11 Lessons I’ve Learned Coaching 44,732 Women on How to Attract Love

I've had over 44,732 female clients, and here are the lessons that I've learned from helping these beautiful women attract love. Number one is love is an emotion, and emotions are irrational. Have you ever had a friend who is dating an absolute freaking psychopath? And if not, it's likely that you are the friend that's dating the psychopath. But when this happens, I found it's really difficult to coach someone out of that situation using a rational approach. I used to do that back when I was kind of a rookie, and it was kind of like banging my head against the wal trying to get someone to change. So I found the only way to help someone change their decisions in their love life is to relate their situation to their emotional state and being aware of how the guy that they're with makes them feel and being really intentional about surrounding yourself with people that bring you positive emotions rather than the people who make you feel horrible. Number two is when we blame our geography for our love life issues, it's almost always a different, deeper issue. Adam, there are just no good guys in my city. Okay, so where do you live? I live in Manhattan. I kid you not. I once had a client, and I'm sorry, if you're watching, you're the client. You'll laugh that I'm calling you out here. But she legitimately told me that she dated every single guy in Manhattan. So when she told me this, I took out the calculator and I looked it up, and there's 1.6 million people in Manhattan proper. Of those people, 60% of them are single. So then we get down to 960,000 people. Divide that by two, and that gives me 480,000 single men. So she went on a date with. With a new guy every single day. It would take her 1300 years to go through every single single guy in Manhattan. Definitely not the problem. The math checks out. Long story short, if you have a scarcity mindset, then you're gonna have a scarcity of options. Keep an abundance mentality, and you'll have an abundance of options. Number three is that feminine energy is not weak energy. Look, when you're getting out there and dating, there's both masculine and feminine energy, and men and women. Both have masculine and feminine energy. But if you are looking to attract a more masculine guy, which most of our clients are, then it's important to get out there and start dating by leaning into your feminine energy, because that is what builds a lot of tension between the two of you. That's what builds attraction between the sexes. Feminine energy is all about just leaning back and letting him do the work. And here's the thing. A lot of my clients who are extremely dominant in the workplace, they're extremely successful. They have this idea that feminine energy is this really weak energy. And they believe this either consciously or subconsciously. So when we start working with our clients, we walk them through what we call the little love steps. And the first little love step is leaning into that feminine energy. And once our clients start doing this, they start to realize that feminine energy is actually the most powerful energy throughout the dating process. Lean back, let him come to you. And if he doesn't, then you say that magical four letter word which is next and move on to the next. Number four is that we can't force love to happen when you but we can force the behaviors that attract love. Get out there and consistently meet lots and lots of guys. Open up your horizon to the type of guys that you even consider to date, and bring that incredible feminine radiant energy. Whenever it is that you're going out and meeting these guys, these are the behaviors that are completely within your control. And if you consistently do these things, then love does appear in your life. And if you're ready to get more proactive in your love life, just comment right there below and say, I'm ready. Number five is to stop focusing so much of your energy on what you want in a guy and only focus your energy on what you need in a man. Look, I get it. It's great to want a guy who's 6:3 and makes $300,000 a year. But did you know that only 4% of guys are 6:3 and above? Oh, and by the way, 4% of those guys make $300,000 and above. So what is 4% of 4%? A very small number. Now look, I'm not saying to lower your standards. Instead, I'm saying let's focus our energy on the qualities that we absolutely need in a partner. What are those? Deal breakers. Right. Maybe it's religion, maybe it's commitment, how he commits to you, maybe it's how he treats you with respect, and so on, so forth. Once we understand our absolute needs and our deal breakers, we can get out there and be intentional about leaving our options open to lots of different types of guys. Because one lesson I've learned, Having helped over 44,000 women attract love, is that the man you end up with is going to look nothing like the man you think you'll be with. Keep an open mind Explore lots of different people, and I assure you, the right man will come into your life and sweep you off your feet. All of this is part of what we call little love. Step number two. And if you want to learn how to create what we call your love vision, go to lovestrategies.com and we have a free training that's going to walk you through this exact process. Number six is that a woman's physical appearance does definitely matters when it comes to attracting men, but it's much less than you might think. Look, I'll be honest. There are some guys out there, and all they care about are big boobs and butt, okay? But having worked with so many men in the past, men are not as superficial as you might think. It matters much less about how you actually look and matters much more about how you feel about how you look. Like, for example, let's say you go get a makeover, okay? You get redone, you redo your hair, you get a new outfit, you got all this makeup, and you go out that night and you start attracting all these types of guys, okay? Most women will assume that they're attracting all these guys because of the makeover, because of the physical changes, but in reality, it's likely happening because you are going out with a new swagger. When you look in the mirror, you're saying, damn, I look good, you feel good, and you radiate that energy in every interaction. That is what is most important when it comes to attracting people, both men and women. Number seven is that online dating definitely works. But online dating in itself, I can agree, isn't necessarily fun. I mean, I get it. You're chatting with strangers on the Internet. Things are gonna get weird sometimes disgusting at times. I get it. The analogy that we use in my coaching program for online dating is kind of like going out there and sifting for gold. It's like in the 1800s when there's that gold rush and people would go to rivers and literally put dirt in, like a sifter. And at first it'd be all these big rocks. You take a rock out, a big rock, you're like, nope, nope, nope, nope. Before you know it, you got this kind of fine powder, and before you know it, you're still sifting, sifting, sifting, and before you know it, there's a few nuggets of gold. I don't know if it really works that way, but you get the point. The same thing works with online dating. You're going to message with a few different guys. Nope, that rock definitely not that guy. No. Heck, no. I'm not interested in him. But before you know it, if you talk to enough guys and you go out on enough meetups, before you know it, you're going to have a few nuggets of gold, and these are going to be the guys that are going to absolutely blow your mind. And one of those guys would be the man that you spend the rest of your life with. That is the mindset for being successful with online dating. Number eight is that most of our dating challenges come from a lack of options. And a lack of options simply comes from a lack of effort to get out there and meet new people. Get your beautiful behind off of the couch and go meet some guys. Number nine is that rejection only exists if you call it rejection. It's not what happens to us in life that matters. It's how we interpret those events. We call this a reframe. For example, I had a client the other day tell me about a big date that she went on. I mean, she got a babysitter, she got all done up. She left her night open to go out and see this guy, and she went to the bar where she was meeting this guy for her first meetup, and she just sat there alone for an hour. This guy never showed up. He never texted her, and she never heard from him again. Now, for most people who experience something like this, they might just be like, that's it. I'm becoming a lesbian. But instead, she comes on the mastermind and tells the story, and then she ends the story being like, you know what? I feel like he didn't come on the date because I'm so beautiful, and he was just so nervous to be around me. She reframed it into something that was actually really empowering for her and kind of uplifting. And we were all like, yeah, let's go now. I mean, obviously, between you and I, that may or may not likely be true, but who knows what happened? She had the right mindset, though. Number 10 is that men don't suck. Women are the ones who actually suck. Just kidding. Both statements are incredibly dumb. They're just frustrating for different reasons. In my experience, having coached both men and women are that men are very frustrating to women because we tend to be driven by our kind of inner demon of just wanting sex quickly. I just want to say, it's not us. It's just our nature. And women, on the other hand, tend to be frustrating to men because we just don't understand your emotions. What are you talking about? The ultimate way to Being successful with dating is to understand the other gender. And finally, number 11, after coaching, so many women have really learned that marriage is just not an achievement. Look, even for myself, like, I got married this year, and people all around me have been like, oh, so now you're legitimate as a dating coach? I'm like, that's dumb. The reality is that many people are miserable in their marriages. And ultimately, what we're looking for is not just to get married. It's to have a good marriage with a person that we are absolutely compatible with. And that's still not even an achievement, because marriage is a verb. It's not a noun. It's not a thing. It's not something that just happens. It's something that constantly needs to be nurtured and worked on to be successful. So get out there, attract love, and I'll walk with you every single step of the way for the next decade. So, as a word of gratitude to all those 44,000 women I've had the opportunity to work with, thank you for leaning into this process, and I'll continue walking with you every single step of the way.