6 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Truly Love You (Even If He Says He Does)

Here are six signs that a man doesn't truly love you, even if he says he does. Because let me tell you, it never ceases to amaze me how much weight someone puts on hearing the three magical words from someone. I love you. They're just words. They don't actually mean anything without real action. And I promise I'm not trying to be some Debbie Downer just telling you that all men don't love you. Definitely not. I just want to be more of like a heartbreak avoiding Adam rather than a Debbie Downer. See what I did right there? I want to help you avoid heartbreak from these guys who are just going to crush your soul and make you write me emails saying all men are the worst. Guys don't want commitment. Here's the reality. They do want commitment. We just need to be choosing the right types of guys. So please stay to the end of this video because a man can say that he loves you, but these words don't actually mean much unless he is using these words when with action that backs them up. My name is Adam Lolce, and I am officially now your big brother. I'm watching out for you. I'm an executive love coach. I'm the founder of Love Strategies, and that's what we do around here. We protect women just like you from these bad guys so that your heart can finally be open to all the amazing men that exist out there. Because I promise you, they exist. And as your official new big brother, I'm here to give it to you straight. I'm not going to give you noogies or anything like that, okay? I'm not one of those types of big brothers. I'm here to once again make sure that I give you the harshest truths so that once again, you're not wasting your time with the wrong guys. And I want you to start by disassociating some of the facts from your feelings. If you can just look at the reality of the situation with any of these guys for what they are, remove your feelings from it, you might like this guy. You might even love this guy. But the fact is he doesn't like you and he doesn't love you. Once you can look at the facts, suddenly you can be set free. Once again, you're gonna make better decisions in your love life. All right? So with that said, let's get into the six signs. The first one is that the future is never a part of the conversation. Just last week, I was speaking to a woman who's in her, I'd say, mid-50s and she was recently divorced and she thought that she'd get out there and start the dating again. Even though the thought of repeating another horrific relationship like she had with her previous marriage, it sounded absolutely terrible. So six months ago she met a guy who seemed pretty nice, but the relationship just felt like it was in two week increments. It was just constantly like, what are we doing for the next week? What are we doing for the next two weeks? But nothing would ever extend much further than that. And so she had the bright idea to suggest that they go away for a weekend together. But here's the catch. The weekend was coming up in about two months. Oh my God. Oh my God, two months. And his response was, you know what, that sounds pretty good. But let's just like talk about it a couple weeks before the date and let's see if we can make it work. This, my ladies, was the most important sign that I needed to hear in the story that this guy was not interested in anything serious. He was just seeing in the back of his kind of boneheaded brain, he was seeing if the relationship was still going to even be around in two months. And he was like, yeah, I'll just kind of decide it. If she's still in my life, sure, I'll go on that vacation. Now I'd say that this would be okay if they just started dating. Like if it was only two weeks or maybe a month into dating, yeah, sure, maybe he'll be like, well, let's just kind of see where things are at at that point in time. But they've been together for six months. Come on, dude. At six months, you should know if you're willing to commit your heart to someone. And by that point in time, you should know if you're falling in love. Now, luckily, this client has decided to work with Love Strategies. We're going to coach her, we're going to guide, and we're going to ensure that this never happens again. She's going to follow this process we call the seven little love steps so that she never ends up in this type of ridiculous situationship ever again. It's impossible when you follow the seven little love steps. And I guarantee that six months from now, she's going to wake up, she's going to roll over and look at a different guy, and she's going to say, wow, this is my person. Because this guy is willing to plan a future with me, he's willing to invest in me and he wants to see a life kind of being built. The two of us that's what the Little Love Steps do. If you want to learn the entire Little Love Steps, we'll leave a link in the description or you can go to theeps.com we have a free training there. It's going to walk you through this entire process of how to get out there and attract the right type of guy who actually wants a future with you. The second sign is that he's all audio and no video. What does that mean? Well, audio is. It's a podcast. It's all words. It's just words, words, words, words. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. He can say all of the things in the world. That he loves you, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, that he wants to meet your family. But at the end of the day, I don't really put much weight on words. It's all about the video. The video is action. It's what you can see with these two things right here, your eyes. You can actually see what he wants in a relationship. I would much prefer you ladies out there to be in a relationship with a guy who. Who doesn't use much words when it comes to promises, but he's all action. I'd much rather that than the opposite. A guy who just says all the right things but doesn't do anything with it. Let's say, for example, that you're talking to a guy and he tells you, I care about you so much and I really want to spend more time with your family. And then what happens? A big family reunion comes up, and you think to yourself, oh, my God, this is a perfect opportunity for me to. To introduce this guy to my family. Here's what a man who is all audio will do. He'll hear that a big family reunion's coming up, and he will be busy. He'll be busy. He'll say, oh, my God. Sorry, that's unfortunate because I actually. Oh, man, I'm really busy that weekend. I got to do some work stuff that's not happening. A man whose video will drop all of his plans because he already said that he cares about you, wants to spend time with his family, he's going to follow through on those words only look at the man's video. Don't listen to the audio. Number three is that he dismisses all of your boundaries. And I want to talk about this concept by telling you a quick little story of one of the quickest endings of a relationship that I've ever had in my life. This goes way back into the wayback machine when I was dating a woman in my early 20s and I was hanging out with my friends. And I remember on this given night, this was back when there were taxis, not when we had this whole Uber thing. All right, that might be aging me a little bit, but I was in a taxi. I got out of the taxi, the taxi drove off, and I realized that I left my phone in the taxi. This is not a good thing if you live in Boston, Massachusetts, okay? The taxi. The taxis here are not exactly the kindest people in the world. And this is before there was GPS to even track where in the world my phone was going. So we get to the restaurant. There's a group of us. We're just kind of hanging out. I'm talking about how I left my phone in the taxi, and I can't believe I did that. I really needed my phone. And she talks to me across the entire table in front of all my friends, and she says, I, oh, my God, Adam, you're such an idiot. And in my head, I was kind of like, come again? You just called me an idiot in front of everyone for leaving my phone in the taxi. Nonetheless, like, that's not really an idiotic thing to do. It's more clumsy than anything, but we'll set that aside. But I played it cool. I didn't say anything at the time, but an hour later, I kind of took her aside and I told her, like, look, I know that was kind of a boneheaded thing for me to leave my phone in a taxi, but please never call me an idiot, number one. Number two is, if you have some feedback from me, just don't do it publicly, okay? And she nods her head, looks me in the eye. Now, she was taken aback by this moment because I don't think she's ever had anyone be this open and communicative with her. And I thought that was perfectly reasonable to say, like, don't call me an idiot, and don't do it in front of my friends. But she looks at me and she says, all right, fine, Adam. But I got to tell you, that really was a stupid thing for you to do. And so you know what I was thinking in my head the moment she said that, I can't wait till this night is over because I'm breaking up with you the moment we're not in public. Now, for clarity, the reason why I was going to break up with her and I did that night, we were done like that. You do not do that to me. But the reason why I did it, that given night isn't just because she called me stupid or idiotic, which is not a very nice thing to say. But more importantly, it. I broke up with her because I gave her a boundary. I said don't say those things to me, number one. And number two, don't do it in public. And the moment I said those things and gave her that boundary, she immediately overstepped it. When you're in the right relationship, people will respect your boundaries. And if they don't, you say that magical four letter word which is next and move on to the next. And thank God I did, because I wouldn't have been able to meet my beautiful wife Jessica, who we're now happily married and we've been together for the past 11 years. Now, the fourth sign that a man doesn't love you is that you are very compartmentalized in his life. Like you are not integral integrated into his overall world. Being in a healthy relationship is the slow process of two unique identities slowly but surely becoming aligned and integrated. And when it's not being integrated, it's going to feel very broken. It's going to feel like he's just kind of doing his own thing and you're doing your own thing and he's not going to try and integrate one another with each other's lives. Now number five is probably the most important when it comes to choosing the right person to spend the rest of your life with. And that is a man does not love you if he is not in the foxhole with you. A foxhole is something that soldiers would dig in wartime to really protect themselves from the enemy. And sometimes you'd have to be in a foxhole with someone for days on end when you're in the middle of a battle. And I've found that the ultimate judge of a person's character and the ultimate judge of whether or not I want to have someone in my life is whether or not I'd want to be in a foxhole with them. Because we all go into battle at some time in our life. We all go through terrible moments. And that is the ultimate judge of whether or not someone deserves to be in your life is how they show up for you when you're in battle. Is he a high character guy that wants nothing more than to support you and be there for you and be kind to you when you're going through a really difficult time? Or is he the type of guy who leaves the foxhole because he's scared of battle and you know he's just going to go crying back to his mom. If you want a real man in your life, you have to say goodbye to the boys, the scared little boys who will not stay with you when shit hits the fan. And the final sign that a man doesn't love you is that your instinct, your gut, is telling you there's something really wrong here. Listen to it now. The problem is when we've been through heartbreak, we've been through difficult relationships, it can cause us to not trust ourselves, to not trust our gut, to not trust our instinct, to second guess ourselves and overanalyze guys in certain situations. And unfortunately, that can cause us to override our instincts in new relationships. And I want nothing more than for you to rebuild your instinct and have that gut feeling when you know something is wrong. The way to do that is by having the right type of strategy in your love life. Something we hear from our clients all the time is that finally I can trust myself again. I can trust my decisions because they have a framework, a decision making mental model that they can use whenever they're in certain situations. This guy is wrong for me. He doesn't love me. This guy is right for me. I'm going to open my heart up a little bit more. It's all about having the right strategy in your love life. And if you want us to walk with you in this process, head on over to loveapply.com apply for a complimentary love strategy session where someone on my team is going to speak with you directly. Understand why it is that our instinct has been a little bit off, where we've been struggling, what's blocking us in our love life, where it is that we want to go in our love life? What's our goal for the next few years, the type of relationship and then we're going to lay out a strategy for you that's going to guide you every single step of the way and support you so you never feel alone in this process again. Head on over to loveapply.com or click the link in the description to get started. And finally, I want to hear from you in the comments below. Which of these signs have you seen before and ignored? How'd it go? Leave that comment and if you enjoyed this video please give it a like subscribe and share it with a friend if they need to hear it. Thank you all so much for watching and I'll speak to you all very soon. Bye bye.