Part 1: Laid Off

I'm Paul Shipper. I'm from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I'm a storyteller, a civil rights activist, and a photographer. Right now, the South Dakota Penitentiary System does not have a pen pal program, but the studies show that recidivism drops when inmates are writing letters back and forth to someone, and it's because they may not have a connection to inside the prison and having that connection outside motivates them to do better. And I feel like that's the little thing that I can do, like the one thing that I can accomplish, you know, and hopefully other people are working on other things and this will be my change to carve out. You can end up in the, in the system and then be relegated to a second-class citizen and That, to me, is terrifying for anyone to have to deal with. I don't believe that we should judge someone by the worst thing that they've done. We shouldn't tell just that story. I have a voice where they no longer have a voice, and I don't want to tell their story, but I want to offer my resources and my abilities to give them the chance to change the situation. Situation that they're in. So I recognize that I have a responsibility as someone that is capable of making change to help make that change.

Welcome to my podcast, The Girl with the Red Door. I'm Kristjana Hillberg, your host.

Here you'll get to listen to stories from people who divulge real and raw experiences on all different topics.

You get 9 lives on your journey here on Earth.

Which one are you living?

Happy Monday! This week was insanely busy and it feels like I still haven't caught my breath. My mom was here visiting. We drove across the state from Sioux Falls back to Rapid. We got stuck in some snow, and I still feel like we need an extra day between Saturday and Sunday for rest and recoup. But I did wanna share some awesome things that happened this week. So my best friend and I have been sending voice texts every day about what we're thankful for, and that has been refreshing and so fun. I recommend doing it if you're not already. I also got to brunch with my mom at my favorite place, which was so nice to just chat and enjoy some coffee and pancakes. And also I received an unexpected call from another best friend, which warmed my heart. And I'm also— oh my gosh, I totally forgot about this. Well, kind of. Um, I was brought on as the community manager for Boss Women Community. I will tell you more about it later. Um, but yeah, so that's happened in this last week, and if you aren't following them already on Instagram, go and do it. But back to the reason we are all here. My guest today is Paul Shipper, and I met him through a badass acrobat named Ellen. We both have a love for flying in the air. She is super talented and opened up her own, uh, Cirque studio in Sioux Falls. And I had seen Paul doing some photography for her, and they fell in love. And I just kind of, um, she actually stayed at my house for a little bit during a transition period. And, uh, so I met Paul because he of course came and helped her and moved some stuff in and out. And so yeah, I got to know both them and think they are both lovely. So about, I don't know, like a week ago, I saw that Paul posted on Facebook asking if any of his friends had a podcast. And so I immediately reached out and was like, hey, hi, hello, I do, like, be a guest, absolutely, I would love to have you on the show, let's chit-chat. So we set up a date and time and we just got to connect and talk about some things that I'm really passionate about, like remote work and obviously podcasting. So it was a great convo. Paul also, as you heard on the beginning of the podcast, is doing a— he's setting up a really rad pen pal program for inmates. So you should definitely go check out his Patreon page, which I put the link in the show notes. So after you're done listening, click on the link below and it will take you over and just kind of explain a little bit more about it. Uh, but for now, here's Paul.

That's actually kind of what I want my podcast to be about. Um, is, you know, we kind of throw these things out into the void, uh, me especially, where I'm like, hey, does anybody know where I can get this thing? Hey, does anybody need something like this today? Hey, you know, like just throwing it out there, and if, if somebody picks up on it, great. Um, I kind of want to expand that to all of Sioux Falls, and so where my head is at is like, huh, I wonder if, you know, there's A lot of the time people want to be top dog, like, no, I want it to be my idea. No, I want it to be like I'm in charge, uh, you know, that sort of thing. But I'm more of a— I like to be a support, you know, kind of a cheerleader where it's like, hey, can I connect you to someone that can fulfill your needs, you know? And like, let's collaborate. Like, we'll accomplish more together than we will as like 20 top dogs in a small town, you know. So I'm kind of thinking like it'd be very interesting to say like, oh hey, I've got, uh, you know, Adam White on my podcast today. He's looking for a 6-foot-4 Black male for his, uh, uh, you know, narrative piece that he wants to, to shoot, you know. And just like help people get connected with the people that they need that they might not know. And just almost treat it like an advertising podcast for work collaboration, you know?

I love that idea. I've like never heard of that and I think it's awesome. It's kind of like a Craigslist—

Exactly. —marketplace podcast, which is so awesome. Like obviously Craigslist exists, Facebook Marketplace exists. There's definitely like Facebook groups that like, you know, hey, we're looking for talent for XYZ and that sort of thing. But like, I think if, not to brag, but like I do know a lot of people, like a lot, or a lot of people know me, you know? So I'm not necessarily positive that I would get a lot of listeners necessarily, but if I brought on other people that are like very well connected and they were to share their podcasts and say like, hey, Paul is helping me talk about my Kickstarter today. Listen to this funny podcast about us, you know, connecting and that sort of thing.

I love that. That's such a good idea.

I'm glad you think so.

There's just so much out in the world that's just incredible stuff. It's just like finding it and giving, you know, it gives you that creative— yeah, it's awesome. We live in such a great society. I feel like even though there's like good and bad to it, but I'm just like, you know, for the most part It's like really awesome. Oh yeah, definitely.

I'm a, I'm a like, we live in the future kind of guy where it's like, this is so cool. Like we can, we can pick up a phone and have a podcast right now without us. I'm, I'm, I am wearing pants, but you know, I'm not like fully dressed. I'm not, you know, like my hair is a mess and stuff like that. Like it doesn't have to be a big deal. And I think that's super cool.

So. Right. You still get that connection without having to be in the same room with someone. Absolutely. It's awesome. We all want that connection. We want to be able to share our story and talk. And I think once we open up and share it, it's kind of like a big weight off of our chest. Yeah. So I'm like, you know what? I want to give that to people and I can. I think you do. I'll take that time.

I think a lot of people get hung up on like, I need to do something great. And I've really been focusing on incremental things in my life. Uh, yeah, I, I got married in October of 2018, uh, to Ellen, my lovely partner. She, um, we've been together for almost 2 years now. Um, and you know, like, that doesn't seem like a long time to be married, but we were friends for 2 years before that. And, uh, I mean, we, we built a connection that was strong and easy, and it just felt like the right time. And we eloped, which, uh, my parents hated. Uh, you know, we, we went out to the Rockies and it was gorgeous, and the whole day was just about us. It was the officiant, the videographer, and the photographer, and us on top of a mountain. Like, I shoot weddings, uh, I shoot wedding photography, and most of the weddings that I go to are really stressful for the bride. And like, it's all about your guests, and it's, it's, it's just really not about what I think marriage should be about, you know. Oh, totally. So I was really, um, into the idea of eloping and really into the idea of just going somewhere where no one could be offended that they weren't invited because it was too far away for either of our families to attend. And, you know, so that was really great. Um, I actually just got laid off last week, uh, so that's big. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

So how did they— like, how did they even go about that? And it was really interesting actually.

Yeah, no. Um, so in August, uh, so I worked for a marketing, uh, production house place making commercials, and they have— they're called account executives, and they're the people that like talk to the clients and say, okay, what kind of commercial do you want, yada yada. So this account executive in August left the company. He'd been there for like 28 years, something like that, and took like 60% of their clients and started his own production house. And They were like, okay, uh, we need to get more clients. And some time went by and they just couldn't do it. And so they decided to downsize half of my department. Um, I was probably the most expensive person in the department, so it made sense that they cut me. Um, and then they cut another individual and no, it was Monday, which was weird. I always think of getting fired on Fridays. Right. You know, I guess they made it very clear that I wasn't being fired, that it wasn't about my performance. And I was like, well, that's nice, but I still don't have a job. So thank you.

But yeah, but no thanks.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So and it was like, it was like 4:30. Somebody just peeked their head into my office and said, hey, can you come to the conference room? And completely blindsided me, like, just like, hey, today's going to be your last day. We just want to let you know, yada yada. I was like, oh, like you couldn't have told me that 2 weeks ago? Like I could have been planning, I could have been, you know, cleaning up my area, you know, like give me the— like, like you expect employees to give you 2 weeks notice when they're quitting. Like why wouldn't you give me 2 weeks to get my affairs in order?

Exactly. That's kind of just like a punch to the gut to be like, oh, sure, now what? I don't—

I can't even imagine. Well, you know, so this is kind of what I want to talk about though. Um, You know, everybody is like scared and worried for me and stuff like that. And I gotta tell you, like, I have never been happier. Um, I've, I've been unemployed for almost, uh, 3 weeks now. Um, and I wake up, you know, at a reasonable hour. I do house projects, I do freelance work, um, and my time is my own. So like I can run errands when I want to, I can shuffle my schedule when I want to. Um, I can hop on podcasts when I want to, you know? Hell yeah. So I understand that a lot of people are treating it like a break or a sabbatical or something like that. And I get that. Um, but honestly, if I could find a way to not exactly be self-employed, but at least, you know, make enough money that I don't need to get another full-time job here soon, that would really be ideal.

Hey everybody, this is Maya from The MW Projects. I hope you all had a good holiday and a great start to the new year. Just wanted to hop on here quick and let you know that the shop is back open and ready for new orders. So definitely reach out and let's get connected. Now let's get back to the episode.

Like, I want to see how long I can keep this floating. Um, and about the only thing that's, um, holding me back is the idea of health insurance. And so that's a real— that's a real bummer because, uh, if you have a lapse in health insurance, they don't— you get charged, right? Isn't it like a fee? Yeah, and then, and then it's hard to get it, uh, once you get a new job. And, you know, I don't want to get started on that, but like, I'm a big universal healthcare guy. Like, I, I want to move to Canada so that I can be self-employed, you know, because that's the one thing that's holding me back. I can, I can make enough money to pay my rent and feed my family, but I can't really make enough money in Sioux Falls to pay for health insurance as well. So it's like the barrier to me living my best life is something that I have very little control over and is very financial-based. And I think that's, I think that's really sad. Um, I think that's unfortunate that, you know, we, we created this system that works for some people but doesn't work for most people.

And so I'm right there with you. I— so that when this— whenever this topic comes up, I feel like it's just like my heart hurts because I literally feel like I can feel the stress of other people feeling. I just— yeah, I can't even like describe what it feels like, but I, I'm completely there with you. I feel like the people who really like work their asses off, who need it, right? Can't— it's not attainable. And it's just absolutely— it's complete bullshit. So I totally understand. But I feel like we were totally meant to talk because my last episode was about remote work. Because yes, and I'm working on that. Yeah. And like we talked about earlier, like, we live in this day and age where seriously, like, remote work in 20 years is probably going to be like 80, 85% of people. Like, People are realizing that corporate life sucks. Absolutely. And that working remotely is literally like, it can change your life. Like you— 100%. Even just you talking about the last 3 weeks, I mean, this huge weight has been lifted off your shoulder. It was like a silver lining almost. Absolutely. Because now you can like, you can breathe.

I, I have, um, a very nice home setup. Computer-wise. I can— I have all my own gear. I can record, I can edit, I can, you know, deliver to a client very easily. And I've been doing it for years with my wedding photography, so why wouldn't I just translate that to videography? Like, it's very simple. So at my previous job, I was proposing that left and right, like, hey, Not entirely, but like, there are a lot of projects here that I could do from my couch. Like, you should allow me that opportunity. Um, and I just don't think that it's a popular idea in Sioux Falls right now, or South Dakota at large, where employers are like, if I can't know that you're in the building, I have no idea if you're working. Like, there's no trust. Like, they don't feel like They feel like if you're working from home, you're probably just goofing off and stuff like that. But the reality of it is, is I'm more likely to pound through my, my work and get it done and get it done well so that I can afford to, you know, goof off at that point. Um, and so I actually, I had an interview on Friday, um, at another production house, and it felt like I was getting out of one hole and into another. And I just said like, hey, you know, can you let me schedule myself? Can you let me work remotely? Can you let me do any of this? And they're just like, no, like we don't offer any of that stuff. And I'm like, I know you don't offer any of it. That's why I'm asking, like, how can we facilitate this? And I actually just, I'm doing a little bit of side work for another media company and I'm having kind of a similar conversation with them. These people are a little more receptive to it. So I'm doing like real estate photos for them. And so I'm like, look, I don't wanna sit in an office. I have attention deficit disorder. I'm not good at staying on task when I have to hear 6 other people's jobs happening around me, you know. And so I said, hey, let me go to these houses, take the pictures, go home, edit them, get them to you by the end of the day. And how is that any different than if I were to do it at an office? You know, if I'm delivering the product— that's my whole thing, is like, you can tell that I got the work done because I gave you the work. If I'm constantly meeting your deadlines and delivering quality product, then what's the big deal? So they're being a little more receptive to that, and I think that's great. But yeah, I'm, I'm just trying to put off full-time employment as long as possible, which, you know, I'm not gonna lie, Ellen is a little stressed out about, uh, because we do need health insurance, but Well, yeah, I know figuring that out is gonna be interesting. So, but I would rather—

I've noticed— oh, sorry. I've noticed too that like the, the coasts are way more— yes, yeah, about like they've totally embraced the remote lifestyle. I— have you ever heard of AngelList? So it's basically this website that's just like full of brand new startups and they're looking, you know, to hire people, and you can choose one of the options. It's like remote, remote work or whatever. And there are literally hundreds of companies in like San Fran and New York that are, that are hiring remotely, and they're already like established companies, some of them, who offer insurance as well. You know, like they're like, we pay 401k, we have all of this, but guess what? You get to work from your house. There's no set hours. You deliver, just like we were talking about, you deliver your stuff. As long as it's in, like, you're good to go. We don't, we don't care if you work 5 hours. We don't care if you work 30 hours. We don't care if you're in Bali. You just get your shit done and you're good to go.

See, that's the thing is this, this company that I turned down last week, they, they pay salary. And so the expectation is during the busy time, like you're going to be pulling 12, 14, 12 to 14 hour days. But then conversely, during the slow time, you're still expected to be there for 8 hours a day and fill the time. And I think that's bogus because I would totally work, you know, 4 14-hour days in a row if it meant like the next 4 days I got off. Like, that is totally fine with me. Right. But it's that, that lack of respect for my time. And that's, that's something that I'm really realizing is that my time is so valuable to me. That I'm not willing to sell my time or my soul to these people that think I'm replaceable.

Have you felt yourself at all slipping into worrying or a sadness or any of that? Or has this been a super happy kind of awakening?

It's kind of both. I'm a pretty pragmatic person, I think. I'm also an idealist though. So like, I'm, I'm definitely not feeling worried. There is like a little in the back of my head, like, okay, what's going to happen when we reach this point? You know, but largely where my head is at is just like, I'm living day to day and it's great. And, you know, I'm getting stuff done. I'm accomplishing tasks that have been behind forever, you know, and So I'm not, I'm not, I'm definitely not going to say that it's all sunshine and rainbows, but it's, it's, I don't have time to worry because I'm working too hard on things that are making me happy. Right. I love that.

As you can hear, we both think that everyone needs to quit their 9 to 5. Once you get a taste of the freedom, you won't want to go back. Tune in next week for the rest of the discussion. I promise you won't want to miss it. Also, come on, I have told you for weeks now how much I love and appreciate you. Reciprocate that love. Leave a review on iTunes. It literally takes less than 2 minutes. Do it while you're pooping or waiting in line at the bank. It helps get the podcast out to the world so others can enjoy it as much as you do. I wanted to remind you that you can help support the podcast. It's kind of like a monthly subscription. It helps me purchase quality recording equipment so I can keep bringing you amazing guests with great content. If you decide that's something you want to do, it's totally optional. You can go to the Anchor app and click support. Easy peasy. Have a great week. Thank God football is almost over. Sorry, Kurt. Love you. I'm out.