Dating after 50: 7 Steps to Find Your Forever Man

Hey there, everyone. Before we start the podcast, as you all know, there's a lot of bad dating and love advice out there, and we want to put a stop to that. So if you're enjoying this podcast, you enjoy the content that we're putting out, please can you leave a review Wherever it is that you're listening to this podcast, it spreads a lot of love and it really helps get this message out there so we can help more women, just like you attract the love that they truly deserve. Go ahead and leave that review and let's jump into the podcast. How risky is this guy? Because everyone's got some level of risk, especially in their 50s. Likely he's divorced, likely he's got kids, likely he might have a complicated financial situation. You know, you name it, there's always some level of risk. Maybe he's got health issues, but we're trying to figure out the full story before we dive in deep. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship with, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. So, Gary, back when I started as a dating coach, back in my 20s, the vast majority of my clientele were in their 20s and maybe 30s. And then something happened. I started getting gray hair in my 30s, and I swear to God, that was the year when all of our clientele switched and we started attracting a lot of clients who were in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. And now when I wake up, you know, I'm in my late 30s, I would say 70% of our clients are in their 40s and 50s and beyond. And that is, these are the types of challenges we deal with is how to find love in that age group and do it with integrity and do it with having fun and excitement and making sure that you attract the right person at this age group.

Yeah, no, I, I know exactly what you mean. I. I spend most of my day talking to people in their 20s, college students, men and women in their 20s, you know, trying to figure out these relationship problems and, and the way they want to figure things out is vastly different than how many of our clients do and our Clients are, you know, with age comes wisdom. And one of the things that our clients absolutely get right is they're very willing to admit what they don't know.

Right.

And they're willing to seek out expertise in areas where they know that they don't have as much knowledge, perhaps. And so, you know, the college students are much more like, eh, whatever, I'll figure it out. You know, I got plenty of time. Like, the consequences of bad decisions don't weigh on them as much because they do have of 60, 80 years, you know, into the future. But, you know, I, I know I'm in my 40s. I, I just feel like I need to do things more efficiently, better. It's like I have to just be smarter about my mental health, my physical health, and frankly, relationship health. These things are much more important. And I just know, like, I want to get there faster. I want to solve these problems quicker. And so, you know, relying on expertise is, is one really easy way to do that.

I agree. I mean, you said one word that really sticks out to me, and that is consequences. Like when you're in your 20s and you're dating and you make a bad decision, okay? I mean, assuming pregnancy is not a part of that, that aside, consequences of dating someone for a couple months, and it's not, it didn't work out, okay, not so bad. But when you're in your 50s, 60s, and beyond, and you've been divorced maybe once, maybe twice, that has a ripple effect through the rest of your life. So when you then decide to start dating again in this age group, realize the heaviness of the consequences that occur when you make a wrong decision in this area. And that's really, really heavy.

I think that the thing about some of those early bad decisions is they are learning experiences, right? It's a, you can screw up, fine, you learn from it, you move on. But at some point, you want to stop having learning experiences and you want to have fulfilling relationship experiences, right? And so when is that? When, when, you know, relationships are important, time is short, you want to get it right, and it's, it's time. You know, I'm in my, in my 40s, and you want to get it right now because you still have many decades, and you want to make sure you're able to share your relationship and your life with someone that you really care about.

Yeah, exactly. So today we decided to really uncover a Strategy that over 10,000 of our clients have gone through over the past decade. And we call it the Seven Little Love Steps. And for Those of you who've heard the seven little love steps, I do actually recommend you listen this whole thing if you are in the 50s or above crowd, because we're going to change it a little bit, or not change the actual steps, but discuss the nuance of it in that age group for all of you. And these seven little love steps is a framework that has been, it's evolved over the years, but now it really hasn't evolved in the last four years because it just works. And most people, when it comes to finding love, they think of it as kind of a linear, step by step process. A lot of people get advice and like, do this, do that, do this, think about this, think about this. And we prefer to think about it as a journey from where you are right now. Follow these seven steps, understand where you are in the process, and that's ultimately what leads you to the final step, which is little love step number seven, where you're in a loving, committed relationship with men that you truly deserve. So, Gary, you excited for this one? I know you sweat when it comes to the little love steps. You get a little nervous talking about this stuff.

I only get, I only get nervous because you are like the world expert on this, and so I feel pretty expert most of the time. But this, I'm like, this is your thing. And I will tell you though, like, what I love about the little love steps is it takes something that is intimidating for a lot of women and complicated and confusing and potentially frustrating, which is getting back out there, getting back into dating. And it really simplifies. It puts it in seven easy steps, easy to follow, which is why I think so many people have been so successful with it.

Right? So get out your notebooks, ladies, because we're going to dive into every single step and talk about the nuance of it. So let's start with a little love step number one. So the first step in dating is not going out and meeting guys. It's not, you know, taking out the apps and swiping right, swiping left. No, it's all about you. So little love step number one is where we focus on radiating your feminine confidence. Now, there's a few parts to this, but the biggest problem we find with clients who are in their 50s, 60s and beyond is kind of a loss of confidence when they are out there and dating. A lot of people have this head trash that because they are in this age group. They can't be sexy, they can't be have that feminine energy, they can't have that softness to Them, they can't attract a high value guy because all guys just want younger women. And so a big part of what we do when we first start working with our clients is adapt their mindset and their kind of mental model, focusing them on radiating this new type of energy when they're dating, which again, we call feminine confidence.

Yeah. What I like about this approach is it's a little bit of a head fake in the sense that, you know, everybody wants to find a relationship, but very smartly. We basically say, no, no, no. Before you find your person, you've got to be ready yourself and you've got to be relationship ready. And you have to make sure you're the right person to find your person. And what I like about it is it's very empowering and it's very, you know, looking for ways to find your feminine confidence because it's there. And, you know, understandably, you're a little unsure about getting back out there, but you have to kind of recenter yourself and focus on all the things that make you so wonderful and, and then you put those things forward and that's going to help attract the partner that you're looking for.

Yeah. And when we say the C word, which is confidence, I feel like a lot of people think of that word as being a more masculine word. To be that confident person who just walks across the room and just talks to that person and dominates the conversation. That's like my initial idea of confidence. But when we talk about feminine confidence or sexy confidence, whatever the term that we've used over the years, it's actually a little bit different than that. Feminine confidence comes from your core and your core understanding that you are a high value woman and a high value person and you have so much to offer an incredible guy. And this is something that requires an ongoing reminding towards yourself that you do have that. Also a lot of personal development to get to the stage where you truly can look in the mirror and feel that way. And it's not about your physical appearance, it's about what's going on inside. It's the conversation that you're having with yourself in regards to your value as a woman. And then the feminine side of all of this is learning to just bring a little bit of softness through the dating process, which can be very challenging, especially for women in their 50s who are highly successful, who find themselves in highly masculine roles in the workplace. And to learn how to have kind of this different energy while you're dating, of learning to lean back, let men come to you, kind of be the queen sitting on a throne, deciding if a guy is right for her. And by combining these two qualities, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who is radiating feminine confidence. It just. It just brings something out in us that is. Is very primal, you know? Yeah.

And I think, you know what you're saying about confidence. I think sometimes people mistake confidence for cockiness. And the cockiness side is very much like that arrogant, narcissistic guy who's just like, he thinks he's that. And that's not what we're talking about at all. It's more that kind of quiet confidence where you're just comfortable. I think comfortable is a really good way of thinking about this. Comfortable with yourself, comfortable taking up space, comfortable being heard and all of that. When you're that comfortable and you're that confident, you are able to lean back. Right. It's not threatening then to lean back. And you, by doing so, you allow the men to step forward, make them work for it. And so you learn in this step not to invest more in a guy than he's willing to invest in you. And that comes from a place of confidence. Because if you're not confident, if you're not comfortable taking up space, you're going to be seeking and you're going to be just like, give, give, give, give, give. And that's frankly how you know you can get yourself taken advantage of. And so that's why this step, I think, is so empowering and really helps women kind of establish themselves and establish a really nice foundation of being the right person. To help you find the right person.

Absolutely. Are you tired of committing your heart to a man who only just pulls away? Well, if so, we have a very special presentation that's available to our podcast listeners. It's at a special link. It's called he commits.com and it's going to walk you through the five secret strategies that make men commit. Head on over to he commits dot com. It's only available for a short period of time. Think you're going to like it a lot. All right, back to the podcast. And so little love step number one is radiating feminine confidence. Little love step number two is not yet going out to meet guys because we need to figure out who it is that we really desire for the long term. Not just that tall, hot, handsome guy who has a six pack and, you know, also loves to play pickleball. All right. Instead, we take our clients through a process where we create a love vision. And I think when we're in our, in our 50s and beyond. If you've been through divorce or multiple divorces or heartbreak or you've been cheated on, it causes us to become very, very jaded. And we have a certain lens that we have. It's like almost wearing glasses when we're dating. And this jaded perspective on men and what it is that we're looking for can really lead us astray. So the, the next part of all this is really getting crystal clear about the man in the relationship you desire. Not just for the next two, three months, but the next 20, 30 years, and getting crystal clear on that. Gary, I know this is a step that you're very passionate about as well.

I what I love about this is again, it's we're in step two. And so people want to find a relationship. But what I like about this is like, no, no, no. Patience, right? Be a little bit patient, be disciplined and be objective. Sit before you've met guys and really think, what is it that I want? Because we know from research that people just don't spend enough time really contemplating and trying to gain insight into who they are, what they want in a relationship, what their ideal partner looks like, particularly what their ideal partner looks like beyond the next week. You know, what does that ideal per. Like, who do I want to spend the rest of my life with for the next several decades? Super important. And if you're objective about it, the biggest tragedy, I think in relationships is meeting the person who's your person, but you're not able to recognize them, you're not able to see them. And so it's just like there's nothing sadder than untapped potential. And so if you're not clear about what you're looking for, you may miss it when it's right there in front of you.

Yeah, that is, that is really interesting and really sad if you're right in front of that person and you're just not quite, maybe you're not ready to see it. You just don't quite understand what to look for. And so the three things that we really focus our clients on, three things we're really looking for ultimately is someone that we're attracted to, someone who is our best friend, and someone that we are compatible with. Those three things. When I say compatibility, I mean are your lifestyle styles similar? Do you want to go in the same places? Are your goals aligned? And really breaking those things down as to the, the must haves within each of those categories, the crazy thing about a love vision is it is not a 100 page document of your perfect guy that like artificial intelligence is going to create for you. It's actually the opposite. We actually whittle it down to the core. Absolute needs, the must haves. And once we have that, actually everyone else, so long as they meet that love vision, every guy that you talk to, you have to, you have to actually consider for a long term potential. Right. And so it actually broadens your horizon rather than whittles it down. So super important step. And for those of you who haven't taken that time, go ahead, walk down by the pond, skip a rock, bring a notepad and paper, play some, you know, music, some violence, and really have a good think thought to yourself about that piece because too often we don't put in that time. Little love step number three, which is a permanent, is a, is, is a favorite of mine, I would say, if I had to say this is the part that as a coach, I loved when I was single, I love this the most, which is to start getting out there and meeting high quality men. In my case, it was high quality women. But it's to get back out there, get on the saddle, get on the horse and go make it happen. Now, the challenge is when we're in our 50s and beyond, or even our 40s, you don't just go to the nightclub and go meet a guy. Not that I would recommend doing that in your 20s, Gary, I could, I could imagine you in the club just like getting the bottle service, getting things going.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Not at all. Not at all.

I always hated nightclubs. Just as a side, like when I was in my 20s and guys would want to. I'm like, I don't get that this. We're going to spend $1,000 on bottle service to dance with women who don't want to dance with you because they just want to dance with their friends. You can't hear anything. I never understood it. I literally still to this day don't understand it.

Yeah, it wasn't an option for me. I was in grad school, I was quite poor. It wasn't ever an option, which I don't feel like I missed anything. I was more like dive bars. Dive bars is like I, I could, I could hang there.

All right, next time you're in Boston, I'm taking you to the club just to, just so you can see what it's like, so you can see how crappy it is.

You know, I'll just, I'll take a peek and then I think I'll be Good.

All right. So clearly we're not going to be going to the nightclub to meet men. So we need to be extremely intentional about getting out there, going to high quality places to meet high value men. Now, I would say there's a lot to little love step number three. But I would say probably the biggest challenge that people have in this age group are just making making your social life a priority and going out very consistently to meet new guys. I'll talk to women in their 50s and beyond. They'll say things like, there are no good guys out there. And I'll ask them one simple question. I'll say, what has been. What is your social score? And a social score is just simply the number of guys. You've met new guys in the past 30 days and they'll be like one, like, hmm. So we have an N of one here. It's just not enough. It's just not enough. I mean, it's just pure volume. And not that you have to go out and meet a hundred guys a month, but just consistently going out and meeting new people, whether that's online dating or using what we call our social starfish method. We have five places that we recommend our clients to go. And just going to these places very regularly put taking time out of your calendar. We call it a social calendar. Building out a social calendar, whether it's once or twice a week, maybe it's one night a week for online date. For an online date once a week to go out on the weekends to. Maybe it's your country club, or maybe it's a philanthropy event, or maybe it is just a pickleball event. Whatever it is not to. I'm, I'm, I'm all for pickleball.

And.

Just being very intentional about it. What do you think, Gary?

I mean, what I like. There's one thing that you say a lot about this that I love, which is you can only be as picky as you are social. Like, you have to get out there, you have to meet people. And if you're not meeting people and you're wondering why you're struggling, you know, finding a partner, you just, you're just not. The volume just isn't there. And so, you know, you mentioned briefly the social starfish. And I know, you know, we have a ton in this step that we just have. There's too much for us to get into right now. But there is one particular activity that I love. I love talking about this one, which is the dual intent activity. Dual intent activity is where your first intent with this activity is you're just going out doing some activity for yourself. You're going to the gym, you're joining a class, you're going to play pickleball. Right? Talk about pickleball. Because so many of our clients, that is like their number one activity lately. That's what they're doing. But so you're not going to any of these things explicitly only to meet guys. You're actually doing it for yourself first, which I just think is the most brilliant way to approach things. And then when you're there doing something for yourself, if you meet Pete from Pickleball while you're pickleballing. Bonus. Right. And it's purely a bonus. And because you're not out there seeking and looking and trying to meet men, so so much the funny thing happens on the way to not trying to meet men is that you're going to start meeting men, which is why I, I just. That is absolutely my favorite activity of, of all the. The. Feels like millions of things we suggest to people.

Right. Well, the. What it does is it removes what we call outcome dependence. So if you're going out and you're playing pickle ball, your goal of going there is not to hopefully find a boyfriend. Like, that would be outcome dependent. Like, I'm going out tonight and I'm finding the love of my life and he's going to get my phone number. We're going to spend all night talking and it's going to be wonderful. That is going to put a lot of pressure on you. And usually when you have a lot of outcome dependence, you're. If, if the outcome of your, if the goal isn't achieved, then you're going to be frustrated, that would be outcome dependent. It puts a lot of pressure on the situation. But if you're outcome independent, which is like, I'm going to go have fun, meet lots of guys, flirt, have a great time, but if something happens, great. If not, great, I'm playing pickleball, It's a great time. And that just naturally radiates this type of energy that just attracts men. It's crazy. It's crazy how that works. And by the way, the same thing goes with, with men. Like, I remember certain stages of my life when I would go out meeting women. And if my number one goal of the night was like, I am going to get a phone number tonight, let's just say, which is like a classic thing for a guy in his 20s to do, I just need to get a number, I'm not getting a number. That Night. It's just not happening because I. I probably am displaying this kind of needy energy, and I'm just so focused on the outcome that women are like, this guy seems a little thirsty. Whereas if I'm just going out, having a great time with my friends, the crazy thing is I was actually just on a bachelor party this past weekend. I'm not out to, like, meet women. I'm a married man, and I'm just having a good time with all my college friends. And that just naturally actually attracts a lot of women to come up and want to talk to us. Like, versus, if we went out and like, oh, we got to meet girls, we got to meet girls, then what would that do? It would actually push them away. So, yeah.

And I mean, that approach, like, I have to go do this. If it's needy, it's. It's desperate. Right. And that's just not attractive. I would also just say, you know, anytime you put pressure on yourself, that doesn't lead to good decision making. Right. Often that leads to, you know, simple shortcuts, all that kind of thing, and that's just not going to lead to the best possible outcome.

Right. So once we go through little love step number three, the goal is to get our social score up, be meeting lots of guys. Throughout that process, you're going to find some guys that are potential prospects, guys that you want to go on dates with who are asking you out. Great. You have now graduated to little love step number four, which is qualifying your dating options. This is when you go on a date and you might be going on maybe one, two dates a week, depending on your schedule. And the goal is to qualify these guys for your love vision, see if they're really a good fit for you. And this doesn't mean going on like an interview date. It's having the mindset of essentially knowing that you are the prize that he is begging to win over. You are the decider. You are the chooser, not the chaser. So kind of a lot of this is mindset, but it is also the way that you're approaching these dates. We're not trying to just impress this guy and get him to like you. No, you're the chooser. You're the chaser. You are deciding if he is worthy of the your life. And that is what little love step number four is all about.

Yeah. And this one, it's about being curious. It's about making sure you're gathering enough information and not making a quick assumption. This guy seems like the right guy. And then Trying to make everything fit, that it's like, no, no, just wait. I'm here to learn. I'm here to just learn about this person, what their life is like, how they are. I want to see if they're a fit for me. And again, it's not trying to impress somebody else. Um, it's make. You know, so often when people go on dates, they try to focus on, I have to be interesting, I have to impress the other person. And you do, on some level, want to be impressive, but you also need to be interested. And you really have to find out as much as you possibly can, because you don't know that much about this person. And the more you can find out, the better decisions you're going to make going forward.

Yeah, we're essentially figuring out what are the red flags, or as we call it, you're assessing relationship risk. How much risk is there associated with this man? Now, that's like an hour long topic. I won't get into that whole thing, but we are always assessing how risky is this guy? Because everyone's got some level of risk, especially in their 50s. Likely he's divorced, likely he's got kids, likely he might have a complicated financial situation. You know, you name it, there's always some level of risk. Maybe he's got health issues. But we're trying to figure out the full story before we dive in deep. And we're definitely not at this stage starting to think about marrying this guy or moving in with him or anything like this, Which I think very nicely brings us to little love step number five, which I know is Gary's favorite little love step, which is where we pace the progression of your connections. So it's at the stage that we're going out with anywhere from two to three guys at the same time, relatively consistently. So since we. We've been going through little love steps three and four, we talked to a lot of different guys. We're kind of assessing our options. It's at this stage now, little love step five, where, yeah, we have. We kind of whittled it down to two or three guys that are really good potential prospects that meet our love vision that we like. And this one is really challenging for a lot of our clients, especially when you're in your 50s and beyond, because you're thinking to yourself, no one's got time for this. Like, I'm ready to move this forward. Let's get this thing going. All right? Because I get it. It's like you've been meeting so many guys, you finally Met a guy you really like, Usually there's one guy you really like. But it's at the stage that we have to fight that impulse to want to just dive in headfirst, and we actually slow things down even more further. Right?

Yeah. And I think this is essentially what strategy is all about. Strategy is about coming up with ways to deal with your impulses that may not serve you as well as they. As they might. Right. And so you want to see this person all the time. Everything's amazing. You want to go, go, go, go, go. You want to focus only on one person. That's what your biology is telling you to do. But what we're suggesting in this, this step is slow things down so you don't make a mistake. Because if you focus too much on some of those early feelings, the early part of relationships, it's always pretty good. And so you don't want to just get yourself kind of caught up in the momentum of that and lose sight of what's really important. And so, you know, one of the things we didn't mention in step four, when you're qualifying, is so many people qualify people by going on these exciting dates. Like, you know, it's like a mini episode of the Bachelor. And that's great and all, but, like, we don't have time to get into all of it, but we do also. We focus on emotional dating. And emotional dating is like trying to really get to know the other person. And there's ways to do that. And that's part of what pacing is, too, is we want to slow things down so we're not just focusing on how attractive they are, the excitement, all the tingly feelings. It's like, is this person right for me? And to really figure that out, it takes time. And so we want to go slow. We want to date multiple people. Not necessarily. You know, and this is not being physically intimate with a whole bunch of people. It's just you're dating to get to know people. And as you get to know more and more people, you get more information, you learn more about how guys are. Maybe you revise your love vision. You learn some things that, oh, I didn't realize how important blank was to me. Oh, I can see how. How tall they are is not important to me. And then it's. It's a process, and you get better and better at this as you go.

Yeah. And dating multiple people at the same. That is a huge challenge for women, I would say. We spend about 70% of our time discussing this. Like, this is a huge topic. Around 70% is probably strong, 50%, but it's high. It's a lot. But doing this is so effective for a couple reasons. Number one, when you pace, it actually builds desire from the man. If you are the one who is pacing him, then suddenly you are in the driver's seat. If you're the one who's actually trying to move faster than he is, suddenly he's in the driver's seat. And so we don't do this to be manipulative. We do this because it's a healthy way to date. But it does have this extra impact, which is he is going to actually want to speed things up even more. It has a crazy, crazy effect. And the second reason we. We date multiple people at the same time is that it allows you to be able to say next. When you realize a man doesn't meet your love vision, it allows you to walk away from bad situations. When you realize on that fourth date that he says, you know, I'm kind of like, I'm the type of guy who just would never get married again. I just. I don't even see myself committing to a person at this point. I just kind of want to keep things casual. You know, if you're only dating one person, at that point, you've gone out with them four times, you're starting to get those really good feels. What are we gonna end up doing, Gary? A lot of women will fall into that casual trap and just kind of move with it. But if you have this guy Steve in front of you saying these things, but you also have Jim and Joe on the side, you're like, I don't need to deal with Steve and this crap. No, next later, I'm going to talk to Jim and Joe.

Yeah, I mean, if you're entirely focused on one person and that person starts developing really major red flags, major problems, you're starting to get a sense of a couple of deal breakers in there. If you're only dating one person, and particularly if you've been with them for a little while, your. Your motivation switches and you just, you get into this mode of trying to force this thing to work because no one wants to think that they wasted time. Time is of the essence. Like, we want to make sure we want to find our person. If this person isn't it, I got to start all over again. And like, all of those things are bad motivations to have a good relationship. And so by having multiple people and what I always say to women who are hesitant about this is, this is not because they usually have one guy who seems to be in the lead. He's like, oh, I don't want to date. I just spend all my time with this one guy. Here's the thing. Dating three other guys isn't going to diminish that one guy. It should just make him look better and better. And then what you get from this is. Is the greatest gift of all, which is certainty. You're now much more certain about your choice than you would have been otherwise because you've seen other guys. So it's like, oh, I'm sure that Brian is the best guy.

Yeah. At that stage. Right. You have as much certainty as you could possibly have, which I think segues as well into little Love step number six. At some stage in little love step number five, it just becomes glaringly obvious who your choice is. Right. You're gonna assess based on attraction, compatibility, and friendship, where that closest connection is. And this is usually pretty straightforward. Sometimes we have clients that are like, can't decide between these two guys. Typically, the answer to that is more time and more information. But usually anywhere from a month to two months of being in little love step five with a guy, typically he's pushing for commitment. Or it just becomes glaringly obvious that, like, you're spending a lot more time together and it's time to move to little love step number six. And that is where you set clear boundaries for a committed, exclusive relationship. This is having a clear conversation about what commitment really means. And if you think about it, commitment really is a boundary set between two people. Now, the challenge when we're dating in kind of an older age bracket is that I think a lot of people, especially if they've been. If they're recently divorced, they kind of assume that dating now is the same as it might have been 30, 40 years ago, where if you're just seeing someone regularly, it's assumed that you're in an exclusive relationship. That's not the case nowadays. Like, you can be dating someone, dating and sleeping with someone for six months. But if you haven't had the conversation about exclusivity, it is not an exclusive relationship. So we set a very, very clear line between little Love step five and little love step number six. Little love step six is where you have a clear, defined relationship and you set a boundary of what commitment really means. And really, it's just exclusivity between two human beings. And once you're at the stage, you're in a committed, exclusive relationship.

Yeah, I would say, you know, you were saying earlier how we talk a lot in our sessions about pacing. I, I think this is another area. We, we spent a lot of time helping people how to have these conversations, what to say, how to say it. Because really so often it's like you said, we just kind of assume that we're exclusive, which is a, was a bad assumption. And then the other piece is people are uncomfortable having these conversations. So often it's, do we really need to talk about it? Like we both know what we are? No, like you do need to learn how to have these conversations because something else that is 100% true is how you date sets up your future relationship. And so if you're not able to have these kinds of conversations now, later in your relationship, when you're three or year 30, are you going to be able to communicate then? And so you want to set up and establish some of those norms. I mean this, this step's about establishing boundaries. One of those boundaries and one of those expectations is communication. And so you want to establish early on we are going to be able to talk about the tough, uncomfortable things because that's how we're going to get through things, right?

And you know, little love step number six typically lasts anywhere from three to six months, maybe a little shorter. But the biggest difference between little love step six and little love step seven is little love step seven is when you, when he says that he loves you and you reciprocate that when you're in a loving, committed relationship and you start really thinking about your future in a much more serious way. So if we really look at the holistic and then of course, once you're in little of step seven, that's where we graduate our clients to what we call relationship synergy. Not to complicate this, but that's a lot of what, what Gary does with his synergy work. So looking at this whole process, there's really just to summarize everything, there's really three major milestones here. Little love steps one and two are all about you, okay? That's where you radiate your feminine confidence, you create your love vision. Little love steps three, four and five, or where it's all about meeting lots of guys, talking to multiple people, right? Let's call it them. This is about meeting them. Little love step three, getting out there, meeting high quality men, little less. Step four, qualifying your dating, your dating options. And little love step five is pacing your connections, slowing things down. And then once you get to little of step number six and seven, it's all about we. It's Just you and him, really focusing your attention on that man in that relationship. And you can see that if you really have a strategy like this, you can always know where you are in the process. If you find yourself in little love step number six and two months in, it just isn't working for you. You don't have to feel lost. You can say, next, and then what do we do? We go back to little love step number one, and then little love step number two, and then little love step number three. And so you always have a linear process. You always have that power to walk away from bad situations. So for those of you who do feel lost in your relationships, and you are in this age group or any age, I do recommend having a strategy, having that step by step process so you don't have to feel lost. And of course, having a community support group to make it happen. All right, so now we're at the end of the podcast and hopefully you got a lot of really great information from this podcast. But as we know, information can only take you so far. It's time to take some action. So what I recommend you do now is head on over to loveapply.com it's going to walk you through a series of questions and then you'll be able to to book what we call a complimentary love strategy session. Yes, you've heard it. Someone on my team is going to get on a phone call with you, be able to understand your situation, what it is that you're struggling with in your love life, and create that strategy to help you attract that man, that relationship you truly deserve. So take that action. Go make it happen. We cannot wait to speak with you, loveapply.com and yeah, let's help you create that love life you truly deserve. All right, speak soon.

Bye.

Bye.