Part 2: Raymond the Reiki Master

Welcome to my podcast, The Girl with the Red Door. I'm Kristjana Hillberg, your host. At some point there will be other hosts, maybe next week, maybe in 3 months, I'm not sure. On my podcast you will hear from people from all different walks of life sharing their real and raw experiences with us. I don't like to bullshit, so here we go. Merry Christmas, you beautiful souls! No matter where you are and what you are doing today, I hope that you are filled with joy and love. Last week you got to hear the first part of mine and Raymond's conversation. Today you will hear the second part. We're going to do a quick recap, maybe like a 30-second just remember, and then it'll just go right into the rest.

Okay, I can feel that I'm sad. We're gonna move past, we're gonna feel it, and then we're going to just put love in there. We're gonna get down to the core and figure it out. And I think that it took me a long time to realize that, like into my late 20s, even just a couple years ago, to, to really give unconditional love out and also to myself.

The healing is through feeling. We don't heal through thinking, you know, it's through feeling. And when we get wounded, and when everybody has their story, right? Everybody has their, um, their suffering and their pain and their past. What happens is we put guards up. Right? And we start to lose trust and we start to just put more and more armor up. And when we do that, our heart hardens and anger comes in and rage. I mean, you see that anger and rage is such a— like, it's just like wildfire right now, right?

Yes.

It's just spreads and it's so contagious, like all energy. But what happens is when you take responsibility, so for example, say, you know, you know, even I'm trying to give an example, someone that has had, you know, a traumatic childhood, say, you know, they had, you know, parents that were absentee, or they didn't feel that they got the, you know, the love and the affection that they deserved or needed, right? When you start to take responsibility for yourself, you stand and you, you open yourself up. You're— and then you realize we're not only that innocent child, because I believe our inner child is always with us. That's our purest connection to source energy. So who we were as If you think about who you were as a 3-year-old, you know, and the creativity and the wonder and just, you know, many of us can, if we just sit with that 3-year-old and had a 5-minute meditation and gave ourselves permission for that energy to wash over us, you, we would remember, oh my gosh, I was a happy kind. And what's so beautiful, what the work that I do, people that are so mauled, people that are so beaten down that they, they're like, I just want to feel. I do inner child work with them and I say, talk to me about who you were as a 3-year-old child. And it's so emotional. You know, so many of these people will say, I was just so loving. I was free. I was kind. And I say, that is who you truly are. This fear and this anger and this hurt and everything is byproducts. It's not who you are at your core.

Yes.

So I help them flush that. And when you remember who you are and you invite that love back into your heart, because the inner child belongs in our heart. But you think about a child, you think about what a child needs. A child needs safety. A child needs food and a child needs love. Children are not born wanting to take over the world and blow up schools. I've never seen a child come across that this is just— they innately have this. Hatred is taught. It's not intuitive. It's not something a child wants to be given permission to be known that they are enough, that they are enough, that they are enough. I can't say that and more. Just knowing that we're enough and giving ourselves permission to explore, you know, and, and to stop hacking away at our beautiful bodies and, and all of this, you know, my God, I'm getting old and this and that, instead of resisting life, we will just dive in because you would never tell a 3-year-old child, "Oh, you're fat. You're, you know, gosh, you're never going to really find anybody with those." You know, it's just not, it's not possible. We do it to ourselves. And when we realize that that inner child is still in us and we take responsibility, we can be the loving parent. We can be the loving mother and the loving father and give that innocent child everything it needs. So that's where the healing takes place. So regardless if people have had abuse or whatever, we can stand in our truth and say, "This stops with me." And that's where generational, you know, things are broken, you know, alcoholism and abuse and this kind of stuff, because it takes someone with courage to say enough is enough and to say, you know what, this is what has been shown to me, but this doesn't feel good. Again, going back to that feeling, this does not feel good. And in this world that we're living in, society teaches us to not feel. Society— I mean, how many times have you heard somebody say, just suck it up, you should be grateful that you even have a job, and all this fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, right?

Totally.

You know, and then it's like, okay, my boss can be abusive because he's paying me well or she's paying me well. It's ridiculous. You would never— we would never tell our children in a right state of mind, you know what, there's a price to be paid for your well-being, but we do it to ourselves.

Oh, all the time.

You know, and what I love is when you reconnect with the inner child, this is a very crucial part of the healing work that I do. The inner child, we can never completely lose our inner child because as I mentioned before, it's our purest connection to source. A child does not understand the word manipulation. They know love. They know— they're just these beautiful, open, beings of love, right? They're like Care Bears, you know? Yes, right? And, and they need to be honored and, and be given permission to continue to just be that love, to just be, to express, to create. And when we do that, and when we forgive ourselves and come to peace with our inner child, then our inner child is then can be lovingly ushered back into our hearts because there has to be a safe home, you know, and in the children, like you could see a child, you know, children are very intuitive. If they don't feel safe around somebody, they're not going to go by them. You know, they're very instinctive. So you have to invite that a sense of peace and I call it, you know, spiritually weeding.

You know, my friend posted an article just, I think it was just yesterday about, you know, the holidays are coming up and how as parents, we really need to be aware of forcing our children to give out affection to loved ones if they don't want to. And I had never really thought about that at all, but they were like, you have to look at it from the perspective of you're teaching them. That you always need to give affection even if you feel uneasy about it and that it's okay for people to, like, enter your space even if you aren't comfortable with it and I was like, "Wow, I never looked at it from that point of view" but I thought that that was such a good reminder because I even remember being younger and just, like, that's just what you did, like, you went over to this person's house, you gave them a hug even if they creeped you out, that's just, like, it was polite, you know what I mean? And I think that's— Go with it, yeah, go with it.

Go give Uncle Joey a hug. And he's like, you know, 5 years in, you're like, ah, run, run. Yeah, totally.

And I, I just think that it's so important, um, now that we're a little bit more aware of, of different things, you know, how certain things can affect your children. I think that it's important to, to teach them from such a young age to respect your space, respect each other's space. To honor who you are, how you feel, and I just thought that that was awesome.

Absolutely, and it's about awareness. You know, if children are not feeling safe, you know, in variety scenarios, maybe there's something going on deeper. But if they don't feel comfortable around certain people, honor that, you know, you're teaching them boundaries. And like you say, you're giving them permission to, you know, permission for their space.

Exactly. Yes. And I think that it's— I don't remember being taught that, being taught that really. Like, I just feel like you just— like if somebody requested a hug or requested a sorry, that's just what you did. And so I think that it's important, definitely important as I look at my little ones, especially my 6-year-old who has developed her very own personality, is very loving and caring and creative and all of these things. I'm like, oh, I really want to nurture that. And, but also build that, build it in her to know that she can speak up for herself.

Yes. Yes. And this is something, you know, that is so important for this time. Is, you know, everybody wants to be seen and heard. And so much of the work that I do is, it's people, we don't realize how we hack away at ourselves. Society hacks away at us from an early age, you know, parents and this, and it's, it's not, it's not intentionally. Right? But to be able to let people speak their truth and be seen, you know, from the work that I do, I notice it's so hard. Yes, I'm a singer, right? So I'm, you know, comfortable singing, but I notice for people, they get so uncomfortable allowing their voice to take up space. To just take up space and to just— I'm not talking about getting up and singing a solo for someone, but just being like, hey, this is me and this is who I am. And from the work that I've been doing, I've noticed that things get ingrained. Weeds get ingrained at an early age that, you know, oh, You know, I believe in the work that I do as well, that we lose our power when we believe lies to be true, right? So, but the beautiful thing is, you can, when you crack that and you say, oh, you know what, I realize now that this was a lie, and I'm going to now, you know, shed light on this, you free yourself from the shackles and your energy comes back. For example, some, you know, women that I work with, this, I mean, even whether it would be singing, working with them professionally with voice lessons, or in sessions doing, you know, energy work, sometimes to get them to speak and in a rooted way, in a way that is like, this is me, was so intimidating. And I realized so much it is a cultural thing. You know, a lot of my clients would say, oh, well, women, it's considered vulgar if I, you know, were to be more assertive. If I, you know, that's, women are considered more refined, the the quieter they are. And I have to say in a compassionate way, look, you have a voice. You're not meant to blend in with the wallpaper, you know, like, stop giving this, this lie power over you, right? And it's so excited— exciting to see these people break through and really reclaim their power. And it just made me think of that when you were talking about, you know, your kids and just like the voice, because it's something that I'm so aware of now. I have a niece, you know, who will be 3 in January, and I am just very aware of like the vocabulary that people use. Like, oh, you're good at this, you should be this. Oh, you're smart, you should be a doctor. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's not even 3. Let's let her express. Oh yes, let her. You know, we don't realize how we, how we want to, um, we're just so used to putting people in boxes and checking, and that's, and that's a way of, of how we can build a relationship on. It's like depending on the boxes then we come in instead of just tapping into the heart space and grounding in that love and just letting that flow happen.

I have listened. Oh yes. And I have listened to so many podcasts or articles and I was listening to Alan Watts and this has forever, ever since I heard him give this little 10-minute speech, but he said, exactly what we were talking about. He's like, I want you to think about people in your life when you were young and they told you who you were. They said, you are responsible, you are caring, you are, you are so good at math. Like they, I mean, they basically just told you who you were going to be and what you were. And he said, and now that you're older, I want you to really almost meditate and think about this and ask yourself, Do I feel responsible? Do I feel caring? And I want you to define it for yourself. And I want you to say, I feel responsible because I am, or, you know, whatever it is. And I was just thinking about that. And I'm like, gosh, I think it just, like we've talked about too, generational. So if your mom's mom's mom was doing something 100 years ago, passed it on to her her daughter and onto her daughter, onto her daughter, then naturally it just— I just almost am just gonna start doing it because it's, it's been in my family for years. So I need to break that cycle, and I've been trying really hard to just change the wording that I use with Lil. So, and you know, instead of saying like, oh my gosh, you are the best at this, I just say something like, I love how hard you worked at that. Like that.

Yeah.

Or how does that make you feel? Like if she says, what do you think about this? I'm like, what do you think? I want you to tell me like your 2 favorite things about this project that we just did. And you know, so instead of like giving her and telling her how she should feel, I try and ask her.

No, I love that because you're, you're Again, you're cultivating her voice instead of conditioning her into, you know, her honing in on what she thinks you were going to appreciate and like, you know, right? I don't want to— this is what— this is what's going to make mommy happy and I'm going to get, you know, I'm going to make her happy if I do X, Y, and Z.

Right. I just want her to be able to accomplish something and because she accomplished it, that's like enough for her, that she feels enough.

And that's it. It goes back into we're enough. If we can realize the truth, which is so shocking and so beautiful in the same way, is there's nothing we have to do to be worthy of love. There's absolutely nothing. We don't have to be the president. We don't have to, you know, save thousands and thousands of people. We're enough if we operate from that place, because unconditional— that is what unconditional love is about. Everyone is worthy of unconditional love regardless of mistakes, regardless of, you know, however society wants to label people. We're enough. And when you go from that place, you start to flow instead of trying to please because that's a lower vibrational, oh, what does this person want me to do, instead of just being, right?

Oh yeah.

And you know, something that I think is important to mention, like you were saying, you know, generational, if the women and the family were doing this, da da da da da, yes, it can be easy to fall into those, you know, patterns, right? Every family has certain kind of energy patterns, if you will. But I think it's very important when taking responsibility, it's not about blaming people. It's not about what's right or wrong. It's not about what's just or fair. When you start to take responsibility for your life and really want to heal, and you just want you want to give that inner child permission to be free, you start to remove yourself from an egoic state where the ego will want to keep tabs. Oh, I— this anger is— this heated anger is right because I need to avenge that this person did blah, blah, blah to me and this and that. Instead of keeping tabs, what happens is you move from an egoic state into a state of forgiveness. A state of forgiveness is one of the most powerful things we can call upon as human beings because forgiveness does not keep score. The only thing that forgiveness seeks is peace.

Mm-hmm.

It does not matter who is right. Now I'm not saying go out and, and go and put yourself in abusive situations, or if someone, you know, has, you know, wronged you multiple times or this, but forgiveness gets rid of that double-edged sword. Because in order to maintain anger and rage and all of this, Remember, all energy feeds. You have to constantly feed that anger, and that means that you're feeding those weeds in your heart. And love is soft. Love will never trespass. Love is never going to break the door down. Love is invited.

You know that?

Yes. Yes. So fear is going to, you know, manipulate it. Oh, oh my gosh, I'm dead. I'm doing this because I'm right in this. Whenever you feel your heart is tight, that's fear. That's not love. Love will never tighten. Love is soft. Love is open. Now, we can get into deeper levels of love, you know, because we're humans, right? It's all about evolution. You can start to take more and more conditions off of love, which is what, what is so exciting. There's always more. Love itself evolves, unconditional love, which I think is so incredible. You know, we can constantly learn to love more, deeper, truer, love ourselves deeper, love our, our partners, our children, the world, have this connection. And, you know, I think That is what life is about.

Yeah, absolutely.

I—

this summer I read this book, and in it he talked about inviting love into your life, and every situation you're in, you need to come to it and, and ask yourself, am I showing up with love? And he said it's just a continual practice, and you just keep practicing and practicing. And he said, and pretty soon that's just going to be your natural mindset is, is you are just going to show up to every situation with love. And I love that. And I thought, this is such a good practice. No matter when you're dealing, you know, with people from work or your personal life, friendships, family, no matter, no matter what, you need to ask yourself, okay, am I here present? And am I showing up in love with love.

I love that. And even adding to that, what we were talking about earlier, be in your truth. If you are sad, feel your sadness. And you know, you can show up and be exactly where you are. And that's what I think is so beautiful. You know, people don't realize that whatever your belief system is, you know, the saying The truth will set you free instead of coming from a place of pretending and skipping the steps. Because when in regards to healing, you cannot skip steps. No. If you're feeling pain, if you're in a place where you cannot forgive someone and that, that anger is just still so red-hot, you can ask love to show you, to lighten those hot coals. You can ask for to, you know, one day— it's a progression, you know what I mean? It's something that will gradually— and it comes with really what you want in your life.

I know with society, like everything at our fingertips, microwaves, phone, Google, everything that we can literally get in the snap of our fingers. I think self-healing, it takes patience and understanding and compassion.

Yes. And I love it. You know, my clients that I have, I see such exciting shifts with them, especially the ones that I'll see. It's so funny because because some of my healing friends crack up with me. They're like, "You give your clients homework?" I'm like, "Of course I give my clients homework." You know, this one is in a journey with trust, and this one, you know, has to be comfortable in silence. And this— and so, you know, because it can be like you're saying, this kind of microwave-minute society that we're living in, it can be so overwhelming. And it's just so much stimulation, right? Where it's just like feeling like you're in Times Square and the billboards and the lights and the this that's constantly projecting you out of yourself, focusing on one thing, holding yourself accountable for one thing. Can I be more compassionate today? And you could check that back. You know, sometimes I'll ask my clients to set alarms or, you know, at a certain time check in. Can I detach more from the negative thoughts? If the negative thoughts come, if those hamster wheels of thought, the hamster wheel of thought that's just spinning, spinning, spinning, can you detach and Instead of just diving into it, which a lot of people do, and it's like fuel, fuel, fuel, can you lean back from it and say, you know what, this is not me, that's not who I am, and just allow the thought to go? Over time, that thought, those roots will weaken more and more and more. And before you know it, you will have this fertile soil and have conscious decisions of what you want to plant, what seeds you want to plant in your garden— love, compassion, peace— instead of just reacting.

Yes, yes, I love this. So we also talked about how you can do Reiki sessions like over the phone.

Yes, yes.

Awesome. So there's somebody Yeah, tell me, like, let's talk about—

yeah, if anyone— I'll say, you know, I feel that I specialize in, um, feeling, uh, blocks within people. I feel like that is a specialty of mine. I see here and I feel energy. So, you know, I will ask people questions how they want to feel and what's not serving them, and I'll start to get vibrational buzzes. And, you know, I tap in with my guides and their guides of what is going on, what's hindering them from being more in, in the loving frequency that they're capable of in that moment. And yeah, so I can do that over the phone. I have some clients that I do that over the phone. And so exciting, I just had an 80-year-old male client that I had over the phone, which I could not believe, you know, that just took a leap of faith with it. And, you know, I said, how are you? How do you feel? You know, I feel calm. Yay!

You know, yes, it's—

I'm— yes. So I— and I also work out of New York City, and I do some events. I'm traveling some too, you know, at events. So You know, I'm just part of making, doing my service. I feel a calling. And I just want to say as well, I have gifts, but people heal themselves. You know, I'm able to help people say, okay, this is what I'm feeling. Do you want this? Are you ready to let go of this anger and rage? Or do you still want to hold on to it and help guide them through this and just you know, feel calmer, loving, and more at peace.

Oh yeah, and no, and I love that. And I really do think that we've talked about this too, everyone wants connection, everyone wants to feel heard and listened to. And I think it's just so important to find that person that you feel, that you feel like you can trust, that you feel connected to. And I mean, to me, you are just this ray of light, and I'm like, everyone needs to talk with you, everyone needs to be a part of your world.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, it's been, you know, even me honoring and, and my journey, you know, with loving and accepting more aspects of myself. And, you know, that trust, that relationship starts with yourself. That relationship starts with little you, 3-year-old you, embracing all aspects of yourself and growing from that just incredible well of wisdom, you know.

Yes.

So if anyone— yes, feel free to reach out to me, um, raymondstorms.com. And, uh, yes, absolutely.

Yeah, I will go ahead and share the website in the show notes as well. So if anybody— and obviously anybody can message me if they have questions about you, and we will get you guys connected.

Yes, yes. And I've been really doing, um, group events, which I'm loving, working with a very, um, gifted sound healer, Julius Batila, in New York City with gongs and doing guided meditation. And just, um, it's just— it's been an exciting journey. And I just encourage everybody to have the courage to be in your skin. You are not a mistake. You have something unique to bring to this earth. There is something inside of each and every one of you listening to this podcast that, that is unique to you. So let go of what is not serving you. Fear is not who you are. The anxiety, the depression, the anger, that is not who you are. Let go, trust, surrender to love, surrender to love, find somebody that can help you and just trust and lean into the beauty that is you.

Yes, we are all about the love here.

As you can tell. Yeah, yeah, yes, we need to get Care Bear t-shirts. Yes, we do.

Well, thank you again, Raymond, and I'm sure I'll talk to you soon. Sending love your way.

Yes, thank you so much. Thank you.

Happy Christmas Eve! I am really hoping that my husband has gotten in the mood for a delightful Christmas movie marathon because you better believe the next two days are going to be filled with Clark Griswold, Kevin McCallister, Buddy the Elf and Cindy Lou Who. I cannot wait to be cuddled up on the couch eating all the treats and sipping the really yummy coffee that we just got. Okay, so next week's guest is a busy mama from the West Coast who shares a little about her fun business. We talk about some holiday shopping and how to incorporate, uh, gosh, what's the word teaching your kiddos how to be appreciative of the season and not just want, want, want. So let's chat about that. And then also, just in time for New Year's, we mentioned some self-help books and podcasts that you can check out if you're interested. I've never really been super into New Year's resolutions, but Kurt and I have a really big year coming up, so we talked about some changes and improvements for 2019 to get ready. To be a part and what our goals were. And I don't know, man, it's hard to, I think, wrap my head around the fact that for most of the year we won't be together. So this is our— this is kind of a time for some reflection and of course for me a little bit more emotional time, but it's been good. Alright guys, happy holidays and I will talk at you next week. Love you!