4 Dating Principles that Attract a Great Relationship

In today's podcast, we are going to be talking about four dating principles to attract the best relationship you've ever had. I know those are big words. And the reason behind this podcast is I told Gary, I said, you know, we've been a little too tough lovey lately, so let's do something a little bit positive. And then Gary whips out my favorite thing in the world, which is an acronym. Gary went with best. And this is gonna be a good one. It's a little cheesy, but I like it. It's a good one. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

I love leading with positivity, and it, it's really, hey, let's do something fun and positive. So many of our things are positive, but I think we had just come off one where it was like, listen, kind of hold the big brother. Like, hey, like, come here. Like, we have something we got to tell you. You know, this is, you know, every once in a while we do a little killing of romance and stuff. So this is the. This is the antidote. This is the, hey, this is all positive stuff. You are going to have the best relationship ever. That's a fact. How do we know you're going to have the best relationship? Because the best relationships start with the best dating. They go hand in hand. And we're here to help. We've got you covered, Gary.

I just love love. I just love love. Do you hate when people say, I do hate it?

But then I'm like, okay, guilty is charged.

Yeah, like, I love love, too. It's so funny. We. We were hiring a lot here Love Strategies, and so many applicants will say that are on their interviews. I just love love. I, like, just kind of do one of these real quick. And I'm like, I know what she's saying. I love love, too. But. But today we're all about love. We're all about romance. It's gonna be beautiful. Walk us through it, Gary.

So, you know, I. I think one of the fun, funny things about dating is it's weird in the sense that the goal with dating is to not be alone anymore. Right? You want somebody else. And so I think, particularly for women, just find is actually pretty easy. There's guys out there that are willing to date you. And, you know, I know you're listening. Don't make that face or roll your eyes. There are guys out there that will date you. You don't always necessarily want to date them, and that's a whole other thing. But, like, you have, and that's fine. You not wanting to date them is fine because you want to make sure you're dating the right kinds of people. Right? Getting someone's a lot easier than keeping them, but keeping the guys is a lot simpler and more productive if you're dating the right kinds of guys. And so we talk about this a lot with our clients, and we talk about this a lot at Love Strategies. In general is how you date sets up your relationship. So if you want to have the best relationship, you got to date in the best way. And so that's really what we're talking about today. I keep weirdly emphasizing the word best because best is an acronym. So there are four keys to this. The first part of best, the B, is for blanks, as in do not fill them in. We've talked about this in a previous podcast as fibbing to yourselves. We want to know how the story ends. We want to know where this relationship is going. We want to know if he's the one. Slow down, slow down. We want the person we meet to be the person we've been looking for the whole time. If you follow along with what we suggest, you have a love vision. You have it mapped out in terms of what you're looking for. And boy, wouldn't it be super convenient if the next guy you meet checks every box and is amazing, etc. You know what? Not going to happen. Not right away. You're not going to figure that out on the first meetup. The first date, the second date, slow it down. Don't rush it.

I've been using your don't fib yourself so much lately. It's so effective with clients. Um, I had a client a few months ago. She went on a date with this incredible guy. Like, just everything she's been looking for. Really excited about him. But she said, adam, there's this problem. You know, we went on a date, and it turns out he's renting. I'm like, oh, okay, so what's the problem? Well, if he rents, he must not. He doesn't own a house. So he must not have any money. And I said, well, I get that, but, like, let's just dive in here. What's really going on? And she said, well, he's in a really nice area of town. I know that. And he did get divorced a couple years ago. He's clearly ready to date again. I said, well, if he got divorced, probably sold his house and now he's just renting.

Huh?

Hadn't really thought of that before. And she was, like, ready to not go out with him again because he's a renter. And that is like a perfect example. And there's many other examples of all of us doing this where we're like, we associate one thing with a certain meaning and we just start filling in the blanks. And that's like a pretty macro example. There's many small examples where we hear a certain thing and then we associate everything with that thing, with that person. And the reality is we later found out, because she continued dating him, that, yeah, he is renting until the market, you know, cools off a little bit. Totally fair in this current environment. And he's going to be looking for his next dream home, which is incredible. So he's actually making, like, a really smart financial decision. And she's like, good. So just think about how many times we all fill in the blanks and fall victim to this idea where we hear one thing and then suddenly we just have a rush of associations with that human being and we put them in this tight little box and we assume that they are just this thing. Fight that urge. Humans are very good at putting people in boxes. Avoid that when we're dating. Keep an open mind until we have all the information.

Yeah, I think the other way that this applies is. And I think it's one of the biggest problems people have in dating, which is they succumb to hope, wishful thinking, and confirmation bias, where particularly for those who are anxiously attached, they're so. They love, love. And they are so looking forward to finding the person. They find out just the tiniest little bit of information, and then they start extrapolating from that. And like, if this is true, this must be true, and then this is true. And then this and this and this. And then they come, they have these assumptions, and now they start looking for information to confirm those assumptions, and they create this whole relationship, past, present and future, that doesn't actually exist because it's completely conjured up out of their imagination. It's perfect and it seems amazing. And that is inevitably going to come back to Bite you.

Just since you name dropped two pretty big terms, confirmation bias and anxious attachment. Just so we don't lose the plot for everyone, would you mind quickly explaining what those two things are for everyone?

Yeah, sure. So anxious attachment is someone who is worried about being abandoned, and so they're extremely comfortable with closeness. The other way to say is they're a little clingy and they're. They're very intense with how they form bonds with other people as a way of making sure that they don't lose their relationship. And then confirmation bias is you have an assumption and you look, you actively seek out information that agrees with you. And so I think this guy I just went out with is nice. So then forevermore, you start looking for all of the things that show that he's nice and conveniently ignore anything that doesn't confirm your original bias.

Right, right. Even when he yells at the waiter and it's like, totally rude, you're like, no, no, he's so nice.

He.

He's nice.

He yelled nice way. Yelled in a very nice way. That was the nicest possible way to yell. You heard people. I mean, this is how people approach relationships. And it is the easiest way to completely delude yourself. That's not going to lead to the best relationship. That's going to lead to heartbreak in, let's put it, about six months.

Yeah, absolutely. All right, one. Take us to the next one.

Gary E. In Best is for emotional intimacy, as in prioritize emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. Do not make mistake of trading physical intimacy in hopes of gaining emotional intimacy. Women, people have been trying this for years and it never works. And I don't know what I'm about to say. This might be a Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania thing. Adam, I don't know if you've ever heard of this, but my mom used to always say, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Oh, yeah, that's a.

That's okay.

Well known saying for sure.

I didn't know that was like a weird Pennsylvania kind of thing. I was waiting for, you know, your erudite Boston ness to be like, what are you talking about?

We don't know what you're discussing. We don't have cows around here.

But it's. Don't try, like, oh, well, you know, if we're physical, then that's going to make him like me more.

No.

Nope. Because you're looking. We're assuming because you're listening to this podcast, you're looking for something real. The right guy is never going to pass you by because you weren't physical enough. Because the right guy's also looking for something real. And a signal to guys that this is not real and this is not something to value. Is getting the physical stuff too quick.

Yeah, well. And for women, getting intimate with a man releases a hormone notice or a chemical love chemical known as oxytocin. And that actually bonds you emotionally and creates a closeness between the two of you. But for men, when men sleep with a woman, it actually releases testosterone, which actually reduces oxytocin. So men will sleep with a woman and then be like, you know what, I'm going to go sit on the couch or go hang out with my guy friends for the rest of the night. It actually, it's can have an alternate, it can have a, a reverse effect. Now the way that it doesn't do that is if a man is emotionally connected to you, if he sees you as a friend, if he's already been bonded to you, he's starting to feel in love with you, he's starting to understand you as a human being. But if it happens too soon before there's any emotional intimacy, then the moment he sleeps with you, suddenly there's going to be this rush of testosterone and he's actually going to start to pull away more than once. You get closer. And this is a big divide between men and women as far as men don't understand why women get closer right after sex as much. And women don't seem to understand why men can pull away after sex. So I think this is a really important piece of all this is just realizing that we need to create that connection first, that friendship between the two of you before it gets physical. Because if it gets physical too soon and you don't know the person, all you're doing is sleeping with a stranger. And who wants to sleep with a stranger.

And you know, you're looking for a long term, committed, fulfilling relationship. Those kind of relationships are built on emotional intimacy. Get to know and get to know them and really make sure you're getting to know them. And I say it that way because so often people will. I'll ask, how do you know them though? Well, we talk for six hours. Okay, but about what? Because how much you talk isn't the same as what you're talking about. Have clients say, well, we text every day, nonstop every day. That counts for zero. It does. That just doesn't count. That's not building emotional intimacy. It's almost impossible to build emotional intimacy over text. And so just be careful about what you're counting. And it's gotta be real emotional intimacy. You have to, to have emotional intimate, you have to be vulnerable. You have to open up, share. He has to reciprocate and be willing to be emotionally vulnerable to open up and to share. Can you get hurt? Yes. And that's a good sign because it shows you having emotional intimacy. If you're not, it's not potentially hurtful in terms of what you're sharing. You're not actually being emotionally intimate. That's just stuff you could share with anybody. And that, that's not necessarily going to do it. And so you have to open up and be a little vulnerable.

So one thing you'll hear a lot on the podcast is us mentioning the seven little love steps. These are seven powerful yet simple steps that you can take in your love life to attract that man that lasts for the rest of your life. So if you don't know the seven little love steps, then I have a free training for you. It's completely free. Just head on over to the Love steps dot com. You can go through that virtual training. I think you're going to really enjoy it and get a lot out of it and understand our exact framework for attracting that relationship you truly deserve. Again, that's the lovesteps.com. all right, back to the pod. Yeah, and I would, you know, a lot of people will kid themselves and be like, oh, we'll just, you know, I'm not really necessarily looking for anything right now, so I'll just sleep with this guy and I'll just have him kind of there and it'll be good. We'll have great sex and you name it, yada, yada, yada, and then the emotional intimacy will develop. It will come, whether it's through him or it's with you. But the majority of women that we've worked with and we've worked with literally tens of thousands of them will fall into this trap. Then you're not only sleeping with him for a long period of time, but also now you're emotionally connected with him. So the risk of doing that is actually quite. Is much higher. I'd rather be emotionally connected with a person with the risk of getting hurt, but at least you're not physical yet with a person so that you can back away more easily. But if you're sleeping with him for like two months and then you fall in love with him, that is a recipe for disaster. And the worst part of all of that is what can happen in those situations is you sleep with a guy for Two months. Then you start to fall for him, and then you tell him that you're falling for him, and he's like, whoa, that's not the deal here. That's not how we started things. No, no, no, no. We said we were just keeping this thing casual, and that is the ultimate pain. So, again, easiest ways start with emotional intimacy first, before it gets too physical.

I'm so glad you said that, because that's what I was dying. That is such an important lesson in this. You start off, oh, it's just sex. It's casual. It's just physical. It's just casual. Whatever. You know who's really into those roles? Him. He loves those rules. You then catch feelings, as the kids say, or, you know, you develop emotional intimacy. You've now changed the rules of the game in a way he's not going to be thrilled about. And if you keep pressing that, he's gonna be like, done. I'm out. I'm gonna go play again this same game with somebody else who sticks by the rules, and it's gonna cause a lot of hurt, a lot of emotional turmoil. And we're really trying to protect you from a lot of that.

Well, you know what actually will sometimes happen that's even worse is he'll then date someone else who builds emotional intimacy with him first before they sleep together, and then he marries that person. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, my God, I was casually hooking up with this guy for a year, and I tried to turn this into something, and then the next woman he meets, he's married to in, like, three months.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, it's all just how. From how it started. It's like the foundation of the beginning of the relationship. It's just how it started.

And important, super importantly, in that scenario, what happens almost every time the woman then asks herself, what's wrong with me?

Right.

Which is heartbreaking, and it pains me to hear it. But you can kind of hear in our explanation, the answer is, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just, what are you putting for? It's the strategy that you're using. And if you put the physical stuff first, you're disqualifying yourself, in a way, from the thing that you really want. And so it's really just about being strategic and disciplined, about maintaining this idea that emotional intimacy first and that will lead to physical intimacy, because that's going to get you where you want to go.

Yeah. So true. All right, take us to the next one, Gary.

All right. The S in best is secure attachment.

I don't know.

Don't acronym shame me. You have so many acronyms, you do not get to acronym shame me.

I'm acro shaming you, bro. I'm acro shaming you.

No, not. Okay, I refuse, not. Not a boundary established back on.

So I can still make fun of you, though.

Secure attachment, as you probably know, but this is someone who's comfortable with closeness. They're not worried about the person leaving them. They operate in relationships from a sense of basic trust. Secure attachment is the gold standard for you and for him. But for you, our listener, you accept no substitutes. The guy you date, date. I know you're like, just date. No, no date. You only date secure guys. Yeah. Now, some people say, oh, no, I know I want a secure guy for a relationship, but for dating, do I really. No, no, no. You only date secure guys because those insecure guys, you can date them. Then you're going to start building emotional intimacy. You're going to start getting connected. Only, only, only, only. Only date secure guys. It's really that important.

Okay, before we move forward, because that's a strong statement, what would you say back to the women who are listening saying, I have an anxious attachment style or I have an avoidant attachment style? Should men not date me, then?

No, because I think it's important to be somebody who recognizes your attachment and knows what it is and knows what you need to work on. So this is one of those times where trajectory matters. And I would presume that if you're listening to this podcast, you're someone who cares about personal development, self improvement, getting better at relationship things. So you probably have a pretty good sense of what your attachment is and you're working on it. I can't guarantee that that's happening for him. And I would actually venture to guess it's not that he's just kind of free, going through life, just. I don't know. He doesn't. He doesn't. He's avoidant and doesn't know it. He's anxious and doesn't know it. He doesn't. And he doesn't necessarily care to learn, perhaps. So I can't vouch for him. But. So, you know, if you're not secure and you're worried about this, in some ways, good. So focus on establishing your security. And one of the best ways to establish your own security is to date people who are secure and learn to trust them.

Amen. That's exactly what I was thinking, but I just wanted to throw that at You. Because I want to make sure that was clear.

Yeah, no, I appreciate. I appreciate. I love talking about, like, these little attachment things, and I just have to stop myself from going on and on and on. I did a special seminar for our clients last week. It was supposed to be 25 minutes, and I went for a solid 50. And they. I mean, they loved it and they were super, but it's so easy to talk about this stuff, so I will stop now.

Yeah, we got to put on, like, your nerd glasses when attachment styles come. Like, we. We have to have a special set of glasses. You don't even wear glasses, do you?

Contacts.

Contacts, yes.

I've been rocking contacts since 10th grade.

Got it. We need to, like, lean into the academic. Get you all, like, super. Like the circular glasses and the. I don't know. What else could we do for Maybe more.

Can we go more Clark Kent? Maybe.

That'S fair. That's impossible. Yeah.

So with all this talk about attachment. Okay. I want to do something fun. Can we do something fun?

Let's do it.

I want to do, like, a little activity.

Let's have the best activity.

Stop. You just did it again. Shaming me. Okay, here's. I'm going to. I'm going to call this. What would a secure person do? And so you always want to ask yourself this question. What would a secure person do? So a guy doesn't text. That's the scenario. So before we get to what a secure person would do. Adam, and ask you first, what would a guy does in text? What would an anxious person do?

Freak out. Worry. Text him a million times, hoping that he will respond and just go into total, like, freak out mode.

Right. Right. Hey, what's up? Hey. Hi. Having a good day? Hey. What?

Hey.

Terrible. Okay, so now what would an avoidant person do in that exact. Guy doesn't text. Avoidant person.

I tried to disappear. This is what an avoidant person would do.

That's good. So for those of you listening and can't see, we couldn't see him anymore. He disappeared. He disappeared.

It's over. Screw him. He doesn't deserve me. Bye. Bye. All that stuff. I'm out. I don't deserve this.

Bye. Yeah, completely. NSync.

Bye.

Bye. Bye. Right.

Yeah.

Okay, so now, same scenario. A guy doesn't. What would a secure person do?

They're busy. They don't text me. It's fine. You know, that means, you know, whatever. Maybe we're not compatible. And that's pretty good to know. Sooner versus later.

I don't know, that's great. Yeah, it's just, it's so matter of, it's just such a non factor. And so this is the thing, the kind of thing to ask yourself in this filtered what would a secure person do in this situation? So this will help you be more secure and it'll help you identify guys who are more secure. If they're reacting to most situations with okay, you know, that's fine, you know, there's not overly jealous, any of that kind of stuff. And so the other thing to do with identifying secure guys is don't tolerate the emotionally distant, mixed signal kind of guy. You want to focus on traits and men. You want to find a secure guy. Find guys who are consistent, who are reliable, who are emotionally regulated. Like they're not too many highs, not too many lows. They're accepting of their own flaws. They're calm, they exude warmth, they make you feel seen, heard and understood. When you're in their presence you feel calm, you feel safe. That's how you should feel around a secure person. And these are good feelings for long term. You want the best relationship, that's the kind of guy you're looking for.

Yeah, I mean optimize for security and trust, that's first. And I think what you just said is really important where if someone is inconsistent, it's impossible to trust that person. How can you trust something that is inconsistent? Like if I were to jump out of an airplane with a parachute and they're like yeah, we packed the bags and we're not really very consistent with that, am I going to trust that that parachute is going to open? Am I going to do that? I don't think so. I mean maybe not the best of all examples, but you the point, consistency is the key over a long period of time. And if someone is consistent over a long period of time, that's where you can trust them.

So and I think when you're looking for these secure guys, don't misread boring and dull as you know, sometimes I should say that a different way. Don't misread stability and predictability as boring and dull. Right, right. We want predictable, we want. When guys say they're going to show up, we want them to show up. When guys say they're going to do something, we want them to do that thing. When guys say they are a certain way, we want them to actually be that way. And I know that takes out some of the mystery, but if you've had a past with a bunch of unhealthy, toxic Relationships, you've been training yourself in a way to believe that drama is a sign of chemistry. It's a sign of excitement. And the truth is, that's not that. That's not what chemistry is about. And you want to make sure that you're not accidentally optimizing for drama in chemistry when you really should be looking for stability and security.

Gary, you know it's so hot is when you have sex with a partner right after you get a blowout fight where you're throwing plates against the wall and he's going nuts and you're going nuts, and it's so dramatic and you're just screaming at each other. You're throwing his clothing out the window because you say you're leaving. Get out of my life. Then he says, bab, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And then you say, I'm sorry, too. Oh, my God. Then you have the best sex in the world. But let me tell you, not a good relationship you want to have, that is not the husband you want to have. That is not the future you want to have. It's not the father to your children that you want to have. Drama and emotional volatility can be hot, but security, whereas security can be quite boring and dull at times, certainly compared to that, if you're used to that in relationships, it's going to feel really boring. But lean in, it still can be exciting, just in a healthy way. It really can be.

And I think what happens too is if you've been secure for a long enough period of time, like what you just described. Sounds like a horror show to me. Sounds terrible. I mean, I get it, I get it, but it's. And that's what you have to realize is what your attachment is, where you're coming from, and you're. You want to constantly be moving towards more security because it's something that we know from all of the research, secure is the good one. It's the good one for everything. And the more secure you are, generally the better your outcomes are going to be. So it really is that important.

So, Gary, have you never thrown a plate against the wall?

Never. Never.

You don't strike me as that type. No, me neither. By the way, just so everyone knows, that's not my type. I'm not that volatile, actually, emotionally.

But that. But this is the interesting thing is there are definitely people listening who are thinking, no, I've seen that before.

Yeah.

And it's something that. One of the things that when people find out, I study relationships and I'm sure the same thing happens to you. They share a bunch of relationship things. And so I actually had a friend of mine, years ago, say, just in casual conversation, like, oh, yeah, you know, my wife's a thrower. Like, a what now? A thrower. She goes, oh, yeah, yeah. Like, we get in a fight, she throws stuff at me.

Oh.

And he said it in the most matter of fact casual kind of way. And he had a name for it. He goes, colleen, your wife, she doesn't throw things at you. I'm like, never. Never. Never even crossed her mind. I could pretty much assure you. He goes, oh, that's cool. No, no, she's a thrower. My mom was a thrower. And it's like, wow, this is not a thing. And so it just. Sometimes we have to realize our experience is more limited than we realize. And sometimes in some pretty impactful ways, something as big as this, like throwing stuff, like, that's actually not normal. And so it just, it just kind of goes to show.

And what's sad about that particular guy is that I'm sure he's dated some women who are secure and aren't throwers and who show up and have a challenge in the relationship and just want to speak openly about it. And he's probably like, this is uncomfortable.

This is weird, right?

This is weird. Why are you not throwing things?

They don't care.

Like this? Yeah, I'm not used to this.

Yeah.

What's that?

They don't care.

Yeah.

You know, she doesn't care enough to get mad and throw things.

Right, Right.

And so, you know, we can misinterpret a lot of different things. So you still want to have the best relationship. We still have one more to go. We have the T in T. T is for. You want to have your best relationship. You want to get there as soon as possible. But T is for take your time. Take your time. Everybody wants. Dating is one of those things everybody wants to stop doing. It's a behavior you engage in that you actually want to stop doing. Because you never want to actually have to open an app again. You never want to go on an uncomfortable first, you don't want to have to do a bunch of those things. And so if you try to rush it, the faster you try to go, the longer it's going to take. 100% true. If you try to skip steps, you try to just jump right to, like, I'm just going to go find somebody. It's not going to work out. It's going to take you longer and you're going to have to keep reliving those mistakes if you keep trying to rush it. And so you have to ask yourself fundamentally, what's more important? Do you want to go fast or do you want to go far? Because quick doesn't lead to quality and fast doesn't lead to fulfillment. You have to take your time.

It's a tough pill to swallow, you know, And I think something we've intentionally done with our clients, and you and I have discussed this a lot, is what do they do the first four weeks of working with us because it's so important to have momentum. And we go back and forth. We're like, ah, we just want to get them dating as soon as possible, want to get them meeting guys, want to get them online dating so that within the first couple days, they're just talking to all these guys and they feel good. But we have intentionally set up this program where it's not until three weeks in, where it's even focused on meeting guys. And although it feels slow to some clients where they're just like, oh, my God, I just joined a dating coaching program. I want to just get out there and start meeting men and all this stuff. We're like, hold on. Let's start with you first. Then let's figure out what it is that you want. Learn about some really key information as to what to look for, including attachment styles. We talked about that a lot today. And then when we're prepared, then we hit it with a vengeance, but not until then. And it's like one of these things that it's kind of like a spring that you load. They're learning all this information and learn all this information. And then once they get to week three, then it's like, bam, hit the ground running. Start talking to all these guys with a new energy and new vengeance. That's where I want you to move fast. But up until that point, focus on yourself, creating the best possible product that you're going to then market. When you get out there, right, you are the product and then you're going to go market it. And if you do that, then you hit the ground running, start talking to guys. But then the crazy thing is, once you meet a guy you really like, you got to slow it down again. That's the general pace. That's how this whole thing works. Slow it down again. Let's not rush right into a relationship. But if you, if you follow that general process and that theme, that is what really sets you up for success. You move slow at the Beginning, focus on yourself, then hit it with a vengeance. Meeting lots of people as fast as you can. As many guys get out there. And then when you meet a guy you really like, slow it down again. That's the. That's the algorithm for success that we found over the years.

It's so funny that we're talking about this, because literally last night, I was holding one of our Mastermind sessions, and one of our clients, she's coming to the end of her subscription, and she raises her hand. She's like, I don't really have a question. I just. There's something I. You know, I'm coming to the end. She found her guy. And she's like, there's just something I really want to share. She's like, it's actually, I want to share two things. And the two things she shared were exactly the two things you just mentioned, which is, hey, you're going to want to go fast. I know. I wanted to go fast. And I tried to skip steps, and it wasn't. And I was skipping steps, and I wasn't getting anywhere. It wasn't until I actually stopped, paused, went back, and really leaned into the beginning material that I felt better about my amazing life. And then I felt ready to find the man to share that life with. And then once I did that, the second thing was slow it down. Pace, pace, pace. And she, like, it gets me goosebumps because, like, it's like, the happiest moment of, like, the things that we do is, like. Because we say this stuff all the time, but it's like, when the client, she's like, there's two things I have to share. And it just happened to be those exact two things. I was like, oh, this is it. This is why we do this. And she's like, I could not be happier, and I would not have found this man doing it the way I was doing it before.

And I'm like, I love that. I love that story. I didn't know about that. Thank you for sharing that with me. It's so empowering. When clients here from other clients. That's the best. Like, when. That's the best. When we. When it comes from us, you know, it has weight. When it comes from someone else is like, no, I actually do it. That's the key. So thank you, Gary. That was a lot of fun. And anything else you want to end with here?

Yeah, I think, you know, because we're talking about having the best relationship, and generally, a lot of people listen to this podcast to learn about dating I. I just really do want to emphasize this idea that dating is the start of your relationship. You don't think it necessarily starts, right, but this is the start of your relationship. How you date is out building habits now that's going to set up your relationship in the future, because you're not just trying to find somebody, you're trying to also, while you're dating, teach the other person how you need to be loved. Because that process, those habits are going to just kind of roll over into your relationship. So this is not like, oh, I'll just date one way and then I'll. Then I'll be serious about the relationship. That's not the way to make it work. It's get serious now. Date with intention, date strategically, because that lays the foundation for the. For the fulfilling relationship you really want to find.

Amen. Thanks, Gary. That's great.

Thanks, Adam.

All right. Thank you so much for being a part of the Love Strategies community. By getting to the end of the podcast, you have proven that you are a high value woman who deserves a long lasting relationship. And we would love to help you get there. So what I recommend you do is go to loveapply.com and you can claim a free love strategy session where someone on my team is going to get on a call with you on a zoom session, be able to understand your challenges, and see whether or not we can help you make that a reality this year. So head on over to loveapply.com, apply for that free love strategy session, and we cannot wait to help you attract that man you truly deserve. All right, thanks for being here.