9 Things Women Wish They Knew About Men Sooner

Ladies, there are nine things that I wish that women knew about men just a little bit sooner. How do I know this? Because every three or four months we host an event here in Boston where our clients fly in from all around the world. And they tend to be, you know, in the 50s, 60s, or 70s age range. And by the end of the weekend, they always say this one thing, and that is, Adam, why didn't I learn this information about men sooner? It would have saved me so much heartbreak, so, so much pain. I wouldn't have married that narcissistic sociopath that I was with for 20 years. And so I want to be able to share a lot of this information that we share at these types of events to really set you up for success. Because nobody really teaches us how to love. It's crazy to me that there is no course in high school or even middle school that teaches love education. They might teach sex education, but do they really teach us how to avoid the red flags, how to deal with heartbreak, how to avoid giving too much in relationships, or mistaking intensity for intimacy? Well, let me sum up everything in this short video with these nine truths. The first one is that you never, ever have to prove your worth in a relationship. If a guy is ever telling you, I'm not sure if you're a good fit for me, I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship. Ladies, this is not an invitation to try harder. It isn't. It's an invitation to find someone better. Say that magical four letter word, which is next, and move on to the next next. And I used to fall into this trap myself. I remember back when I was in my 20s, you know, I wasn't necessarily looking for love, but I was looking to meet women and, and date and have a great time. I mean, I was a guy in my 20s, come on. But I remember going back in time. Anytime a woman would show a lack of interest in me, it would be my cue to just lean in so hard. Because I'm a competitive guy. Like, I don't like to lose. I don't like when someone doesn't like me. And so this caused a lot of chaos in my love life because there was maybe a certain percentage, let's just call it for this video, 10% of women who were like, no way, Adam, not interested in you. I'm not. I don't want what you're throwing down, okay? And for whatever reason, I would spend 90% of my energy on that 10%, rather than putting my energy into the 90% of women who are like, yeah, I'm open to exploring you. Until one day I, I kind of had an awakening and I said, you know what, if a woman is not interested in me, clearly, then it's actually unattractive to me to pursue that woman. It was an unattractive quality. And this moment, this enlightenment that I had, it kind of set me free. It made me stop chasing people who weren't interested. And if you're like my clients, you're probably very competitive. You're probably very type A. You probably don't like it when you kind of lose. It feels like you're losing if a guy's not interested in you. But I'm going to tell you, you, that is your exact cue to say, you know what? This person's not right for me. I'm only going to open my heart to someone who is a heck yes about me. Number two is if you're doing all of the work in a relationship, it's not love, it's labor. Because there are really two types of relationships. There are partnerships and then there's employment. Okay? And a partnership is where you're both planning, you're both working together, you're both creating a life together. It's you and your partner who, who are just on the same page. You're aligned on the future and what it is that you really want to create together. It's where one plus one equals three. Not two or one or negative one. Whereas employment is when you're dating someone and they're your boss, they're your el jefe, they're the type of person where they tell you what to do, they expect you to do it. And the challenge with the employment relationship is you don't even get paid for it. Like, it's not a healthy relationship. It's a one sided relationship relationship where you're not even getting the transactional nature of it, which, who would want that in a relationship? I mean, you wouldn't work at Dairy Queen for eight hours a day for no paycheck. So why would you keep working in a relationship that's giving you nothing in return? Only explore relationships that feel like partnerships. It's going to save you a lot of pain and a lot of heartbreak in the future. Number three, when a man tells you that he is not ready for relationship, ladies believe him. Please believe this man. I had a client that we just started working with very recently and she was dating a guy for two years. And throughout this period, and this was before working with us, this man was going through a divorce and was trying to get ready for the relationship. He was trying to overcome the grief and the pain that he went through from his divorce. That's understandable. And look, he wasn't necessarily a bad guy. I mean, he was bringing her flowers. He would tell her that he loves her, he would give her all the sweet loving in the world. You name it. He was there for a situationship, but it wasn't all a real relationship because he would constantly tell her, I love you, I like you, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship. And here's the reality. His actions were showing that he wanted a relationship, but his words were not following. Now, I know that sounds counterintuitive because everyone tells you to really only listen to actions and not words. Except for this scenario. If a man is telling you he doesn't want a relationship, listen to him, regardless of what his actions are. Number four is that a good guy who's ready for a relationship is not going to risk losing you. I remember when I was single, right before I met my wife, I was dating a woman. And honestly, the connection was kind of like, meh. I honestly feel like she wasn't that in it. I wasn't that in it. And I started getting busy with work, and honestly, I didn't fight for it. And it just totally fizzled out. And then shortly after, maybe like three weeks after, I met my wife on New Year's Day, 2015, over a decade ago. And I remember at that time, I discovered she lived 45 minutes away. And previous to this moment, I would have not considered that it was too far. Like, why am I going to go through all that effort on woman I just met? But I'm not going to lie. There was something special there, and I was willing to fight for it. And there was nothing that was going to get in my way. I mean, I was willing to adjust my schedule no matter what, to see her. I would go out of my way. I don't care what was coming up with work. She was my top priority. And I will tell you, if a man wants you in his life, he's not going to mess around. He's not going to risk losing you. He will move mountains to be with you. Which leads me to number five. And that is, nobody is too busy for the right person. I mean, look, I'm too busy to do things that I don't want to do. If it's things like mowing the lawn, I'm way too busy. If it's some random Guy that I met a couple years ago and wants to grab a beer on a Wednesday night. Sorry, I'm too busy. Like, I'm not really that close with you. Sorry, I'm just not going to change my schedule for that. But my priorities, things like going to the gym, spending time with my wife, spending time with my family, I'm never too busy for that. And for all of you listening right now, you've got to open up your schedule. You got to prioritize this area of your life. And this is especially true if you're really busy, you're really successful, you got a lot going on, which is the majority of our clients. You've got to ensure that you make this the number one priority on your calendar without putting time into this process and finding love. It's not going to happen. And look, I'm here to fast track that process. So if you want to learn a step by step process to attract the man in the relationship you truly deserve, head on over to the Love Steps.com you can click the link in the description and I'm going to walk you through the seven little love steps to attracting that man and that relationship you truly deserve. It's been proven tens of thousands of times with our clients. It's a free training jump on it. And number six is that you cannot love a man into his potential, ladies. No amount of love will turn a man into your Prince Charming. In fact, your unconditional love for this guy is going to make him entitled to your love because he didn't have to work for it. He didn't have to do anything to earn that love. And if you continue to put more and more love into the connection, the relationship, the more he pulls away, basically your love becomes welfare, right? It's just like constant welfare checks that he gets. He doesn't have to do anything for it. And this isn't a political statement. This is just we don't want him to receive anything where he hasn't had to actually put in the work because he will get entitled. And the more upfront investment he puts into, the more time, the energy he puts into winning you over, the more he will appreciate it. So early on in the dating process, I want this guy fighting for you. I want him earning your time, I want him earning your attention. If he's sending you last minute texts on a Friday afternoon at 4:00 clock to grab a drink in two hours, heck no, we are not going to stand for that. Number seven is that chemistry without compatibility is just chaos. One of the first things we do when we work with a client is we help them create what we call a love vision. And that is where we get crystal clear about the man in the relationship we want. Not just in the next five weeks, but in the next five months to next five years or 50 years. Thinking long term, because here's the reality. Chemistry will get you short term results. If you're just looking for the guy who's charming, fun, interesting, handsome on the first date, I assure you you're just optimizing for chemistry. Whereas if you have a love vision, a crystal clear north star, a roadmap of what it is that you really want, suddenly now you can start optimizing for that future. Number eight is that keeping it casual only attracts who are emotionally inept. The sad reality is that modern dating has kind of tricked you into believing that dating starts out casually and then turns into something meaningful. But let me ask you, how's that working out for you? And it's so easy to fall into this trap, especially if you're telling yourself, I don't know if I'm really looking for anything serious right now, let's just kind of see how this goes. But when we date with that type of a mindset, the types of guys who show up into your life are the types of guys who are looking for women just like you. Women they can sleep with, kind of have that relationship experience without the commitment. And we are not going to stand for that anymore. What we do here at Love Strategies is all about keeping you intentional about your love life. Casual dating is out the window. And I'm willing to bet if you look back at all of your casual relationships and really audited how they made you feel, I'm willing to bet they didn't make you feel very good. There's an emptiness that goes along with casual relationships that it's not going to fill your cup. It's going to give you a small piece of that pie emotionally, but it's not going to give you what it is that you're looking for. And the worst thing is it can be a massive distraction. So hold your standards and only allow yourself to open up your heart to guys who are willing to step in and really look for something meaningful. And finally, number nine is that red flags do not fade with time. In fact, red flags tend to get even worse as time goes on. And many times what ends the relationship was a abundantly obvious at the beginning of the relationship. And so when you start dating someone and you see something that is an absolute deal breaker, don't justify to yourself that this doesn't matter. Maybe I can change this. It won't change. It won't change. Take a hard look at that journal about it. Talk about it with your friends. Talk about it with your love coach, if you have one, and really determine whether or not this person is a good long term fit for you. Because I assure you, what it is that you're seeing in the first three months only gets worse a year from now. Now. And five years from now. It only exacerbates as time goes on. So look, if I could sit across from every woman who's ever said I wish I knew this sooner, I would just tell her this. You weren't naive. You were hopeful. You believed in love. And that's beautiful. And now you have this information. And information is power. Take action on this. Be disciplined in your love life. You've got this. And you can create the most beautiful, incredible relationship of your dreams starting today. And if you want that step by step strategy to go make it happen, head on over to thelovesteps.com click the link in the the description and we'll walk with you every single step of the way and help you attract that man, that relationship you truly deserve.