Dating Over 40 Feels Impossible? Not With These 5 Shifts

If you're getting out there dating after 40, sometimes this whole finding love thing, it can feel literally impossible. Like, why isn't this working for me? And that is what we want to shift today. And so in today's podcast, we're going to give you five shifts that you can use to really get out there and find love in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're sitting single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, your relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Gary, this is gonna be a good one, man.

Yeah, I like this topic. It sounds like a little bit of a downer, but I promise it's not right. Because when we say dating's tough, and I like to say to clients, dating's tough, it's really, really hard. And I don't say that to be a downer. I just say it to be realistic. Because if you start telling people, oh, it's easy. It's super, super easy. And then everybody's experience is like, no, no, it's actually not. It's not easy. And so the message I like to give our clients is, it is hard. But here's the thing, we make it easier. And so the number one thing I hear from our clients, and I swear I hear it at least once a week, is something along lines of, I wish I knew this stuff sooner. Like, I had somebody this week on a mastermind say to me, gary, where were you when I was in high school? Like, where was this information? This would have saved me from decades of misery. I'm like, no time machine available. I'm sorry. But, you know, it's like, if not now, when? Now's. If you couldn't learn it before, now's the next best time because. Because you don't want to be any more miserable than you need to be going forward. And, you know, while dating's hard, we can make it easier. And so that's a little bit of what we're going to do today.

You were also just a little baby, right? They were at high school. You know, most of our clients, you're just like, what? Crying little baby? So you weren't even around, man. You weren't around. You know, and it is really interesting. Like, we ran analysis recently of our clients and their age group, and we found that the vast majority of our clients are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. And I mean, this really has, has become kind of our core group that we work with because I think it's because so many of them, people in the women in that age group just have this mindset that dating has to be difficult the entire process. And yes, dating can be challenging. There's no doubt. And everything in life that's worthwhile tends to be a little bit difficult. But there are ways to make it just more exciting and more fun. Like, it's so rare in this age group for people to say dating is fun. You know, when women are in their 20s or people when they're in their 20s and 30s, they're like, oh yeah, date is great times, good time getting out there. But then it's like you hit 40 and you're like, oh, what is this hellscape of swiping and emotionally unavailable ghosters and these blood sucking vampires who just suck my emotional energy dry. You know, it's just this shift. And so that's why I think we want to change in this conversation.

Yeah. And I think what happens too is like, later in life, you get successful in life by gritting your way through things. And I think there's just some of that, like, oh, yeah, this is going to be hard. I just have to suffer my way through it. Which, I mean, I guess, I mean, that's one approach. I mean, certainly that is one approach, but it doesn't have to be that hard because for most things in life, you don't just suffer through them. You get help, you get assistance, you get prepared. Right. And I think that's the key thing is you get prepared. Because, you know, I know one of the things I hear our clients say is, you know, I feel lost. Like, like nothing works like this online dating thing they got. One client recently said, I've been on online dating for a couple of years and I know this doesn't work. Like, I know online dating just is not going to work. And then, so, you know, like, I always just get curious, start asking a couple questions like, oh, what are you doing about your profile? Like, what are you doing about pictures and like, what kind of sites and blah, blah, blah, blah. And literally, Adam, like, she rattled off Almost the top 10 of what not to do. And you said to her, I'll just call her Carol. So, Carol, here's the thing. I don't.

I got good news for you.

I got good news and bad news.

Bad news.

You've been doing everything wrong. But the good news is every single one of those things is fixable, and we can help you fix it. And once you do, all of a sudden, it's all going to shift. And she was like, what? No. Really? Like, yeah, no, absolutely. Like, that is literally what we do every day. Every day we do this. And I think that's the shift is that she was just like, no, no, this is how it is. And it's like, if you don't. If you don't know any better, you're not gonna be able to do any better. And, you know, we're all about knowing better.

Yeah. And look, I get it can feel intimidating. Like, Carol, she's probably like, she was overwhelmed with the process. She was intimidated by this whole process. She probably is hearing all these rules from her friends or, like, don't do this or go do that. And there are too many apps, too many scammers. It's, like, just too much to process. And I get it. It ultimately just puts you in this hole where you're like, I can't get. It's has you feel hesitant, you didn't want to dive in. It makes you feel hopeless. And so I think today, with these shifts, hopefully gives you a massive ray of hope that all this is possible.

When I. When I go to the gym, my gym's got this thing, this poster up, and it says you against you. And I'm like, I get it for the gym, but I was like, you know what? That actually applies to so many things. And I think that's, you know, we're going to go through these five things to make dating easier. And so much of it is really you against you. It's like, we're going to help break down some of your expectations, some of the resistance that you have, some of the excuses, and a whole lot of impatience. The good thing is strategy helps everything happen faster. We're not going to rush it, but strategy helps things just naturally happen quicker. And so that's what we're going to focus on. So we're going to dive in. Five things you need to make dating easier. The number one thing I think, and we're starting here very intentionally, is number one, authentic support system.

No, you know what?

When things are scary, what makes it even scarier? Going alone. Right. You want to go into a dark room. No.

By.

With someone else. Okay. All of a Sudden a lot easier. Right. It's just even the most basic of things. And so everyone listening, you have friends, but friends, while supportive, aren't always giving us the best quality of support. Right? And so they give us a lot of reflexive, superficial support, like, you go girl, you rock. It's all his fault. Men suck. Like, it's like he's a jerk. It's not you. You're golden, you're a queen, you're perfect. And it's like, of course you are, but at the same time, no one's that perfect. And you are the common denominator in your relationships. And so sometimes an outsider who sees things a little bit more objectively is helpful. You also have family and friends. Right? Family and friends are, are classically good at giving well intentioned but incredibly misinformed advice.

Right.

Like, I know we have clients who say, you know, well, my older aunt says I should not be on the dating apps. I'm like, well, aunt Mildred and you know, what does she know about the dating apps? Of course she's going to be like, oh, the computer is haunted. You know, it's just, that's not the way to go. And so, you know, I also think there's one other category where people, again, probably well intentioned, but there's almost like this passive aggressive, mean spirited commentary or advice where someone says, oh my gosh.

You'Re just so beautiful.

I don't know why you can't find somebody or someone saying like, you better get on this, you're not getting any younger. It's like, oh, I mean, like you want to, like, dating is already challenging, but then to have people in your orbit making it more challenging, oh, you need, you need to do better and you need a better community around you.

Yeah, I think, and this is especially true for women and groups of women's friends. And I know I'm a guy who's 40 saying this, but I do have experience of coaching tens of thousands of women in my life as an executive love coach. So hopefully that carries some weight with what I'm about to say. And that is that women tend to be very supportive of each other in groups of friends. But the support in many ways can, is not necessarily as authentic as what I found among men. And let me like, continue with this because I know this is a little bit controversial. Women will lean into almost always, you're amazing, you've got this, you deserve better. And although that is well intentioned advice, sometimes they're not telling you the real underbelly of what's going on. There's just a culture within women, within women's groups of just 100% support. And maybe you don't have that group of friends, but that's. And obviously, I'm painting with broad strokes here, but bear with me. Whereas what I found with men is it's a little bit different. Men are actually not nearly as supportive. But when men are actually giving advice, men tend to actually get to the heart of it. Gary, I don't know if you agree or disagree with this, but, like, men have a way of being like, dude, you just went. If I went to a group of my friends, and I'm like, man, I've gone on a couple days late, and they're just not going. Well, my friends would be like, dude, you need to step up. Like, clearly, you're saying the wrong things. You're not doing the right thing. Let's talk through it. And they will just, like, hit me right across the face, you know, metaphorically. Like, get your life together. Like, this is on you. And, you know, I. I think that there's pros and cons of both, but what we try to do just to land this plane here is we try and within our community, of giving that support, as in, you can do this while at the same time delivering in a way that's actually useful. And I think that that is kind of what sets us apart. Gary, I'm curious on your thoughts. I'm just kind of thrown off.

Yeah, no, I completely agree. And I see it with our clients. Women are default kind, kind and caring in all ways towards all people. And sometimes kindness and caring get in the way of good advice of guys are not burdened with the same problem.

Right?

Like, your guy friends are not burdened with the. Like, how can I deliver this message to Adam kindly? It's gonna be like, no, bro, you need to iron your shirt. Yeah, it's not. I know you love this shirt, Adam. I know. Like, it's your favorite, but you, like, it's not. Guys just don't do that. There's, like, a no filter. They're not worried about kind, not worried about hurting feelings. Now, don't get me wrong, that has other problems associated with it for sure, but I think that's where, you know, creating the norms within a community is such a difficult thing. But it's a special thing when you get it right. And it's the thing that. That I'm. One of the things I'm most proud of, you know, is I lead the coaching staff here at Love Strategies. And, you know, we're responsible for content and the education and the courses and all that. But also, we help run the community. And our community, they're so good at being supportive, they're so good at being kind, but they're also really good at doing what we do, what I think we model, which is just a little bit of tough love, which is like, you know, I've seen comments in the community of, like, someone saying, like, you know, I went on this date and I did this, and someone's just like, I'm sorry, you just can't do that. Like, you're being too picky. Like, you know, the fact that he wore flannel and you live in the Northwest, like, a lot of guys wear flannel. Like, you're gonna be able forever.

Is. Cannot be part of your love vision. I'm sorry, right? No, you are going to go on another date with a guy wearing flannel, you're gonna be okay.

Right. Which is so different, right? Because, like, I think in other contexts you would get from your friends.

You do you.

If you don't want a guy, like, if you don't want that, you don't deserve that. Like, you need a guy. And it's like. And I also just always point out them, like, he can change his shirt.

Like, it's fine.

Like, it's totally fine. But I think, like, that's the thing is who you surround yourself with, the support system around you will make dating easier. And it's just, you know, your. Your tribe is your vibe, right? And it's like, you got to find your right, your right people.

Amen. Amen. You want to take us to number two, Gary?

Sure. So the next one. I love this one. So this one I called activate your Venus mode. So I don't know how many of our listeners were into basketball. I'm not actually even super into basketball, but I did know you probably have heard of Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant, great basketball player. One of the things he was known for was this idea of mamba mentality. And it's really just this idea of, like, toughness, grit, resilience, like, dedication to the process. You're going to work hard. It's about focus and evolution. And he was known for this just obsessive drive for greatness. And it's like, I love that idea in so many ways. But I think, you know, when it comes to dating, like, you can't be, like, you can't white knuckle love, right? Like, it's really hard to just, like, force Love, you can't do that. So that I think there's not waking.

Up at 4am like Kobe and like you know, doing the apps. Like he was, I think hitting like a hundred shots every morning. Just, yeah, warm up before practice. That's not happening in dating. Got it.

Yeah. It's just not going to be effective. It's actually probably counterproductive. Right. And so I was thinking about this and I was like, how could this apply to dating? And I think there's a way, what I called Venus Mode. And so Venus mode is you really just start from a place of self respect, self love, and that's the foundation. You're just you unapologetically, fully. You're amazing, authentic, accepting of yourself. You try, you stop trying to make yourself small. You stop trying to diminish who you are to fit in, to get anybody to like you. I call it a I don't shrink, I shine mentality. Like, I'm not going to shrink myself to get a guy to like me. I'm just going to shine and that's going to attract and be magnetic to the right kind of guy. Part of that comes this Venus mode self love thing with just a comfort being single. You're not for everyone. Great. Everyone's not for you. And I think just accepting that is a really great place to start. I think Venus Moon is also emotional mastery. It's being control of your emotions, understanding, you know, the wounds of your past, not taking that out on future partners. You're reflective, you're insightful, I think you're playful, you're powerful in combination. I think that together you're bringing joy, fun to the experience and you're growth oriented. Right. You're approaching life with a sense of grace and grit and looking for ways to grow when things don't go well. Because nothing in life is perfectly simple. Things are not going to go well. Instead of getting down and be like, this is what I knew it was going to be like. That's not Venus Mode. It's more. What's the lesson here? How can I grow from this? How can I learn from this? Like, this is a challenge. I'm going to rise to the challenge and to keep doing better in the future.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that word grit is such an interesting one when it comes to dating, but it is something that I think, especially as you're dating a little bit later in life, when going out to an event is not exactly as exciting as it might have been when you were in your 20s, like going out and just Meeting new people. Like, I don't really personally now I'm. I'm in my 40s, man. I don't really want to go out and meet new people anymore. Like, it's just. I mean, sometimes I do, and I'm in the mood, and. And I'm a social coach. Like, I should be more excited about that. But I just think you get to an age where you're like, I got my people, and that's who I want to hang out with, and that's what I want to do. I don't want to do small talk. But when. Where later in life, like, sometimes you do have to kind of grit it out and go make it happen and go do the thing that actually gets you the results. And there is no substitute for going out and meeting new people when you're single. Like, if there's anything that we're constantly just working with our clients on is just holding them accountable to actually getting into that. That Venus mode, I'm going to steal that from you. I love that. Which is like, staying focused on meeting new people consistently and realizing that 9 out of 10, the guys that you meet, you might not like, but it was so worth it. When you find that 1 out of 10, it's so worth it. And so, you know, as part of this conversation, I do want to give you all something. A little extra bonus for those who are listening to this podcast that I think could help you when you are getting out there to be able to captivate men on a much deeper level. So Gary and I put together this really special seminar. If you head on over to lovecaptivation.com we're going to give you access to this really special seminar that we put together called the Love Captivation Activation code, where we're going to give you basically the six things that men first notice in a woman and really walk you through this process of being able to get out there and captivate the right guys. When you go actually go, make it happen so it can be more fun for you, it can be more exciting, and you're actually attracting the right types of guys.

Can I tell you my favorite part about the Love Captivation code?

Yes, you can.

This is really nerdy, but I put together the PowerPoint for that and this. You wait till you see the title slide. The title slide is my pinnacle of PowerPointing skills. It is, like, the best thing. It might be the best thing in my life, Adam, I have ever created. I'm so proud of that. Like, I've showed students I'm like, guys, you want to see some serious PowerPoint magic? Like, watch this.

You know what's the hardest thing about dating past 40 is you got to go on dates with guys who are bragging about their PowerPoint. Like, oh, you have no idea how good my PowerPoint skill is.

Adam. This is what I talk about all the time. It's the quirkiness advantage. Like, I am going to be unapologetic in my proficiency for PowerPoint. I don't care. You don't like a PowerPoint guy.

There would be some lady who'd be so into that. She'd be like, oh, yeah, you do.

Know we had a past client who would come up to me after our live events and always be like, gary, I do PowerPoint all the time. And your PowerPoints are like, the best I've ever seen. I'm like, you are speaking my love language.

I have. And it will make you feel good to hear that I have never once in my 15 year career doing this have I've gotten that. So, yeah, because your PowerPoint suck. So see, ladies, this is how men talk to each other. That's a loving, right in your face way of making it happen. So again, that's lovecaptivation.com. gary. Let's move on to the third one.

The third one is using what I call a soft power protocol. Here's the thing about relationships. So much about relationships and dating, it's this exchange and vying for power. Now, so much of the pursuit of power is a prototypically kind of masculine concept, but it shouldn't be, because both partners need to have equal power for a relationship to work. So you can't lean back and just say, oh, he will do everything. Let him take the lead on every possible thing. I. I'm not going to do anything. We want to have what I call soft power. And so soft power is feminine. It's receptive. It's a quiet, confident strength. You're not forcing things. You're allowing yourself to be intuitive. You're allowed allowing yourself to lead with your openness. You're unapologetically authentic. You're graceful. You're not seeking approval. And so it's like this idea. It's power, but in this, like, reserved, graceful, sophisticated way, which is just kind of this knowledge like, I know I'm good. You've got to come to me.

Right? Right. And insecure power is very loud by nature. And this is a very different way of approaching dating, which, by leaning into your feminine, which is basically, stop trying so hard. Loosen your grip a little bit. That actually makes dating not only more fun, but it actually puts you in the power seat. It's wild. This is probably the biggest shift we work on with our clients. The first month that they start working with us is just learning how to sit back, but not in a way that is weak, but in a way that is strong. Another example of doing this is by. If you stop trying to prove yourself on every single date, like that is the masculine Matt. For all you ladies listening right now. You've probably been on a date where a guy keeps talking, talking, talking, yapping, yapping, yapping. He's just trying to prove himself, telling you why he's so great. No, that's fine. The guy can do that. He can try to get you to like him. But you, nah, you're the qualifier. You're the one sitting back, seeing if he is right for you. You're asking him questions. You're interested in him. You're not trying to be interesting every step of the way. You're not trying to about your, you know, your title and everything that you do. You don't have to do any of that.

Lean back.

It's okay. Enjoy the process. And at the end of the day, I think one of the best ways to do this is to just be outcome independent, which means that you will go on dates, you'll meet new people, but you're not so concerned about the outcome of that conversation or that date. You're not thinking yourself, oh, man, I hope this guy calls me again. I hope that this turns into a second date. I hope that he likes me. I hope that he kissed me. No, just go on these dates. Don't worry about the outcome. Bring your most playful, incredible self, Charismatic, interesting self to that date, and then suddenly guys will be vying for your attention. That's kind of the natural order of things, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's all about taking a what happens, happens kind of approach. You know, like I always say to people, my very first academic position I got completely by accident because I was applying to jobs, thinking I was going out to practice, applying for jobs and practice interviews because I really didn't think I was going to be done grad school in time to get the job. So it was like, this is totally. It was the lowest of pressure, and I just kind of went in with, like, no pressure whatsoever. Didn't take it honestly, didn't take it completely seriously, and just was completely myself. And turned out that worked. That if I thought I was trying to get the job in a different way. I probably would have tried to be somebody I frankly wasn't, and I probably wouldn't have gotten the job. And I think there's just something to that of.

That's the soft power. That's it. The power. I've had so many. Just on that same note I've had. We're interviewing a lot here at Love Strategies, and because we're growing, which is fantastic. But there's some people that go on an interview, interview, and you can tell they're thirsty. They. They'll say anything to get the job. Whatever you say. Oh, can you do this? Oh, of course I can do that. No problem. I'm. I cannot wait to work for you. And. And look, I understand that energy. But then there's the alternative, which is the soft power are people who come on and they'll answer the question, but then say, well, Adam, let me ask you a few questions about Love Strategies and why it is that you'd be a good fit for me. And I'm like, okay, I like this new dynamic. This is interesting. I kind of want this person working here, you know, and it's. And it works exactly the same way with dating. It's the exact same way. And I think that's what you experience with. With your work is just like, you didn't need anything to happen, so you didn't come in with any, like, kind of that needy energy. You were just like, hey, I'm Gary.

Whatever.

This works out cool. If not, no. Remind me where I said Dr. Gary.

I don't know, but I think, like, this is the exact same thing. Like you said with relationships. It's, you know, what can Love Strategies do for me if someone's interviewing for a position in our company? But, you know, in dating, you just ask a guy, like, what makes you different from the other guys. Like, qualify him, put him in the spot where it's like he's got to kind of rise and prove to you what's going on. And I think the other piece of soft power is allowing the wrong guys to next themselves.

Right.

When you authentically make it clear who you are, what you're looking for. Some guys after what seems like a good first date are just. You're not going to hear from them again. And sometimes it's like, oh, gosh, what did I do wrong? Nothing.

Nothing.

You did every. You probably did everything right. You just were clear in your intentions that you were looking for something real, something long term and something fulfilling. And he heard that and was like, oop that's not what I want. And he just nexted himself and like that's and great. Right? Like that's soft power. People decide that they're not a match and that saves you a whole lot of trouble now and in the future.

Yeah. And I really think just because again, our audience typically is over 40, 50s, 60s and 70s. There really are kind of two types of people in my experience are clients that we work with. One is the type of client where if a guy kind of flakes or he doesn't follow up, the client's just like, ah, totally fine, all good, I can move on. And then there's another type of client who, before they started working with us at least they would just crumble from those situations. And what we're always reminding our clients of is that if guys are automatically nexting themselves because you are kind of positioning yourself as a high value woman, which we, we teach you exactly how to do, that this is all a very good thing. And so by having that attitude of like, yes, okay, maybe this guy flaked because he realized he can't play games with me. And that's a good thing. It's a huge reframe that you can use when you're dating in that age group. Yeah.

And I think just one last point on that is like when you are healthy, mentally healthy, physically, you're just like a healthy, strong person. You're intimidating to people who are not healthy, strong people. And so some of these guys are like, oh gosh, I cannot hang, I cannot keep up with this. She's way out of my league. And just take themselves out of the game. Which again, another really good outcome. So number four, number four, way to make all this a little bit easier is learning from real life experience. And so you what, you practice, you improve. If you keep doing things, whatever that thing is that you're doing, you're going to get better at that thing. And so clients will tell you. One of the things I say to people all the time is get out there, when in doubt, go out. And here's the great part. Like you want to go out and you want to learn from your own experience. Great. And you want to have those experiences and not date in your mind all the time. And dating in your mind is like, oh, I know if I meet this person, he's going to be X, Y and Z and that's going to lead to a B and C outcome. And I can already see our future. And I know, I know how this is going to turn out. To which I always say, no, you don't, really don't. And if someone did that to you, you would think it was patently unfair. So instead of dating in your mind, just go out, meet people. I think the other great thing, and we talked about this about our community, but you get to learn from real experience, not only just from your own experience, but from something we call in psych psychology, vicarious experience. So you learn by watching others. And so in our masterminds, you, you come on and you might even have a question, but you just kind of sit and you listen to everyone else's experiences and questions and you learn so much about what to do, what to look out for, all the, you know, tactics, strategies, all these kinds of things. And it doesn't have to be from your own direct experience. But the great thing is like this isn't, and this is coming from somebody who's, you know, I love research and academia and all that stuff. It's not just book knowledge, it's like people out in the world practicing this stuff, real life. How did, how did the guy react to this and how do I react when he reacts to this? When he texts this, what do I say? And you can learn so much from watching and learning from other people in their experiences.

Yeah, there's no doubt. I mean, when I first started Love Accelerator and kind of our group style program, I mean I used to do a lot of one on one coaching, you know, a decade back. And then I moved to more group model just because there was so much demand for what we did. I didn't know how it was going to work because I'm like, oh man, is everyone going to just come in and there's just going to be like hundreds of questions with so many clients. And what we found is that clients can ask questions at any time they want and they are always answered. But most clients kind of just sit in just to learn and to listen. And so much of that kind of rubs off on them where they're like, oh, I didn't even think of that scenario. Therefore I'm not going to repeat that pattern. And that's why it's so much more effective in my opinion, than just one on one coaching. Like, and I really deeply believe that just by being able to connect and listen to everyone else. And there's a second effect that I think we don't talk about enough within our community itself. And I think I'd like to lean into this more, which is this idea of the protege effect, which is by teaching other people, it helps Both them and you. So when our clients are going on a mastermind or they're in a community and they're telling someone that maybe this guy is not right for them, they should reconsider it. For. For X, Y and z reason suddenly. Now, by giving that advice, it requires you to live up to those values. And so by actually, like, and I found this in my own personal life, like, when I became a love coach. I'm curious if you've experienced this as well, Gary, through your career, but, like, the more I've leaned into being an executive love coach over the past 10, 15 years, like, I had to live those values in my life, otherwise I'd just be a complete fraud, you know? And so by giving so much advice every single day, it forces you to embody these values and these ideas. And so we really do encourage our clients. And for those who aren't ever going to become a client, that's totally fine. You can still use the protege effect just by listening to this podcast and giving some advice to your friends. When you give advice to someone else and it's good advice, it's thoughtful advice, you are going to be forced to live by that same advice. Otherwise you will also feel like a fraud. So I think it's just such an important, it's such an important idea that I never, ever thought about until we had this kind of group style coaching where all of our clients get in and they advise each other.

Yeah, no, I, I can totally say, totally say in the last three years, which is the length of time I've been doing this, it's like I have gotten so much better as a relationship partner myself. Right. Like, I'm a better husband. I'm just, just better at communication and just seeing things. I don't know. It just, it forces you to understand dynamics in such a different way. And when you have to explain something to somebody else, whether it's giving advice or asking good questions or just kind of giving your perspective, you have to master it so much better in order to share it with other people. And I think that's super, super important.

Yeah. And so I think we want to leave you with the fifth thing that's going to just make your dating life just so much easier is just having a plan. Because there is so much contradictory advice out there from all kinds of experts. You can go on TikTok, you can go on Instagram, you can go on YouTube. You get every single piece of advice that you would ever be seeking. But the problem is when we're getting advice from different sources, and we're getting a large consumption of advice. It can actually be quite overwhelming and very confusing, especially if they contradict each other. So it's very, very important to be mindful of what it is that you're listening to, who it is that you're listening to, and make sure that you trust that what you're listening to actually works. And so we're here. We have, of course, a very simple system that we've been teaching for the past decade to help women just like yourself get out there and attract love. We call it the seven Little Love Steps. We talk a lot about on this podcast. But whether you use the seven Little Love steps or you have your own system having a clear plan with a set of kind of guidelines and principles that are going to guide you through every kind of moment that's going to happen through your dating process, by having that, you're going to suddenly feel so much more in control of this process. Whether it's a Little Love Steps. I'm biased, of course, to say it's a little love steps. Whether it's that or something else, that's up to you. But what I would not recommend is having many, many different types of ideas out there from many, many different types of people that's going to just leave you thinking to yourself, oh, my God, this is absolutely impossible. And that's where I think a lot of people are in today's social media landscape. Everyone's just so freaking confused. Like, it's just like it's information overload. I find this myself. Even Gary, like, you and I both listen to a lot of podcasts. It's like by the end of a week, I'll sometimes just be like, my brain hurts. Like, I don't know. I don't even know what to trust anymore, you know, and see you kind of just like step away from it there.

I forget where I heard this, but I completely believe it's like, I love this insight, which is if information was the problem, right, everybody would be skinny in perfect mental health and make perfect investments in the stock market. Information's not the problem, right? And so sometimes this information consumption idea, I think it is the procrastination of choice for smart people, right? Where it's like, I need to do this thing. And so people intuitively like, I need to date more or date better instead of doing that thing. They think I just have to learn more. And they keep learn, learn, learn, learn and learn. And they just get in this pattern of constant learning without much doing. And so Sometimes the doing takes some help, but it's really what it really takes. And this is the fifth one that we're talking about is like, it just takes a plan, whatever that plan is. But have a plan, have a system. Because as we started off this whole podcast with, dating can be tough, but there are ways to make it easier. And so, you know, please make your life easier because your relationships will make your life better.

Yeah. Amen. And we've today we've talked a lot about Love Accelerator and everything we do here with executive love coaching. And what I would love to do is just invite anyone who is ready for a plan, who's really ready for a course of action, ready to actually take that step forward in your love life. I would recommend you go to loveapply.com it's a. Don't share that link with anyone because it's only for people who listen to this pod and who are really getting in this information. But go to loveapply.com and you can apply for a love strategy session with someone on my team who's trained on all this stuff. They're going to understand your situation, see where it is you want to go, and then they'll apply the little love steps to your unique situation if they think it's the right fit. And they can welcome you with open arms to our community, to Love Accelerator, and to everything we do. We'd love to walk with you every single step of the way. This is our kind of signature program. We've helped tens of thousands of women get out there and attract love and do it with a plan. And we'd love to welcome you by. Yeah, go ahead. Loveapply.com baby. Gary, you know all the love strategists, they're awesome human beings. They're incredible. And yeah, get on it.