15 Simple Rules to Make Dating Easier After 40

In today's very special podcast, we're going to be talking about 15 simple rules to make dating just a little bit easier after 40. Because, Gary, we've seen it. The vast, vast majority of our clients are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and even beyond. I think we have a few in our 90s, even, and dating can feel really hard in this age group. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else. Backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. So let's get into it. What do you think, man? We're gonna have some rules today.

We got rules. We're cleaning out the notebook a little bit. This is like one of those podcasts. I love these kinds of podcasts where you get a whole bunch of quick, simple rules, easy to follow. Guidelines that will make something seem. That's complex, right? All this dating stuff, really, really simple. Now, I don't know about. Do you like rules? Are you like a rules guy?

Hell, no, dude. Dude, I ride a motorcycle, man. I like it. I, I prefer it in states where you can't, where you don't have to wear a helmet. Like, come on.

Okay, now, but do you follow rules? Like when you are supposed to wear a helmet, do you wear a helmet?

Yes. Scary.

Do you drive on the right side of the road in America? Yeah, like, and see, like, that's, that's the thing, right? Like, we don't like rules. I don't like rules. Like, I, I am allergic to rules. Anytime someone, like, makes a rule, I'm like, come on. Like, do we really need this? But there's no denying that we follow them and it actually makes our life easier, right? Like, rules, I feel, put habits on automatic pilot. Like, it allows us to not have to think so hard when we're making decisions if we have, like, basic rules to follow. And so as much as I don't like rules and guidelines kind of make me feel a little bit itchy too. It's like, these actually help. So let's put them into practice and let's let them help dating, right?

Yeah, well, I, I think dating and really anything in Life, all of this stuff can lead to just a lot of cognitive overload, where if every situation we're in with a person, where it's like, I haven't heard back from him, what do I do? Then you talk to your friends for three hours with some mimosas. And then your divorce. Debbie gives you all this advice, and she says, oh, my God, no, I do it this way. And then your married friend is like, no, don't do that. And before you know it, you're just like, what do I do? And rules in many ways. Or principle. I prefer to call them principles, but we'll go with rules today. Principles kind of guide you down that. See, I'm already not following your rule right now.

All right, Mr. Semantics. Yeah, word police over there.

I don't need to listen to you, Gary. But what it does is it just gives us a shortcut to be like, you know what? I'm not going to listen to anyone else. I'm just going to follow this process. And how often, Gary, are we just telling our clients, just follow the process. Just try the process.

Just stick to the plan. Like, stick to the process. And it's like, so many people don't like rules. And except for, like, homeowners associations. And I know, like, my ninth grade English teacher, shout out Ms. Crosby loved rules, loved the grammar, rules, all that stuff, but it's like, most of the time, we don't like it. But, you know, as I started putting this together, I'm like, I really don't like rules. And so I'm like, why am I writing a whole podcast about rules? But then I realized there's one area in my life I have created a whole set of rules that I follow pretty darn religiously. And. And that is with, like, eating healthy, right? It's like, if I'm left to my own devices and I just freestyle what I'm going to eat every day, bad choices will happen, like, constantly. Like, I will eat all the worst stuff I. Chips, whatever. It's just. It's not good. So I have, over the last five, seven years, I just stick to some basic rules. And the first. The first couple. I'm sure you probably have a couple of these, too. But it's like, for me, mindset always comes first, right? And so it's. I remind myself, my rule is food is for fuel, not for fun. It's like, food is just not something you do to, like, have a good time. It's. It's. It's part of having a good time on occasion. But it's. It's really just fuel for your body, and it's just thinking of it that way really helps. The other thing that I follow a lot and the rule I stick by is if I'm gonna. If I eat well, most of the time, it means that I don't have to eat perfectly all the time. And so it's like five, six days a week. I'm pretty darn good. Like, I am by the book, but there's a day, day and a half. All bets are off. And that's. That's okay. Right? And so do you have any before? I have a whole bunch. But do you have any rules like healthy eating things that you follow?

Yeah, I mean, the one that's changed my life is just not eating gluten.

Yeah.

I. I took a food sensitivity test and I found I'm really, really high sensitivity to gluten. Makes me tired. And so I just said, remove it from my body. Don't. Don't ever put it in it. And every once in a while, I'll, you know, if it's a good pasta meal, I'll go for it. Right. But, you know, I don't drink beer. I don't do any other stuff. And I lost like 30 pounds. It's incredible. And that is like a rule. Do not do it. And there's no cognitive overload there where I have to be like, well, I don't know, maybe today's my day. It's just like, no, I don't do it. Go to restaurants, say I'm gluten free. They'll always be like, are you allergic? Or you just say, I'm like, I'm sensitive, but, you know, do the allergic thing. Like, let's go for it. And it. It changes your world.

You know, it's true. It's, you know, related to that. I do one. I. I forget where I read this, but it's like, don't eat anything white.

Yeah, right.

It's like that rules out dairy. It rules out a lot of, like, breads and carbs and just stuff sugar. Like, it rules out. And it's like a dumb rule. It doesn't make a ton of sense, but it actually is really easy to follow and it' easy to remember. I also, you know, don't eat after 7pm you know, I try not to buy things from the middle of the store. You try to shop from the outside edges. And, you know, I eat pretty much the same things every day. Like, there's like four go to meals and I just Eat that stuff all the time and that, like.

Yeah.

That those are rules. As much as I hate to admit that I follow them, and it makes my life easier and better. Like, those things help. And so as much as it can help with eating healthy and all that kind of, it can also help with dating. And we have a whole bunch of these that are going to make your dating life easier.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think we just get into it because I. I think that this is something that we can just kind of bang through. These are the things that we're constantly telling our clients, especially for those who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s and beyond, because I think it's at a stage where it's just really important to have kind of a playbook in your love life. So the first one, you know, you mentioned, mindset, was a really important one when it came to healthy eating. I think the key underpinning of everything that we do is realizing that you are the plot, you are the prize, and leaning into your feminine confidence. Gary, when we first met years ago, you always told me that one of your favorite little love steps. I might be putting little words into your mouth at this point, but what I remember you said, oh, my God, Adam, little love steps are brilliant. You are just the most handsome guy. No, I didn't say any of that stuff. But you did say that you got to be the right person before you find the right person. And I always love that because I'm like, that is what little love step one is. You know, I feel like we bonded on that one.

Yeah. I think it's the most important realization about dating and relationships is this mindset that it all starts with you, and it's a time where you need to be just a little bit selfish. Focus on yourself, and don't rely on the other person to complete you. It's your job to complete you, and then your job is together, to find you as a complete person. Them, they're complete. Together, you form a synergistic bond that you share your amazing lives together. And, like, that's what it's all about. And so, you know, it's. Once you're the right person, you start approaching relationships the right way. And so that's where you can start getting into some dating rules with that mindset in place. So our number one simple dating dating rule you want to follow is always, always assume attraction. When in doubt. A guy, you're wondering, is he interested? He's interested. They're almost always interested. Like, if he's bothering to spend Time to talk to you. If he's gone out of his way in any way to make any kind of contact with you, as innocent as it might seem to you, he's into you because otherwise he would not bother. Totally.

And it's so funny. One of the easiest ways to get, like, a million views on YouTube is to just have a video like X signs that the guy likes you or signs that he doesn't like you. And honestly, it's like, I don't do those that often. Every once in a while, I'm like, okay, I want to get a little bit of clickbait here. But everyone other than that, it's just like, if he's talking to you, he likes you. Always assume attraction. The second one, which also has that always is always be flirting.

Make it.

This is where you can just. It makes it easy to approach. I remember coach Robin, one of our coaches who went through the little love steps and found her husband through this process. She once said to me, and it always stuck with me, she's like, adam, ever since I went through this process, I flirt with everyone. I flirt with the person at the grocery store. I flirt with the convenience store person checking me out, like. Like. Like taking my credit card, not checking me. You know what I'm saying? But she's like, I don't care who it is. Not child.

But maybe I don't always.

I'm not cutting that. Let's keep in the Dan children. No, but she's like, it's just an energy, you know, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm hitting on someone or anything like that. It's just a playfulness that I try and bring to every single interaction. And she still flirts with people when she's. When she's with our clients. I see this at events where she's. She's flirting, you know, she's smiling. She. While she's talking, she's touching them lightly on their arm. She's laughing. She's having a great time. So this is a very important rule. Always be flirting.

Number three, if a guy's confusing, he's really not that interested, right? So if he's not putting in a ton of effort, no effort means no interest. And so he's at least not interested in a serious relationship. Because if a guy is really interested in a serious relationship, he's going to be more clear, a lot more clear about his interest. If it's mixed. Like, sometimes people will hear clients say, well, he's giving me mixed signals. I don't know what to make of it. It's like, well, mixed signals aren't actually mixed. Like, he's showing you that he's not as interested in you as if he was giving perfectly clear signals. And, like, imagine how you feel and how you act when you're really into somebody. It's very, very clear. And so the other thing I like to say related to this is if he wanted to, he would. Right. And so it's like, oh, he hasn't texted in five days. Like, what does that mean? Well, it means that he's not willing to put in as much effort. It doesn't mean he has zero interest, but it just. It's pretty clear that he doesn't have a ton of interest. And so this all comes down to making sure this guy is making you a priority and not an option.

Amen. The next one, number four, rule is you need to know why it is that you're drawn to someone. If you're talking to your friends and you're like, oh, I've been going out with Jason for the past three weeks and he's great. And they're like, oh, tell me about him. Like, yeah, I don't know what it is about him. I'm not really sure. That's actually kind of a bad sign. Right. It suggests that you're probably relying more on chemistry and your feelings versus compatibility and connection. And when we work with our clients and we put them through this seven step process that we call the seven little love steps, we have a little love step called number two, where we create a love vision where we get crystal clear about the men and relationship that is right for us. Long term, it's very focused on compatibility rather than chemistry. And I think the most important value that this provides is it's kind of a gut check when you're dating someone and you're like, let me see if this is just my feelings talking and that chemistry of why I'm drawn to this guy or is he really right for me long term? And I find, like, our clients are constantly talking about their love vision and whether or not someone meets it. And that in itself makes the tool so valuable. That's it.

Yeah. And to that point, the clients that constantly refer to their love vision and check in on it, it shows that they're being intentional and strategic and they tend to have the most success because it's like. And you say, oh, I don't know why I'm drawn to them. It's like, well, you should. Because the way we teach it is you should Go in knowing what you're looking for so you know what it is when you find it. And if you're just kind of like, I have no idea what's going on. You need rules. That's what you need. You need rules.

Yeah, definitely.

All right, so rule number five, do not accept last minute dates. The guy that texts you Friday afternoon at 2pm to see what you're up to that evening, you're busy, you're not available, at his beck and call, whenever he wants. It has a little bit of a desperate feeling if you're always free. Almost like you're kind of waiting around for him to reach out to you. Your job is to have a full, complete, amazing life. You should have a lot of things going on. Don't wait around for a guy if he hasn't made plans with you two days ahead of time. He's not making you a priority. You have other things to do. You're more than happy you can go out with him. You're not available Friday, you're available next Friday or next week. And that shows again that you're the prize. High value. Don't accept last minute dates.

Definitely. And if you're, you know, again, if you're in your 50s, 60s, and, and beyond, and you're in this certain age bracket where you're like, well, I don't know, I, I have some interest and I, I gotta just jump on this. You've gotta value yourself in those situations. You gotta value your time. And these guys who are just kind of throwing out last minute feelers, that's not acceptable. It's just not acceptable. And so when you're in that type of a situation, the best. The, the, the key answer to all of this is just having such an active social life that it's not possible to accept last minute dates.

Right.

Like, we have some clients. A client I was talking to the other day where she's literally in her 70s and she's like, my social life has never been this busy. Like, I don't even have time for more meetups at this point. I have so many on the calendar right now. I got so much going on and what a wonderful problem to have. Oh my God. Like that's, that's where it comes in. You know, this is a really hard rule to follow. If a guy texts you on a Friday and your weekend is completely open.

Right?

That's hard. If you're just kind of sitting at home and you're like, go with this guy last minute or sit at home eating Ben and Jerry's and watching Netflix. I don't know. I mean, Ben and Jerry's is good, but, you know, it's. It's not as good as a hot date on Friday night. So the key is to just have a really, really active social life, which is a similar rule to the sixth one, which is do not, ladies, whatever you do, do not double text. If you text a guy on a Friday afternoon and he doesn't respond, don't text him Friday night. All right? No response is a response. There's one thing I know to be true, and that is the vast majority of human beings have a phone on them at all times, and they check it constantly through the day.

But Adam. But Adam, what if. What if there's something wrong with cell service? What if he's trapped under something heavy?

I don't even know. I don't know.

What if he's in danger and needs my help?

We've heard those things.

I've heard all of those things.

I know. And, you know, I. I understand where that comes from because I've had that scenario happen to me when I was dating, like, 20 years ago. I remember I would text a woman, and I'd be like, everything went really well. I'm so surprised. Like, what's, man? Do I have the right phone number? You, like, go down this weird rabbit hole. You're like, what could have possibly gone on? And if I just learned this lesson earlier, luckily, I learned after a few years of learning all this stuff. But if I just learned, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and a lot of confusion through this time of trying to just, like, figure it out. It was so confusing. I spent all this time talking my friends, and no friend would want to be like, dude, she just doesn't like you, bro.

Take the hint, buddy.

I take the hit. Like, it's over. It's over. The big yeah, man. Like, she just must have. You know, she must just be busy or something. You know, it's like, well.

And even I. And the way I think helps clients the most is like, imagine a scenario where you do keep texting him, and finally you break through, and he texts you back, what have you won? You've won a prize that didn't want to be won in the first place. And he's really just kind of like, how do I make the spam stop? And so he's giving you. It's just. It's not the win that you think it's going to be. And it's like, let's cut it earlier, like, let's just cut. Which is very much related to rule number seven, which is don't invest more in a guy than he invests in you. You don't want to make this whole dating thing so easy for him that he can just kind of show up and be in a relationship without any effort. You want him to want to be there. As I say to clients, a lot, you want volunteers, not hostages. And so sometimes we will see clients who are like, I'm going to plan everything. I'm going to go drive to his house. He's an hour away. That's fine. I'm going to go pick him up. I'm going to go Dr. Driving to this. And it's like, well, what's he gonna do? Oh, well, you know, he. He's very appreciative. He's very thankful. And he says, I'm amazing. I'm like, well, of course he does, but does he want to be in this relationship? And how could you possibly know? And so we like the things in life that we have to put a little effort into. We like the things that we work for. And so this guy is interested. He's gonna work for it. He's going to drive to you, he's going to make some plans, he's going to put in some effort and give him the opportunity to show you how much he cares.

Amen. Amen. Rule number eight is probably my favorite of all the rules when it comes to dating, because I think if you embody this rule, then it solves the vast majority of other challenges in your love life, which is, when in doubt, go out. When in doubt, go out. You really can't find love from the couch. And I get it. Like, we have a lot of people who start working with us, and they're like, Gary, I'm sure you've heard this question, which is like, gary, give me one place in Narnia where all these perfect guys who are single are just there waiting to talk to me and only me. Where is that one place? What do you. What do you typically say to someone like that?

As you say, I can tell you where it's not. And it's not on your couch in your living room. And the other thing I always say is the place that it is, is not a physical place, but it's outside of your comfort zone. That's where it is.

Exactly. Exactly. And so, I mean, I'll have clients who, when they're just getting started, and like, we're working through a lot of this stuff, they they break through this, but when they first get started, they just want that one kind of magical place. And we have a lot of suggestions, we have a lot of different places, but at the end of the day, it does require just getting your beautiful, beautiful behind off of that couch and putting yourself in situations and places where you might not necessarily be that comfortable at first, but you kind of work it out. And on those weekends where you don't have anything going on, yeah, let's go make it happen. Whether it's a meet up with a guy where you're like, I'm not so sure about him. You know, he's got, he's a little bit balding, he's, he doesn't have a lot, I'm not really sure. Or that the picture on his online dating profile is a little bit grainy. I'm not really sure. When in doubt, go out. Right. And in the same token, if the first date with a guy isn't like, blow your socks off, it's not the most amazing date in the world, I always recommend giving him a second chance because you'll actually get to know the real guy on that second date. Like, that's where you really get to know the real person. So ultimately it is about taking radical action and consistently making, making it happen. Now again, not to say like, again, we give you places to go. We're all about being intentional with that. But at the end of the day, it requires you to always go out, get out of your house and go on meetups.

Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know if we can talk about this, but like, we just moved to a new platform and one of the things we have on this new platform is a tool where our clients can basically put in where they live. And our tool will give them the places where within 10, 15 miles of where they live that where to find guys. Right? It's just, it's something we do that our clients are like, I can't believe you have this thing. How does it know? And it's, I don't know, we can't reveal the secret sauce, but it knows.

Oh, cool. Gary, have you been looking at the responses in that? Like we, we have this incredible tool. We call her Sage. We can talk about her. It's totally cool. And Stage is our Love Strategies AI tool. And this ain't your saying ChatGPT over here. This is trained on all of Love Strategies data. So when you type in, for example, there's one of many uses, your zip code. It's not Just going to give you, like some random responsive places. It uses our data of the most successful places to go and then uses it for your unique area. And so it gets you focused, but it does a lot of other stuff. You can upload a text chain with a guy, a screenshot of it. It'll tell you how to respond. And the best part about this tool, which I, we've been talking about a bit behind closed doors, but I just want to brag about it, is this tool will push back on you a little bit. You know, like, if you're not following the rules, Sage could be a little tough on it sometimes. I love it.

Well, because this tool has been uploaded and coached on all of our coaching. It does. It says things. And I'm like, that's totally. That's. Adam would totally push back on somebody like that. And it's like, it says things. I'm like, wait, that sounds a lot like me.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's super cool. It is. It's really impressive.

So, yeah, if, if you're interested in being a part of that, we've talked, since we've talked a lot about it, you can always go to loveapply.com and you can schedule a consultation with love strategists on my team and we can see whether or not you're fit for that. So that's my, my one second plug. I wasn't planning on doing that, but since we talked so much about it.

Sorry, sorry. I went, I went on a tangent. I, I got excited.

It's a good. All right, let's get back to giving value for these.

So number eight was when in doubt, go out. So number nine is. All right, we want you going out, but early on, we only want you to go on one date a week because we want you to slow things down so that you don't get carried away.

Because again, one day a week with. One week.

Yeah, one day to week with one guy. Right. So you know this guy we were using, Jason, before you really enjoy go out with him Friday, you have to wait till the next weekend to see him again. It's not. Oh, Friday went so well. Let's see him on Saturday, Sunday, Monday. We're not going to do that because we want to do what we call pacing. We want to slow things down and make sure that we're forming connections based on emotional intimacy and not physical intimacy, on compatibility, not chemistry. Because we're looking to build relationships that last a long time, not just ones that are fun for a couple of days or weeks. And Then flame out. And so it's really important, particularly if you're really into a guy, to take things a little slower early on. And we do that by one date per week with a, with a guy.

Amen. Rule number 10, avoid long distance dating at all costs. If you're online dating, I absolutely, this is a rule. Set your parameter to 60 miles maximum. Ideally it's more like 30 miles. And we understand you might be on a trip to the Caribbean, you might meet a guy there and perhaps a relationship starts that's kind of different. But if you're online dating, keep it tight with your distance because if, if you're starting an online dating, romantic relationship and he lives three hours away or a flight that's five hours away, good luck.

Yeah, I, I, I feel like I want to say so much more about that, but this is a rule, dude, you got to follow it. It makes your life so much easier. Very much related to that rule is number 11, which is don't date too far outside of your age range. We generally give a plus or minus 10 years kind of parameter. And this is a rule that so many clients are, you know, they'll get on our masterminds and basically are looking for a permission slip to break this rule. And it's always, is it possible to date somebody 20 years older, 20 years younger and have it work? And I say the same thing every time. It's possible, but it is not fricking likely. Like, it's just not likely to work out. Because when you're 15, 20 years difference, it's hard to have alignment in terms of your likes, your interests, your values, your season of life and, you know, kind of what's important to you on a day to day basis versus what's important to them. It's just, it's really, really difficult. And a lot of times your willingness to try to date outside the range is the best evidence we can see of you operating from a sense of scarcity and perhaps some avoidant attachment too. Like you're, you're basically trying to make a little hard on yourself.

10 years plus or minus is a pretty big range. That's a 20 year range. That's just fine, right? If it's 11 years, okay, maybe we, you know, take off the helmet when it's legal to, you know, we can, we can bend the rules a little bit, but let's not go too far out of that range because we've just found that people outside of that are just in a different season of life.

And I love how you Said all that with your hands on your hip. Like, you know, this is a rule and you will follow it. You got. You got very. You got very tough there. That's. Look, it's good.

Well, it kind of feels good to say all this because we're saying this all day with our clients, but it's like we could just let it all out.

Yeah. Put it all together in one big thing.

Arctic.

It's nice.

Another one, which is pay much more attention to what he does rather than what he says. Talk is cheap. It's easy. Let's actually look at his actions and his follow through. That is what matters. Yeah.

Because guys with good intentions and guys with bad intentions, they say a lot of the same things early on. Right. Like, that's how the guys with bad intentions get away with it because they. They know what to say. They're just terrible at the follow through. And so that's why you follow. You watch the follow through, you watch the behaviors. That tells you everything you need to know. Number 13. This one's going to save you from a ton of heartache when it comes to online dating, which is no emotional investment until you meet in person. Avoid like the plague these weeks and months of texting and messaging back and forth with somebody you've never met in person. You want to meet a guy in person literally as soon as you possibly can, provided you know, he's safe. Everything matches up, you know, you know, as far as you can tell, he's real, real person. Meet in person. Because it's hard to really get to know somebody over text. It's hard to get to know somebody over an online profile. You learn a ton about that person sitting across from them, getting to know them, being in their presence. And I will tell you, so many of our clients are pleasantly surprised with guys who have terrible online pictures, guys who are terrible at texting, but then they go out to lunch with them and they're like, oh, my gosh, it's like a different person. And it's like, well, yeah, guys are not so great at texting a lot of times, and they don't have great online profile pictures a lot of times. So go meet him. Yeah.

And the reverse also exists where sometimes you might be messaging with a guy for two months and he's perfect, and he's so sweet, he's so charming. And then you meet him and he has dragon breath, and it just. It won't go away. And there's just something really off about him. He's 4 inches shorter than he said and you're like, why in the living hell did I give this man two months of my life that I cannot get back? Just don't do it. He doesn't exist to you emotionally until you meet him in person.

That's it.

Hard to stop. Number 14, no exclusivity. No defining the relationship earlier than one month of meeting the guy. All right? This gives us time to spend with him to see if he is worth our exclusivity. Because the way our clients work this process with little love steps is they will talk to multiple, multiple guys at the same time and see who is qualified, who meets their love vision. And you cannot determine if someone really, as a baseline meets her love vision until you've been seeing them for at least one month. And if we're following the previous rule that Gary had mentioned, then that means you've gone out with them at least four times. Right? Generally speaking, now that's early. Our clients on average are more like two to three months when it comes to DTR. But the best part, and DTRs define the relationship. The best part is if you've been talking to a guy for two, two and a half months and you've been going out consistently, he is following through with his word. He's following through on everything we've talked about in this. You can be pretty confident that he's a good long term fit for you, right? Not 100%. Of course not. There's still, you know, you learn a lot from a person once you're exclusive. But if you've gone out with a guy one time and he says, I want you all to myself, you're. I don't know why he sucks Southern, but baby, I just want you all to myself. Oh, other guys. And you're like, yes, this is perfect for me. Red flag, hold up now. Give it a month.

But Adam, But Adam, I don't. I don't want to wait that long. I. This needs to happen a lot faster. I don't want to wait two months. Like, why. Why do I have to wait so long?

Because it's a rule. And you listen. You listen. This is authoritarian, Adam, right now. Give it a month. Give it some time. It will build more desire in the connection. Anyways. Just. This is one where it's just like, trust me. Yes, trust me on this. It's.

If.

If he is not willing to wait a month as well to continue seeing you without it being exclusive, that is a major concern because that is likely showing that he has major control issues. Now he can bring in the dark triad and all the, you know, the narcissism and. And his level of just wanting control over you. So it's a really, really healthy way to date. It's a normal way to date, and it sets you up for success. And, ladies, this is a minimum one month. Minimum.

Gary, I love it. I. I love it because. And in the grand scheme of things, two to three months, though at this moment might sound like a long time, that investment in the grand scheme of the rest of your life is not a long time at all. At all. And you have to think of it that way, like long term Horizons. So, number 15, our last simple rule. Save this one for the. For the end, because this one underscores a lot of what we talked about already. Be a chooser, not a chaser. And so this is about being intentional, being deliberate, being thoughtful, being strategic. This is about looking for authentic connection, not attention. This is about avoiding that needy, desperate energy that can attract guys, but it almost always certainly attracts the wrong guy. And so this is about being the prize, being the right person to find the right person, and constantly being in a position where, you know there's going to be other guys and I get to choose, and I'm going to choose the person who's right for me. Not just the next person, the most convenient person, the quickest person, the only person, whatever it is that you're telling yourself, it's choose the right person to share your life with.

Amen. Gary, thanks for putting these together. This is a lot of fun. You're the man.

All right. Thanks, man.