7 Things Affluent Men Deeply Desire in a Woman

If you are with a man who is affluent and he is an entrepreneur or, you know, has a very successful career by nature, you're not going to spend likely as much time with him because he's got a lot of things going on in his life. And so it's very difficult for a woman who is needy, who needs a lot of constant time and affection, it's going to be very difficult for that relationship to work out. Like many ways, you have to be that independent person in order to be that power couple. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else. Backed by science, psychology and our own personal experiences, your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of love strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, your relationship scientist, professor and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

Gary.

Today we're going to be talking about the seven things that affluent men deeply desire in a woman. I wore my gold watch today for this one, which is not real gold, by the way, I'm not a big watch guy, but I wanted to, to look the part for today because we're going to be talking a lot about affluent men and attracting men who have access to resources. And really this came from just some experiences that I've had recently. I've joined a kind of my own mastermind because I think everyone should be in masterminds or coaching programs. And I'm in a business coaching program because, you know, I'm a dating coach and Love Strategies is growing very, very fast. And I'm learning how to actually grow the organization. You know, we're, we're up to, I don't know, 16 people right now who are working for Love Strategies and it's getting crazy. So long story short, I'm going to my own events and learning and seeing how I can be a better leader myself. And throughout that, I'm meeting a lot of men and women. But for the sake of this podcast, men who are extremely affluent, like 30, 50, 100 million dollar net worth plus, and I've just had an unusual, just access to these men. And the interesting thing about my profession is when I tell someone what I do for a living, they immediately want to talk about their love life. Does that happen to you, Gary?

All the time. That's why you do sometimes people Say like, what do you do? I'm like, statistics.

That's such a better. I don't have that cop out. Jealous. That's a good one. That's a good one. But, yeah, so I'm gonna just share. I mean, Gary and I kind of put our heads together on this, but share some of the things I've really noticed that these types of guys are looking for in a wife and a woman and a partner. And some of the guys I've been meeting are single. Some of them are in relationships, some of them are married. So it's just like a pretty healthy mix. But especially in this demographic of men that I've been surrounded by, it's likely the type of guys that you're looking to surround yourself with as well. They're competitive. They're kind of that more dominant, alpha natured, more masculine type guys. They tend to be very selective about their inner circle, about who they allow into their life and who they do not allow into their life. They're very thoughtful about that. They're also pretty impatient and they tend to have a very kind of low tolerance for low value behavior. All right, so it's just a different demographic of people that I. I haven't frankly had that much access to in at scale than I ever have before. And so if you're looking to attract that type of guy, I think you're gonna be able to get a lot from today because it really is a little bit different than attracting Joe Schmo, who goes to the local bar down the corner, who we always make fun of. Who'd you call him on the last one? Last.

Bobby Bud Light. Bobby.

This is not Bobby Bud Light. This is a different level guy. And. And one final thing about the type of men that I've been surrounding myself with is they are all kind of similar in that they're all thought leaders or they're coaches or so they. The good thing is they're very articulate, like they speak for a living. So they can really articulate these things to me. So it's just a really interesting behind the scenes that hopefully you all get a lot from it. So some of the things that I've noticed in these guys, and we have seven of them we put together, but the first one is that they don't want a woman who is playing hard to get, but they want a woman who is hard to get. And so this really plays into our saying that we have, which is don't play hard to get. Be hard to get or be hard to attain. Be the type of woman who has her own independent interests, who isn't necessarily like crazy, crazy intimidated by a guy who is, you know, doing all these things and then immediately latches on who be the type of woman who has other, you know, has her own social life when she meets a guy who is super high value, is still able to focus on other areas of her life. Be the scarce woman that this guy is going to naturally want to win over. But don't do it in a way where you're playing games because these guys, they'll see through it immediately. What do you think, Gary?

Yeah, and this very much ties into the research that what we know about playing hard to get, which is playing hard to get is a bad way to set up a relationship. Right. It starts, it kind of predicates your entire relationship on game playing, which is not something you really want. And so what the hard to get research really shows is what men want is a woman who's hard to get for everybody else, but because he's so special, so unique, so amazing, she's not hard to get for him. Right. So it's like you're hard to get for everybody, but for him, he's got like a unique, he's got like the secret sauce or the special combination to kind of, you know, get your attention. That's the secret.

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Gary, why don't you take us to the second one?

Sure. So the next one we're calling, we're calling it Ride or Die. And so Ride or Die is this idea is like, who doesn't want to be part of a power couple, right? And so these affluent guys, they really want somebody who's their true equal, their true counterpart. Right. Like you said, you know, part of the DNA of these high affluent, high value guys is they have a low tolerance for low value behavior. And so a Ride or die is someone who's, you know, emotionally healthy, physically healthy, intellectually healthy. Like they are that true counterpart, that true ally. There's, you know, it's somebody who's part of a couple who's supportive of each other's behavior. They're not intimidated by their partner success.

Right.

And so they're going to make sacrifices for each other, both partners, but those sacrifices are going to be mutual and they're going to be minor. Right. You're not going to, you know, this affluent guy is not going to look for somebody who he's got to like shape and mold and create to be this person. He wants you. We want you to come Kind of already like that. And so that you guys can like align together and you know, create this synergistic relationship with, so you guys can kind of take over the world together.

Right? Yeah, I mean, they're just, I met a lot of people's partners or wives and whatever at many of these, these events and not a single wife or partner of a man who's extremely successful. Not a single one was. I like, this doesn't make sense. She's not on his level. She, I can't talk to her. She's not, she doesn't have a growth mindset. I didn't get that from, I was, there's not a single one where I just met. I'm like, oh, she's just really hot. And that's why she's in, like, it just, that didn't exist. That, that wasn't a thing with this. And I think that there is this idea out there that super affluent men only want a young, physically attractive woman and that's it. And it's just not true. I mean, I, I, I haven't, I think the research supports this, but also my own personal experience doesn't support this in that they want to have their equal. They want to have. And it doesn't mean that that woman needs to be a multi millionaire herself. But there's other characteristics where she needs to be on his level, on an emotional level. Which actually kind of brings us to the next one, which is on an intellectual level. We just named this his sapio sexual being. They, I don't know how to use this term. Being sapiosexual. Like they want someone that is, is just on their level intellectually. Like they're attracted to a woman who just, they can converse with. And intellectually, they just connect.

Yeah. And it's the important part with this one, you know, being attracted to someone's intellect, which is sapio sexuality, is like, it's not just their SAT score, right? It's, it's not just, you know, their college degrees. It's actually those things are largely, it's like, can you hold a conversation? Are you proficient in speaking about current events? Can you talk about some of the hot topics? Like, do you know any cryptocurrency? You know anything about that? You know anything about hallucinogenics? Like, do you know anything? Can you like have an intellectually stimulating conversation about any of those things? That's what you're really looking for. And it's not just intellectual either. And this is, you know, we said before this, this is something we should actually talk about even more on these podcasts is emotional intelligence. Like you, you want a partner who can identify their emotion, can regulate their emotion, can understand and deal with emotions and other people. And part of that regulating emotion is like being calm, drama free. Because we know from the research like one of the worst things that people can have in terms of a personality trait in a relationship is neuroticism. Extreme highs, lows, ups and downs. Like that's not attractive. And so someone who's highly emotionally intelligent isn't. They're going to be kind of steady because they know how to regulate their emotions.

Yeah. Which is a pretty consistent character trait of a lot of these men that met is that emotional stability is very important for them. So they, they tend to meditate a lot. They tend to have kind of an even keeled nature about themselves. You mentioned hallucinogenics. A lot of them are very into psychedelics and it's pretty, what, it's pretty interesting. They just, they're very aware of their mindset and their mental state. And you know, for them to get involved with a woman who hasn't worked on any part of her, her personality, frankly, and those traits and her, she's completely emotional, volatile. One day she's super happy, when the next day, it's just an absolute nightmare. It's drama every single day. They're not gonna deal with that. It's just, it's just not happening. I don't care what that woman looks like. It's not a thing. No way in heck. So it's just something that we talk a lot about where I'll ask these guys, what are you looking for in a woman? And they don't immediately go to the physical. They talk about this, this is what they want if they're looking for a partner. Now if they're just single, trying to get, you know, something short term. Sure. But I don't even listen to those guys because I don't care about their opinion. Most of them, if they're single and looking, are looking for a woman who's on the same intellectual and emotional level as them. Hey there, ladies. As you can see, we're just getting this podcast off the ground. And since we don't run any ads, I only have one quick favor to ask in return. Can you just take a quick second right now, pause this episode and just leave us a review Wherever it is that you're listening to, the podcast really help us out a lot. And it really does spread the love and think the world needs a little Bit more of that. So I appreciate you. Now, let's get back to the show. Yeah.

And, and part of that, which brings us to number four, which is, you know, these affluent guys, they want somebody who's uncomplicated, right? Their life is stressful, hectic enough. A lot of demands, a lot of pressure. They don't need extra drama, volatility, turmoil in their relationship. So they want someone who's like, care. Carefree. They want someone who's unencumbered, right. Not a lot of baggage, not hung up on previous relationship, not doesn't have, like, family problems. And like someone who's like, working through a lot. Like, they want simple, right? They want to have something that somebody that's fun. So part of fun is just like having a good sense of humor. Right. Can you, you know, can you make them laugh? Can you enjoy time spent together? You know, according to the research, it's actually more, not even important. You don't have to make him laugh as much as it's important to laugh at his jokes. He researcher. There's a whole book. I don't know if you ever read this book. Jeff Miller, the Meeting Mine.

Yeah, the whole thing.

The whole thing is basically like, guys show their evolutionary prowess by humor and intellect. And so if you're not laughing at his joke, he's basically saying, like, look at how great I am. And you're just not finding him funny. That's. That's a real turn off. Right. And so, you know, that sense of humor just kind of like, you know, and you just, frankly for yourself, I mean, you want to spend time with somebody who you find enjoyable, and if you don't enjoy their sense of humor, then that's probably not somebody you want to spend time with. You know, I think the last part of being uncomplicated is just having an adventurous spirit. Like being somebody who's like, you know, ready to go explore and do new things, try new things. And, you know, we've talked about this in other podcasts, but I know from my own research, partners who do new, interesting, challenging and exciting activities together, have better relationships. And so being someone who's up for those new and interesting things, that's going to not only make you uncomplicated, but that adventurous spirit is actually going to help fulfill your relationship, too.

Yep. I think that this one is a particularly tough pill to swallow, or big pill to swallow, whatever. I'm terrible at saying it's a tough one for those women out there who are extremely successful in their own way professionally and and when you meet a man who is also very accomplished, you kind of get into that mode of professional conversation. Like, I see this a lot with, like, our executive clients. They'll meet a guy, like, who we're describing, and they'll go on a date and immediately go into work mode and talk about, you know, how to conquer the world or, you know, what it is that they're doing their cutting edge research in pharmaceuticals that is revolutionary, revolutionizing the way that, so on, so forth, whatever. But that's not building attraction. It's great that you're an equal and an intellectual equal, but when you do meet him, it really is still back to the basics of having fun together and enjoying your time together. And these types of people are like, I think of even my own personal life. Like, I dated a lot of extremely accomplished women, and some I was very, like, into. Others I. I was not. But certainly the ones who would bring their careers to the date every single time. It was a turn. It was actually a massive turn off because I'm like, I'm doing this all day long. Like, I'm working all day long. I actually am looking for, like, just to just kick back and laugh, like, laugh at my stupid dad jokes for a little bit. Let's just have a little bit of fun. Like, it's okay. Like, loosen up, girl. Like, let's go. And. And this, I don't know, am I sounding sexy? I feel like this sounds sexist. Is where we get, like the one in 30 reviews. Like, most are five star. And then we got the one that, like, Gary and Adam are being sexist. But it's just, this is the harsh reality. And the nice thing is if you are accomplished and you're doing so well in your career, that's amazing. Don't stop it. That's going to attract an amazing man. But when you do go on the date, we don't have to bring all of that to the date. You can just kind of let loose and have a little bit of fun. That's what dating's about, right?

And here, here's the thing about this podcast. This podcast is for women. But if we were doing this podcast for guys, I would tell them the exact same thing. Thing. Yeah. Like, don't go into business mode the whole time. No one cares about your career that much. Like, have your career self, but you also need a self outside of your career self. And that's the person you should be bringing to dates. Not career Adam. Don't bring career Adam to a date. Bring fun loving, party Guy Adam to a date like that. And that's, that's essentially what you're saying, let's go.

That's fun loving. Part of Party Adam, which, which leads us really to the next one, which is kind of being a self starter. Like if, if you are with a man who is affluent and he is an entrepreneur or you know, has a very successful career by nature, you're not going to spend likely as much time with him because he's got a lot of things going on in his life. And so it's very difficult for a woman who is needy, who needs a lot of constant time and affection. It's going to be very difficult for that relationship to work out. Like many ways you have to be that independent person in order to be that power couple. Because again, like if you're constantly needing affection, if you need to text throughout the day, if you constantly need to hear, like, I had a client the other day, she mentioned that she went on two dates with a guy like two days in a row. And by the way, I wouldn't recommend that. And then she didn't hear from him and it was only noon the next day. I'm like, chill out. He's working. Like he's, he has stuff going on and that's okay. Like that's okay. And the more affluence you go up with with the men that you're dating, the more you're gonna have to just kind of expect that and have your own independent lifestyle.

Yeah, he's got stuff going on. You need to have stuff going on too. Remember, he wants to date somebody who's his equal, has low tolerance for low value behavior. Being needy, make no mistake, is low value behavior. So you know, the constant texting, the constant need for affirmation, like you should have your own full, complete life that you're also trying to fit him into as well. Right. And it's why we say, you know, like you just said, like, don't date two days in a row. If a guy calls you, you know, or texts you Friday afternoon, do you want to go out tonight? Like, no, because you're going to have something else to do. Because you are a self starter, you're not needy and you have your own full life.

Yeah. And these guys also. Just one more note on that. Like think of it from these guys perspectives. If they're attractive and they are affluent, their dating life is littered with women who are needy. It's just littered, like everywhere they go. Is like a woman who's trying to get something from Them or do something or take up their time and, or just even people in their life who are trying to take up their time. And if you are the opposite of that, where you're independent, you're doing your own thing and actually he has to work for your time, oh my God. Does he find that attractive? And you're not doing it in a way to manipulate him or to play hard to get or play any games? No. Like you're just legitimately a next level type person. Like, that's the type of woman that he's just like, who is that? I want, I want that, you know? And that kind of appeals to his competitive nature.

It's new, right? Because like typically he, he's like dating people that he's got to occupy and entertain and feel like he's got to fill in the blank. Like, no, like you're, you're coming ready made, you have your own thing going on. And again, it's kind of like that, like we're equals, we can align, power couple kind of thing. I think that the other thing that goes along with this, which is number six, is he wants a woman who can own a room, right? And it's, it's someone who knows their own worth, confidence, self assuredness. So this is, and it's, it's not just any kind of confidence and self assured. It. So it's not based on superficial things. It's not based on physical appearance. It's not based on looking, getting attention. Like how many people are looking at me or how many likes I'm getting on social media. Like it's all, that's all superficial stuff. He wants a woman who has charisma, right. And so that's a woman who's competent, like really, really competent, good at what she does, but also warm too, right. And so you get the competence and that warmth together that's charismatic. That's somebody who can walk into a room and own it. And that's the kind of guy, that's the kind of woman that these guys are looking for.

Yeah. And, and I, and that's not something you can just learn by listening to a podcast. You gotta actually, if you want to surround yourself with affluent people, if you want to attract an affluent man, need to surround yourself with affluent people and get comfortable being in rooms with those types of people. This is not something I was used to, okay? This is like outside of my realm. I'm not that type of a dude. All right? Like I, you know, I like motorcycles, I like to kite surf, and I like barbecuing like, I don't need anything too crazy and starting to surround. There's a different type of language that happens with people who are of a certain kind of affluence level. It sounds so douchey saying this out loud, but, hey, this is why we're here. We're trying to give you the insights scoop here. And if you want to just suddenly find yourself with a man who's like, next level in affluence, you got to have just experience being in those types of crowds. You know, if you, if you're on the Titanic and you're only used to being on the bottom floor of the Titanic. Bottom floor of the Titanic is fun, okay, I want to be down there drinking, doing all that stuff. But, like, once you go to the top floor, you're not going to know what forks to use. You're not going to know how to have conversation. You're not not going to know how to have, like, discussion about current events and so on and so forth. So, like, you gotta know how to. To play the. The top floor of the Titanic as well, even if you don't like it. It's been a long day podcast. I can't wait to bring the Titanic. God, I hate the people on the top floor of the Titanic. But, like, hey, if you want the guy who's, who can get you tickets on the Titanic, you gotta go up there. I don't know what to tell you.

Well, and, and like, if that movie, which I'm sure everyone has seen, like, Leonardo DiCaprio's character, like, he basically, you fake it till you make it, right? And so some of that, it's like, you know, you know, don't wait until you're comfortable to be in those settings. Just go into those settings and then just kind of like, fake it to your main and just kind of. And I say fake it in the kindest way. I mean, it just kind of like, embrace the things around you and kind of lean into those aspects of yourself which you may not have been comfortable leaning into in the past, but you have them. Right? And so be comfortable in your own skin. Bring in that, like, confident, charismatic energy, and that's going to get you where you want to go.

Yeah. And you just gotta, like, and, and honestly, it's tactically, like, a few things you can do. Go to philanthropy events locally. There's a lot of. Go to places where there are affluent people in your area. And if there are no affluent people, then go find them. Go somewhere else. Like, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. You need to surround yourself with these types of people so you can have that conversation. But like, philanthropy events are really, really, really good. Golf outings or events, going to golf courses, tennis. Like, just think of where do affluent people go and start surrounding yourself with them. It's a different type of a language that people have. They're very comfortable talking about money. They are very comfortable just talking about current events and what impacts the world. Like, and if you want to be in that space, if you want to be with a man who's at that level, maybe you don't, by the way, maybe you're completely turned off by that from this podcast, that's fine. Okay. But at least that gives you an idea of where you want to be. And if you want to be with that type of person, you got to be comfortable owning a room in those types of situations.

I think this is really funny because this tells you a little bit about me. But when you're like, go to places where rich people hang out, where affluent people hang out, the first thing, Adam, that comes to my mind, I'm like, whole Foods.

I'll go to Whole Foods. So.

Whole Foods, like that for the people I know. Like, that's, you know, Whole Foods is.

Like, wow, yes, I'll have the grass fed beef. Grass fed. Just like, really?

Right.

Just so everyone knows. Do you have any gluten free pasta? Just so everybody see, that's all.

That's just. That's what I think.

Totally. More like whole paycheck is what they say. Whole foods. More like whole paycheck.

For real.

All right, end us. End us with the final one here.

All right, so the Last 1, Number 7 in the Things that affluent men deeply desire in a woman, is this idea of a healthy reality distortion. So Steve Jobs was famous, the founder of Apple, famous for having what he called his reality distortion field. And so his magic really was. Like, he'd come into a room and say, like, we're gonna have this project done in a month. And everyone's like, no, no, no, it's gonna take three months. He's like, nope, nope, it's. Well, it's no problem. We'll do it in a month. And then, sure enough, everyone just kind of rallied around that idea and then got it all done in a month. And so what we're saying in this context is affluent guys want somebody to kind of be that reality distortion person for them. And really it's just being optimistic. Right? Like, optimism is one of those secret, special superpowers in relationships. Because we know from the research people who are optimistic have better relationships. Bad things are going to happen, challenges are going to present themselves, there's going to be points of friction, but if you're optimistic about the outcome, you're going to weather those storms more capably than if you're pessimistic and cynical. Pessimism and cynicism, skepticism, all those isms. Right. Those make you sound smarter when it comes to relationships. But the people who actually have better relationships are that reality distortion. Really, really optimistic. You want that kind of partner on your side.

Yeah. Well, and it just relates to a previous podcast we did recently about how people ultimately want to date people who are like them. Okay, like, we don't want to date our opposite. We want to date people who are similar to us. And affluent, self starter, entrepreneurial type guys. People who are doing well tend to be very optimistic. Like in a sick way, like just they see the world from a certain lens, which is like, the world is my oyster. I can do anything. And I don't know, I mean, sometimes you can, sometimes it can't, but whatever. And they want to be with someone who also has that mindset. Imagine being that type of a person and you're like, oh, my God, the world is so much opportunity. And your partner's like, no, there isn't. The world is a terrible place. I don't know why I'm going, like New Jersey here, But it's just the worst. Oh, God, everything is terrible. You know, whatever you can, it's just, it'll never work. So. And the nice thing about all these things is these are things that you can work on today. Maybe you came out of this podcast and you're like, I don't want anything to do with affluent people or affluent men. And if that's the case, great. Maybe that'll now have you go back to Bobby Bud Light and be totally happy with it. But if you do want to be with someone who's on this level, you also need to be the type of person who's on that level. And then suddenly it's actually pretty easy to attract these types of guys.

Yeah, I just want to, you know, add one last thing at the end is like, we frame this very much in terms of like, what do affluent, affluent men want in women? Because our, our podcast audience, it's mostly women. I would also say, though, we have a ton of affluent women who listen to this podcast. Right. These are also the same traits you should be looking for in a guy. Right. He needs to be uncomplicated. He needs to be able to own a room. He needs to be a self starter. He needs to have this intellect. He needs to be your ride or die. Like, all these same things go the other way too. And so, you know, I just want to make it clear, like, it's not just, you know, women need to be these things for the guys. The guys also need to be this.

Way for the women. Right. That's a really good ending point. Thank you, Gary. Good stuff. And hopefully you all enjoyed this one. We'll see in the comments. All right, thanks, Gary. Talk soon.

Thanks, Adam.

All right, so now you've reached the end of the show. Please make sure you follow and subscribe to the Love Strategies podcast, wherever it is that you're listening, so that you never feel alone again on your journey to love. As always, if you want to unlock all of our love strategies and begin your love life transformation, head over to lovestrategies.com to get started. Stay beautiful and speak to you next week.