5 Magnetic Phrases That Spark Chemistry on a First Date

Ladies, men do not fall for the way that you look. They fall for the way you make them feel. And that all starts with the words that you're saying. So in this video right now, I'm gonna be talking about five magnetic phrases that spark chemistry on a first date. This is all part of a new series that I'm doing, which is just me and you connecting one on one and me just kind of riffing a little bit, giving you some value in your love life that you can use quickly. My name is Adam lodolce. I'm an executive love coach, and I'm the CEO and founder of this company called Love Strategies, where we help successful single women get out there, attract long lasting love. And one thing that I've found is a consistent pattern with women in particular is when they're preparing for a first date, getting ready to go on that date, they tend to spend 90% of their energy on physical appearance, the makeup, the clothes, how they're gonna look on that date. And I get it. You've been told by society that this is what matters. But what I will tell you is that the true way to build emotional attraction with a guy is actually in the words that you say. So let's flip that a little bit. Let's put 90% of our energy into what it is that we're saying, how we're showing up, the vibe that we're bringing to that date. Now you might be saying, adam, guys just only care about looks. Come on, you don't know what you're talking about. Well, let's not forget, for starters, I happen to be a guy. The last time I checked, as well as before, I used to coach women just like you on how to attract love. I used to actually coach men. And I did this for five years. My career. That was the beginning of my career, just going back 15 years ago. Man, oh, man, where's time go? But what I used to do is work with some of the guys that you would probably look past. You weren't necessarily interested in all these guys. I would work with a lot of also very, very successful guys that you'd be interested in. Many of these guys were guys you would look right past, and I would coach them on how to build confidence, how to have the right type of body language, how to connect with women on an emotional level. So that's where I started my career. And when I would go out with these guys, I remember one of the first things we do is we would walk into an event or a party or a bar and I would kind of have them scan the room and I would talk to them and be like, well, who are you interested in talking to? And it was so fascinating to see the different types of women that these guys were interested in. It was like all over the map. But what would always tend to happen is they would be physically drawn to one type of woman, but once they would start a conversation with her, they actually would not be very interested after a couple minutes, and then they would slowly veer off to another woman, start a conversation there. And it might not have been the woman that he was initially interested in, but bam, the connection happens. It's all based on words and the connection and the conversation that existed. So if we know that to be true, then let's start putting our energy in the right place. Another thing I like about this idea is that the words that you say, that is the one thing that is truly within your control. Yeah. I mean, sure, you can improve your physical appearance with makeup and all of these things to a certain degree, but the big difference maker is changing our conversational repertoire. What it is that we're saying on these dates, and what I will say is that the research actually supports this idea as well, is that men tend to be drawn to women who use playful, creative language. And this is a study that was published in Scientific Reports and men rated women who use metaphorical or witty compliments as a more attractive than those women who just use plain or literal words. So, so what does that really mean for all of you listening? Well, the way that you phrase things can actually make him feel much more intrigued and way more connected to you right away. Like this is instant. So here are a few things that you can say. The first one, which is my favorite, is when you first meet a guy or you, you're on a first date with him, tell him he's trouble. You're trouble, aren't you? I love this one because it's a playful tease. It's flirty. It teases him just enough to keep things light hearted. In trouble. It's not like a very serious word. It's clearly like I'm being playful. I'm bringing some humor. It shows that you're not afraid to just have a little bit of fun in the conversation. And what's interesting about this word, where I think a lot of women struggle using it, is that the word trouble our whole lives tends to be a bad word. Right. It's something you wouldn't want to be in trouble. You wouldn't necessarily even want to call someone trouble. Like growing up in high school, if you're hanging out with the trouble crowd, that's not a good thing. But once we start dating, and certainly a little bit later in life, this weirdly becomes a positive word, becomes a fun, playful word. So throw it out there. Throw it out there. Even on a text, see how it goes. And let me know in the comments. The second magnetic phrase that you can use on a first day when you're meeting guys to say something along the lines of, I'm not usually like this. And that's like the big idea here. Now let's chunk it down to a few kind of key concepts. You could be like, on a first date, I'm not usually having this much fun on a first date. I haven't had a first day like this in a really long time. By saying those types of words, you are conveying to him that this is special, this is different. Right? Or for another example, let's say that you're on a first date and you do something really out of nowhere, impulsive or spontaneous, like you decide to just go to a random dive bar and go play darts. And it's something you would never do because you're in your 60s and you're like, that's so silly. You could say, like, I haven't done this in so long. This is so much fun. I'm not usually that type of a person, but this is a really, really fun surprise. Guess what? You're that connection with him because you're telling him, this is special, this is different. This is something I haven't experienced before. He's going to think to himself, okay, I'm doing a pretty good job over there. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and keep building this connection. Third phrase is actually a question which is asking him the most spontaneous thing he's ever done. Tell me the most spontaneous thing that you've ever done. The idea of this is for you to bring in the type of positive emotions where he can think back to himself. Something really fun, something really spontaneous. He's done be able to tell a story. And the thing is that we as humans will anchor emotionally to that experience in the present. So once he starts talking about that really fun thing that he did in the past, he's now going to start to feel all those positive emotions right now, and he's going to actually anchor that emotion onto you. So, so this is a really important technique, especially when you're on a first date and the conversation is just going into that dark rabbit Hole. You start talking about your exes, you start talking about work. Please, dear God, ladies, don't allow the conversation just to go into the workplace. It's not very exciting. This is really, really useful to just redirect the conversation. And it doesn't always have to be something about being spontaneous. It could just be, what's the most fun thing you've done in the last year? Now, once again, that's going to bring up this incredible AM Emotion into the conversation. He's going to think about that really fun time that he went on vacation in Barbados and then went surfing. And then out of nowhere, like, the waves just got so big and the sun was shining. And he's going to be in that moment. And guess what? He's going to anchor those emotions onto the date. As Maya Angelou says, people don't remember what it is that you say. They remember how you make them feel. And by asking him a question that elicits this type of emotional response, guess what he's going to connect that emotion to to you. All right, so this is a very, very important piece. And for those who are listening and want a little bit more help in this area of being able to captivate. Guys, I have a special seminar. I'll leave a link in the description as well. It's@lovecaptivation.com where I'm going to teach you the love Captivation code. It's where Dr. Gary Lewandowski, our chief love scientist here at Love Strategies, and myself, we get onto a seminar and we walk through the exact ways to captivate men on a deep emotional level. I think you're going to really enjoy it. Check it out. Click the link in the description or go to LoveCaptivation. Do calm. All right, on to the next. And so another magnetic phrase you can use, which is actually another question, is what's one thing that most people don't know about you? And when you ask this question, it's going to force him to go deep and to really think about what is something that I don't share with the world that I'm going to share with you now. And since these videos are all about authenticity, I feel like I need to be able to answer this for all of you. And the first thing that comes to mind is that I can actually be a pretty sensitive guy. Like, I can be a bit of a crier. And I think we've talked about that in podcasts previously, but that's not something that a lot of people in my friend group necessarily might know. But I can be a pretty sensitive guy. I mean, I might put on this kind of like, confident exterior kind of show when I'm talking to people, but I can also be a pretty sensitive guy. Now imagine if I was on a first date and I revealed that to you. Guess what happens now? We have a little bit of an inside secret between the two of us, right? This is something that only you and I now know together. Not only you and I, but this is something just between me and you. Don't share it. And that starts to build trust, right? That's going to build that intimacy. And that's what we want when we're on these first dates or on these second dates and we're starting to build that connection, invite him to share things about himself that he hasn't really revealed to a lot of people. Now, moving on to the final and probably most important phrase that you can use to build a connection. This is incredibly simple and basic. Basic, but incredibly powerful. You ready for it? Here it is. I really like you. Let me repeat. I really like you. The reason why I'm saying this obvious and simple phrase is because a lot of women do not say these core four words when they're on a first date or a second date. Because you have been taught by society all around to play hard, to get, to not show that those indicators of interest, to not give those green light signals, to just kind of hold back. And here at Love Strategies, when we teach what we call the seven little love steps, we are very, very intentional about moving slow with the first date as far as sleeping together and progressing the connection, the relationship. But at the same time, we are very comfortable being open about how we feel about a person being true, being authentic. And I know those two things can sound very counterintuitive, but they're not once you get deep into the seven little love steps. And so I really encourage everyone here who's listening in to just go on the next date. Look a man in the eyes if you're feeling it. Only if you're feeling it. All right, we're not going to say this to some Joe Schmo that you met at the local dive bar who's drinking Budweiser on the first day. He's probably not for you. You only say to the guy that you're really interested in that you really like, have the courage to step out and tell him, I really like you and see how it goes. I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised, so I'd love to hear from you in the comments. Below. If you try one of these, you can do it over text, but it's so much more effective to do it in real life. And if you want to Bit of help in your love life. This is all we do here at Love Strategies. We help women just like you be able to move forward in their love life with the right type of coaching, the right type of guidance, and the right type of strategy to attract that man in that relationship they truly deserve. So if you want a little bit of help, head on over to loveapply.com that kind of fast tracks you to our application to speak with someone on my team where we're going to dive deep into your unique situation and see if we can help you in your love life. So get out there, throw those words out there and let's start building those connections that you truly deserve. And if you enjoy the video and you want different types of topics, let me know in the comments. I'll check them out and I'll create some new videos just for you. All right, speak soon. Bye bye.