Part 1: Raymond the Reiki Master

Welcome to my podcast, The Girl with the Red Door. I'm Kristjana, your host. Kristjana. Yikes. Kristjana. And yes, it's Dutch. I know it's hard to say. Try it anyway. I won't judge ya. On my podcast, people share real and raw experiences. They're from all different walks of life. I like to be the catalyst to give people a voice. We don't have time to bullshit, so here we go. So a few months ago, I was working for this woman who introduced me to our next guest. From the day that I met him via Skype, he has become one of my absolute favorite favorite people. Obviously we don't see each other in real life all the time. He is in the Big Apple, and I love watching all of his posts and all of the, the fun things that he does and the amazing experiences he is having. Talk about somebody who makes you feel like sunshine— Raymond is that person.

Hello, hello!

You can hear me good?

I, I can hear you beautifully. Can you hear me?

Yes, it's perfect.

Awesome. And I'm joining you from the live Brooklyn, New York City streets with the cars honking.

I love it.

I can't hear anything.

Yes, well, just get ready. If, if it's too much New York City realness, I'll close my window.

No, I love that. I feel like it's the perfect background for like the hustle and bustle of Christmas season.

And then I have my, my fish tank and the waterfall in the back to give you a little bit of Fern Gully. My meditation, my little oasis in New York City.

Yes, absolutely. So what have you been doing today? Have you been busy?

Oh my gosh, okay. First off, thank you for having me, and today has been amazing. I went to bed at 3:30 in the morning moving all kind of stuff in my kitchen and bathroom because my landlord is putting in new floors in the kitchen and bathroom. So Christmas is coming early.

Yes, seriously.

And then, um, so I was moving all that stuff, and then I sing professionally at a church in Brooklyn, so I had to get there and get ready to sing by 9 AM. But it was just such an amazing day. I've just— you know when you're just like really in a positive place?

Yes.

And I feel like you can really just give yourself energy. I don't think people realize just how powerful being positive is, you know. It's like you, you just, you become a channel for positive energy. It's really, really powerful.

I know, I love that.

Yeah, so I was just kind of sending, you know, positive vibes while I was singing it. It's really beautiful music that I sing at this church, St. Boniface in Brooklyn.

Yeah.

And so I was just kind of sending it to people that that were needing some boosts and people that were ill and all that stuff, and just kind of dedicating the music to them. And this— I have like this team of old ladies that I always, um, help, you know, at the reception after church. Like, I help them get their bagel, you know, they have their little walkers.

Yeah.

So, uh, this one lady in particular, Gloria, she's like, get me some fruit, get me some bagels. She's always like, oh no, I can't have too many sweets, but then asks to get her a second plate. Yeah, so I always, I always play along, like, you know, oh yeah, are you sure? So Kristjana Hillberg, today they're saying, oh, there's a, what was it, a raffle going on, right, for the church and this. And I said, okay, let's see. So they had these raffles. Well, I just babysat my niece, who is a character. Right? She calls me Uncle Rara, and she thinks I'm a prince. So she's got a rude awakening. She's like, I asked my sister, why does she think I'm a prince? She said, she said, because you're so kind and beautiful. I was like, oh my word, God bless the children, right? So she just has this new, um, while I was babysitting her, she was all about this PJ Masks this, this cartoon that's on where there's like a Catboy and an Owlette. So anyways, I'm looking at the baskets, the raffle, and there was one for ages 3 to 5, and it had PJ Masks and puzzles and all of these things.

So naturally you had to sign up.

Yeah, Kristjana Hillberg, I got 2 tickets, and I'm asking the old lady, should I go in for this, or should I go in for the Italian thing too that has the wine and the pasta. So I said, I'm doubling down, all or nothing. So I put it in for the children's basket. Yeah, I caused such a scene, you know. Everybody's quietly eating their bagel, and I have all the old ladies that I help get, you know, their, their bagels and everything, and I'm saying, come on, it's time to manifest, pray, you know, that I'm gonna win. Do you know I won the basket?

Of course you did.

And I am screaming like I won a new car. I always thought I should have been on The Price is Right, but anyways, it's never too late. And then on the way home, and this is, you know, I say this because I've had a few hours of sleep, but I just was so charged. This, I got the basket and, you know, I have an Instagram. Loving Rays, R-A-Y-Z, that I'm about positive mind-body-spirit connection. And there is this woman with the MTA that is just— she has this smile that is just incredible. She is the sweetest woman, and her name is Barbara. And she just, you know, these people that just smile from their hearts, like— it makes such a difference.

Yes.

You can feel it.

Yes, as soon as you see it, you're like— your whole body just—

Yes. There's not this tightness. And she is just this voluptuous, older Black woman, you know, with this gap in between her teeth. And she is just sending all kind of love. So I had run into her outside of the subway. And she was like, is that Raymond? I was like, Barbara, oh my gosh. And I stopped, we had this amazing conversation. And she said, I just want to let you know, every time I see you, you just make my day. She was like, it's just— and it's so funny because I always feel that she makes my day, right? So I ended up taking a picture with her. And I said, you know what, she's going to be on my Instagram. And I did this little blurb about how she's just always oozing positivity and she's just— she has a smile that could light up a Christmas tree.

And yes, I remember seeing this post. She was okay.

So you guys—

I thought, okay, so you saw the post because you follow me on Instagram. Yeah, Kristjana— I run into her with my giant basket that I won today, and she saw the post on Instagram and she was bawling, bawling. And she was like, you know, in the intercom, people are waiting to like get a subway pass.

Yeah.

And she is yelling, half crying, "God bless you, baby! God bless you!" And I was like, yes, I got the daily jackpot today. But it's just about being and like allowing yourself to be a channel for positivity.

Yes, and that's exactly what you are. Every single time I've ever talked to you, I have that smile, the smile that just lights up. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so—

I know, the first time I, I remember we were just cracking up on Skype. Yes, laughing. But you know, I feel like that's what life is about. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So I'm so excited to be one of your guests for your podcast. I love supporting anything positive. And, you know, I think that we just need more of that. We need— people get so bogged down watching the news and the same this and that, and the world is actually full of so many amazing, incredible things. There's so many Barbaras out there. You know, but everything on blast is like the violence, the shootings and this and that. And, you know, I really feel that we need to focus our energy and harness our energy more on what we want and good. You know?

Yeah, I completely agree. And just like you were talking about earlier, the more that you spread love, it just attracts more love. And I, I really do feel like the pay it forward, thinking about that, that is so, so real. Like, if somebody smiles at me and is like, girl, I love your outfit today, yeah, I love your outfit, I'm killing it, I'm gonna tell 28 people that I love, you know, what I love about them, and it just— the whole vibe for the day just changes.

It is. And you know what it is? Like, even you saying that, I feel energetically, it's just when we are like that channel for love and like positivity. We open doors and we realize, oh my gosh, we're all connected. Like, you know, we get so into the hustle and bustle and like, keep my head down. Oh, I don't know that person, that's not my friend or a family member. We're all connected. And when someone like sends you that like baton of positivity, it's so contagious. It's like your body— our bodies crave it. You Before you even know what happens, you're like, I'm in the relay, I'm picking up the baton and I'm paying it forward, you know?

Yes, that is such a good analogy to think of it like that because that's how it feels.

Absolutely. And, and, you know, I know we've had this conversation, you know, on the phone call. I really believe that, you know, energy period is contagious. So it's like, do you want to— do you, do you want to pay love forward or do you want to pay fear forward? You know, because energy spreads. You know, what we put our mind to is, is where our energy goes. So why not pick up that baton of positivity? You know, it feels so much better.

Exactly. And I really love to, to think about yourself and think about you can't control others around you, but you can control yourself. And so you can ask yourself what type of energy What am I bringing into this situation? And you, as long as you think, okay, even if I'm having kind of a sad day, I can still show up and still love and still love unconditionally.

Absolutely. And you know what I feel that, you know, people get hung up on is with the whole, you know, manifestation thing. They think that they have to be in this super positive mindset. If you're in a state of sadness, honor that sadness. The fact that you are honoring where you're at and wanting to vibrate in a higher frequency, wanting to, from that state of truth, um, just kind of be in a positive, um, be in a positive light, you open windows, you open doors, you know what I mean?

Yes. Well, and like we were talking about the other day, Even just you speaking your truth and having your voice, you light somebody else's flame. So even if at the time you're thinking, gosh, I feel so vulnerable, but I'm going to speak my truth and I'm just going to say it, then there's probably 10 other people who are just praising you internally because you just lit a flame for them.

And that's exactly what it is. And I love that, that you're saying this because Two things. I mean, there's a million things that I love about what you just said, but two major things. One, when people are their authentic selves, we all bring something incredible to the table. We all are born with these unique colors. You know, if you think of like a Crayola box or something, and when we have the courage to just honor and and share those colors. That's where creativity comes from. That's where our expression of love begins to flow.

Yes.

And the other thing, energy has its own language. So, you know, I, you know, I feel everyone has the capability to be intuitive, you know, and as an intuitive person that can see, hear, and feel energy. I can feel when somebody is in their truth, when somebody is in their authenticity. Like you said, it lights a torch and it gives everyone permission around them. It's like this beautiful vortex of love and courage that starts to spiral around and it's like, hey, you can stand in your truth too. You don't have to say it because just Embodying that truth gives other people permission.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, that's so true.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's amazing. And it's so exciting to see, you know, I really feel this is such an exciting time to be alive because I feel like it's just getting harder and harder to fake it.

Oh yeah, I would agree. And it really is incredible to think that technology has come so far to where you can make an Instagram video or a Facebook video and people from all over the world can tune in. And it's just, it's incredible that you can share your message and you know that somebody is going to hear you and, and be touched by that.

Yes, absolutely. And again, that's like looking at the positivity of technology. You know, technology can unite us. Technology can bring us together and light that torch of positivity. You know, it is really an exciting time, I think, to be alive. And as far as we are advanced, it's just more and more of like reminders that I feel, you know, as a, as a healer too, it's like we need to remind each other that we are human and we need to connect. And we also need to put the technology down sometimes and actually have a conversation with someone in person. And that, you know, I call it true intimacy. Oh yes. You know, it's— that's something that I do think, you know, as we're talking about technology, is people are really hungry for true intimacy. You know, this whole— everybody is like on their dating apps and this and that and trying to take the picture of the most flattering. Beauty comes from the inside, and when you like own you're, you know, I call it when I work with my clients, I call it, you know, I talk about the internal reflecting the external. But when you know that you are, like, when you embrace your authenticity, like what we were talking about earlier, or, you know, just your love, all your unique Crayola colors that you bring to the table, it's such a, it's not an egoic confidence. It's a true confidence, you know, and people just feel that. And it's so exciting to see more and more people stepping out of the external and into themselves. You know what I mean?

Oh yeah. And you know what brings to mind is, have you ever met the type of person who, when they see you and talk to you, they make you feel like you are their absolute favorite person in the whole world and they are just so excited to see you and hear about you? And I'm like, I— that is just my goal. If I can make every single person that I come in contact with feel like— I've been thinking about Barbara, like, being like, "Oh my gosh, go, I love you." Yes. I'm just like, what an incredible thing to give to a fellow human, to make them feel so special.

And, you know, I really feel we all have that capability because for me, that comes from being present. That comes from being in a state of presence. Because I believe when you're in a state of presence, there's a sense of lightness, there's a sense of ease, there's a sense of joy, there's a sense of flow. So you naturally just soak up every beautiful second of that opportunity that's coming. So if you're talking to someone at that moment, you are really in that moment. And it's so— I mean, being present is— that's where all the magic is.

Yeah.

And I also feel, you know, being present comes with a sense of vulnerability. And that is also part of it. You know, when, when you are present, there's a sense of openness, there's a sense of vulnerability that anything can happen. You're so open, there's not a sense of manipulation of trying to control someone or the conversation, or, oh my gosh, I gotta do this, I gotta cook, I gotta pick up the kids, and you're just so open. And the universe just is like, comes down and gives you like this hug, you know, it's like an energetic hug. You know? Yes. And then you run into Barbaras all over the place that, you know, I tell you, sometimes I'm like, come on, Barbara, I gained 5 pounds and she's like, looking good, baby. I'm like, okay, bless you.

Right. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much.

I don't know if she's in a state of presence or if she needs glasses, but I love her.

Either way. Either way. Love Barbara.

Love Barbara. Hashtag Barbara.

Yes, absolutely. We're going to start using that. All right, let's talk a little bit about Reiki because you just got into Reiki just in the last year, right?

Yeah, it's been— let's see, yeah, it was last— so I had my third eye opened up from an intense, um, meditation. You know, I had had someone from a yoga class say, do you really want to change your life? And I was like, really? Yoga was really becoming a part of my, um, practice. You know, I'm all about— I feel like there's, you know, mind-body-spirit connection balance, right? And so this guy said, if you really want to change your life, um, I highly recommend meditating. And I'm like, okay, so He told me, you know, there's apps, and now there's so many apps. I'm a huge fan of Insight Timer, um, I-N-S-I-G-H-T and then Timer, T-I-M-E-R. And most of the, um, the offerings on there are free, and they have silent meditations and guided meditations. And he said, you know, I recommend you doing it 20 minutes a day. So when, Kristjana, when I started 3 minutes felt like 3 hours.

Oh yes, I know how that feels.

Yeah, I don't know, do you meditate?

No, I've tried and I feel like I get to 3 minutes and I'm like, okay.

I guarantee you, if you stick with it, you will, there will be a day that comes that all of a sudden you go beyond that hurdle, beyond that I, you know, it took me weeks. And then I remember this moment, all of a sudden, this intense calm came over me. And I felt like the bottom of like, like the seat, I was sitting, you know, in my living room meditating. And all of a sudden, I felt like I was floating, like I didn't know where I had no idea. I felt like I was suspended. And I went I went somewhere so internally deep that it was incredibly exciting and scary at the same time. And wow, I just started to like chase that feeling. I mean, it was such an intense feeling of, um, the divine, God, universe, you know, whatever you want to call it. It was just— I was like, whoa, I'm in the presence of something very, very powerful. And then, you know, I kept meditating every day, and then, you know, I didn't feel it. Then I would feel it for 20 seconds, a minute, 2 minutes. And then one day I just felt this energy, like, in my room, and it asked me, do you really want to sing? Do you really want to do this stuff? And, you know, like so many people in, in New York City, and I think in general, I was doing what I needed to in order to pay the bills. You know, I had, you know, I was singing, and when I didn't have gigs, I was working in restaurants and this and that. But I just was having this feeling of like, what do I really want to do? What, what are, what are like my Crayola colors that I'm not tapping into, right?

Yeah.

And I just felt, you know, I've always had this connection with people and loved people. And so I was a very good server and anything around people. And I was like, what am I not doing? You know, and I just like really started to pray about it and like, okay, I am open for, for like what I'm supposed to be doing, right? Well, be careful what you pray for, right? Because I tell you, this energy literally cracked like an egg on my, my forehead, and I just felt like this spiritual yolk, like, just dripping down. And I was like vibrating at such a high frequency, um, and I didn't realize at the time, but it was like my third eye opened. So I was trying to explain, you know, how I was feeling, and I just started just intuitively feeling you know, blocks in people and just, you know, oh gosh, this person is like going through a really sad time, they lost someone, and I couldn't explain it. I just had this intuitive knowing that intensified. And so I ended up going into Reiki because I had heard a lot of people tell me that Reiki really helps you to kind of hone in that energy.

Okay.

It's like if you think of chi, we all have our like personal chi, our personal energy. And when you go into Reiki, Reiki is, is a way of helping you to tap into like the universal chi. So not just your resources, but the air, the plants, water, you know, all these living things around you. So you don't deplete your resources, if that makes sense.

Okay, yeah.

And so then I did, um, I got my Reiki certificate at Minka Institute in Brooklyn, and I remember doing the, you know, we were doing like, you have to, you know, do Reiki trials on people and this, and one of my Reiki masters said, why, why are your hands so far away from the, the girl that we were doing like the demonstration on her head? And I said, well, you said to, to go with your gut, and I was feeling like this cushiony energy that was farther away. And, you know, we were being trained to be very close to the head, and you have different positions, you know, to help balance out parts of the body and this and that. And she was like, 'You're psychic.' And I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because that, that was always such a, um, a loaded word in my family. And I think to a certain degree it still is, you know. It's kind of like a, a dirty word, you know. I remember asking my grandma if, if, you know, she was psychic because she would read faces. My Lebanese-Jamaican grandmother.

Yeah.

And, you know, 5 feet tall And she'd be at, you know, it would be like time to vote, and I would say like, "Grandma, who are you voting for?" And she's like, "Him have an honest face. This one a lying teeth." And I'm like, "Grandma, what are you— you don't know this politician." "Me just know, me see the face." And I'm like, "Oh my God, Grandma, really?" And I asked her if she was psychic, and she slapped me. You know, it was like, that's— that is not from God. And it was this whole thing about it. So I think, you know, that's another exciting thing about being in this time, uh, bringing awareness. And it's not, you know, some people ignorantly think of a psychic like, you know, at a fair with a crystal ball and, right, tell you your fortune and you're going to win the lottery and this and that. But, you know, it's another— it's, it's just another tool. It's another language. And I discovered that I'm a psychic empath, so I can feel blocks in people's body. And so I would feel, you know, when I work with clients and this, and through doing the Reiki, I ask people questions and how they want to feel, like what they want in their life and how the emotion attached to it, which is so important because so many people are seeking— they're seeking validation externally, and it all goes back to the internal reflecting the external. Yes. You know, I ask people, and it's so telling for me, you know, in a compassionate way. It's not like, oh, what are these people? Because we all, you know, have different stories. We all have different experiences. And I have clients that are like, I want to have a relationship. And I say, okay, what's the emotion attached to that? Oh, I'll feel complete. I will feel full. And I say, okay, so you want to feel full. That's actually something that you can feel by yourself. Already, and then attract someone that is just gonna honor that, and you create something beautiful together. But you can't depend on someone to complete you. You know what I mean?

Right. Yeah, absolutely.

So it's, it's just been so exciting with this journey, you know, and, you know, my holistic practice has just really been, been spreading word of mouth with this. So I'll ask them questions like this. And then I I asked them what they want to shed. And so physical, emotional, and if I, if they tell me, you know, oh, I have a lot of stomach issues. That's like, I'll energetically feel a lot of people that have like stomach issues. There's attachments to guilt and shame. And it's like they're carrying this kind of guilt and shame or, or people that have a lot of shoulder problems. It's like carrying things that's not yours to carry too much. A lot of times that's people that overly give and have trouble receiving. And so I get these different senses and these different feelings that I kind of tie this all into this really beautiful energetic conversation. And I focus on my whole practice is about taking the conditions off, because I feel life is all about unconditional love. I think that's why we're here, to express love. And through life, as we go deeper, as we have the courage to go deeper and, and really explore relationships with ourselves and relationships with love, which the love umbrella is all of those feel-good words—peace, compassion, kindness, stillness, joy, passion, laughter. You know, as we begin to dance with all of these different expressions of love, we start to have the courage to take more and more conditions off of love. And it's so exciting because unconditional love is unconditional, so there's no conditions, and it's just this beautiful, exciting journey if we take responsibility for our lives and just dive into this exciting world because it really is exciting. And I think it's meant to be enjoyed and shared. Yes, yes. Amen.

I completely agree. And I think that you had mentioned earlier, feeling like letting yourself just feel so even though you are having a sad day, or I mean, obviously not all of us are going to be happy and peaceful and joyful all the time. I mean, but I think it's the knowing and the being present of being like, okay, I can feel that I'm sad. We're going to move past, we're going to feel it. And then we're going to just put love in there. We're going to get down to the core and figure it out. And I think that it took me a long time to realize that, like, into my late 20s, even just a couple years ago, to, to really give unconditional love out and also to myself. Isn't Raymond totally delightful? Lucky for you, we talked for a long time, so you get 2 parts of us chatting. So you get today, which is part 1, and then next Monday, Christmas Eve, you'll get the second part. So while you're baking or running around doing last-minute errands, you can listen to that, which I'm sure you will just love. Also, just as a reminder, check out MW Projects for your last-minute gift ideas. I know she has some new merch out on the website as well as the "I don't like to bullshit" mug, which all of you need. Let's hear from Maya and see what she's been up to.

What's up everybody? This is Maya from The MW Projects wishing you all a happy holiday. I wanted to give you a quick update and let you know that Kristjana Hillberg and I have a We've officially teamed up and I now stock the I Don't Like to Bullshit mug. You can check that out on my Etsy page, and on there you will also find Christmas ornaments, Christmas ornament sets, mugs, and new weaves that make great Christmas gifts for the people in your lives or for you. And remember, if you like something that you see but want it tweaked, let me know. I do custom orders too. And if you need additional information, you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Etsy. Me on Etsy as The MW Projects, and let's get connected. But for now, Merry Christmas, and let's get back to the rest of the podcast.

I'm so glad you tuned in today. I hope this next week is merry and bright. Talk to you next Monday.