He’s Moving Way Too Fast? Say THIS to Slow Him Down

Well, surprise, surprise. That tall, handsome, successful, charming guy who is such a gentleman on that first date, takes you out on a second date and then bam, out of nowhere he wants to take you home, he wants to move things forward. He's making some of those moves. Are we surprised that guys do this? No. You probably experience this a lot of times as a guy. I'm definitely not surprised. But what do you do in that situation? And I know you think I'd probably just say next and move on to the next, but I'm going to give you a different perspective that I think will help you out a lot in that situation. What's up, everyone? Admiral Dolce here. I'm an executive coach and CEO of Love Strategies, where we help successful single women get out there, find love with a proven strategy and do it in an empowering way. And I got to say, as always, I'm your big brother watching out for you to make sure that these guys who are trying to pressure you into bed, they don't have a chance to get you into bed on a second date. No way in hell around here. Because that's what big brothers do. I kind of block you a little bit. Excuse my French here, but it's true. We need to slow it down in the early stage of dating to ensure that this guy is actually a good long term potential partner for you, not just some short term fling that it's going to go anywhere from three weeks to three months and then burn up and just this blaze of flames once you realize that this guy's just a raging narcissist. So this topic actually came up last night on one of my mastermind coaching sessions with some clients. I thought I would talk about it today. And one client in particular is talking to a few different guys at the same same time. I know for those who are new to Love Strategies might think that's a little weird, but that's what we do around here. She's in what we call little love step number five where she's pacing the progression of her connections. You want to learn all the little love steps, just click the link in the description or head on over to the lovesteps.com we've got a free training there that'll walk you through everything. Anyways, she's in little love step number five. She's talking to a few different guys, but there's one guy in particular who she's really into. But this guy on the second date had a very different demeanor than the first date. He started to really start touching her in ways that, you know, clearly indicated he's trying to make something happen over here. And it made her feel excited by him, but also wary. Is this guy only interested in that or does he want something more? And so the first thing that I want to do is start by giving a little bit of perspective of the male mind. And it's important for all of you ladies to realize this because you might forget it. All men go on first and second dates and third dates and fourth dates and fifth dates thinking about sex. That is the driving force in the earliest stages of dating for men. Does that mean that that's all that they want? Well, some of them. Most guys, however, want a relationship, want commitment. All the research shows this. But when they're actually going on these dates, we're just a bunch of dumb animals over here. And we're just like, I like her, I want to have sex with her. And so the mere fact that this guy is starting to push things a little bit is not very surprising to me. And it's not immediately a red flag necessarily. But there is a strong caveat to all of this. Now, of course, if you're totally creeped out and this guy is just pushing crazy boundaries, of course we're going to say that magical four letter word, which is next, and we're not going to see this guy again. But on the other hand, like with this client, she's really attracted him. She was excited to see him. She was kind of getting a little bit turned on. And that's okay. That's what dating's for, baby. Let's do this thing. So here's what I told her her do. I told her on the next date, she goes on with this guy, if he starts pushing things a little bit, just say these magical words. Look, I'm at a stage of my life where I'm looking for something real. I really want a long term, healthy relationship. And I've really enjoyed getting to know you. I'm really excited to see where this goes. But in order to find that, I need to really ensure that we're moving slow, getting to know each other before we take that next step. Boom. Now we have just set the expectation that a you're looking for a committed, exclusive relationship. I want him to know that if he's starting to push things and if that scares him away, then good riddance. All right, as your big brother, that guy's out of the house. He's never welcome back into the house. Goodbye. And secondly, we have said a very clear boundary. This is you putting Yourself in control of the dating process. Never forget this. The feminine energy is the most powerful energy throughout the dating process. These guys are the pursuers. They hoping that you will like them. They are trying to do everything to impress you, whereas you're just sitting back like a queen sitting on her throne, deciding who's right for her. You can slow people down at any stage of the process. You are in control. Now, here's the biggest caveat to all of this. Once you set this very clear boundary with this guy, if he oversteps the boundary again, now we have a freaking problem. The red flag is not that he's trying to kind of push things forward. That is perfectly natural. A lot of guys will try and do that because these guys have a huge fear of being put in the friend zone. But once you say, hey, buddy, we're moving slow. And by the way, do that in a very like, sexy confidence, feminine style, voice, tonality, you know, of course we're going to do that in a playful way, but hey, buddy, back off, slow it down. Once we say that this guy better adhere to the boundary. And if he's continuously pushing the boundaries, now we just have a boundary issue and that guy is dead to us. People who continuously overstep boundaries, men or women, whoever, they are terrible in relationships. They will be the worst partner for you in the long term. This is actually a good thing that we saw this early. So in many ways, by saying this phrase, you are kind of testing this guy. You're testing him to see whether or not he can actually listen. Use these, not these things right here. These do exist. And it goes into the brain. And then he takes real action based on what goes in here and then see where it goes. If he keeps pushing it and pushing it and pushing it, he's dead to us. If he listens and then slows down and goes at your pace, great. Let's continue seeing this guy. So I want to hear from you in the comments below. Have you ever had a guy push just a little bit too hard too early on? And have you ever set a boundary with these guys? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from all of you. And if you would like some guidance in your love life, supporting you, guiding you, helping you get that clarity, that courage and the confidence to get out there and find love. Love. Head on over to loveapply.com or click the link in the description. You can apply for a complimentary love strategy session with someone on my team who's going to chat with you. Understand why it is that we're attracting certain type of men, how it is that we can start attracting the caliber of men that you truly deserve, and then walking you through this process step by step of how we get you there. Click that link below and I'll speak to you very soon. Bye bye. And by the way, if you're enjoying this style of video, let me know in the comments. I'd love to hear from all of you as well as leave any questions that you have because these are totally off the cuff and having a lot of fun shooting them. Let me know and I'll speak to you beautiful ladies next week. All right. Bye bye.