4 Psychological Signs He's Falling in Love With You
11 Dec 2022 · 8 min
Dating coach Adam Lodolce breaks down four signs a man is falling in love: sustained eye contact, laughing together, dropping interest in other women, and willingness to change. He warns that words without actions don't count.
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Now, when I first met Jessica, oh, my God, was I in love. But guess what? I waited five months before telling her that. I mean, we met on January 1st, and I waited until May 22nd. And, yes, she reminds me of this every year when we get to May 22. So why did I wait? Now, the sad, weird truth is that in my last relationship before Jessica, I actually told her that I loved her very quickly. And I realized the moment that I said it that I actually didn't like her at all, really. So I ended up breaking up with her a week after telling her that I. I loved her, which caused the worst breakup imaginable. So I brought forward this fear to Jessica, which is why I waited five months. Does that make sense? I don't know. Let's get into the psychology of my brain. But the moral of the story is that a man could be falling in love with you, but he just hasn't said it yet. So here are four signs that you can look for that he actually is. Hey, there. My name is Adam Lodolce, founder of lovestrategies.com, where I help successful single women get out there and attract love with a proven strategy. And let's just jump into these four psychological signs that a man is falling in love with you. Number four is that he stops checking you out and he starts actually gazing into your eyes. The Journal of Psychological Science actually did a study on this, and what they did is had men take a look at photos of women that they were sexually interested in and then some photos of women that they loved. And what they found is that when men only had a sexual desire for that woman, surprise, surprise, men just looked at their body, and they're kind of like, checking them out, and they could see it with their eyes. But when a man was actually in love with the woman in the photo, he would actually gaze into her eyes. And I know this is not groundbreaking science because obviously that happens, but I definitely noticed myself even when I was falling in love. It does, like, internally as a man, go from this moment of, like, you're kind of checking her out and trying to get to know her sexually. And that's kind of how men date, is they're first drawn to a woman on a sexual level, but. But then it shifts where you look at her. It's just kind of like, oh, and you just start to feel something much, much different. And it's much less about checking out her body or anything like that, and much more about just wanting to kind of gaze into her soul. And that Sounds really cheesy, but it's true. And I think a lot of you women, if you're being honest with yourself, can really sense if whether or not a man is kind of checking you out or just like, only trying to get to know you on a sensual or sexual level versus actually getting to know you on an emotional level. And even just the way he looks at you can tell you a lot about a guy. I want you to leave a comment below. If you've ever noticed a difference between a guy checking you out versus a guy gazing into your eyes, leave that comment right there below. Now, the next sign that he's falling in love with you is that you just are always laughing together, especially at the dumbest jokes that really aren't that funny. There's some really interesting research that was published in the Evolutionary Psychology Journal and basically found that laughing at one another's jokes was a sign of dating interest in that person. And what they actually found, as you dove deeper into the data, is that, yes, it's important for you to both be laughing at each other's jokes, but a man in particular is really triggered emotionally when a woman is laughing at his jokes. Okay. That is really where the connection goes. And I get that. Okay. As a guy who tries to be funny but really isn't very funny, I see sense when I'm going out with someone and we just feel a connection, like she's laughing at my dumb jokes. Suddenly now I feel a closer and closer connection with that person. And it's kind of ridiculous, but it is kind of in line with my own personal life experience. And that is that men seem to care less about you being funny than they do about you laughing at their jokes. So they want to be with a woman who thinks that they're funny. They don't necessarily need to be a woman who is funny herself. Us guys just need so much validation. Now, it's not to say that if you're funny as a woman, like, that is a huge perk, and that is amazing. And create that amazing connection with guys. But if you don't find you're that kind of a funny person, that's okay. Just laugh at the guy's jokes, and he's probably gonna love you. The second psychological sign that he is falling in love with you is that he's just stopped caring about other women. So according to research published in the Journal of Comparative Neurology, what they essentially did was had men go into an mri, so they wanted to see their brain when they were actually falling in Love. And what they found is that when a man was falling in love, a certain part of his brain lit up that did not light up when it was only sex drive. And what they found is essentially their brain was actually programmed to focus solely on one person when they were falling in love. So if you're finding that a guy is asking you if you're seeing other people or he wants you to be his girlfriend, he's really trying to define the relationship, he's trying to push things forward, then it's possible and likely he's actually falling in love. There's definitely a primal bonding mechanism that happens in the earliest stages of dating where you are bonding with one another and you start to get really focused on one another. And if you're finding that he doesn't want to want to be with anyone else, he only wants to spend time with you, this is of course a very good sign. Now, this is of course a good thing if you like the guy and you want to see where it goes. But I do recommend if you are leaning into what we call the little love steps, then when you get to what we call little love step number five, I actually want you to slow things down. A lot of research shows that men actually fall in love faster than women do. And I want you to be the one who is pacing things appropriately. I want you to move fast forward in the connection at an authentically slow pace so that you don't go overboard. So many relationships just blow up three to six months down the line because they just go all in with one another and they don't move at an appropriate pace. And if you want to learn all the little love steps, exactly how this strategy works, I'll leave a link in the description where you can watch that free training or you can head on over to lovestrategies.com where we have an entire training that walks you through this entire process step by step. And the final psychological sign that a man is just falling in love with you is that he will try new things with you. Sometimes change is good. And a lot of studies show that when you're just starting to fall in love with a person, your kind of sense of self identity, it changes. And you become suddenly much more open to new experiences, new things become just a little less stubborn. Okay. Have you ever noticed that maybe when you're starting to fall in love with a person, you. You kind of start opening your life to them and you want to see what their life is all about? And that is a new experience into itself and ultimately that willingness to change for another person is a sign that you're falling in love. Now, I'm not advocating that you change who you are for a man, okay? That's not the idea. But when you do find yourself in a new relationship, everyone's gonna change a little bit. It's kind of like two people collide into one another, and you kind of find your groove with that person. And ultimately, you wanna hold onto your own identity. You wanna hold onto your life, your own friend group, your own personality. But when you are in a relationship, as time goes on, you definitely kind of mesh into one another in some ways in a healthy way. And I think that's very healthy in a relationship. And when you're in love. Now, before we wrap up this video, I do want to talk about one quick sign that a man is not falling in love with you, and that is that he is all audio and no video. Here's what that means. Basically, he's the type of guy who says, baby, I love you so much, I want to spend time with you. You're so beautiful. You're the most amazing woman. Audio, audio, audio. But he's actually not showing you the video, which is the actions. He's not actually showing up. He's not trying to take you out. He's the type of guy who say, oh, I'm gonna spend so much time with you, but then you don't hear from him for two weeks. He's the type of guy that says, oh, my God, I don't just want you sexually. I want to get to know you on a more emotional level. But he's always trying to bring you back to his bedroom, okay? That is the type of guy who is all audio and no video. What we want is someone who's both audio and video. The video part is the most important. I want them to show up. I want those actions, okay? Because that means so much more than words. So if you're finding yourself falling for a guy who's just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, he's saying all the right words, but he's not actually showing up. Take a step back. Lean into the little love steps. Don't allow yourself to overinvest too soon, because you know what? I want to see if that guy actually shows up for you. And I want to know if he's actually falling in love with you. Hope you enjoy this and talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.