Is Wanting a Boyfriend Now "Embarrassing"?

Is having a boyfriend embarrassing Now? I'm starting to think some people are just trolling me out there because someone just sent me this article that was written in Vogue magazine all about this idea of how it's just a little bit embarrassing to have a boyfriend. And it kind of got me going. And I thought I'd create a video about it because I know for a fact the writer of this article absolutely wanted to hear from a man's point of view what it should be like for women dating. Now I'm saying that playfully, but in all seriousness, I'm going to speak on behalf of all men here and plead you to not listen to this advice and what is written in this article. So let me read you a few passages. I'm going to give you my thoughts on it for what it's worth. In this article she says, so what gives? Are people embarrassed by their boyfriends now or something more complicated going on? To me, it feels like the result of women wanting to straddle two worlds. One where they can receive the social benefits of having a partner, but also not appear so boyfriend obsessed that they come across as quite culturally loserish. What are talking about here, people? This whole article in some ways is based on social media and posting about your relationships and whether it's cool or not or is it better to be single or should you talk about your relationship? And I kind of agree on that side of things. Posting about your relationship constantly, I think does show signs of a relationship that's probably not really working and they're trying to kind of fake it out there and show how great we all are. I get it, that's a little bit annoying. But at the end of the day, if any type of social benefits or social media comes into your decision making about whether or not to commit to a person, not just having a boyfriend, but commit your heart to a person, want to spend the rest of your life with them, then you got to take a hard look in the mirror and we have to recognize that there is nothing wrong with being focused on relationships and love and wanting to learn about love and learn about having healthy relationships. Now in this article they talk about being boyfriend obsessed and I know what they're trying to do with their words. It's all about semantics here. Instead of calling it relationship focused, they're saying boyfriend obsessed. And yeah, sure, can some people take it too far? Absolutely. But generally speaking, both men and women would thrive in healthy relationships if all of us just got a little bit more relationship focused. All right, let's move on. To the next part of this because I'm getting a little fired up here. But there was an overwhelming sense, the author writes from single and partnered women alike, that regardless of the relationship, being with a man was an almost guilty thing to do. On the Delusional Diaries podcast, fronted by two New York based influencers, Hayley in Jazz, they discuss whether having a boyfriend is lame. Now why does having a boyfriend feel Republican? Read a top comment. Another comment said, boyfriends are out of style. They won't come back until they start acting right. This was another comment with thousands of likes. Ladies, please. Here's the reality about this mindset. The only people that this mindset will serve are a small percentage of men who want to sleep around on the dating apps and looking for women who are easy to sleep with. This isn't all men out there. There's only a very small fraction of men, let's just call it 10% of guys who get all of the attention online dating, by the way, who are going to just be able to sleep with literally a different woman every single day. Because according to this mindset, we're not going to commit to boyfriends until men start acting right. What men are we talking about? You're talking about the certain percentage of men that you're going after who aren't acting right. Let's not forget about the other huge portion of men who are commitment focused, who want a relationship. And yes, they exist. And in fact, many recent studies show that men want commitment more than women do nowadays. Do not serve these guys out there who are going to see this kind of new modern feminism as an opportunity to be able to just honestly have their pick of women anywhere they go, whenever they're on the apps, and literally at the drop of a dime, be able to call one of these women and be able to sleep with them. Because the reality is, even if you say I don't want a boyfriend because of all this nonsense, you're still going to have a sexual drive. You're still going to sleep with guys. And guess who again, you're going to probably sleep with the types of guys who aren't acting right. Don't do it. All right, now I'm really fired up. Let's get to the final part of this, which is from my conversations. One thing is certain. The author writes the script is shifting. Being partnered doesn't affirm your womanhood anymore. It is no longer considered an achievement and if anything, it's become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single. And she finishes, obviously there's no shame in falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying and failing to find it. I agree, but she also writes or there's no shame in not trying at all. I totally agree. There's absolutely no shame in trying and failing. In fact, that is the way that we find love. But we got to actually want to have a boyfriend, or I prefer to use the term a committed, healthy relationship in order to find it. And I agree as well. There's no shame in not trying if you're in a certain phase in life where you're just not really ready to find love. I can support that. But there is a loss to yourself and to humanity if you give up altogether. I feel like this article and thousands of articles that are very similar that are going out to women all around the world, it feels empowering because I get it. You're like, screw men. Screw these guys who are just, like, taking advantage of us, who don't want commitment. And then it puts what feels like the power into the women's hands. But it's a trap. This isn't feminism. I mean, I'm raised by a 1960s feminist. I'm all for. I run a female empowerment company, and I know you might laugh at that because I'm a guy. But we employ literally dozens of women. We coach women for a living on how to find love. This is literally what we do around here. But this type of mindset is not empowering. Instead of modern feminism, I honestly think this should be called, like, modern masculinism for women. Don't try and be like the guys that you hate in order to get power over. Like, if this article was written for men. Like, if you just switched out the wording on this article and it was written by a man to a bunch of men talking about how having a girlfriend is lame now, you all would be up in arms, rightfully so. I would, too. Because at the end of the day, this is divisive. This is garbage. Because the most important decision you'll ever make in your entire life is deciding who it is you're going to spend the rest of your life with. In order to make that decision correctly, we need to be focused. We need to be relationship. I don't want to use the word obsessed, but extremely, extremely focused on on that goal. So, ladies, please don't turn into the Playboys out there. Don't do it. It's a trap. And I would say the same thing to men, because commitment can be one of the most wonderful things that you ever experience in your life. And ladies, I'm going to say something that might kind of annoy some of you out there, but I'm going to say it anyways. It's okay to say you need a man. It's okay to say you need a relationship. Doesn't mean you can't be happy without it. But it's okay to say that it is a human biological need to be in a healthy relationship with another person. Again, this is assuming you're a heterosexual female. Now, on the same token, I would say it to men who are heterosexual as well, or anyone of any sexual preference. But since I'm just talking about men and women here, that makes sense. If a man said he needs a woman in his life to feel fulfilled, I would 100% agree with him. And I think that that's the healthiest mindset to bring to your dating life, because the only alternative is sitting at home in your apartment. I have a feeling that this writer, like, lives in an apartment in New York City. I just have a feeling that's her life. And she like, writes these articles and just watches Netflix all night, drinking wine and just thinking about how it's so great being single and being all alone. Anyways, sidetrack. If we all have this mindset that's going to be all of our lives alone, feeling lost, wondering why it is that we feel so unfulfilled. Don't fall for the trap. It's okay to be focused on relationships.