If You Invest in Relationships Too Quickly, Here’s 5 Ways to STOP

Have you ever gone on a first date and just instantly clicked with a man and decided right then and there that he is Mr. Right for you? And then you literally married him on a beach in the Bahamas in your head before he'd even finished dessert? Look, it's really easy to stay calm and cool and collected on a date when you're just not that into a guy. But when your dream man appears, all of this just seems to vanish. You just lose your girl game and you turn to mush. And then before you know it, you've leaned in way too much. And then he starts to pull away and you're wondering what the heck happened? Was it my breath? Nope. Was it my outfit? Nope. Was it because I told him I eat canned tuna for breakfast? Possibly. Was it because I'm so awesome that I intimidated him? Definitely not. The problem is that you just gave too much too soon. You over invested in him before he started investing in you. You literally closed the doors to all the other potential guys before you even really knew who this guy was. So repeat after me in the comments below. Never give a man unearned affection. Don't put him on the pedestal. And if this is a dating pattern that you continue to repeat, here are five tips to break that cycle of over investing in one Gu Number one. Have such a busy social life that it's impossible for you to over invest. Look, women who have lots of passions, hobbies, interests and friends very rarely over invest in a guy because honestly, they just don't have time for it. Whereas women who literally live on their phone and sit at home every single Friday and Saturday night hoping that he will call or text you. Those tend to be the needy Nancy's of the world. By the way, sorry if your name is Nancy, it just works. So don't forget this core principle that we teach at Love Strateg. No man will want a life with you unless you have an amazing life without him. Oh, and by the way, vice versa. We also want him to have an amazing life without you. I mean, when you have an exciting and thrilling life, I mean, you're just too busy to get hung up on one guy waiting for him to just text you back. My name is Adam Littlech. I'm the founder of this company called lovestrategies.com where we do help successful single women get out there attract long lasting love. But let me tell you, 20 years ago, before I was a dating coach, before I helped all of you women attract love, I. I used to be a chronic over investor. I mean I would wear my heart on my sleeve, and when I really liked a girl, it was just all over. That was it. She's all I could think of. And it wasn't until I made this shift where things start to really change. Once I started feeling all of that emotional energy kind of flare up and just focus on one woman, get that oneitis. Instead of putting it into that woman, I actually put it into meeting other women or other people and focusing on my social life. And. And in fact, that, like, kind of emotional energy, that oneitis that I would get, that excitement, it would actually catapult me when I would go out and meet other people. And it made me even more effective. And by the way, by doing that and shifting my emotional energy, guess what? This woman would actually notice that and then come back to me. And by the way, our clients don't do this to play weird mind games or anything like that. In fact, they do this to date authentically, because we want to be authentic when we're getting out and meeting people. And by giving too much of our energy too quickly, that's actually putting a guy on a pedestal. No more doing that. Number two is dating with an abundance mindset. I had a client the other day we're talking to in one of my masterminds, and she says, adam, I've met this guy. He is absolutely perfect. He's everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever dreamt of since I was a little girl. And now I can actually feel him starting to pull away. What do I do? So I told her openly, honestly, and that's kind of our style here. Love strategies. The reason why this dude is pulling away is because you believe that he's perfect and you don't even know him yet. By the way, she'd only gone on two dates with this guy. Okay, Perfect. For all we know, this guy's dating 12 other women in town, and he's really into hooking up in, like, furry costumes. By the way, if you don't know what I mean about hooking up in furry costumes, whatever you do, don't Google it, all right? She gets really weird. All you got to know is it's not something you're probably into. So I simply just reminded her that he is still a stranger. There are plenty of amazing single men out there, and you've got lots of options. We found this guy. There's other guys out there, and she was dating with a scarcity mindset, which is like, there's only one guy, and this man is going to Fulfill all my dreams. And once we fall into that trap. Now, obviously once you're married to someone, yes, we can start thinking more like that, but not after two dates. And she had a very scarcity mindset. And when we try to hold on too much to that one person, try to control everything, that's the moment that they start to pull away because they sense that you're over investing, they sense that you're giving them too much. And so what we need to do is once again remind ourselves, he's still a stranger, there are other men out there, and oh, by the way, go start talking to other guys out there so you can really internalize this idea that, yeah, other guys exist. So if you're ready to find love with an abundance mindset, comment below. Abundance. Next, I want you to move slower than even he wants to move. Now, when we help our clients go from feeling single, alone, and frustrated in their love life to finally attracting that long lasting relationship with the man that they deeply desire, we walk them through this process that we call the seven little love steps. And there's one little love step that really trips a lot of women up. It's called little love step number five, where we pace the progression of your connections. Essentially what this means is that we intentionally move slower than the guy even wants to move. Maybe the story sounds familiar. Let's say a guy really likes a woman and, and the woman's still not sure if he's right for her. And then finally he tries so hard and so hard to see her, and so he kind of wins her over. And then finally she's like, you know what, I'm going to give in. I like this guy. And then they start to see each other all of the time. She kind of goes with the flow and she starts to really like him, maybe fall in love with him. And then anywhere from three weeks to three months, he kind of pumps the brakes and he says, whoa, whoa, whoa, we need to slow things down here a little bit. And she's like, wait, what? Sometimes guys will move really fast. And then when a woman goes along with that pace, they actually start pumping the brakes. We don't want that crash and burn. Whereas when we follow our pacing strategy, this is where we intentionally move slower than the guy and we are in the driver's seat. When you pace, you are in the driver's seat. Pace the progression and you pace the direction of the relationship. Alternatively, if you move way too fast and go with his pace, you're going to lose in the end. So if you do find yourself just moving too fast. Be sure to pause, take a breath, and like kind of just slow things down even more. This in turn actually makes men pursue you even harder. And this isn't about playing games. You don't need to play hard to get. You actually are hard to get because now you have options. That's the power of a little love steps. And when you do this correctly, this actually gives you enough time to decide whether or not a man is worth exclusivity. You gotta recognize that your feminine power throughout the dating process, that exists when space exists. Allow that space to exist. And if he's not filling that gap, then you say that magical four letter word which is next and you move on to the next. And if you want to learn all the seven little love steps, I recommend going to lovestrategies.com we have a free interactive coaching session that you can check out. Gonna show you everything you need to know from feeling frustrated with your love life to attracting that man, that relationship you deeply deserve. Check it out. Love strategies.com number four. Don't allow yourself to start liking a guy just because he doesn't like you. I mean, have you ever noticed this weird psychological effect, which is the more that a guy actually starts to pull away, the more you start to feel attraction for him. It's kind of up if you think about it. And the more hot and cold he is, the more you actually want to chase. Here's the sad reality. Our primal brain naturally raises a person's value when they start to show less interest in us. I mean, subconsciously it kind of makes sense. We're thinking, I mean, if he's not into me, then he must be a super high value guy. So the big shift that we make with our clients when we work with them is if a guy is not a heck yes, he's not all in with you, then it is a no. And when you really level up through this process, it actually becomes unattractive when a guy doesn't show up in his fullest energy for you, you are the prize. Don't forget it. And if he's not pursuing you, he doesn't deserve you. And finally, until you have that DTR conversation, which is define the relationship conversation with a guy and keep dating multiple guys. This is something I find myself repeating pretty much on a daily basis with our clients. And that is that until you are explicitly exclusive with one another, you need to realize that you are still single until you've had the talk. Then you have to assume he is still talking. To other women. I don't care if he tells you how much he likes you, that he wants to spend all his time with you. I don't care if he tells you that he loves you until you have explicitly had a conversation that you're not dating or talking to other people, then you, my beautiful lady, are still single and are free and encouraged to continue meeting other guys. So remember, when you date with this strategy, you are in the power seat of your love life.