yeah, well, I must have at some point given him the address because I don't think he would have just I showed up, so I must have, right? But then he was like wanting to chit chat, like serious chit chat.

He wasn't just wanting to like hang out. And he's like, we—

he's like, we have to talk. And I was like, I don't want to. Yikes. Just be my beer pong partner. That's all I'm asking. That's all I need from you.

Oh my gosh. Wow. I'm also gonna look him up. I don't know, please do. He had like— what's his last name? Like, uh, Newman. Here he is. Newbar.

There he is!

Oh my God, a relationship with Sidney Sullivan. You can edit out, right? Like, obviously don't show his face.

Yes, will not.

Yeah, this is— he's just being Logan. I don't know, it's so funny that— well, yeah, I mean, you know, Facebook, like, you just— I don't know, like, you just get so many freaking friends throughout the years and you're like, how do— how do I even know? I have no idea who you are.

Oh yeah, I don't go back and edit friends on Facebook for sure. Oh, I'm like, yeah, whoever has known me since I've been on there when I was 18 years old.

Yeah, totally.

It's like, okay, that is—

yeah, familiar. Now I think I'm still friends with him.

Oh my gosh, I don't know if I've ever told you this story, but maybe you can tell me if I have. So when I first moved down to Florida, I didn't know how I was gonna like find friends. Like, how do you find friends unless you're like going out to the bar? And I was only 20. So I couldn't like go out to the bar. So speaking of Craigslist, I had used it so much for fucking everything else, trying to find roommates, trying to find and sell dogs. I was like, this is the perfect place to find— what was it called? Like the missing connections, right? I didn't go to missing connections because obviously I didn't have a missed connection, but I was like, I'll just find somebody on Craigslist. I don't know where else to like find people at this point. And, um, there was this guy on there. His name was Ben and he seemed legitimate. And I was like, you know me, I just fucking trust everybody. What?

Well, what do you mean he seemed legitimate? Like, did you talk to him or he just—

Oh yes. I'm like, oh, there's a, there's a whole story. I can't believe I didn't tell you. I don't like, I don't really talk about it. Cause it's like embarrassing a little to say that I was on Craigslist. But, um, I just like think back is Craigslist could have potentially been like a Tinder in a sense, because when there was, you could, you could still post pictures of yourself. Anyway. So Ben was this like 6'5" football player, had his own house. I can't even fucking remember what he was doing, maybe in the Navy. God, it was so long ago. I don't remember. And I was like, okay, yeah, let's hang out. So I think he lived like an hour from where I was living in Florida. So I drove to his house just because I trust everyone around. And he didn't end up being creepy at all. He was great. And he was just as tall as his profile said he was. He was huge, like so tall. And but he didn't talk very much, like at all. So I had to keep the conversation going. And of course, my memory is like spotty, but he took me to this restaurant on the beach, which was super fun. And there was dancing and we ate and then he like wanted to go for a walk on the beach and I was like, oh my God, I've dreamed about this my whole life. Like you always hear about walking on the beach. I've never done that with a man.

Yeah.

And so we walked on the beach and then like went back to his house. And he had this huge dog that was like one of those dogs that would like put their front paws on the floor and then their butt was like up on the couch, like a huge— I don't think it was a Great Dane, but it was like really big dog. And anyways, whatever.

He—

I forgot that before we went out, he made me dinner, like, like from scratch, made spaghetti sauce, but like not from like ragu, like just like made the spaghetti sauce. And but yeah, just like not a big talker at all. But don't really remember too much more about Ben. But that was like my Craigslist date. And he was actually like a legitimate, a legitimate human. But I was friends with him on Facebook for like years and forgot that I was friends with him until he like randomly had popped up. And I was like, holy shit, there's Craigslist Ben. Wonder what he's doing. But he hadn't like posted anything new. But oh my god.

Serious. I mean, that's so far wrong. So it's good that That was a good day.

It could have gone so bad, but I just don't ever think about that. Um, yeah, I just, I just don't. It's just like not a thing. Even now, it's like, I, it's different now. I think that I have kids, I'm more like, my antennas are up a little bit more, but I feel like I usually for the most part just assume that everyone is like always has the best of intentions at all times, which is nice that you have, but it's also like terrifying sometimes.

But no, it's, it's good that you see that or choose to see that perspective. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, thank God, um, for Craigslist dates that go well because I also Maybe I told you this one too. This, I guess this is just a Craigslist confession, but, um, same thing. When I came to South Dakota, I didn't fucking know anybody. And Craigslist was like a way to find somebody and it worked out so well in Florida.

Yeah.

I was like, I mean, I will find another Ben here. And I'd been here, I don't know, for like a few weeks at this point and hadn't met anybody obviously. 'cause I was 20 and not going anywhere and wasn't really trying to meet Mormons. So wasn't going to church and, uh, got on Craigslist again. Oh my God. I must have a thing for military men because I'm now married to my military man. But this guy was, uh, in the guard, I think.

What? Oh, I'm just thinking if I remember this guy or not.

Hey, this is a very quick story, but I found him on Craigslist again and he had a place, his own place in Sioux Falls. And he was over the age of 21. So he was like, oh yeah, like if you want to go out for a drink. And I was like, oh, I can't go out for a drink. Right. I'm 20. And he was like, oh, well, I'll just like buy booze and you can 'Come over.' And I was like, 'Yeah, totally. I'll just come right on over. No big deal. Don't know you.' And went over. And again, not a huge talker, like didn't talk much. And I always have something to say. So I think, you know, the— I had to like, pick up the— keep the conversation going. And oh my god, this is hilarious and also mortifying. So he was like, do you ever— this is like after we had been like hanging out for a while, maybe like 3 hours I would say. And he was like, do you ever like watch porn? And I was like, um, no, not really. I mean, I grew up Mormon. Did I— like, porn was like the absolute worst possible thing that I could do. And I had never like experimented with that. And so I was like, no, not really. And he was like, well, if you were gonna watch porn, what do you think you would watch? And I was like, God, I don't know, like girls probably, because girls are usually more like passionate and slow. And he's like, yeah, totally. Like, he was like, do you want to like watch some porn? And I was like, sure, I've never like watched porn before, so this will be fun. I'm just like, 12 years ago, Kris, this was me. Just like, so I would just was so eager to like learn anything that anyone wanted to teach me. And, um, that, that was like that experience. And then like, I went home and like, didn't have sex, didn't have sex, didn't do like, it's not like he did anything. He didn't like jerk off while we watched, like nothing. It was just like us watching. We, Picked like a 12-minute video and I was like, wow, this is like, okay, this is what porn is now. I know. And that was that. Like, I don't even know, like, I didn't feel uncomfortable. It didn't like, he didn't make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe just because I chose not to feel uncomfortable. I was just like, okay, thank you so much for that. And that's that. How that was. I mean, not much older than me. I think he was like 24. He wasn't, he wasn't super old, but, um, God, I just, I guess Craigslist, right?

What? Of course you were just like, yeah, no biggie.

Uh, I'm like, how bizarre would that be if that shit were to happen now? Like if I were dating and some dude like said that now, I would be like, you weird-ass psycho. But at that point, I think just because I mean, you're like, I have no idea. I had no idea like about the world. Like I was like, yeah, actually I am kind of interested in what porn is. And I mean, sure, I guess I'll like, whatever. And he was just like, only like if you want, like, he was just like very like No big deal. And I was like, okay, yeah, sure. But yeah, just thinking about, about Craigslist and Tinder. You never used Tinder, did you? Did you, did you use a dating app?

At one point in LA, but not for me.

I would go on there with Alyssa and just swipe, swipe, hate, hate, double hate. Um, yeah.

There's so many now. Like how many are there?

There's so many. There's so many. Yeah. You can't, you can't get through. But in South Dakota, there's really not that many to get through. Like not many to, you just like circle back through. I think they like upload a new pic and then you're back, you're back to the beginning. But, um, Before, before Kurt and I ended up dating and getting together, I was living with my girlfriend Erin, and she was like, we should, you should help me like with Tinder. And I was like, yeah, that sounds like fun. And we like swapped phones and she did, she did mine. And she like changed the age restrictions from like 18 to whatever age. And there was a super cute 18-year-old. Uh, oh my God, boy that had like gotten into college at the local college or whatever. And, um, she was like, she was like, this could be really fun for you. Like, you're like the, you're like the older woman now. I was like, I'm fucking 25. Like, I'm not that old, but sure, I guess. Like an 18-year-old. Like, I remember thinking that like when I was 18. Like an older guy being like 25, 26.

I was like, damn, definitely 30 old at that point.

And you're like, oh my God, 30 was so fucking old. Like, I remember being like, holy shit, I don't know about 30. And now I'm 32, just thinking back to like, I don't know, all of, all of those ages, or turning 25 in LA.

Um, That was— that's still— I have to upload— I have to change it, but that's still your picture on my phone, the mohawk of you and the mohawk.

When you call me, it's like, that photo is the best because it looks like it's my mohawk. I know, that's what's so great about it. I loved that guy.

Yeah, you're not staying with him. Let's go.

Did I also find him on Craigslist? Oh my God, that was a really, really great trip.

That was so fun. The drag show, everything was so fun. You're doing like your workout stuff on the beach, showing everyone my workout stuff.

I did like one thing and you got a really great picture of it.

It.

That was really nice. No, that was a super fun time. We tried to hook Alyssa up with that waiter, remember? God, he was cute too.

He was too, man.

She was like, he talked about his mom a lot. I was like, oh God, what else is there to talk about?

Fuck if I know. I don't know, man.

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