7 Ways to Spot MAJOR Red Flags Before It's Too Late

In today's podcast, we're going to be discussing the seven ways to spot major red flags before it's too late. Before you're just, you've gone down the path too far with a guy and you're like, I don't even know how to get out of this situation. So we really want to help you avoid the scenario where you just feel stuck. Gary, I think this is going to be a good one for everyone. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else. Backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

I think it's such an important topic because you can't spend 10 minutes on the Internet doing looking at anything about dating relationships without encountering an article about, here are the red flags to look for. These are the bad things you got to know about this stuff. If he's jealous, if he's controlling, disrespectful, talks about himself, too much bad communication, inconsistent. It's like, yes, I think most of you listening to this podcast have a really good sense of what the red flags actually are. But here's the thing, guys, when they show up to a first date, they're not going to broadcast all their red flags. That conversation doesn't go how you would like it to go. If he has all these red flags, he doesn't say, hey, my name's Dave. I'm full of red flags, right? I'm gonna love bomb you to death. I'm gonna make you feel really special, like we have the world's most amazing connection. I'm gonna sleep with you and then forget. You cool with that? Guys don't do this. But we know that, you know, guys are showing up with some of these red flags. And so what we're really here to do today is not just tell you what the red flags are because you've seen that. We're gonna help you figure out some strategies them sooner before you get your.

Heart broken, to actually take real action when you see them. Gary. I mean, look, we, we've been coaching. I've been the founder of Love Strategies. We've been around for over a decade now coach tens of thousands of women. And in my experience, what I found, I don't know if this has been your experience as well with our clients is like, when they're dating a guy that they're not really that attracted to, they're really quick to spot a red flag. It's like, oh, my God, he walks his dog every single morning for a half an hour. Red flag, right? Like, just anything. And, like, now I'm done. But then when they meet Dave. Oh, hot Dave. I don't think Dave's a very sexy name, but let's. Let's work with it. Since you mentioned it, it's like, he walks in, he's great, but he's super rude to the server. He's very hot and cold. He's not responding to texts. And like, well, is that really a red flag? I'm not so sure. It's like, it's taking real action in those moments when you're attracted to a guy but know that he's horrible for your future. Like, your future self is saying, no, do not do it. This man is going to ruin your life.

Well, and I think those situations, what makes them so hard is because you have that initial flicker of attraction, you start dating based on hope and abandon all sense of reality. And so you need some strategies to have in your back pocket, so to speak, so that you can really make sure you're doing the right things to find the red flags that are really there. And I think what's really important about this, and I want to put this caveat out there too, and you. You alluded to this, is the red flags that are actually there because we don't want you to be too sensitive. You know, one of the cheapest dating advice things out there is this is a red flag. And they just tell you all the things that are. Anybody possibly does in the world. It's like, yeah, you can make anything a red flag if you think about it hard enough. And so we want to be a little bit more discerning, a little bit more strategic, and much more intentional about how we go about discovering potential red flags.

Yeah, I mean, in the earliest days of YouTube, when I would release a video, there were just some videos that are released that would get a million views just instantly. And the red flag one was always the number one. And frankly, you could say anything is a red flag. Now, I didn't, but I would see other people and what they were saying were red flags. And you're like, this is absolute nonsense. This is crazy.

To drives a Red car. I've seen that one. Like, that's one I've actually seen. Watch out for the guys that drive a red carpet. Right?

He's too emotionally vulnerable. He's not emotionally vulnerable enough. He's very successful, but he also works too much. I mean, you just go down the list. You can just continue to create red flags. And so I think it's created a culture for women to just be extremely wary through the process. Like, I'd be terrified if I were dating if I heard a bajillion videos about all the red flags that exist out there. It leads you to, like, basically come to the conclusion that there are no men out there. Like, there's no guys. If you're actually going to play that game and be like, okay, all these things are red flag. I gotta find a guy that doesn't have any of these things. Good luck.

Yeah, it's. It's like, it always reminds me of, like, when I was a kid with my mom when I first started driving, and I was like, driving anywhere and my mom would basically just like, unload upon me, like, 12 things I should be on the lookout for, because these are all parable bad signs that the car is going to blow up, I'm going to get lost. I mean, it was just every possible way to, you know, experience disaster. And it's like, wow, that does not make you enthusiastic about, you know, what you're doing. And we have to just be careful. We're not doing that to ourselves with dating.

Amen. Amen. So we're going to talk about how it is that we can actually take real action when we do see a legitimate red flag. The first one is all about moving slowly and collecting more data.

If there's any.

Anything. That is the cornerstone of our coaching. What we do, it is to move slowly through the process. When you rush things, you cut corners and you make mistakes. If we just dive in head first, because Dave came on that first date, he brought you flowers, he came on time. Oh, my God, he paid for dinner. Men still do that. If we're like, oh, my God, this is the guy for me. I think I met the one. I'm going to be exclusive with this guy. Before we know it, three months later, we're living together. Red flags are common. They're common, right?

I didn't have to say, I love how you said that you are going to move slow to collect data. I love that you use the word data. That's amazing. And so one of the things we have to remember with this Stuff is that red flags. Taking time is going to help because early on, guys being amazing isn't as special as you think. Every guy has to be pretty amazing at first. That's how first dates work. That's how getting to know somebody works. And so the earliest dates are the easiest ones for guys with not so great intentions. It's the easiest time for them to fake it. And so it's also the time that these guys have the most practice at. And this is why you need to take more time. Don't fall for a guy on the first date. Even the second date, you can be interested, you can be curious, you can feel like you're getting to know them. But a, we're all about long term relationships. And so. So the long term indicator you really want to look for is consistency. What is he doing time and time again? Is he consistently showing up when he's supposed to be? Is his communication consistent over time? You don't need forever, by the way. Right? I mean, what we have found with our clients is it takes about 10 hours. And now I know, like that doesn't sound very long, does it? Like that might even sound a little bit short. But if you know what you're doing and you're following strategies the right way and 10 hours really is plenty of time to really learn about somebody.

Yeah. And not 10 hours on the first date, everyone. All right, let's not make the first day that's had our date, please, dear God, let's not do that. I mean, total hours spent together. So you know, first dates, a couple hours, maybe an hour. And then you do the math from there. Usually by about date four or five, you have a good idea of who this human being is, is you understand their story, what makes them tick a little bit. That's enough information for us to really consider if we want to be intimate with this person or be exclusive with this person. Typically it'll take take longer before exclusivity comes into the discussion, but it gives us a solid idea if they meet what we call your love vision, like, do they have the qualities that you're looking for in a partner? It'll give you a solid idea of that. Now, with all that said, it really takes about a year of being in what we call little love. Step number seven, an exclusive, loving, committed relationship before you really know the full picture. And that might sound scary to a lot of you, but it's very, very important for us to keep this in mind. An entire year. But why, Adam? Why does it take an entire year well, you learn so much about a person during the most challenging times of their life. You learn about a man's character when he's the most stressed he's ever been, when he's tired, when he's had a little bit too much to drink, when he's in those moments where he's just revealing who he really is. It typically takes about a year to see someone in some of the darkest moments. And it. It certainly won't be their truest, darkest moments of their life, but it will reveal their truest character. And so this extends beyond just the early dating process all the way through into a year. This is why we don't recommend getting married until at least you've been in a loving, committed, exclusive relationship for a year. You want to see all of that information before you make any major, major decisions.

Yeah. And I think, you know, one important thing that I left out about the 10 hours is if you're dating how we suggest those 10 hours are really going to extend over a month, because each date, two hours. Let's say you're only going on one date with this person per week. And so you kind of math that out a little bit and you get a solid month with somebody. And like, like you just said, Adam, you know, it's going to take a year to get the full, complete, absolute, total picture. And I would even argue it might even take 10 years or 20 years to, like, I don't know. I'm constantly learning new things about my wife and, you know, just how we deal with issues and problems, but, you know, you get a pretty good, solid look at it in. In those 10 hours. Like you said, though, you can't do all 10 hours at. Don't do the thing like, start. Well, they said 10 hours. If we make this date, just go a little bit longer, we can find out everything we need. It's not exactly what we mean.

Amen. Hey, Gary, I've only. I've known you, what, four years now. I feel like I got you all figured out, dude. I got everything. Totally. I got everything. All I got to do is give you a little bit of Macallen 15, a little bit of booze, and Gary just unloads everything.

Open book. Huh?

Open book. Gary's. Gary's a good time for everyone listening in. He's a good time, man. I mean, I know I go to. I'm. I. I know I go to bed very early, but Gary, I'll stay up late just to hang out with Gary on a Saturday night with a little.

Bit of there's not a lot that can keep you out past 9:30. So I'm happy to be one of those things, Gary.

Drinking scotch will keep me up past that time. 100.

Good stuff. So as you are finding out information about your partner, you want to make sure that you are weighing the information properly. Right. And like this is going to sound nerdy, but it's a fact. All data doesn't have the same utility. All data isn't as useful as other data. And so what I mean by that is self report data is not as good as behavioral data. Right. That sounds super nerdy. And so all that really means is you have to pay attention to the video, not the audio. What is this guy doing? Not just what he's saying, because guys will say all of the right things all the time. And so, you know, this, this is research back. You know, people, what they say they want and what they actually want in relationships are often two different things. And so him saying that he is looking for long term love and wants all this great stuff and he, he's picked up some cues from you. He knows what to say. But like, let's actually look at what he's doing. Is he a nice guy? Is he a solid guy? Is he a high character man? How's he treat people? How's he acting towards others in his stories? How is he acting towards others? Like, you want to check out some of that material because you'll get a better sense of his overall pattern.

Right.

Some of the things that slip, some of the things that he didn't necessarily mean to tell you, some of his canned responses to some of your first date questions are not necessarily going to be the best opportunities to really find out what you want about this guy.

Yeah. I mean, they might even say and believe that they're ready for a relationship when they're not. If a man has been divorced for, let's say only three, six, three to six months, he might say, and truly in the bottom of my heart, bottom of his heart, believe that he wants to get remarried soon. But there will be a moment, very likely, if the divorce is that recent that by date three, date four, he might realize, I don't know if I really want to go down this road again. Ooh, do I want to experience the pain of potential divorce again? And all those emotions, all the, the trust issues, all of the pain that he experienced from his past divorce is going to come flaring up into your connection. And so that's why again, it's so important to over a longer period of time, read what he's doing, how he's really showing up, and ensure that he understands the sacrifices that need to be made to really be in a healthy relationship. Right. You know, it's so important.

Yeah. Because it's really consistency over time. That's the most valuable information. How is this man repeatedly showing up? Is he gonna have moments where he's not his best self? Absolutely. We all have those moments. And so is it a moment or is it a pattern? And the only way to really figure that out is over time. And speaking of time, Adam, you know, you made that, that comment about it takes a full year to really get to know somebody. Which, which I agree with. I think though, there's a, there's a couple ways you can fast track it just a little. Particularly because of how people typically date. Right. And so what I mean by that is when, when we're dating, we're having a good time, we're enjoying the other person, everything's amazing. We kind of want to let that amazing feeling continue. We want to keep that energy going. But if we really want to be cautious about identifying these red flags, we want to be willing to go there. And what I mean by that is let's be willing to ask the questions that he might not answer correctly. Let's be willing to find out the information about him that we may not love. Now that sounds like, well, of course I would do that. I beg to differ. Right. Like, if this guy's amazing and you're having an amazing time, it's like, let's keep a good thing going. Like, I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want to make waves, I don't want to, you know, any other boat related metaphor. Like, it's just, you don't, you don't want to, you know, mess things up. But here's the thing, you also, you really, really, really, really, really don't want to force compatibility by dodging all the potential problems. Because you need to be willing to find out things you're not going to like. There will be things you don't like. It's not about if, it's when, like that's going to happen. And one of the ways that people will do this is in their dates. They just stick to everyday chit chat. They just like, how's the weather? What are you up to? What have you been up to lately? How's work? All that kind of stuff. You can keep going with conversation for a very long time without getting to anything really deep. And this all kind of leads itself to something you call the ostrich effect, where you basically, you know, you're putting your head in the sand and just kind of hoping it's all going to work out. And you can get away with avoiding hot button issues for a while. But that's how you get yourself stuck. That's how you get yourself trapped.

I remember about 17 years ago I decided I was going to move to New York City. Who doesn't try to do that when they're in their 20s? And on the bus ride down to New York City from Boston, I sat next to a woman and we hit it off. It was wild. She was so attractive, she was cool, she was funny. She was like my first friend in New York that I met in New York and I met her on the bus ride down and we started seeing each other and dating. But I remember on the first bus ride down, she was asking me if I ever planned to like, live in New York for the rest of my life. And I'm like, no way. I'm going back to Boston at some point it's happening. My whole family's there. I don't see myself as being New Yorker. I was like, how about yourself? Do you ever see yourself leaving? She's like, no way. I'm a New York girl through and through. And I remember it was probably around like the fourth date we went out. It was just time to face this head on. And it was brutal because we both really liked each other, like a lot. And I remember going into that conversation be like, ah, I don't want to want this conversation to happen. I just want to keep it going. But I'm so glad I did because at the end of it we're like, we just can't see each other anymore. Like we're just setting oursel up for an abysmal failure in this connection, this relationship. And I don't know, I mean I, I just, I think back to that and I just, I don't know, I feel like it. Those are the moments in life that kind of define our path. And you gotta just have the courage when you hear something that doesn't strike you as, as right for your love vision, you gotta face it head on. Don't put your head in the sand because geez, we could have set ourselves up, that relationship. Yeah, we could have dated for a year and then it ended up in an abysmal failure that that could have happened. But we were able to cut it.

Off well, and then, you know, by staying in a relationship that's really not your right match. You're missing the opportunity to find the person who really is for you. Right. Like, it slows you down in many ways. And so something we talk to clients about all the time is the need to find clarity. That's really what you want, is clarity. And so if you avoid these topics, you're not willing to go there with tough topics, then you're just not going to get the clarity you're looking for. One other quick thing with going there that I think is important is you also have to be willing to go there in terms of being vulnerable and putting yourself out there. Just. And this may think of this, I just had a client the other day. She's three dates in. She says she really likes this guy, but quote her words, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. And then she shared that she's, quote, I am too. I too am pretty guarded and don't open or share very easily. And so she's. She's going to break it off. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, you got to be willing to go there. And she's like, well, what do you mean? Like, well, if you're saying he's not showing up, he doesn't seem like he wants to take this anywhere. But you're also pretty guarded. Give a little, right? Be just a little bit of. Be a little more. You have to, like, divulge everything all at once. But, like, what's the thing that you feel like you can share that you don't normally share? Share at least one thing. See how it goes, right? Like, that's the solution. That's how we get to get forward with these things. And I think, you know, so often people are scared of having these uncomfortable conversations or bringing up these tough topics because. And I've heard a client say this, I don't want to ruin the vibe. To which I say, you know, if this is going to ruin the vibe, you didn't have much vibe in the first place, right?

That's so true. And for. For those who are listening and you feel like you struggle at identifying red flags or perhaps you don't have these difficult conversations, then I have something very special for you. It's a very short quiz that you can take. It's@attraction type.com. just go over there. And what this quiz reveals is your attraction archetype. So Gary and I, a few years ago, we took a ton of data, over 44,000 client profiles. And Gary did a whole kind of like, Reese, Gary, I don't know, you nerded out with it. And we discovered that there are four different archetypes for women who are getting out there and dating. And once you understand your archetype, you can start understanding your patterns. Why it is that you're avoiding red flags. What red flags to. To avoid when you're getting out there and how to move forward in your love life. So again, that's atattraction type.com. go check it out. We'll leave a link in the description as well.

I gotta tell you what I love about that whole project, that attraction archetype thing is we did have so much data and how amazingly neat it turned out in terms of the four types. Right. You. So you. When you learn about the types, you'll kind of say like, oh my gosh, it gets you and it get. We did it. Right. We're not even right. Like we did. It was like we have our own types of. That's pretty interesting.

I'm a nurturer.

Yeah, I think we both are. I think we both are.

Yeah, we're both sonds.

So, so soft. Speaking of the opposite of soft, the next thing to do to help awkward transition. Right. So the next thing to do to spy major red flags is number four, embrace the friction. And so, Adam, I don't know how you up to date you are on pop culture, but you know Charles Kelce, who. Who he's engaged to.

I do. I do know that. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Chris, I feel like you're a little bit of a closet swifty.

I did go to a Taylor Swift concert.

I know that. Years ago.

I know.

So they just revealed recently that they have never argued. Their relationship is so amazing that they have never argued.

So what do you think about that red flag relationship? Red flag. 100% right. Oh, my God, they're so perfect. Is so great. Never getting a red flag. There is no conflict. Travis doesn't have any problems with Taylor and vice versa. No, not at all. They just don't argue. That's incredible. Wow.

Right? It's. It's clearly it's not the good sign that people think it is. What I think is worse about this no argument, no friction, no, like, everything's perfect mentality is you're missing opportunities. You're missing opportunities to see how your partner deals with conflict. Because I got news for you. As perfect as things are, if you're planning on being together with this person for the next several decades, which I hope you are, there's going to be conflict. There's going to be disagreements about things, right? And so embrace those times where there is the opportunity to have a disagreement, a difference of opinion, because this gives you a chance to see, when dealing with this guy, does he have to be right all the time? Is he always just trying to win? Does he get upset, impatient, defensive, whiny, pouty? If he doesn't get his way, does he dismiss your feelings and turn them into a joke? Or is he gracious? Is he curious? Is he interested in hearing your point of view? Does he want to understand how you see the world? Now, if that's not valuable information, I don't know what is. It might be some of the most valuable information you can find out about a person. And like, let's not miss the opportunity to find those things out.

Taylor, if you're listening, which I know you are, I know you're a long time listener of the Love Strategies podcast, you're setting a bad example for all of the women out there who are listening to you when you say that as if argument in a relationship or any type of conflict is a bad thing. And the fact that you don't have that, that's the most wonderful relationship in the world. You're just setting the wrong expectations. Because I'm willing to guarantee that there's something in your relationship that is being unsaid. Because human beings are imperfect. We need to give feedback at times. Sometimes we don't like it, but that is what helps each other grow. And so, Taylor, let's change that. You can. You don't have to say we fight. It's not about fighting, but it's about having disagreements, arguments, and conflict. That's okay, so long as it's resolved in a healthy way. That's it. That's what it's all about. So, you know, do a little press release. Feel free to mention myself, Gary, as your coach. It's totally cool. We're here for you. We're here for you anytime. So I'll give you a small discount on our coaching services, such as small fair.

So I think the. So not only do I want to embrace the friction, which sounds like the opposite of what you want to do. Here's another thing that sounds like the opposite of what you do want to want to do in dating, but it's super important. Spend some boring time together now.

Oh, that's going to get us a good headline, Gary.

No, no. Spend boring time together, Adam. It's important, man. Come on. Right? Like, ape are fun, but they're not real life.

God, we're. We. This is the Problem with us, Gary, is we. Our content is very useful and very applicable. But man, it's not that. Not headline or viral word.

No, no, but it's. This is what I like about us is that it's genuine and it's actually important. It's not just, you know, something that's going to sound good that isn't helpful.

I agree.

So your relationship in the future, there's going to be a lot more regular days than vacation days. And so let's not make everything about exciting dates. Let's find time early. Now, I'm not saying date one or date two, but like, once you're a month in, let's do like a lazy weekend day. Let's do a road trip. Let's take a trip to the grocery store to buy some stuff and then make a meal together. Let's see what that looks like because that's a little microcosm of what our future is going to look like now. This kind of thing is huge. I just had a client, her name's Margaret's, not her real name, but she was talking about this relationship. She was six weeks in, things were going reasonably well. She was optimistic, things sounded pretty good. But then she said, Gary, I decided to take what, what sounds like terrible advice, but is good. This. Do something boring. She's like, we went on a six hour road trip. It's like, okay, how did it go? She goes, it did not go well. Like, what do you mean? She's like, I learned he's an aggressive driver. He yells, he curses. He's not kind, you know, he's not fun to talk to. After a certain amount of time when he gets stressed, he gets a little bit mean and it's like, wow. She's like, I never would have figured this out. I never, I never would have thought to do something that would seem, you know, like you kind of save some of these boring things for later. But I did it earlier. And so, you know, fast forward. She is just now, right? She was talking about this before. She just now has found a guy and she's like, this guy even keeled. Super. And this is something she figured out with her love vision is like, you know, once you have an experience with somebody who's like a little bit off the handle, like, you realize like, wow, this is actually really important to me to have somebody who's a little bit more even and mild mannered. And so, you know, that thing's evolving as you go. But some of the best ways to change your low vision is data based and having those boring times can help give you that data.

I love that. I'm so happy that she's in a great relationship now with a great guy. It's so important because that is part of the process. And look, 99.9% of your time, when you're in a long term committed relationship, this is a reminder to all of you who are single. 99.9% of the time it's boring. It's kind of boring. You're kind of sitting on the couch, you're kind of doing your stuff, you're doing your taxes together, you're doing, you know, you're going for walks. It's not like these crazy, wild first dates with this crazy, wild experience all the time. Now, can that exist in a relationship? Of course, it's very exciting and you got to create that ongoing. But it's so important for us to get real and get grounded with a person because your future with this person is going to be a lot of this quote unquote, boring stuff. And when we say boring, it just means it's not hyper, emotionally charged. It's the opposite of emotionally charged. It's just like, it's just living life, you know, whether you want to call it boring or just kind of like standard days, that's what life is all about. And so it's just so important to experience that.

Yeah, there's just a lot of mundane Mondays. Right? Like, there's just like, it's just life. Like life is a certain boring kind of thing sometimes, or at least common every day. You know.

We sound so lame. I feel like it. Maybe boring is the wrong word. It's just standard. I guess it gets the point across. Just like. But so what's it, what's it like when you're sitting at the DMV waiting to get your id, you know, because I just went through that with your wife. What is that? With my wife? What's that like? You know, go experience that together. See how that date goes.

Yeah. And if you can have a good time, a reasonably good time, doing that like that tells you so much more about your future compatibility. It really does. Number six, way to figure out these red flags is you gotta hold the line a little bit and don't let him dodge. Right. Guys will. Particularly if a guy knows he's not top quality, he's not super high character, he knows he's got some things that are about him that are a little bit shaky, he's not gonna be overly revealing, he's going to dodge and he's probably gotten pretty good at it. And so some of the things that guys will do to avoid some of the juicy, emotionally vulnerable content that we're really looking for is they plan amazing dates, sweep you off your feet kinds of things. They have amazing stories. They're very charming with the physical things. He leans. These guys lean very heavily into the sparks, chemistry side of things. Right. He's asking you a lot of questions, and he gives you a lot of attention and compliments, and all of this is amazing. But we have to pay attention to what's missing, and it's anything of real substance. And so we don't want to allow him to kind of distract us with the shiny objects of the fun parts of dating and without really getting to know who he really is. So don't let him off the hook. Right. Like, if someone is serious about the relationship, they're going to be open to discussing their goals, their flaws, their future. So the guy who's always dodging those kinds of topics, those really important getting to know you as a real person compatibility questions, he's dodging those. Got to ask yourself why, right?

Yeah. If the R word is like a swear word to him, and that is relationship, Anytime that that's mentioned, he recoils, changes the topic of conversation. He doesn't want to ever discuss commitment or anything like that. Not even with you, Just in general. Like, that's just a topic that just seems like a hot topic he's trying to avoid there. Go deeper with that, explore, see what's going on there. Because, and this is just like, personal advice. If you were dating the Adam Lodolce, who's 24 years old, that's a long time ago. But let me tell you, I was at a time in my life where I was not looking for a relationship. And if the R word came around, I would avoid that like the plague. Because I wasn't ready for a relationship. And honestly, I wasn't emotionally mature enough to just directly be like, hey, before we even go further, like, strong heads up, I don't want a relationship. You know, I was. I was never dishonest. But I think if I go back in time, I'm sure I could find some of those moments where I should have just been really, really straightforward. And guys will do that, right? They'll. And the way that they'll overcome that is again, with charm, charisma, amazing dates, these amazing stories, these amazing experiences that make you kind of look past that and just say, wow, this guy's so much fun. This is great. I'M enjoying this.

Yeah. Very much. Related to this is our last one, which is to find the red flags, sometimes you have to trust your gut a little bit. You gotta. You gotta feel it. And so the feeling I think you can get with the red flag thing is don't ignore the it's too good to be true vibe. And this is super tough to do because it's exactly what you want to feel in many ways. Like, you want this to feel, like, amazing and, like, unbelievable. And like, everybody likes talking about the early stage of their relationship as perfect and magical. Right? But here's the thing. You also, if you're paying attention to yourself and how you're feeling things, you're also going to realize some of this is a little too good too soon. It's a little too much too soon. If you're having this, like, how is anybody in the world really this perfect? That's something you really want to pay attention to because it might be. It's very likely this person still might be amazing. But if you're getting this sense of, like, just mesmerized perfection, they're saying all the right things. They're giving you tons of attention. They're super complimentary. It's not exactly love bombing, but they're fall. They're falling fast. You're falling fast. That's. It feels a little hurried. It feels a little rushed. It feels like things are being left out. And maybe it's just that he's an insecure attachment, but he had his love bombing. Maybe he's, you know, a full blown narcissist. Like, we. We don't know. But I think you, in these moments, you will have this sense of, like, wait a second, what am I missing here?

What.

What's going on? Pay attention to those things and it's a sign to do a little bit more digging.

Yeah, I mean, Gary, you probably had this happen. When a client comes on and they've been working with us for two weeks, they go on the first date and they're like, oh, my God, you guys are geniuses. I've met my soulmate. I have met my soulmate. And that's when we're like, whoa, you haven't gotten through the little love steps yet. You haven't finished this process. You're just. I know you're just getting started, but let's slow it down a little bit. And look, don't get me wrong, I love the first, like, couple of months. I think back to the first couple months Jessica and I were together. It was so exciting. It's so fun. It's so much chemistry and just that, that really romantic moment in a relationship. But it's so important for us to remain what I will always say is cautiously optimistic, like, lean into that process, enjoy it, have fun. But remember, we still want to bring some caution and bring our brain a little bit along with our heart so we can, when those red flags do appear, we can kind of dig into them and really move forward. So just remember, like, spotting red flags, it's not about being paranoid or overly critical. It's about protecting your heart and making sure you're investing your time and energy into someone who truly deserves it. It's about thinking about the you in five to 10 years, not the you in five to 10 days. So I hope you all enjoyed this. Please take a moment to go through that quiz. It's going to be really helpful for you. Attraction type.com. it'll walk you through your exact attraction archetype. You'll learn a lot about yourself and Gary. This was a fun one. Thank you so much for your time and we'll speak to all of you beautiful ladies next week. All right, Bye bye.

Thanks, Adam.