6 Ways to Be a High-Value Woman Men Desire

Now, have you ever liked a guy and he just never quite saw you through a romantic lens? Or maybe he did see you romantically, but he just never appreciated you? I hate to tell you if that's ever happened, it's likely you were just perceived as low value. Now, contrary to your initial response that you might have a visceral response to that, it actually has very little to do with your physical appearance, your age or your career. So in this video, I'm going to help you reposition yourself as a high value woman that men deeply desire. And it's something you can do by pretty quickly. Keep watching. Hey there. My name is Adam Lodolce. I'm the founder of lovestrategies.com where we've coached over 10,000 women and helped them attract love with our proven strategy. And here is the lesson of today. Value is simply a perception. Let's take an example. Outside of dating, let's take this pen right here. I want you to think to yourself, alright, how, how much is this pen actually worth? You'd be like, I don't know, $0.50, $0.25. I don't know, it's just a pen. But what if I told you that this was the pen that JFK used to sign the Cuban Missile treaty? How would the value of this pen suddenly change? Probably like, I don't know, million dollars. This would be one of the most valuable pens on the planet. Same pen, it hasn't changed. Different value in your mind. Now that's just some stupid example. Obviously this is a Marriott pen, so this is not that particular pen. But this same exact idea applies now. Your value has gone down again. All right, with the pen, the same exact idea applies to attracting men. And here's exactly how it works. So you can reposition yourself around guys and raise your value. Let's start with number six. Recognize your value. Long story short, if you don't believe that your high value woman, nothing else in this whole video is going to work. For example, the other day I had a client. She is cool, man. Like, she's one of those people you meet like, wow, you're awesome. She's like trendy. She's a writer in New York City. And she explained to me, Adam, but I'm 46 and no one would ever want to date me. Why would anyone want anything to do with me? So I said to her, you know what, you're right. She said, wait, what? So I said, you're right, no one would actually want to date you. And. And she was like, wait, what? What kind of dating coach are you? And I said, whoa, before you get too mad, it has nothing to do with your age. No one would want to date you because you believe that no one would want to date you in your age group. All of your actions from this point forward, if you maintain that mindset going out into the dating scene and go out meeting guys, go on first dates, second dates, and so on and so forth, every single action from this point going forward will come from a place of neediness and insecurity. So. So a lot of what we do when we start working with clients is we start removing what we call false beliefs. These beliefs about age or about our career, about, you know, I've been divorced two times, no one would want anything to do with that type of person. Once we can start to isolate and then remove these false beliefs, suddenly it sets us free to go out there and actually raise our value. And I know you want tactical stuff, and I'm gonna give it to you later in this video, but you gotta start with your belief system. When you look in the mirror and you, damn, oh my God, I am absolutely every guy on the planet would want to be with me. And you really believe in your core, you're not just saying it because it's some weird affirmation you have. You actually believe it. Then suddenly it just opens your entire life up to incredibly high value men. And if you'd like a little personal coaching on how to change some of those mindsets and identify your limiting false beliefs, then I would click the link in the description. You can watch a free training jump on a free call with one of our love strategies and see if our coaching is a fit for you. If you raise your value in your eyes, then sud. Secondly, you don't accept low value behavior from other men. Your worth is what you accept from others. Number five is to be comfortable just being imperfect. What do I mean by this? Well, have you ever met like a politician before or seen them on television and you just feel completely disconnected from that human being? And it's because when you meet that person, you know that they're just trying to be so absolutely perfect and not say any of the wrong things? Because if they do, then God knows what's going to happen on social media or on the news or. On the other hand, have you ever just met a person who's like kind of high value, but they're actually pretty imperfect the way they talk or maybe they make a mistake. I always think of someone. I don't know why Chris Pratt, he's like the actor. He just seems so authentic. And he'll go on, like, tonight shows and just be the type of guy who, like, goof around. He'll snort when he laughs. He's comfortable doing that. And when you're comfortable being imperfect, suddenly that actually raises your value around people versus those people who are just always trying to be absolutely perfect. And if they make a mistake, they just completely flounder. It's okay to make mistakes. If you go on a first date, then it's okay if you spill the wine on the table. It's okay if you tell kind of a weird joke and you don't have a good story to tell. Whatever it is, humans actually connect with other humans through imperfection, not perfection. And there's actually a psychological effect that happens when we make mistakes in many cases, and it makes people actually like you more. No relation to Chris Pratt, by the way. By the way. It's called the pratfall effect. People become more likable after making a mistake. And this is especially true, like with dating. If a guy is really nervous before a first date and then you make some type of mistake, then he's actually going to like you even more. It's the pratfall effect. So the next time you go on a date, the next time you go to an event, the next time that you go out meeting new people, be comfortable being your true, authentic self. You're gonna say the wrong thing at times. You're gonna spread, spill the water, and that is okay. It actually makes you more likable. The next way to raise your value around men is to make men earn your affection. There's an interesting study that backs this idea up. And it basically shows that we are bound to like someone more if that person starts off disliking us and then grows to like us than if the person has liked us from the very beginning, especially when it comes to dating. So if a guy goes on a first date with you and. And he gets the sense that you're not sure if you're really into him, you know, you're kind of deciding if it's a good fit. And then as time goes on, you kind of warm up to him. This actually makes him like you even more throughout the process because, again, it makes him earn your value, and it makes him value what he works for. It's known as the gain loss theory of attraction. And it probably occurs because when we feel like we've won a person over, it kind of increases our good feelings about them. And now you're probably thinking to yourself, well, Adam, that's all well and good, but like, what if he isn't trying to earn my affection? Well then you gotta ask yourself, what would a high value woman do in that situation? She'd say that magical four letter word which is next and move on to the next. A high value woman's love is not free. Her affection is just not given freely to any guy who shows up in her life. No, it is earned. And if he's not earning it, then he loses it. As humans, we value anything that we have to really work for. Our emotional energy, our time, our resources. And if he's not doing that, then it's time to set your sights elsewhere. That's why we have what we call the little love steps. If you're not yet exclusive with a guy, it's not an exclusive. Define the relationship conversation then. You, my beautiful lady, are still single. So if he's not investing in you, then it's time to set your sights elsewhere. And then if he makes a further investment to win you back, okay, that's fine. We'll see if he's really there or not, if it's legit, and if it's not, then he's going to lose you because you are going to put your time and energy elsewhere into a man who's actually earning your affection. And the challenge is what most women do in this situation is that they say, oh yeah Adam, I totally agree, a man's love is totally earned. And you know, I turn down a lot of guys who aren't investing me and that they say that until the right guy comes around who, who, oh my God, he's handsome, he's charismatic, he's really confident, he's successful. It's like they're perfect guy and then all of that goes out the window. And then they get what we call oneitis. They focus all of their energy on that one guy, lowering their value and then it doesn't work out. So don't let it go out the window. Especially when you meet that high value guy that you're really into. Lean into this principle, make him earn your affection. And if he doesn't, then you know what, repeat after me next. Now let me ask you a question. Have I yet earned your affection in this video? If so, give this video a like, subscribe, follow wherever it is that you're watching it. Now let's jump into the next way to raise your value around men, which is to set boundaries of what's acceptable behavior from a man. Long story short, Low value women don't have boundaries. A boundary is essentially just like an invisible line that separates you from. From me. And low value guys will always try to overstep boundaries. They'll always be trying to figure out where it is that you're going, what is that you're doing. They'll try to control you. Or worse, they'll do the opposite, where they'll push the boundaries as to like, maybe flirting with other women or being inappropriate throughout the dating process, or pushing your boundaries about sexual advancement. There's so many different boundaries that people will overstep or understep throughout the dating process. And a high value woman is not a fool to clearly and succinctly set those boundaries, even when they're talking to a high value guy. This happened actually the other day with a client, and she was talking to this new guy. They'd gone out about six times together, and she really liked him. Like, she was into him. When we have clients who are posting in our community, our private community, and talking about the same guy over and over and over again at Mastermind events, then, you know, I can usually tell they're starting to really get involved in this guy. But something happened that kind of caused her to be unsure of whether or not this guy was good for her. She was just sitting at her house on a random Saturday. She hadn't talked to him at all that day, and he came up out of nowhere and knocked on her door. And you know, they'd gone out five or six times, so it wasn't like massively inappropriate, but it was also still like, he came unannounced. What was he really doing? And it turned out he just wanted to come and see her. And she didn't know how to handle this situation. So of course I just said to her, like, look, just set a clear boundary. You don't have to be mean about it. Or like, go way over the top and yell at him or anything like that. You can just say, look, like, I've really enjoyed getting to know you. I really want to see where this goes. But in the future, when you do come by, can you just give me a heads up? I'd prefer to make plans rather than just have someone show up unannounced. Now, a lot of people think that's where this ends, okay? And it's actually not true. That's only the first step to setting a boundary. Now we've set a boundary and said, hey, this is the boundary that I've set. Now let's see if he oversteps. That boundary, okay? And this is where you can really get a lot of good information about a person. Does he adhere to it and say, look, I totally understand, I will like make sense, I'll take a step back. Or is he the type of guy that you know? He'll be like, yeah, of course, of course. And then two weeks later, he shows up your house again unannounced. If he does that now, we just have a boundary violation. And if someone violates your boundaries, especially early on in the dating process, it's likely they're going to do it again, do it again, and do it again. So be aware of guys who overstep those boundaries. Don't be afraid to set appropriate boundaries throughout the dating process because you are a high value woman. And here is the craziest part of all of this. The more that you are appropriately setting boundaries, it actually raises your value. High value guys don't want to be with women who they can just walk all over. It's okay to set those boundaries so long as you're just clearly communicating why you're setting it and what is appropriate, what's not appropriate, that's it. The second way to be a high value woman and position yourself this way is to always remember that you, my beautiful lady, have walking power. I don't care if you've been with a guy for two days, two months, or two years, even 20 years. If you're with someone and no longer is the connection working for you, or it's emotionally harmful, or it's just not in line with your vision for your life, then you have walking power, okay? And high value women internalize this. Now the point of this is not to just walk away the moment you have any type of hiccup in your relationship. Hiccups happen all the time. And sometimes it's a burp, sometimes it's a full vomit, okay? In a relationship, those things happen. But at the end of the day, it's really important to always remember you can walk away from this situation if it's not working for you, if you try to fix it, but it's just not working. And you're just finding yourself just constantly having conflict after conflict, complication after complication. It's just not working. And you've been putting everything into it and he's not doing it himself. What does a high value woman do? They say, look, I need to stand up for myself. I have to find something that is actually going to work for me for the long term. And sometimes that means walking away from the wrong situation, and this is why I'm such a big proponent of having a strategy throughout the dating process is especially our clients, when they find themselves in a committed, lasting relationship, they always know in the back of their mind if something doesn't work out with that guy, if at the end of the day it's just not the right fit, and sometimes it can take some time before knowing that. They always know they can go back to little love step number one. They always have that in the back of their mind. And that in many ways raises their value to men because men can sense that. They sense that if they don't step up to the plate and they don't actually act like a man should in the relationship, then he's going to lose her. And that is the high value mindset that I really want you to just fully embody when you're in relationships and when you're out there and dating. And the final principle is that high value women meet high value men in high value places. Let's start with one of the lowest value places to meet guys. Nightclubs. Now, luckily most of our clients are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. So most of them aren't going to nightclubs. But that would just be an example of a terrible place to go to meet high value men. Whereas if you want to meet high value guys who really do step up to the plate, then yeah, maybe a nightclub is in the right place or even a dive bar or your local bar that you go to just because your girlfriends go Instead, be thinking in your area, where are high value men? Where do they exist? Because be looking at events online. Are there philanthropic events that are going on around you? Are there parties that are happening through your social group? Are there people you can reach out to who are high value people who know other high value people? Are there other type of singles events you can go to that cater to a certain clientele that's on your level? Be intentional and put that upfront work into finding the right types of places that's going to surround you with high value people. Because I guarantee it, if you keep going to places where there's only low value guys, you're going to end up in a relationship with a low value guy. If you surround yourself with high value men and high value people, guess what? You end up with high value people. So if you enjoyed this video and you are ready to commit yourself to being that high value woman, just leave a comment right there below saying, yes, that is your commitment to being that high value woman. Follow these principles. Follow these mindsets, and let's get you out there attracting that man that you deeply desire.