How to Stop Being Manipulated By Men

Ladies, if a man is trying to manipulate you, it means he can't possibly love you. Because true love really isn't about control. It's about collaboration. It's about two people being on the same team, partnering together, working towards a common goal. So that begs the question of what is manipulation in relationships? Ultimately, it's about power. It's about the ability to control another person's behavior, what it is that you're doing or your emotions, what it is that you're feeling. And when it's really toxic manipulation. Typically, this control only benefits the manipulator. It only benefits the person who has all the control, rather than benefiting both people. My name's Adam lodolce. I'm an executive love coach and the founder of Love Strategies. And we've worked with tens of thousands of women to get out there and attract long lasting love. And from time to time, when clients are getting out there and meeting new guys, they will come across these types of guys who guilt trip them as much as possible to get what it is that they want. They'll love bomb and just like lay it on so thick, you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world, world, I can't believe how special our connection is, yada, yada, yada. And they'll just want to do anything possible to control the woman throughout the process. And even if you're a very successful woman who's in total control of every area of your life, from health and fitness to your professional success, whatever it is, it can still be easy to fall into this trap of having these guys manipulate you and control you. So I want to create a dedicated video about how to stop letting men manipulate you throughout the dating process. So in order to do that, we got to be able to spot manipulation in real time. The moment it starts happening, you can get a sense, I know what you're doing here, dude. Some real common signs that you're being manipulated is, number one, you constantly feel confused or guilty. Even if you did nothing wrong legitimately, you did nothing wrong in the situation. But you're constantly just feeling so guilty and you're like, I don't get it. I don't know why I feel this way, but he's making me feel incredibly guilty for this weird behavior that he didn't like me doing. Another sign is that the arguments tend to be always one sided. He will be really annoyed with you or frustrated with something that you did. But the moment, the very moment that you want to tell him a little piece of feedback on where it Is that he could improve or behave better. He blows up in your face. This is not a healthy romantic dynamic. It's kind of like you keep feeling like you have to explain yourself over and over and over again, but you just never feel understood, like, he never gets it. I feel like the best way to describe it is you feel like you have this, like, emotional debt. If you've been, like, me, I was once in credit card debt back in my early 20s is, like, 20 years ago. And there was like, this weight of it just carrying around on my shoulders everywhere I went. I was like, I'm in debt. I'm in debt. I need to do something better. I need to improve my situation here. And it just never goes away. And I feel the same thing happens in romantic relationships when you're with a manipulative person. You just feel like you're constantly in debt to the person, and there's nothing you can do to get out of that debt. It's like the interest just keeps growing and growing and growing, and you're just feeling very stuck in your situation. So then the question is, what do we actually do if we find ourselves constantly manipulated by people in romantic relationships? Well, the first and most important lesson of this entire video is this. Men and people can only manipulate you if you allow them to. A woman who doesn't have any boundaries will find herself over and over and over again attracting men who just constantly manipulate them because these women don't have boundaries. The type of men who manipulate women, they are on a constant hunt. They're looking for and searching for women that they can manipulate. They're looking for women who don't have boundaries, who don't push back, who just kind of allow this trap to just encapsulate their lives so that they do everything that this guy says they need to do. And the reality is, we can't control these guys. These guys out there, they exist 100%. They will always exist. By the way, women can manipulate men 100%. These types of people exist out there. So we can't control that. The only thing we can control is you. How it is that you're showing up in your relationships, the boundaries that you're setting, and the type of people we allow into our lives. Once you take total ownership of the situation, then suddenly you're in control of the situation. If you play the victim mindset, which says, all men out there are just manipulating me. I keep just attracting these narcissistic people, and there's nothing I can do about it. Guess what? There's nothing you can do about it. And look, manipulation exists everywhere in the human experience. Like, sales is manipulation. Let's say that I went to a used car lot because I want to buy a new car, and I ended up paying $10,000 more for a car that was a total piece of crap. If I came home to my wife and I was like, hey, this guy totally manipulated me into buying this car that was way overpriced, she'd be like, you're the idiot, dude. You paid the extra money. And by the way, she'd be kind of right. Not that she'd call me an idiot, but she would be like, really, Adam, Come on. This is on you, dude. And I would have to take ownership in that situation. Be like, okay, I've learned from that moment that if I go to a used car lot and I buy a car, I need to be hyper aware of setting boundaries. I about what it is that I'm willing to spend and on what type of car based on the value of the car. Ownership is your superpower throughout the dating process. Don't forget it. So now let me jump into a few other ways that you can avoid being manipulated by these guys. The first one is to stop being so easily impressed by superficial qualities. And by the way, all of us get impressed by superficial qualities. It's just part of being human once again. But it is so easy to get manipulated. If we become enamored by a person based on their success, how they look, their height, their charm, it is incredibly easy for them to suddenly control us if we're very easily drawn in by those things. Because the moment that you're impressed by those types of things, the person who's going to try and manipulate you can smell it on you that you're impressed by those superficial qualities. They know that they have power over you. They can smell it on you. They know that they can kind of get away with so many things because once again, you're so impressed by them. Now, the opposite approach to doing this is, of course not being impressed by any of these superficial qualities and only being impressed by one thing, and that is a man's character. If you're impressed by a man who's really respectful and kind towards you, guess what? If a guy comes into your life and he's not kind, he's not respectful, and he's only handsome and charming, you're going to be like, no, that person's not right for me. Next, let's move on to the next. But seriously, if a man knows that you're going to stay with him no matter what, just due to his looks or his success or his charm or his charisma, he's never going to step up for you. Which leads me to the next point, which is all about maintaining what I call your walking power. The ultimate power that you always have in any relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic, is the power to walk away. If you're the type of person who always stay in the relationship no matter what, because this man, he's the one for you. He's your soulmate. Oh, my God, I just need to keep working at it. If you're the type person who will always stay in that relationship, guess what? You're very easy to manipulate. Alternatively, if you're the type of woman who's got a set of standards on how people treat you, and that person isn't meeting your standards, and that guy knows that if he's not meeting your standards, you're going to walk away. He's either going to step up or step out. Romantic relationships always have a condition. I don't believe in unconditional love. There's always a condition, and the condition is how they treat you and how it is that you're treating them. If that condition isn't met. You always have walking power. And the final tool in your toolkit to stop people from manipulating you is to use your words. Speak up, hold your boundaries. Let me tell you ladies something. A manipulator knows for a fact that he's got you once. He can do things that are disrespectful towards you, and you won't speak up about it. He's worn you down so much. He's exhausted you so much that you're like, it's not even worth it anymore. I'm just gonna let it go. And I totally get it. There's a certain point in relationship if you're with the toxic person, a narcissistic person, when it's all about them, there's a certain point where you just want to keep the peace. You just want to go back to your life and just hope that things get better. But you gotta fight the urge. You have to let it be known if he disrespects you, because if you don't let him know that he's being disrespectful towards you, you're actually rewarding the bad behavior. Let's say, for example, you catch your guy texting other women. And he's not just texting a friend, he's texting them Very inappropriately. Let's say that happens and you come to him and you're like, hey, you know, I really want to fix this. I want to work on a relationship. Guess what's happening. You're not only allowing that behavior to exist, but you're the one now trying to fix the problem. You're the one making the investment to improve things. Now it's all on you to make the changes, not him. Instead, if that happens, that's when you draw the line. You let him know that in a healthy relationship, we don't text other people that way. And in fact, 99% of the situations you should be walking or running toward the hills and moving on using that walking power. He needs to know at his core that if he messes up, then you, my beautiful lady, are gone. Don't ever forget this. You have total control in your relationships if you allow yourself to step up and speak your truth. I promise you, healthy relationships do exist out there if you just set the standard for how it is that you're willing to be treated. So I challenge all you ladies out there. You can do this. Set boundaries in your relationships. Don't let these men walk all over you. And as your declaration to not allowing men to manipulate you any further, go ahead and comment right there below boundaries. This is your way of declaring to the universe that. That you are ready to say next to these types of guys and open your heart to the right men. Leave that comment right there below and I'll speak to you beautiful ladies next week. Bye, bye.