5 Must-Ask Questions to Get to Know Your Guy—Fast!

All right, so in today's podcast, we are going to be talking about the five must ask questions to get to know your guy fast. Because I'm willing to bet if you are getting out there, you're going on meetups, going on dates, probably thinking yourself, how do I actually learn more about this guy quickly so I can either say next or invest some more energy? And so that's what we're going to be going over today. Gary, I hope to get to know you a little bit more. I don't know if that's possible. I feel like I know everything about you.

Ooh, juicy.

Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else. Backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of love strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. My please share with a friend and enjoy.

Well, I hope you know these questions would help you do that, and I think they would. I'm such a big fan of all five of these questions. And I will tell you, getting it down to five was tough, but like these fives, it's per. Like I feel like they are the best possible questions. And what I like about this whole premise of this is so many of our clients are successful, highly accomplished, and what I find is true of everyone who fits that description is they care about efficiency. And maybe I'm just projecting because that I am efficiency obsessed. It doesn't like, it's not so much how long it takes, but it's like, am I doing this as quickly as I possibly can without wasted motion? And I hear that so often from our clients of like, gosh, I'm dying to get this note. Why is it taking so long to get to know this guy? And we have one client right now who is on date number eight with a guy and she's like, I just don't know about him. Like, wait, why? Why? It's like, what questions are you asking? Well, you know, we do a lot of chit chatting. I'm like, oh, well, there it is. There's your answer. Like, I mean, you're being very inefficient. And so, you know, without going too far into that, it's just this idea of, I think there's a way without just haranguing a guy with a ton of questions to just you pepper, in these five, you're going to get to know so much. And what we're going to do with each of them is kind of break down. What are you going to get to know? What a good response looks like, what bad responses look like. So it's like half as much, twice as well.

Yeah. I mean, I think this just goes to the classic idea of just a little bit of prep will save you so much pain later.

Yeah.

Because if you just. And when I say prep, just think about what is, what don't I know about this guy, and then bring one of these questions to the next meetup or date with him. And I'm telling you, it's going to just enlighten your world and for the good or for the bad. And I think the reason why people don't sometimes ask these types of questions, Gary, is because they don't want to know. They want to know, but they don't want to know because, man, he's tall and he's handsome, he's got a great job, you know, he's great with his kids. And do I really want to know if he's a good fit or not? I don't know. I just want to kind of keep this thing going.

Yeah, right.

And so I would just really encourage everyone. Don't just be info junkies listening to this stuff. Actually use it and get that knowledge so you can take action, like real action as a result.

Yeah, and I think I, I will. Before we get into the questions, I'm going to share the same caveat I share with clients every week on the masterminds, which is we're going to give you wording for these questions. There's nothing magical about the precise, exact wording of these things. So what I don't like, you write it down, take notes for sure, but don't, like, write it on your hand and then take it on a date so you're like reading off of your hand these exact words. It's not that the words are magical. It's make these words your own. And that's what makes this all work. Right. It's the ideas behind it. And so, you know, this is some of the. The secret sauce, as it were, that we bring to our clients and our masterminds. And we're going to share a little bit today.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. So let's. Should we just jump into it, Gary?

Can I do the first. I want to do the first One first one is like one of my all time favorite questions. And this is a question been asking on interviews my whole life. Anytime I've interviewed anybody, I've asked them this, some version of this question, which is my favorite question of all time. So, drum roll. What is the most common misconception people have about you? Right, this question. So what are you going to learn from this question? You're going to learn how this person thinks, what is their self awareness? What is their preferred identity? What is the identity they prefer, think they're projecting out into the world? And how do they deal with someone in that world not seeing them the way they want to be seen? So I love this question because so much of my own research is around your sense of self, your self concept, who you are as a person, your identity, and how that impacts relationships. And we know, not surprisingly, I think, that the impact of who you are as a person on your relationships, immensely powerful. And so with this, you ask this question, what is the most common misperception people have about you? And the most critical thing you're gonna get is you're gonna see how this guy thinks on his feet and how he processes an interpersonal question.

Yeah, it's also like, it's a very deep question in many ways. Like it really makes, you have to, by the nature of this question, you're actually cutting through the surface level stuff and being like, well, everyone else sees you one way, but what are they missing right now? What's, what's underneath the surface? Dude, let's go deep on this. I love it. I could picture clients maybe smoking a doobie with their guy. Did I go there? Don't do drugs, kids.

But drugs aren't cool. Stay in school.

I could picture myself in high school when I smoked my first joint thinking like, what is your biggest misconception? You know?

Yeah, but I think, you know, like we talk about so often in dating, we focus on traits. Do they like to go hiking, you know, what's their favorite activity? Or, you know, it's just the things you can read from a profile. This question is something you can never get from a profile. This is not something you can really get even from a text. Like you have to have this conversation because you also just want to see real live and in person. How do they process this? Because what I love about a lot of these questions, pretty much all of them, it's not things that people have prepared for because a lot of dating is like preparing for a job interview where you have a certain sense of the basic Questions people are going to ask, where'd you grow up? What was your family life like? Like, I mean, there's some basic standards. This is one that's going to come out of nowhere and they're going to be like, wait, what, what's that now? What's the biggest misconception? Wait, what? Wow. And like you get to see them think on their feet. And I think, I think that is so revealing because we want to know, can this person do that? Can they take perspective? Can they see the world through someone else's eyes? And so I think a really good answer for someone who has really high self understanding, someone who really knows themselves well, they should be able to answer this fairly quickly in the sense that, you know, people think I'm an extrovert, but I'm really more introverted, honestly. And like to recharge alone. Right. And so if you know yourself pretty well, that's one that would, would come out. That was easy for me to come up with an example because that's generally one of my standard responses to something like this is many people think I'm super extroverted, which I'm not actually. Like, I'm, I'm ambivert maybe. I don't know. But it's like I, I like alone time. Like, I'm fine like that.

That was the first one that came to mind for me as well. I mean, I am an extrovert, but I also am a big recharger. I'm a big, like, give me the full day. If we have an event with clients, like the next two days, I'm like, don't talk to me. I'm hole. Like, I just need total recharge alone time. Which is interesting because my wife is not that way at. In fact, her recharge time is like be with more people all the time.

Yeah. So she's a real extrovert.

She's like a true extrovert. But I'm thinking of like, that aside, I'm just imagining like the really masculine cowboy who's on a date and you ask him this question, he's just like, well, I cry sometimes, you know, like

something like solid, solid cowboy voice. By the way. Yee haw, Adam. Yee haw.

Yee haw. After the ranch, you know, milk my cows and shooting some of them. God, I'm such a city slicker.

I was gonna say, you're running out of material fast.

After that, I cry to myself. Like, I really think that, you know, I, I'm sensitive. I'm a very Sensitive man. And guess what? Like, let's say that cowboy does say something like that. It's a very extreme moment, but you know, it's a moment of vulnerability to actually share that. I think this is good stuff.

Yeah. And it opens up a lot of follow up questions. Right. It also opens up the possibility and you know, you should do this for all these questions, which is having your own response to this because you are going to put the guy on the spot because he's not expecting this question. And so you can always say, you know, well, sorry, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but you know, why you think about, like I thought about this for myself and for myself it's blank, blank, blank, blank, blank. So, you know, it's also a chance for you to be a little bit vulnerable in a way that's safe. Right. It's kind of on your own terms, which, which I think is helpful too.

Yeah, absolutely. So let's, let's move on to the next one, which is all about his relationships with his closest friends. And it could sound something like, you know, how would you describe your relationships with your closest friends or family? And maybe even to go deeper, you could ask, like, especially during those really challenging times. And I think that this is a really, really good one because the quality of our platonic and familial relationships typically mirror the quality of our romantic relationships. They, it's not exact in many ways, but they tend to correlate with one another. And you're going to get a feel for his attachment style, right? How it is that he connects with other people, what they think, what he thinks about his kind of support system, his familial relationships, how he handles emotional intimacy. Right. If they're comfortable with their relationships, how he handles stress and conflict. I mean, you're going to learn a lot based on just generally speaking, what his relationships are like with all of his closest friends and family. And if he's coming back and saying, look, let me tell you, every single person in my life is crazy and that's why I've cut them all off. And I don't want to talk to a single person, I just want to be with you, run.

Right?

Run for the hills. Whereas if it's a more nuanced understanding and look, no one has perfect relationships and you're not even looking for that. You're looking at how he perceives these relationships and yet how he handles these conflicts. So let's say he had a challenging childhood with a parent, with his mother or father. He could certainly reveal the challenges he had growing up. But a great response might be what he's learned from that and how he's grown from it. Or if he's having challenges with someone at work. Talking about that. Everyone's got challenges at work, everyone's got interpersonal conflict. But how does he handle those situations? And has he think about it, how does he navigate that? Is he constantly playing the victim card? Like, everyone around me is the problem they need to change, yada, yada, yada, or is he taking some ownership? I think you learn a lot about a person with this question. Are you ready to dive deep into the male mind and understand why it is we do what we actually do? Well, if so, I have a free training that's going to really help you understand men. Get out there and attract a high value guy that meets your needs. If you're ready for that, head on over to the lovesteps.com we have a virtual training there. It's going to walk you through this exact process that's worked for over 10,000 women worldwide. Again, head on over to TheLovesSteps.com and yeah, check it out. We'll get back to the podcast now.

Yeah, because when it comes down to it, one of the two of the questions you should want to ask when you start dating somebody is what's your attachment style? And how do you handle conflict? But you can't just come right out and ask those things. It sounds a little much. Right. And so this question is ideal to navigate around both of those issues in a way that's conversational and you can really, you, you can learn a ton. Right? And so I think a good response to this question is I try to talk through things calmly and understand the other person's perspective. Like, that's a really secure response. They're addressing the problem. They're dealing with conflict head on. You know, someone, they might also say, you know, I don't avoid tough conversations. Or, you know, I always trust that we can work through issues together. Right. And it's like, that's much better than some of the bad responses, which is, you know, when things get rough, I shut down and I need days by myself. Like, I just, I run from problems. Like, I just, I block the world out and I don't want to deal with it. Or, you know, I get really anxious. I need constant reassurance that everything's okay. Like that sounds a little bit more anxious. And so a lot of this, again, is just how somebody reacts to this question. Are they being Thoughtful. And like Adam said, are they. Are they playing the victim and blaming everything everybody else around them, are they, you know, taking a little bit of ownership about how. How they deal with things and how they address situations?

I'm just imagining a client on a date with a cowboy and being like, so, cowboy, what's your attachment style? Right? Attachment style. My. My accent. God, I really need to sit and work on my. My accents, man. Attachment style. What is that?

What into our nation is an attachment style.

That's pretty good.

Good.

That's pretty good.

I got some friends that live in the country.

That's really good.

All right, so, yeah, let's move on.

I could riff on this cowboy thing. I'll leave the audience to.

All right, partner, so let's move on to number three. So number the number three question of the three of the questions you need to ask to really get to know a guy fast is describe your ideal ordinary day. And now, importantly, ordinary is super important because. And you want to clarify this. This is not your vacation. This is not a special occasion. This is not, you know, if you win a million dollars, how would you spend that day kind of thing? It's like, no, no. What's your basic Tuesday? And what would make you consistently happy? Right? Because this is actually the stuff that your relationship is going to be mostly full of ordinary, everyday Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays and Fridays and all the days. But, like, you're gonna have mostly ordinary days. And so, like, let's ask, let's see how he thinks about those ordinary days. Because what you're gonna learn about this guy is what's his consistent state? What's his typical. What's his, you know, nerdy term homeostasis? Like, what is his typical everyday kind of state of being? And you're gonna learn about his priorities and values. You're gonna learn about some work life balance things. Like, in his typical ordinary day, is he working a lot? Is he spending time with other people? Is he super active? Like, I know such a big concern for our clients. They're most of our clients because they're successful. They are like, go, go, go, go, go. Like, they're constantly want to do things like they're out there doing. And one of the biggest disappointments they have is like, when the guy's like, nah, I just want to sit here and watch tv. And so, you know, you find out their ordinary days sitting around on the couch, you know, with a bowl of popcorn, watching Netflix for the entire day. Well, that you're going to learn Something and like, what a great question that no one gets asked on a date. Right?

Right. Well, all the questions on a date is, tell me your perfect dream life. What does it look like knowing that 99.999% of these people are not going to achieve their dream life? So, like, there is something to that question. I'm not totally against that. I think that is a different set of information you get from person with their future values and where they're going. But this one just kind of gets you into the reality of the now. Right. It just. And it's not just like, tell me what you do every day. It's like, tell me about your ideal ordinary day. And it does give you those priorities. It does give you those values, man. I'm trying to think of mine. I'm thinking like, just a good night's sleep, a little bit of work, go kite surfing, date night with the wife, hang out with some other people. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Right. But like, how. How important is that answer? So much more important than what's your ideal vacation? Right, Right. It's like, I don't know. And I think, you know, in terms of a good response, there's not necessarily a standard good response. I think the thing you're really looking for is not whether the answer is good or not, it. But it's only good to the extent it's compatible with your ideal ordinary day. Right. If their ordinary day is sitting around all day doing nothing and yours is going out and being active, that's illuminating, we'll say that's going to tell you something if they want to include their partner in their ordinary day. And your ordinary, best ordinary day is doing something by yourself. Okay. Like that also tell. And so this is why I think this question is so important. Because again, you know your future relationship is going to be filled with a lot of ordinary days that with the right person, become extraordinary.

Yeah. This is so funny. It reminds me of a client. I can't say her. I wouldn't say her name, but you probably may or may not know who I'm talking about. But she comes on a mastermind one time is like, Adam, I'm meeting all these guys who are so active, they like to do stuff every weekend. They love to go out to really nice dinners, they like to play golf. They like to. They just want to, like, get me doing all this stuff. And I'm like, amazing. That sounds great. She's like, adam, I don't want to do anything. I'm the type of person that sits at home. And I just like to watch tv, I like to make my tea, and I, like, literally don't want to leave the house from Friday night till Sunday night. Like, don't get me out of the house. As I'm listening to this, I'm like, cool, Totally fine. And she did find someone who meets that criteria, which is incredible. They can have their. Their boring life together. But it's so funny to me because I'm just like, oh, God, that is so antithetical to me. Like, me. And when I was thinking, when I was talking to her, I'm just like, man, me and you would just never get along. We'd be such a bad match for each other, right?

But what's hilarious, that is the magic of relationships, right? It's not that any person is a good relationship, partner or not. It has everything to do with how their likes and desires and their ordinary day syncs up and matches up and aligns with yours. And it's. It's something that. When I'm sure the fact that when I just said that, most of you listening are like, well, that's obvious. It's so obvious. But yet we don't necessarily date with those things in mind. We date based on traits instead of some of these dynamics. And the dynamics, hugely, hugely important.

Well, we date with ideals. We're always thinking about this idealized version of the other person because we're in that early phase of dating where we. We idealize a person. We just, we. We don't think about how in three months it's just going to become super normalized to just sit next to this person on the couch, he farts, and then you laugh and you continue watching tv. Like, or maybe, maybe it takes a year to get to that point. I don't know. That's probably more realistic. But 90% of 98% of your time spent in a relationship tends to be pretty boring. Like, you're just kind of hanging out with each other. All right, maybe 90% if you have a good one. But, like, you get my point. So I think it's really just creating compatibility with that. So moving on to the next question, which is one of my favorites because it twists a question I think a lot of people typically ask, which is tell me about your past relationships, which I think is not a good question because it just opens the door to exes and venting about divorce and so on and so forth. This frames it a little bit differently, which is how have your past relationships shaped what you're looking for? In a partner now. Ooh, there's a little bit of spice there. I'm feeling that spice with this. But I think you learn so much from this question of how your past relationship shaped you into your being now, because you're going to really learn about do they know what they really want from a partner or relationship? Have they actually gone through that process of reflecting on past experiences and these ideal that they used to have? How have they processed the past? Like, have they gone through this horrible divorce and are just still lingering and ruminating on that divorce and focusing on how, oh, those three past ex wives are just, they were all out to get me. Or are they thinking to themselves, you know what, I made some tough decisions in the past, I made some wrong decisions. And I've learned a lot through that experience. I read a lot about this and I've been focusing my energy now on looking for a partner who is X, Y and Z. You know, I think you can just, you learn so much about a person's thought process when they answer this question. So this is a good one. Gary.

Yeah, I. What I've come to learn about our clients over the last several years and our podcast listeners is there's a, there's a certain trait they all share, and it's this desire to grow, to learn, this desire for improvement, for expansion, to become more educated. And what I like about the twist on this question is this idea of how has it shaped you? Because it invites the guy to share his insights, philosophy, even about growth and change. And, you know, the fact of life is we're all going to go through hard times and sometimes we're going to have some hard relationships. But it's what do you, what do you take from those experiences? What do you, can you extract the lesson? Can you learn from that past experience to realize, I don't want a partner who's A, B and C. I'm really looking for someone who's X, Y and Z. And I think if you really again, think to the dynamics and you think of some of like those interpersonal traits you really value. If you're listening to this podcast, you care about growth. You care about someone who's smart and insightful. This gives that guy a chance to flex some of those insight muscles to see if he's able to grow and change and learn from a past relationship, good or bad. Right? It doesn't even necessarily have to be a bad past relationship. It could be a good, you know, we were great in all these ways, but there was this one thing and What I really learned was blank. And it's like, it's. It's such a fertile ground for a guy to really share how thoughtful he is. And so I think good answers to this question are him being specific instead of vague. Oh, well, you know, I learned, you know, there's some women I just don't like. Like, that's a. That's not a good answer. But it's like, is he able to take responsibility? Is able to be specific? Like, oh, I really figured out that I'm. I really value someone who's more curious than judgmental. Oh, like, that boy doesn't that. That's not only a good insight, but that sounds like a pretty darn good quality to have in a future partner.

Is he also, don't judge him if he says that. All right? So if he said don't, don't judge him. All right?

Or else it's curious. Be curious.

Be curious.

But I think, you know, it's. It's also, when you ask this kind of question, you're not necessarily focusing on the emotional things, but does he focus on the emotional things or does he focus on the practical things? Oh, well, I learned I can't, you know, date somebody that doesn't put the cat back on the toothpaste. Okay. Like, you know. But I also think it's interesting. You will get some unintentionally revealing information where they might say, I need to date someone who's not a narcissist. Okay. All right. So now we have a little bit of insight into who you were dating and who you thought was responsible versus, you know, taking more responsibility, which is, I need to hold more boundaries early in a relationship, that's another way to say the same thing. Right?

Right. Hot take, Gary. Oh, but here it is. If you or the guy you're with says that everyone that they've dated is a narcissist, and I'm telling, like, they're like, everyone I've dated is a narcissist. Be very careful. That is a massive red flag.

Agree.

Because the type of people who say that, they tend to be narcissists themselves.

Spicy. Spicy take.

Is that a spicy take?

It's a spicy take. Here's. Here's the great news. Research backs it up completely.

Oh, thank God.

Completely. And it's like, no. And we've actually. I don't look at the. The podcast comments all the time, but one. We've talked. We talked about this on a previous episode, and somebody was very mad that we. I'm gonna Blame you. You said this, but this is completely validated by research, is that people who have narcissistic tendencies are attracted to fellow narcissists because there's something about like, ooh, they like the spotlight, they're charismatic. It's appealing because we are attracted to things that we aspire to be. And so when you see some of these narcissistic traits in somebody else, it resonates with you because you're kind of like that and want to be a little bit like that versus someone who's not very narcissistic, sees that attention seeking behavior, and they're like, ew, gross. Right, right. And it's, it's not something we often think about. And it sounds a little bit like blaming the victim because it, you know, when you're, when you've been with somebody who's narcissistic, that sucks. I mean, that's a terrible experience. But it's, you know, control the controllables and, you know, it's always easier to look within than blame. Without.

No doubt. No doubt. And, and obviously, yeah, like you said, some people have been married to a narcissist for 20, 30 years. That's a very different situation than someone who says that they've been with everyone they've ever dated is a narcissist. So. Right. It's very different. But bring on the comments. Let's go. Look, I think the goal of this podcast is you don't have to agree with everything we say, but hopefully it makes you think a little bit differently.

Amen. That's, you know, you just sounded, you know what, you just sounded like what? A good college professor. Oh, right. Like that's exactly what it's the whole point of education. It's like, you don't have to agree. I'm not trying to give you ideas to agree or disagree. Agree with. A lot of times it's like just challenging the way you think so that whatever conclusion you arrive at is more well thought out. And so, you know, you don't have to agree. I mean, the research says it's true, but I mean, you can still even see the nuance in that and just work with that to more fully develop your own ideas.

In fact, like, we've said this internally a number of times and I feel this pretty strongly where our coaches will have one on one coaching calls with our like, VIP clients. And if those one on one coaching calls are, they're like, they're too high sometimes, like 10 out of 10 reviews on those calls, I'm like, are we challenging them enough? Like, because I want a good negative review every once in a while. I want someone to get off a call every once in a while where I'm talking to them and like, oh, I hate that Adam. He's so annoying. Like, what is his problem? He's so stupid with that hair. And can you just shut up?

But.

And then they give me a bad review and that's great. But then it kind of sinks in for a couple days and then kind of sticks with them. Clearly it pissed them off enough that they wanted to leave that review. And then they come back and like, you know, huh, maybe I will take a deeper look at that situation. And then three months later, they're in the best relationship of their life. Hey, I'll take the bad review for that.

Yeah, you know, it's again, this is like being a good teacher. A good coach is you're always playing the long game. And so anybody gets upset here and now in the moment because they've been challenged on an existing belief or pattern, I'll take it because I care more about what's going to happen to you in three months and six months. Like, it's all the down the road stuff. And I know a little short term pain with support, little tough love now is going to get you where you want to be in six months. And if we're not, if you don't have someone there to kind of push you along, it's going to be harder to get there. And so that, that combination of pushing with support, that's the magic combination. And again, it's not always today that it happens. It sometimes takes a little bit.

Yeah, we care about, we care more about your future self than your current self, if I'm being honest, which actually segues.

Perfect segue.

Perfect. Perfect. In the final question, which is the classic, where do you see yourself in five years? And this is a really good one. But I think people know about this question, but they don't use it enough. In my experience, they don't actually ask this question. And I'm wondering if it's because they're concerned that perhaps this is too forward to ask someone. I'm not sure why, but that's my hypothesis. I always wonder why people don't like to ask this question. And maybe it's not a first date question. It could be a second or a third date question. But where do you see yourself in the next five years? Are you aligned in the goals of what you're looking for? It really does reveal their priority Priorities. It reveals their ambitions, their lifestyle, how relationships actually fit into their life. If he's like, look, I want to live on an island off of Thailand and go partying at, you know, what are they, full moon parties every month?

White Lotus.

Yeah. White Lotus.

Yes.

Oh, my God, what an ending. Okay, I'm not. I'm not gonna get into that because I don't want to be a spoiler, but if you haven't watched White Lotus, go for it for sure. But, yeah, it's. It gives. It's very revealing, you know, whereas, are they really thoughtful enough? Clarity. And they're the type of person who's like, yeah, in five years, I would love to, you know, retire, live outside the city, buy a piece of property, and be with a person who makes my heart sing. And you're like, yes, we're totally led. It gives you just that vision into their ideal future, you know, I love it.

Well, you know, I started off this podcast with the warning of, you know, don't memorize these. You know, make these your own. Still true. But this is one. This question is very specific in the sense that it's, where do you see yourself in five years? You're talking about why people hesitate to use it. Make sure you don't alter this question to be about relationships. Love, partnering. Anything about relationships.

Yeah.

Or retirement or marriage or, like, there's a self.

Married in five years.

Right, right. Like, that's a terrible question. Do you see yourself. Do you see us together in five years? Like, asking out on a first date, that guy, he can't get out of there fast enough.

Not after that question.

Right. And so I do think, like, this is one. Like, just stick to the plan. Stick to the where do you see yourself in five years? And then you get a chance to hear a good response from a guy. You know, in five years, I hope to grow personally and professionally and spending time with the people I love. Great response. But I know I've heard this from clients because our clients, we teach them to ask these kinds of questions, and they'll report back how it goes, and they'll say, you know, just had one two weeks ago. Said, you know, I asked the five year question. And he said, I don't really think that far ahead. I just go with the flow, and I live one day at a time and see what happens. And she's like, is that a good sign? No. No, it's not. I mean, it's great for him. Like, I don't. I'm not judging that response necessarily. Like, people are more than welcome to live that. But that's not great for relationship intent. It's not someone who's commitment oriented. It doesn't sound like somebody who's relationship ready or in a space to prioritize a relationship. And again, for that person, good for them. But not necessarily. If you're someone looking for long term fulfilling relationship.

Oh, my God. If I was asked that question when I was like 25 and just playing the dating game and one was like, where do you see yourself in five years? I'm like, I don't know. I don't, I don't even worry about that. Let's just focus on, focus on you and me and writing. And if I could go back in time and slap that kid over the face, across the face, I would, I would. Now that I'm getting into the big four zero, you know, I'm getting a little bit older, grayer hair and turning 40, man. I think back to those moments. I'm just like, oh, God. But that is what a guy would respond with if he's not serious about anything. He's like, oh, you know, let's not do that. You know, Instead, actually, I got a great movie back at my place. I got some, some good music too. We can hang out. Great bottle of wine. No, it's.

And it's great though, because guys will answer this honestly. They don't necessarily see it as a trap question. And I think they will give that kind of response like, oh, I don't think that far ahead. Let's just focus on now, baby. And it. They think that that sounds philosophical and intellectual and cool and, and maybe it does, but it's also revealing in terms of what their priorities are. And that's why we ask these kind of questions. Because if you can, you can just take these five questions and incorporate them into your dating repertoire, you're going to learn a ton more about guys a lot faster than by asking them long lists of 20 or 30 questions.

Amen. So for those who are listening right now and you want these questions, we'll post them in lovestrategies.com we'll post them on the blog. Gary, you can put that in the, in the notes so you have them, but I'll just do a quick review for those who are just listening and want to have them. First question is, what is the most common misconception people have about you? The second question is, how would you describe your relationship with your closest friends or family members, particularly during challenging times? The third one is, describe your ideal ordinary day. The fourth one is how have your past relationships shaped what you're looking for in a partner now? And the last one, where do you see yourself in five years? Go out there. Go use these. Make sure you have a great response because the guy's gonna ask you them back to you. So prepare a little bit, and we can't wait to walk with you every single step of the way. If you want more help in your love life, we are here as your executive love coaches at any time if you ever want to work with us. Lovestrategies.com thank you, Gary. You are awesome. This was fantastic.

All right, thanks, Adam.

So now you've reached the end of the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. And because you have proven that you are serious about attracting love, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast if you didn't feel that way. What I'd love for you to do is go to loveapply.com where you can apply for a complimentary love strategy session where a professional love strategist on my team is going to speak with you directly and be able to see whether or not our executive love coaching programs can be transformational for you and your love life. There's absolutely no fee whatsoever. All you got to do is head on over to loveapply.com schedule that session, and you could be speaking with someone on my team over the next couple of weeks. Days. All right, thanks so much. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.