5 Powerful Compliments That Capture Men's Attention

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On some level, he is competing against every guy in your past you've ever dated. He wants to be better than all those guys. He also definitely wants to be better than all the guys that you may be currently dating now. Right? And so anything you can do to compliment him in a way that reassures him that he's winning that he has status above these past, present, or even future guys, like, that he is that good is really, really important.

Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're a single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else. Backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Gary, have I ever told you how drop dead gorgeous you are? If I ever told you that you are so handsome.

Oh, my God, that's. I mean, boring. Basic. I've heard it all before.

You're not into it. Compliment. Come on, man.

I hear it. I hear it all the time.

You can throw it this way if you want. It's okay.

You're okay.

You're nice.

You'Re charming. I like it. You gotta. You gotta. Your hair is amazing.

Gary's got game. Thank you. Thank you. Gary's got game, let me tell you. But today, ladies, we're gonna be talking about five powerful compliments that capture men's attention. And they're gonna be better than that one, right, Gary? I think so, yeah. I mean, you are handsome. You're a handsome guy.

But I do appreciate it. I mean, you know, it takes one to know one, I feel. But, you know, it's.

I know you called me like a six, but that's cool. I'll take it That's. That's what I got from that. Like, I'm.

Okay. I meant Sincerely, a solid six, which is different than just a six.

At least give me a 6.5. That's what. That's when you know you're, like, in college, as if you're at the.05 on the rating scale. He's like, yeah, he's. He's like a 7.5. It's like, wow, that's really specific.

Just say you don't like him enough to be an eight. That's all you really need to say.

Exactly. So this is going to be a really good one. I think you all are going to really enjoy. Because the thing is, knowing what to say, it can be really hard. Like, you don't want to say the wrong thing when you're dating and you're giving compliments. So it's easy to stick to, like, what is really safe. What's. Classic standby phrases such as, like, you're so handsome. But the, the problem is that it can be actually quite boring and standard to say this. Not to say, like, hey, if you call a guy handsome, he's probably gonna like it. But there are better compliments that you can give someone that really connects with them on a much more emotional level. All right, Gary?

Yeah. I mean, these boring phrases are super common because it's hard to know what to say, and no one wants to say the wrong thing, so it's very easy to say the most obvious thing. And so as much as any guy wants to hear, you're handsome, you're good looking, I really like your car, I really like what you're wearing. All those things are things that he's frankly heard before. And it doesn't make you stand out. It doesn't make you kind of rise above all the other women he's possibly met in his life. And so that's really why you want to avoid those basic phrases and, you know, look for just better compliments.

Yeah. And I should say with all this, like, we're going to give you some really good compliments that you can use with men. But I should say, like, women generally don't give as many compliments as men do. In my, like, in my experience, men tend to give more compliments for whatever reason. Gary, maybe you could talk about the psychology that. I don't know if you agree with that, but I've coached both men and women and. And men tend to just throw around compliments all the time. You're so special, you're so beautiful, yada. Yada, yada. I can count on, like, both hands how many, like, true compliments I've got from a woman. Maybe not for my wife, like, wife excluded, but, like, when dating, when I'm not in an exclusive relationship, I feel like it was pretty rare to, like, have a woman really look at me and give me, like, a genuine compliment.

Yeah. I think it's because women perceive guys as being super confident. And if you perceive somebody as being super confident, you're like, oh, they don't need to hear it. They already know this. But, you know, the truth is, like, you know, as a guy, we can kind of admit, like, some of that confidence is fake and falsified. Like, it's a little fake. Fake it till you make it. And so what you're seeing is, like, true, authentic, definite confidence is him projecting and trying to portray this image of confidence. So all of which is a long way of saying he would love to hear your compliments.

Yeah. And I think. I also think, like, women in particular do not want to come off as needy. And in many ways, like, giving someone a compliment is in some ways lowering your status to a degree. Like, it's when you're dating, it's kind of a status game to a degree. It's like, who. Who has. Holds all the cards? Who has all the power? And when you give someone a compliment, suddenly now you're kind of handing over a chip. And I think women in particular have a concern about. Yeah. Like, coming off as, like, oh, I'm now showing him all my cards. Now he knows. But the reality is, like, if you're able to deliver a compliment to a guy who has earned the compliment, earned is very important, then suddenly you're building a really genuine connection with him. He's going to love to hear it. Like, absolutely going to love to hear it. Yeah.

I think I would have to just push back on that a little bit because I think you're giving over a chip and you're kind of losing power. If you're doing this in the standard way that people always give compliments, like, you're so amazing.

I want to be really clear about what I meant, though. Maybe I didn't make it clear. I think people feel that they're doing that. I'm not saying that they are. Yeah, sure. I just want to make sure that that's clear. Like, I'm not saying.

Yeah, agree. I don't think they are. But I think the feeling that way is problematic. When you're like, you're so amazing and you just say These common things that everybody says that isn't really special, that do give away your power. But I also think when you're complementing something, and particularly some of the ways we're going to share today, it shows an appreciation, right? It's like when you're, you know, you go wine tasting and you give compliments to the wine, it's showing that you have a certain value yourself and a certain knowledge and a certain appreciation. And so a lot of the compliments we're going to share today and the style that we're going to suggest you do this in is much more of that appreciation for something good, where kind of someone of high value recognizes this other characteristic of high value in their counterpart. They're equal. Not as a oh, my gosh, you're amazing kind of way.

Do you feel like I'm a, I'm a fine wine? I don't know, like you can compliment. I, I, I, I look at you as more of like a boxed wine, Like a box of wine. Personally.

Just three unique podcast hosts, I get it.

No, Gary, you are the finest Southern French wine one can get full of. What is it? I don't know anything about wine. Vasticity. There's a, there's a name for it. Oh, God, what is that word? Viscosity.

Thank you.

I'm just a guy from Boston. I drink beer. What can I say? Let's get, let's get these women to their compliments, because I think that this can be really, really helpful for you. So we're going to break these down into the five Cs. Yes, they all start with C. Five Cs of compliments that you can give. So the first one is complimenting his character. All right? This is skipping the superficial looks, the outfit, you know, his car, all of these things. And because, again, those are the things that a lot of women might compliment a guy, even his apartment. Although when do you ever really compliment a guy's apartment? It's usually kind of a dump. But when you compliment a man's character, you're going to show him that you're seeing things about him that others probably don't see or haven't seen yet. And this is a way to dig deeper and focus on his character traits, his wisdom, him being insightful when you're having a conversation with him, if he's being really humble, if he has really high integrity in a certain situation that he's telling you about, if he's being extremely kind to someone else, if he's displaying a high degree of Emotional intelligence, let's say you get in an argument and he shows you that he really understands you and he changes his perspective and he changes his behavior. Like, wow, I just want to tell you, like, I really appreciate you being able to understand me emotionally. Like that takes a high degree of emotional intelligence and I appreciate that. Like, that is going to give him a reward to want to continue doing those things. If he's dependable, if he has really good listening skills. All of these things just kind of encompass this idea of his general character. And if you're complimenting this, then suddenly he's going to do more of those things as well as he's going to feel seen, he's going to feel heard, he's going to feel like you really understand him. So yeah, I think that's a really important one. Are you tired of committing your heart to a man who only just pulls away? Well, if so, we have a very special presentation that's available to our podcast listeners. It's at a special link. It's called he commits.com and it's going to walk you through the five secret strategies that make men commit. Head on over to he commits.com. it's only available for a short period of time. I going to like it a lot. All right, back to the podcast.

And these are just things that he hasn't heard that much, right? Other people are not pointing these things out. It's like Adam said, you know, they're focusing on superficial things, like, I really like your watch. Or even like superficial traits that are easy to point out, like, oh my gosh, you're so funny. You know how many times he's heard that? Like he wants to be funny, don't get me wrong. But he's heard that compliment a lot. But if you could say, you know, what I really like about your sense of humor is it's insightful. Oh, I've not heard that before. Like that shows a. And this is what I was talking about earlier about a level of appreciation that not only raises him up, but also raises your value too. Because he starts hearing you compliment him on his emotional intelligence or being insightful or being humble, all of a sudden he's like, huh, this woman sees things that others don't and appreciates these higher level qualities. And so if you appreciate these higher level qualities, it raises your status in his mind too. So this is a compliment that it's a sincere, authentic compliment of something he's doing, something he's earned. But it's also the type of compliment that raises Your status in his eyes as well.

Yeah, I agree. It really shows that you are intuitive enough to notice these things. And he's gonna. That's where someone walks away and, like, feel, like will say things like, I feel like I have a really genuine connection with her. Right. People just love to hear things about themselves. Honestly. It's just part of human nature, especially when they're positive and they're insightful. So character compliments are really, really important. Gary, you want to take us to the second one?

Sure. So the second one is compliment his contribution. Instead of focusing on who he is now, focus on the future. Like, be a little bit more aspirational. And so highlighting things like his accomplishments, success, impact going forward, his legacy. Everybody likes to think of themselves as leaving a legacy and just general fulfillment. And so one of the things you want to do with these types of compliments is also not only kind of make it future oriented, Right. Looking forward, looking long term, but also show how you possibly play a role in that. Right. And so a compliment of this sort could be, you know, with the right person by your side, you're going to be unstoppable. Right. Just kind of, like, amplifying him and just showing, like, wow, you are going to be amazing. Looking ahead. I just see great things for you in your future. Like, what a compliment. Like, you. Like, someone gives me that kind of compliment. I feel like running through a wall, like. Like, yeah, like, I'm ready to go if people are giving me that kind of.

Gary, it gave me the chills, and you weren't even giving me the compliment. I was like, oh, thank you. Like, a part of my brain, like, registered that towards me. I'm like, really? I'm gonna do great things. Thank you.

Well, Adam, let me tell you, I can just tell from your character that you really are going to make a difference in so many people's lives.

Gary, you are so sweet. You want to get married? Let's do it.

Done.

Done, but done.

That's the kind of compliment, right? Like, you know, we said, it's not about, like, you're. You're. It's. It's sincere, but it. It's this kind of thing that he doesn't typically hear, and it's going to kind of make him. Wow. Like, he can't help but notice how different this is when you're saying, I think you're going to make such a big impact on so many people's lives. Like, who doesn't want to think that they're going to be able to do that, and if he has sincerely earned your compliment of that nature, oh, my gosh, that's, that's date changing big time.

And a huge insecurity that men have, I would say much more than women do, is this insecurity that they can't provide. A lot of men if they are not in a financial place in their life. It's very, very hard for them to commit to a woman because they know that whether this is logical or not, it's just based on thousands, hundreds of thousands of years of evolution that we need to be the providers. We need to be, go out there and hunt and bring back the food. And I think for men, when we hear this from a woman, that they genuinely support us and see us contributing to the world and doing something amazing like that means a lot to a man, especially if he's still at a point where he's kind of figuring it out, but he's starting to get some momentum by giving him that support system. Only if you truly believe it. Like, only if you truly believe it. Don't, you know, obviously don't do this just to, you know, boost his, his ego here. It, it says a lot about a man and, and wanting to commit to a woman because in his eyes, he's going to think, wow, going to actually be a partnership and we're going to work on this together. And so I think complimenting his, his contributions is extremely powerful. I highly, highly recommend doing it, for sure. The third one is complimenting his capability. Now, here's the thing. Guys are extremely competitive by nature. I mean, so are women. But men tend to have a competitive nature in, in a different way, I would say, than women. And part of them in particular is competing against every other guy when they're going out there and dating and trying to meet women. And the thing is, it's really helpful for you to build this connection and make him want to lean in and continue to investing in you. If he knows what he's really good at. Right. If he knows what he's. He's doing, well, tell him. Right. How is he doing? If you tell him, like, wow, you're not like the other guys I've met. You're really impressive. Or, or you might just be the most fascinating guy I've ever dated. Right. And creating this, like, this idea of, of his capability showing up in the relationship and complimenting that and acknowledging that is only going to, again, reinforce his messaging for him to continue doing it.

Yeah. Let him know that he's winning. Right. Because he 100% guarantee on some level, he is competing against every guy in your past you've ever dated. He wants to be better than all those guys. He also definitely wants to be better than all the guys that you may be currently dating now. Right. And so anything you can do to compliment him in a way that reassures him that he's winning, that he has status above these past, present, or even future guys, like, that he is that good is really, really important. And it's the kind of compliment, again, that's going to show greater insight on your part. It's going to really boost them up, and it's not the kind of compliment that he's going to, you know, have received very often in the past.

Yep, exactly. Okay, you want to take us to the second one? The fourth one?

Yeah. So this. The fourth one is compliment his congruence. Congruence we use. We needed to see. Right. But so congruence actually makes a lot of sense in the sense that, you know, this one is about he.

You.

You need to show him how he gets to see the real you. You. Right. He gets a unique, special version of you that not everybody gets to see because everybody wants to feel special. And so the idea with this one is you're making it clear to him how he holds a special place in your life. Right. He's getting this version that other guys don't get. Right. That's a little bit of that competitive thing in there, too. But, like, you get to be the real you around him. And that's the congruence part. Like, you're not faking it. You feel safe and comfortable and all those great things and understood so that you can actually be authentic. And so you would say things like, it's amazing how comfortable I feel when I'm around you. Right. Or you have the. You have the unique ability to really just let me be myself. Right. Wow. Like, I do that for you. Wow, what a compliment.

So special. Yeah. It's like, I don't know what you do to me, but I'm never this way around guys. Like, just, oh, my God, let's send this to our wives. Let's just maybe. Maybe next week we're just gonna come back, like, oh, yeah. I think your wife listens to this podcast more than mine.

I would say my wife definitely listens. So, Colleen, this is. Take notes. I would love to hear every one of these things.

Jessica posts these, but I don't think she listens to them because she's. She posts all her content. All right, so the final C is compliment his ability to be a catalyst, all right? And that is like highlight how he makes you a better person. How is he a catalyst for your change? So make it really clear that he provides you with like this deep, meaningful benefits and that you see value and how in the importance of all of this, right? Like, he is a catalyst for major change in your life. Like, I love how you make me feel so carefree and comfortable, or I feel like I'm just such a better person when I'm around you, or you make me feel truly, like invincible, like all of these things. Tell him that he's this incredibly positive impact in your life and he's only going to want to lean in further if he thinks that, if he, if he knows that now, again, it's very important. He has to actually be a catalyst for change for you. This all has to be true. It all has to be authentic. But if it is true, share it with him, open up with him about this. And I guarantee if he is a catalyst for change in your life, you're very likely a catalyst for change in his life. And he's going to reciprocate and talk about building a deep emotional connection. It's gonna be an incredible moment. Yeah.

I mean, nobody in a relationship wants to be purely a taker, right? I mean, no, no good partner wants to just take, take, take, take. And so when you can highlight the ways that they are giving you this extra special experience, right. They make you feel safe, they make you feel special, they make you, like Adam said, feel invincible and like you're a better person, that shows that they really are bringing something to the table. And, you know, something I talk about in our Relationship Synergy program all the time is give what you want to get. And so by you giving these types of compliments, you're highlighting to your partner that you think that this kind of thing, you know, him being able to help you grow as a person is important. He's also going to get the meta message that you want that from him. And so the other thing I talk a lot about in relationship synergy is that the best relationships are when two amazing people find each other and they get to share and enhance their lives together. And so this is, this compliment is showing, like, this is how you enhance my life. And then, you know, he picks up on this idea and he starts working on helping, you know, you help him, you know, it's reciprocal and all that great stuff. Then, you know, that is relationship synergy. And those are some of the best relationships imaginable.

Yeah. I think the best relationships out there are when your partner's strengths, some of their strengths might be your weaknesses and vice versa. And I definitely see that in my relationship. Like, I have a lot of strengths that Jessica doesn't have. She's got a lot of strengths that I don't have. And you kind of just. It rubs off on you. You know, in many ways, it makes you a better person, makes you both a better person. And like we always say, like the. You are the average of the person you marry. Like, whoever it is that you end up with for the rest of your life, you kind of are the catalyst for the change, for change for each one of you. Like you, you're going to change each other. And if that's a positive change, acknowledging that and sending that message is going to only make him want to continue doing those things. So with all that said, I challenge everyone listening today. If there's a guy that you are talking to or dating or if you're in a relationship with a guy, try one of these compliments. Put it out there. Takes a moment of courage, takes a moment of vulnerability. This is not a loss of status by giving this. This compliment. In fact, it's only going to increase the emotional connection and go ahead and do that and do it in person, not just by text. Let's not be lazy about it. Actually look someone in the eye and deliver them with a genuine, deep compliment. See how it goes and let us know how it goes. Thanks, Gary. Appreciate it, man.

Thanks, Adam.

All right, so now we're at the end of the podcast, and hopefully you got a lot of really great information from this podcast. But as we know, information can only take you so far. It's time to take some action. So what I recommend you do now is head on over to loveapply.com it's going to walk you through a series of questions, and then you'll be able to build book what we call a complimentary love strategy session. Yes, you've heard it. Someone on my team is going to get on a phone call with you, be able to understand your situation, what it is that you're struggling with in your love life, and create that strategy to help you attract that man, that relationship you truly deserve. So take that action. Go make it happen. We cannot wait to speak with you, love apply.com and yeah, let's help you create that love life you truly deserve. All right, speak soon.

Bye. Bye.