He's Pulling Away...Now What?

You are truly the prize. And if he wants to be with you, he's. He's with you. Right? And. And that's just such an important part of all this, is just realizing how much you really have to offer a relationship. And if you. If you don't fix that core piece of it, you're going to find yourself constantly chasing men in the wrong at the wrong times, in the wrong places.

Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships.

Now, whether you're single or dating or.

In a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship Coach here at LoveStrategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

All right, Gary, I've been at this game for over a decade, and I just happen to know, as do you at this point, that if you make any piece of content about why men pull away, women go nuts over it. I don't know. Why. Why do you think that's the case?

Because it's. It's. They. It's the. Everyone's biggest fear. Because you spent all this time and energy getting a relationship, you finally found somebody, and now it's like all that work, all that, all those apps, all that time.

Poof. Yeah, just. It's like the ultimate loss in control is when you just feel like that thing that you finally feel comfortable and secure in that relationship, that connection, and then out of nowhere, you're like, wait, what's happening? It's different. It's changing. Ah, what do I do? So what were you gonna say?

I was just gonna say, because now let's say it's not just like this hypothetical person, it's like something you actually know and something you actually care about. So now that you care about it, the loss of it is just that much more profound. And so the pain is potentially greater than. And so that's why you, like, no, like, come back. Like, don't. I don't want to lose this.

Right, right. I was thinking back when we were talking about this, discussing this topic. We have a client in the Love accelerator Mastermind, and she's been single her entire life. I believe she's in her mid to late 40s. Don't quote me on that. If you're listening to this client, I won't say your name, don't get mad at me. But I believe she's mid to late 40s and she's never been in a relationship before. And by following the little love steps, doing all the work, it's been about six to eight months of her being in the program. She finally met a man that she was into and she's in the very first relationship of her life. But she came on a mastermind and something interesting happened. She was direct messaging me and chatting with you and just kind of hitting us up and be like, what's happening? This guy is pulling away. How do I handle this situation? Like just freak out mode, Absolute freak out mode. So I asked the classic question, which is, well, how long has it been since you've last talked? And she said, well, it has been about two days. And I laughed and I said, clients, it's going to be okay, I promise you. And I did that in a very non condescending way because I get it. I felt that exact freak out. Just what's happening. I remember when I was dating Jessica and I wouldn't hear from her for a day and it's like all you can think about, your mind just goes absolutely crazy. And that's really what we want to address today is that moment where you feel something slipping away. And we tend to make very rash decisions that can actually make a situation much worse. And I think by the end of this you're going to feel just so empowered if this ever happens to you to make the right decision in that situation.

Yeah, when I think, you know, if this ever happens to you, I think one of the things to realize is like, this is going to happen in the sense that you are going to reach a moment in your relationship where you feel like your partner isn't just as close, as readily available as into you as they were before. Because that's the natural progression of a relationship. And so it's, it's bound to happen. And so I think that's the most important point to kind of get out of the way first is like, what does this mean? Everyone's like, what does it mean? What does it mean? It's possible, in fact, likely it doesn't mean anything. It's just they're living their life, you're living your life, you're kind of getting into a routine and it just doesn't mean anything. Like we have such a need sometimes in life and in relationships to just infuse and extract meaning from everything our partner does. We can micro analyze every text they send or don't send. And it's like, this is one of those times where it's like, maybe it just doesn't mean anything. Maybe this is. This is like a wait and see kind of thing. And it's like, you know, hey, it's only been. I think it was like 46 hours or something. It was something crazy. It's like, wait another 12 hours, like, sleep on it. And it's like, sure enough, the guy texted the next morning. I think it was. It's just like one of those things, like, lower the dude.

A week. Wait a week before we're going to actually really extrapolate any major concern at this point. And a week is. It's like. It's like 10 years when you're in a new relationship and you're so excited, it just feels like so long. And I think that that's why it's so important to just remind yourself that we need to stay rational at the stage of our relationship. Once again. I totally get it. We're all there because we don't want to lose it. So, Gary, walk us through some of the ideas that you have about what to do when a guy pulls away. I'd love to hear.

Yeah. So, I mean, first we said, you know, it's possible, it doesn't mean anything, but then there's also times where, like, the guy actually is pulling away. It's not like, like a minor texting thing. It's like there's actually like this feeling, like you're feeling that emotional disconnect, like he is pulling away. And so when it comes to making sense of that, you really have to think about the timing. And so timing is everything. We hear that all the time. Time is everything. But it's like, what part of your relationship are you in? And if you're early in the relationship and he's pulling away, that typically is a bad sign. Because if he's pulling away early, what do you think that. What does that mean? Is he. Is he that into you? If he's pulling away early, what do you think, Adam?

No. And we should probably defined or define early, because I think a lot of people might have different definitions. My definition of early is before is little love steps one through five. Like before an exclusive, committed relationship, or maybe in a newish committed relationship, maybe a month in. Is that what you consider to renew?

Yeah, I think, you know, the first couple months, like before you've, like, defined the relationship. You had that DTR talk about, you know, we are exclusive, committed, that those early stages, it's when they're pulling away. It's. It's a lot more problematic because it's possible that that shows that this person that you're with has an insecure attachment, in particular, an avoidant attachment. They're starting to feel you're getting a little bit close, and that sends off the alarm bells. And then they're like, nope, and they pull away. And so that's something that you'd want to have kind of your radar up for. It's also possible they're creating distance because you're getting close and they're not there, and they don't have time for you because they have another partner. That's always a possibility.

Right.

Like, if they can only see you every other weekend and not in their hometown ever.

And you haven't met a living soul in their life, and you have no idea anything about that human being except for when you're sitting across from that person sleeping with him.

Right?

Yeah, it's. It's very possible he has another partner.

Another partner, another family. Like, I mean, you just. You have to be careful. You have to know that kind of thing. One of the kind of bad situation that you can end up in when you feel him pulling away early is he knows he doesn't feel about you the way you feel about him, and so this doesn't feel good to you. But he's actually trying to be nice in the sense that he knows, like, things are getting too serious and he doesn't want to totally hurt you and devastate you. So it's. I mean, granted, he should just be more honest and open about it, but it's him trying to do a good thing by kind of maintaining a little bit of separation, a little bit of a barrier to preserve your feelings going forward.

Right? Yeah. And I mean, think of it from the flip side. Probably anyone listening to this has been in a situation where you start dating someone. Like, I don't know, I'm not so sure about them. Like, they love to broil salmon every night because that's their favorite meal. I don't know. I hate salmon. So whatever. I thought of something gross. To me, they have salmon breath and you're just like, ah, I don't see it, but I'm not quite sure. So you start to pull away a little bit. Maybe you've been in that situation. And what's crazy about this is when someone starts to pull away from you, you actually start to value them even more. Like, it has the opposite effect. Like, if a guy starts to pull Away from you, you start to. We, as humans, we value what it is that we don't have. We value people when they, in some ways, are playing hard to get or being hard to get. So by the very nature of him pulling away, that just creates this really toxic environment. Because, you know he's pulling away because he already senses that you don't. You're not, you know, you're getting a little too serious too soon. And, uh, by him pulling away, it only just, like, adds fuel to the fire. And now you're in pure chasing mode.

And so it's really important for you to remember this conversation when that happens, because you're gonna wanna do the exact wrong thing, which is chase him down, be more with him. And that's the exact wrong thing to do. Because he's basically saying, like, I'm not feeling we're as compatible as you think we are. And quite honestly, what you really want is to be with somebody who's compatible with you. And so, you know, it's a kindness in a way, but it's not.

It's.

It's a good message not properly sent. I should say I was.

The worst thing that someone can do at this stage is they can confess their love for the other person. When you feel him pulling away at that stage, you say, okay, he's starting to pull away. Rather than do my own thing, put my energy elsewhere, let him come to me if he's willing to step up to the plate. Rather than doing that, you sit him down or you call him, finally get in contact with him and say, look, I just didn't tell you I'm falling in love with you. Don't do that, please. God, no. I had something like that happen to me. Even though I told the woman I wasn't interested in anything and she felt like the best thing to do was to go even further over the top. As if that was going to suddenly trigger some instinct within me to want to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't know. Have you ever had anything like that happen, Gary? No, not.

Not in that particular context. But it is, like, weird. It's like one of those weird impulses. Like, you know what? You know what? This really awkward situation needs a grand gesture.

Yes.

And it's like, no. All you're doing is compounding the pain of the rejection with severe embarrassment. Because now, like, you've really put yourself out there and that's counterproductive. And so, you know, I think we can all agree, like, these are situations no one wants to end up in. And so, you know, maybe you're wondering, like, how do you. How do you end up in this situation where, like, you're early in this relationship during a time, and things should be just amazing and the other person's pulling away, perhaps because they're feeling incompatible? Like, how does this happen? And any part of it is, one, you pick the wrong person, right? Two, you went too fast, too soon, and it just fizzled out, right? Like you were madly, deeply in love. You saw them every single day. You did all these things that we in our program warn you against doing, right? We suggest the opposite date slow, so you don't run into this problem. And the last one, thirdly, is like, you possibly just built this relationship on the wrong components, right? A lot of times people build their relationships based on physical attraction, chemistry, all of which are somewhat important. I mean, those are important elements. But if you rely too heavily on those kinds of things and not enough on compatibility, right? Like the friendship side of things, then you're more likely to run into this pattern later on where things are going great, and then all of a sudden, people are starting to pull away from you because there's just not enough substance there to kind of carry and propel that relationship forward.

Amen.

Hey there, ladies. As you can see, we're just getting this podcast off the ground. And since we don't run any ads, I only have one quick favorite ask in return. Can you just take a quick second right now, pause this episode and just.

Leave us a review. Wherever it is that you're listening to.

The podcast really help us out a lot, and it really does spread the love, and I think the world needs a little bit more of that. So I appreciate you. Now, let's get back to the show.

I call it the three by three rule. Anywhere between three weeks to three months of getting to know him, if you move too fast, you start spending every single day with him, texting with him every single day. Before you know it, you're. You have a. Your toothbrush and handbag in his place and, you know, bag of clothes and everything. You're basically living with the guy. Anywhere from three weeks to three months in, he's going to pump the brakes and be like, hey, you're moving too fast. Even though. Even if he was the one who's pushing things fast. So this is just the ultimate in, like, just fizzling out. And it fizzled out very, very quickly. So women, by nature, this is why we push this so hard, need to be the pacers, need to Be the one who are ones who are slowing things down, being intentional, because guys aren't going to do it. They're going to push and push and push and push. And then once all the. Those love chemicals, the honeymoon period, it kind of wears off, they're going to start to pull away and move on to the next. So we need to be super intentional at that stage when it's early on in the connection, just really moving. So that's why we have an entire little love step completely focused on this one concept. And that is definitely the little love step most of our clients struggle with the most.

Yeah, and it goes back to something we say a lot, which is what gets you together isn't what keeps you together. And so, you know, it's. It's hard because so many of those early experiences are going so well. And, you know, the human nature is like, if it's going well now, it's always going to go like this. And it's just. If it's built on the wrong things, if you went too fast, it's not going to last. And you're going to be constantly surprised. Why? Six months in every relationship, it just kind of like, goes away. And then, you know, oh, he let. He was pulling away. That's bad. And it's like you kind of get in this really bad cycle, and that's, that's what we're trying to help you get out of with this talk. So all that's really bad. I mean, that's just. All. That sounded awful. I mean, that's just like the greatest hits of. Of bad relationship experiences. But that's all, like, when the guy's pulling away early in the relationship, later in a relationship. So, like, to define later, you've defined the relationship. You're committed six months. Like, you've been. You're. You've. You've gone from that new relationship into, like, established couple.

Right.

And so here, when you sense your partner pulling away, this is one of the second, like, people freak out because it's like we finally. I finally arrived. I finally got to the destination I've been after this whole time, and now he's leaving. Like, what's going on? And so the thing I want people to appreciate is, like, this is going to happen.

Yes, it's absolutely going to happen.

It's going to happen. And so people think when it happens to them, like, it's never happened to other relationships and only happens in bad relationships. No, this happens. This is part of the natural. Like, you can't be at a Super high level the whole time. Eventually you kind of like drop back down to like stability, predictability, comfort, all the things that we want in a long term relationship. This is a sign of a guy getting comfortable. So it is a good sign. When you've been in a long term relationship and what you're feeling is him pulling away is actually him expressing that he's secure in this. He doesn't have to worry about this. It's not something that needs his constant attention. It's kind of like, okay, I feel good about this, now I can go focus on other things. And so you always talk about guys focusing on other things in terms of their career at this stage.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, well, think, think about the kind of the brain chemistry of what happens from an early relationship to an established relationship. Early on in the first three to six months of a relationship, your brain has the same kind of makeup as someone who is literally on cocaine. Like, you have so many love chemicals just flowing through your body and love is literally addictive. You don't see the imperfections in that person. You think everything is amazing. And even you'll listen to this podcast, like, yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying, but no, no, he really is amazing. But what happens is once you hit that six month, four to six month time period, suddenly everything starts to shift and you start to see each other's imperfections. And the man, in my experience, the man tends to pull back a little bit in a healthy way because he is now like, okay, I love this woman, I'm with her. I really want to build a future together. Now that I'm kind of out of this, like, we're having sex like four times a day type of phase, I'm going to start focusing on the things that are important to me in my life so that I can build a future with this person. Such as focusing on work, very common situation. A guy will suddenly start to really lean into his profession because he wants to be able to provide. And I know that sounds like very 1950s of me, but it kind of is ingrained in us as men to just want to provide a great life for you. Maybe he's going to be thinking about buying a house with you. Maybe he's going to be thinking about being able to travel with you and spend the. Whatever it is. And so by nature, if he's starting to pull away, then it may not necessarily be a good thing. It could be a bad thing. It could actually be a good thing. And another thing that just happens, I should say when you are going through that honeymoon phase is you kind of disconnect from your friends, your family a little bit. You focus all your energy on this relationship. And he might wake up in six months and be like, holy crap, I haven't gotten a beer with Bob at the local pub in like six months. I'm going to start hanging out with Bob a little bit. And all the while you're thinking, what is happening? Why is it not the same as the first six months? The answer is it'll never be the same as the six months. Those six months are a beautiful thing. Like, I think back to my first six months, my relationship, oh my God, it was like so cute and adorable. And I really thought, like, that was going to last forever, even though I know this stuff. But the reality is the relationship shifts and it actually gets deeper in a different way. I think it becomes more real, actually, once you hit that six months. And obviously as the relationship develops. So, yeah, I think it's an important thing to keep in mind. And we call it the cool down period. When you get to this phase, things start to cool off. Don't freak out. This is very normal. Honestly, go do the same stuff. Reconnect with friends, reconnect with old hobbies, reconnect with your identity. The things that were important to you back when you were single, because you probably lost it for a little bit there. All of that is super healthy.

Yeah. And I think, you know, the, the big picture thing here for people to realize is it's not always about you specifically. We take things very personally. A lot of times, particularly when it comes to our relationship, we think like they're playing. It's something about me, it's something I did, it's something I said. It's about who I am. It's not. It's. In this particular case, it's a re shifting of priorities. And so you think about a guy's main priorities in life. Love life, career, family, sports, team.

Right, right.

It's those things. And so we all know and properly. So, like, love life comes first. Like you if you don't have the love life. Right. All the other stuff doesn't really matter.

Right.

And so he spent the last six months prioritizing his love life to the detriment of all those other things. And so now it's like, wait a second, I now have to go touch base with all those other things to make sure. Like Bob, he's gonna be lonely drinking a beer by himself at the bar. So I just. You have to check in on all those other things. And like, he doesn't want to let drop all those other priorities. And here's the other thing. You don't want him to drop all those other priorities either.

Right.

Because that's what makes him him. And so like I said, you know, it happens. It's going to happen. It will always happen. And it's just, it's important to realize it so that you can properly deal with it when it does happen.

Therefore. Yeah, I mean, I really think that there are three. I mean, there are many phases of relationship, but I would say there are three core phases. One is the honeymoon phase, two is the cooldown phase, and that three is like the, I don't know, lifelong companionship phase. Whatever, Gary. Give me a better term.

Synergy.

Synergy. Thank you. Relationship synergy. And I would say that when you are in the cooldown phase, that requires the most patience out of all this because you'll go from like, being single, like dating, meeting a ton of people, that's really fun, that's exciting. Then you'll go to a new hot and heavy relationship. Really fun, really exciting. And then you go to this cooldown phase where you can't date other people. You're relying on one person and it's no longer hot and heavy like it used to be. And you're not yet at the phase where you're living together or married or have really have the security of, you know, a lifelong, you know, agreement that you're going to spend the rest of your life together. And so you're kind of stuck in this weird phase where you just got to be patient. And that's hard. That's really hard for a lot of women, especially when, if you're at a stage in your life where you really want to start a family, let's say you're in your mid to late 30s, 30s. I've seen a lot of women who are in that phase of life who just, they can't seem to just be patient during that phase and just kind of let you kind of get in the same wavelength with one another.

Right? Yeah. And I think, you know, it's important because like we keep saying this is going to happen in, in the long term relationship that we want. This is going to happen. It's something we're all going to have to deal with. So I thought we would kind of finish this out by talking about some of the strategies people can use to deal with this kind of thing.

Love it.

And so I think one of the main things is like, when this Happens particularly in a long term relationship.

Right.

We're going to focus on that part now. Is don't ignore it.

Right.

If it's something that's troubling you, if you're really like worried that it's something about your relationship, like we talk all the time, I say it all the time is like, keep small problems small. Communication is the way to solve all problems. Right. And so ask and you don't have to like, you know, don't be accusatory. Like, hey, you're pulling away. Like that's not the way to assume good intentions.

Right.

And all you have to do is say things like, hey, I feel like we aren't connecting lately. How are you feeling? Or I'm missing you, everything okay? Or I'm picking up some like weird vibes between us. It's like, are we cool? Like however you want to say some version of that. But just again, open ended broad, like give him space to talk and explain. And it's not, you're not making about the relationship, you're just asking like in general, like, how's everything going?

Right.

That way he has a chance to explain because that if it is a problem about the relationship, he'll be able to fill it in.

Right.

If it's not a problem about the relationship, it's probably like, has nothing to do with the relationship at all. It's like something at work he's got and like he'll be able to explain that and then that can put your mind at ease.

I would say assuming that this has been going on for a couple weeks, that would be my cap. Yes. Like let's give it a little bit of space before we do this because I mean, look, just we've done this for a long, we've had thousands of clients and sometimes they won't hear back for a day after like a date. And then I would not recommend after that being like, hey, I'm picking up on weird vibes. We. Okay, so give it a, be a little bit patient. I would say a week, maybe even two. If you just feel it's like a little bit distant. That's where I would throw this out. I love that I'm picking up weird vibes like we okay. And it's a great way to just initiate conversation. Chances are he's going to be like, yeah, it's great. Like I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, A lot going on in life and yeah, everything's great.

Well, and I think this goes to exactly what you said about like giving a little bit of time goes to the next thing that we suggest, which is like, don't let your anxiety get the best of you, because it can get the best of you in two ways. When you start getting in your head about, like, he's pulling away. He's pulling away. It's. You can think, oh, he's gonna leave me. I'm gonna leave him first. Like, you start, like, he's pulling away. I'm gonna run away, or I'm gonna shut down, and I'm not gonna give him anything because this is going bad, and I don't want to get hurt.

That's bad.

The other thing you can do is chase him. He's pulling away. You start like, he's busy at work, and all of a sudden you start texting him 10 times a day, like, how are you?

How are.

It's like, that's just making everything worse. You're becoming needy. You're becoming clingy. You know, don't do the guilt trips. Like, I. Oh, don't. You don't want to spend time with me or the nagging or pressure or any of that kind of stuff. And that's all the ways your anxiety can get the best of you. What you want to do instead, and kind of what we just suggested a second ago is stay still.

Yeah.

Let it. Give it a week. Give it two weeks. Build up enough to see the pattern. Keep a lot of these things in mind. Focus on yourself, your other relationships. Like, just let it simmer for a while and just kind of see how it goes. Keeping this. All this information we're giving you here today in mind, because it'll give you a clearer picture about what's actually going on.

Yeah. Just be present with. With your life and your relationship. I think something else that happens just kind of related to this that I think is important to mention is that when you're about six months into a relationship. Well, actually, I should say when you're single, you kind of have this assumption that once I'm in a relationship, all my problems will be fixed. And then you're kind of six months into a relationship, and he starts to go up and do his own thing. And then you start to separate a little bit. He's pulling away. And you suddenly realize all those same problems you had back then, they still kind of exist. Those anxieties, those. Those challenges, everything going on, it hasn't been fixed. And that's kind of a harsh realization that I think people will struggle with at this phase. And it brings out even more anxiety because I Do you get what I'm like? Have you ever felt that? I definitely have felt that because I'm like very go, go, go. I'm always like trying to achieve, trying to get something. And then once you get to a place, it's even like for us, when we got married, it's like you think, oh, once I'm married, everything's great. It's like, honestly, no, same old stuff that you've ever. Same old issues that you've ever got. Whatever it is, if you're a highly anxious person, that doesn't go away. And if you're struggling in any area of your life, that doesn't go away. So I think that that's just important to realize, especially because the majority of our clients are single or people listening to this are single or casually dating. Just to realize that, that it's not really an accomplishment getting there, you know, you just gotta be present.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's an accomplishment, but it's an accomplishment that still needs constant nurturing.

Yes.

It's like you put, people are willing to put a lot of work into finding their partner, keeping their partner. Like you said, it's like at that point I was like, oh, we can just leave it to fate. I mean, that's kind of how it's supposed to be. It seems like that seems really romantic. Once I find the right person, then life's easy. Yeah, no, it's not easy. It's easier than if you don't find the right person. But like that relationship needs nourishment like anything else. And so you still, you can't just get lazy in love. Like you have to keep feeding it, nurturing it, sustaining it, and doing all that stuff. And so, you know, some of it's sustaining relationships, some of it is you'll notice your partner pulling away less if you have more of your own things going on. Like, don't make your relationship the one and only end all, be all self defining characteristic about who you are. And so, you know, keep doing your own hobbies, keep cultivating your own interests, stay busy, like have things that occupy your time. And so then that way you're not constantly, you don't. You then just won't have time to notice, frankly, like all the time your partner is doing other things too. And then that way you can each spend your time apart and then come back together. It's something, you know, we talk about. Relationship synergy in the program is like, you know, this idea of like two separate people who are optimally coming Together and growing together. And it's this idea of like, you know, we're mutually independent. Like we have this like reciprocal independence where it's like, I want, you're independent, I'm independent. And we're good being independent, but we're even better together. And so you got to give your partner some space to have some independence and then you get your own space to have some independence. And then you have a lot more to share with each other when you are together.

Yeah, he's not your other half. You're a whole already and he's a whole. And then you together are greater than the sum of each part. And that's great. Relationships are great, but you gotta maintain your own thing. And honestly like that. I think this is something that's really important that we talk a lot about for our single clients who are dating is this idea when a guy pulls away rather than chase, actually do the opposite. Allow that tension to exist. Allow. Because that's a very healthy way of dating. Honestly, in relationships that is a relatively similar thing to a degree. Obviously. Like acknowledge it if it gets to a point where it needs to be acknowledged. But like, don't be afraid to just kind of like do your own thing a little bit. Lean into your own hobbies, lean into your own stuff. Like assuming the relationship is solid, everything's going well. Sometimes you just go in ebbs and flows of relationships. Sometimes he just needs a little bit of space. Sometimes he needs to hang out with Bob. I know for a fact sometimes I don't have a friend named Bob, but if I did, like sometimes I need to just hang out with Bob and she definitely needs to go hang out with her friends and that's okay. It's great. By all means. Then when you get back together, it's like you missed each other. You got something to talk about.

Yeah. When I think, you know, we talked earlier about, you know, don't let your anxiety get the best of you. And this is where you can do the opposite, which is like approach this how someone who's really secure, confident themselves would approach it, which is them pulling away, being independent. It's not a concern, it's a positive. Like see the good in it. Because that gives me time to miss my partner and them to miss me. Then when we come together, there's more novelty because we haven't spent every last moment together. Like that creates longing, it creates desire. And like you said it, it's just as important, if not more important in a long term relationship to allow some of that stuff to build up so that you have that to nourish the relationship going forward.

Amen. Amen.

Good.

Cool. Anything else that you want to mention with all this?

No, I, I, I think that's, that's pretty much it in terms of, you know, I, End of the day, make sure. Give yourself the time to really assess the, the situation to see if you're reacting, if it's really nothing. Where is, when is this occurring in the relationship and what might it mean? Because it might mean something very different early in the relationship than at the end of the relationship. And as with all things, like, be intentional, be patient, and be thoughtful.

Amen. Amen. And just never forget that you are the prize. Right. Like, if you have the confidence that, like, if you're single and just starting to casually date a guy or starting to date a guy and he starts to pull away, if you know that you're at the prize and you're an amazing human being, you're not going to chase him because you're like, whatever, he's not stepping into me. I'm going to go elsewhere. And then if you're in a relationship and he starts to pull away and you're the prize, you're just gonna be like, okay, it seems okay. Like, I'll give it a week, see if anything happens. And then, you know, he's still pulling weight. You, you'll have the confidence to just talk to him about it, like, hey, just check in like, I'm getting a weird vibe. Then he says, everything's okay. And again, if you have confidence, you start to realize that you are the prize. You bring a lot to the table. You have a lot of value. You'll take his word for it, right? And saying, okay, you've been busy at work, totally get it. Give them a little bit of space, going out with your friends, and before you know, it blows over in a month. The opposite is low value behaviors. Or when you're insecure. And I get it, I've been there. When you're single and someone's pulling away, doing everything you can to get them back, oh, my God, how do I get his attention? How do I, or in my case, her attention, how do I just bring, like, try and pull that person back? Or if you're in a relationship not believing your partner when they say everything is okay, they know there must be something. You've been just so distant. What's going on here? Insecure behaviors. So just like understanding these behaviors and realizing you are truly the prize. And if he wants to be with you. He's. He's with you. Right? And. And that's just such an important part of all of this, is just realizing how much you really have to offer a relationship. And if you. If you don't fix that core piece of it, you're going to find yourself constantly chasing men in the wrong at the wrong times, in the wrong places.

Yeah, absolutely. You know, you have to only seek out the people that want to be with you, and they should all want to be with you because you're fantastic. If they think they can do better, let them try.

Amen. Good place, then. Thanks, Gary.

Sure thing.

All right, so now you've reached the.

End of the show.

Please make sure you follow and subscribe to the Love Strategies podcast, wherever it is that you're listening, so that you never feel alone again on your journey to love. As always, if you want to unlock all of our love strategies and begin your love life transformation, head over to lovestrategies.com to get started. Stay beautiful and speak to you next week.