Struggling to Get Dates? Use These 3 Simple Strategies

All right, today's podcast, we're going to be talking to those of you out there who are struggling to get dates and get dates with high quality guys, because I got two guys for you that I think can help you. Gary, we've been doing this for a while. I'm counting myself as one of those two guys because this is all we do is work with our clients to get out there, attract the right types of guys, and get great dates. So, Gary, this could be a fun one. It's going to be a good one, dude. Welcome to the Love Strategies podcast, where we help successful women attract high value men, date with a strategy and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

Yeah, I feel like that makes me the other guy.

You are the other guy. Yes.

I was gonna say there better not be another guy.

So I'm not cheating on you, although I'm just struggling to get dates with other guys. So you're what's left over.

Well, I'm here to help you then, Adam. I'm here to help, which I think is interesting. What I love about this topic is every week, hundreds of people, women, contact us to help them solve this problem. Because they're single, they want to date. They're out there looking. They want to find the person that's the one for them. And many of them are kind of bouncing back after a breakup. They're struggling with a divorce. Some are widowed. And for many of our clients, some have been trying to get results for weeks, and some, in some cases, months. And they're frustrated, right? And it's, I want a date. I can't get dates. I'm not attracting men. Like, what's going on? And so what I like about this, like, here's the starting point. That's true and super helpful. And really what we're talking about today is dating seems like this magical, mythical thing, but it's not. It's a skill. And like any other skill, it's something that can be taught, and it's something that can be learned and improved, but that's easier said than done. But like any skill, things become easier when you have expertise. And people by your side to help you along the way. And so we've helped thousands of women along this same path and solve this same problem. And today, for podcast listeners, it's your turn. We're going to. We're going to help you solve this same issue.

Definitely. It's the biggest unlock I think we have with clients. Like, if they've previously to working with us, they just have always struggled in this area. They start working with us within a month. There's nothing better. For me personally, Gary, I don't know if this is just my ego talking, but when a client says that I am now getting more attention from men, better dates than I've ever gotten in my life, and that's just like, yes, it's exactly what we've been talking about. Because that then builds momentum unto itself. It's like, once you start getting to that point, you're going to feel more confident when you're dating. And then because you are radiating this confidence, you're going to get even more dates and then be able to say no to the wrong guys and lean into the right guys. So there's something to this whole momentum thing that is incredibly important. So this is going to be a great one.

Yeah. And, like, you know what I find with clients is the people we work with have two main issues. One is they get dates. It's easy to get dates, but they're just usually not with the right guy. Like, they're picking the wrong guys, and they can't keep the right guys past two or three dates. And I think a lot of our previous podcasts, I know we've addressed that issue a lot. And so today we're really focusing on the other. And I think a much bigger problem, which is people struggle to just find guys. They'll say, there aren't any guys. Where I live, there's no guys that match what I'm looking for. I, you know, I want to go out. I just don't have the chance to go out. And, like, how frustrating is it for you as a listener or someone who wants to go out? Like, you're ready to go, like you want to meet some guys, like you want to do the thing. And like, Adam says to our clients all the time, get your beautiful butt off the couch and go meet some guys. And like, for some of our clients, like, I want to. I just, I don't. And they just don't know where to start. And it's because there's a little bit of fear and there's a whole lot of feeling like I just don't know how to do that and what to do. And so that's entirely what we do in our regular jobs. I guess we say that, right? It's like, you know, outside of the podcast is helping women, you know, with that expertise and support along the way to make sure they know how to. How to do this.

Gary, you got everything right in that exception. I would never talk about a woman's butt. I say get your beautiful behind.

Oh, that's true.

Of the couch and go meet some guys. All right, Gary.

I Noted, noted.

I don't talk about women's butts in that way. No, I'm just playing with. But it's true, like, a lot of this is just making that happen and look like this is what we want to do today is give you some of those basics so you can get off the couch and go meet those great guys. Because we've literally done this thousands of times over the past decade. I mean, myself, like, over the past 15 years, this was my core competency, is motivating people to go make it happen and do it in the right way. So let's jump into the first one, Gary, which is just for starters, knowing you have to know where the guys even are. You know, I know we all like to think that there's this mystical place in Narnia where, like, all these perfect guys are there. The chiseled jaw, 6 foot 4. It's full of single men who all want you. But, you know, unfortunately, that may not necessarily exist. Right, Gary?

Yeah, I mean, it's. I always say, you know, not the Narnia. I'm not sure where Narnia is. But I always say, you know, you can't go out to the man field and just harvest these. There's. This field doesn't exist like you want to. That's what. That would make it so much easier if clients would say, hey, this is where I live. Tell me exactly where the guys are. Where are they hiding? We can send them that one place and go.

Right.

Just not. If it was that easy, we wouldn't have a business. Right? Like, and that's. That's essentially the whole idea is like, you know, we're here to help you with strategies. And so what I say to clients is, this place does exist. And it's this literally in the same exact place for every single client, every single woman we've helped along the way. All the guys really are in the exact same place. And that place is outside of your current comfort zone. Whatever it is you're doing right now. If what you were doing worked, it would have worked by now. And so we need to shake up what you're doing. And so the relationship you want is on the other side of what scares you. You know who said that? Me. Me a second ago. Quote. Right. And so, like, the thing that you want, the. The guy that you're looking for, you, he's literally on the other side of doing something that currently is a little bit uncomfortable. And so how do you make the uncomfortable more comfortable? You learn some things, you work on some skills, you practice, you gain confidence, and you make it happen. And that's literally what we do every day.

Yeah. Break your routines constantly. When you're single. When you're single, it is the best time to explore and try new things. Because when you're married and you're kind of in it and you're starting to settle down and you're kind of just building a life with another person, there's just not as much inherent novelty as you can create when you're single. Now, most people, when they're single, kind of live a very settled down, structured life. And they do the same things. They go to the same coffee shops, they go to the same events, they go to the same bars every weekend. But to your point, the best way to actually get out there and start attracting different types of guys is to completely switch that up. So if every weekend you go to a single one place to grab a drink after work and you go with a girlfriend, well, this is a perfect opportunity to look on Yelp, Take a look at all of the best restaurants in town and the best cocktail bars that have a three or four dollar sign, by the way. Go to somewhere nice and go somewhere even if it's completely outside of your comfort zone. Is there a class or an adult education course that you can take that's going on and it's once a week that might involve you, like, doing some type of improv comedy or learning public speaking. Guess what? That's going to be way outside of your comfort zone, but it's going to open you up to a whole new swath of people. Is there a networking event that might be happening and you're like, networking events? Like, what are you talking about? We work from home on zoom in our underwear, Right? Well, guess what?

Speak for yourself. Speak for yourself.

Literally, that's me right now.

So it.

All that matters is from this way.

Up, Belly button up. That's it.

Belly button up, baby. But again, that's where, like so many people in their love Life. They want that one place that's really, really easy to go. And it's going to suddenly open them up to all of these men that they've been looking for. And the reality is, if you can understand that that doesn't exist, then suddenly it sets you free in many ways. Because if you can accept that this might be challenging for you to go to some of these new places and explore new things, go to that singles event that you would never have considered before, because it's like, oh, singles event? Are you kidding me? Then suddenly you're not looking for the easy way out. You're almost accepting that this will be hard and that's okay. And then suddenly you can start doing it. It's. It's very similar to people who will sell you, like, oh, lose 10 pounds with a very simple diet by eating everything you already eat, right? Those don't exist. It really does. You can't eat pizza and lose weight, I'm sorry to tell you. So if you buy into that, it's not going to work. Instead, buy into the fact you need to eat kale, you need to eat all the right foods. You might need to lower a little bit of calories. It might be more challenging, but it'll actually work. I don't know if that analogy stands in this case, but I think it's just one of those things that really, really sets you free. Realizing it's going to be challenging, it's going to be outside of your comfort zone, but once you start doing it, you build momentum, and it will become fun. It'll become fun.

I think this might be a bold statement. So maybe we leave this in. Maybe we cut it out. But I think one of the biggest things that holds people back in life and in love is is this feeling of entitlement to things in life being easy. Right? It's like, I deserve this to be easy. This should be easier than it is. Why isn't this easy? And if you believe those things, you're always going to be miserable because nothing worth doing is actually easy. And actually, it's the things that you have done in your life that are difficult, that you've navigated your way through, that are always the most valuable. And so much to your point, expecting dating and finding men or partners to be easy, that's betraying you, that's making something that's already a little bit more challenging impossible. Because you're expecting it to be easy. And it's not, you know, it's not easy. You know what it is, though? It's worthwhile. And there's a big, big difference. And so some of these things we're talking about are super easy. Easy in the sense that, you know, just break your routine. Like, I'm a very routine person. I've been married. Like, I have the same thing I do every day except for on Tuesdays when we record podcasts. I have to go to the gym at a different time.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

And it's like I have to go first thing in the morning. And you know what? Completely different set of people. It's like, it's the same place, but it's like a whole new world of people. And it's a difference of two, two and a half hours, I think in my normal routine. So it's really this kind of stuff. I will give you insider tip for finding men Our clients all swear by Sunday night, 6pm 7pm that's the man market. That's when the men are at the market Sunday night. I don't know if this holds for everywhere, but this is, this is like one of those things. Like our client, we have this like community and like the clients, they hang out, they talk to each other, they, they hang out outside like they do. And they all say, like they tell each other. It's like this whispered thing like supermarket, 6pm to 7pm Sunday night. That's when the men are there.

Yeah, but don't tell Sally because she lives in the same city as me.

Okay.

This is my hidden secret in my city.

So, you know, this all comes down to something that we say to clients a lot, which is diversify your dating portfolio. Whatever it is you're doing, you have to do multiple different things. All the guys aren't in the same place at the same time. Different guys are on different apps. Some guys are on the app, some guys refuse to be on the app. So if you're completely anti app, that's going to limit you. Much like if you're just only looking on the apps, that's going to limit you too. And so you just have to have variety. So little action step.

Are you ready to dive deep into the male mind and understand why it is we do what we actually do? Well, if so, I have a free training that's going to really help you understand men do get out there and attract a high value guy that meets your needs. If you're ready for that, head on over to the lovesteps.com we have a virtual training there. It's going to walk you through this exact process that's worked for over 10,000 women worldwide. Again, head on over to TheLovesSteps.com and yeah, check it out. We'll get back to the podcast now. Can I just add on to one? I think your bold statement is fantastic. We're definitely not cutting that and I want to add to it. Here's what I would add is because it is hard, if you're willing to do it, then it sets you apart. It's good that it's hard. If it were easy, then everyone would be doing it and it would be really competitive. So, like, we'll talk a lot about that in business, like with Love Strategies. And some of the things we're doing are very, very hard right now. And we're integrating a lot of really amazing things. We're actually going to be releasing a brand new platform and it's really hard what we're doing. And I love it because it's our unique advantage with the type of work we do. And that's why, you know, we've grown to be number one, which I love that in this space. And I'm not saying it's a brag. I'm saying that because it's a mental model to use when things are hard. That is a good thing. Right. It means that no one else is willing to do it. And if you, you are, then you will be extremely, extremely successful. So it's just something that I've been personally leaning into a lot over the past probably five years because I always used to look for the very easy thing to do. Like, oh, say this one thing and get a girl's number. Okay? Like, come on. If that really existed, everyone would do it instead. The advice that I would always resonate with is like, make yourself the best possible human being and you will attract the best possible partner. That's hard to do and there's a lot that goes into that. But if you actually do it, guess what? There's no competition up there. So just want to add that I love it.

Yeah, be the right person to find the right person 100%. And so, you know, just a little, little plug for a little bit of action. Starting literally tomorrow, do one thing different. One thing in your routine, one thing in your life. Do something you haven't been doing. Starting tomorrow, do that one thing and what you're going to realize is this is an unlock. This starts you down a path. And then the next day you do is something else different and you just keep it's contagious. Novelty is fun. It's just doing Something a little. I have more energy. I was just complaining kind of pseudo. It sounded maybe like complaining about having to work out at a different time. I have more. Like, I did something different today. Like, it's. It's amazing.

It's amazing. Well, let's segue into our next one, and I'm gonna do a face for those who are watching on YouTube. And, Gary, I think this will really segues into this next one, which is, what do you think? What do you think of my rbf?

It's. It's. Yeah, it's. It's good. You're maybe too good.

Yeah. Yeah. So why don't you tell everyone what we're doing and what we're talking about?

So the second simple solution is asking yourself authentically, are you actually easy to approach? Because a lot of what we just talked about was putting yourself in different situations. New places, new routines, all that good stuff. You can't just go to those places and sit back and wait for the magic to happen. You have to facilitate a little bit. And this is not anything big, but it's. Sometimes you're just not as approachable as you think you are. And so here are four things you can do. These start simple, and I'm gonna say, these are super simple. So I'm just gonna throw it out there. There's literally no excuse not to do any of these things. So if you're about to say, I can't, you absolutely can, and you will. Like, you can do these things. And so, you know, what Adam was kind of showing is, like, this face. What a lot of people have, particularly when they're out, is just kind of a. Without even knowing it, a do not talk to me face. Like, it's not. You don't look friendly and all that stuff. So it's like, what you want to make sure you're going out into the world with is a what I'm calling a resting kind face. Bright, open eyes, smiling, not serious, and focused. Not like you're thinking about something really hard. It's the face you make when you see your best friend. It's that, like, aww. Or if you see a I. It's like, I always think when I see. When I see a puppy or one of our clients the other night on a Mastermind had her golden English retriever puppy on. I was like, huh? And I just think, like, that's the face. Like that. It's like. Like, you just look so happy and enthusiastic, and like, you want people to. Who are you going to go talk to? You're not going to go talk to the guy who's like frowny and like looks grumbly in the corner. Like, no one's talking to that guy.

Right.

So same, same principle.

I love that, I love that. And I will tell you, having coached men on how to get out there and confidently approach women, I'm telling you, when a man walks into a room, he scans the room looking for the woman who is least likely to reject him. Horrifically, he is scanning because I don't care what you look like, you know, beautiful, you know, size, shape, whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters, honestly, when a guy's going out, is, is she approachable? Can I start a conversation with her and know without any hesitation that she is going to come be very friendly and talk to me? Like that is the key. Men just don't approach women with the rbf, which I mentioned earlier, which is the resting bitch face. I'm not going to say the word but. And I don't love that term, I call like arresting bad face, but the face where it's just like, don't talk to me, I'm not interested. And by the way, sometimes you might be out and you don't want people to talk to you, fine. You know, if you're out with friends and you're like, I'm having a serious conversation with my girlfriend, that's cool, do your thing. But if you are out trying to meet men, do the. Do exactly what Gary was talking about. And I'm telling you, men will look at you and be like, oh, she's at least not going to reject me. Horrifically, Let me go up and talk to her.

Right?

That's it.

Yeah. And I would say, you know, the RBF face, I always thought the B stood for back off because it's basically like a face that basically is like, back off. Like, I don't want anybody around me. Like, keep my personal space. So you don't want to have a resting back off face. You want to have a resting, kind face. So the second thing you want to do is just create this pattern where you're always following these things. Say hello, make eye contact and then have a follow up comment question. And it's something about what's in your immediate personal space or environment. Right. Hello, eye contact. And then you're at the supermarket and you're in the produce section. Say something about produce or, you know, how do you pick them? Whatever it is, but just something in your immediate personal. Isn't it a nice day today? The weather is always good too. But just like have that makes it clear that you're willing to talk to somebody. And again, to Adam's point, you're not seeming like you're going to reject a guy if he wants to talk to you. It makes you seem friendly and like the number one word here, approachable. Number three. Here we got Adam can show this. He's super. He's like the king of this. But it's smocking, so it's smiling while talking.

Do you know where I can find the cherries? Gary? Where are the bananas? In the produce section. That's all you need, just a window of opportunity. You do it. Smile while talking. That's it. I mean, it can be a pretty matter of factual conversation or a question you ask someone just by initiating that conversation with a smile. Smile while talking and eye contact. That's it. That's it. Like when I was coaching men, it was more advanced and it did require a little bit more to drive a conversation forward. With women, I think a unique opportunity is if a woman is friendly and starting conversation in this way, their options open up exponentially. I mean, Gary, we've seen it with our clients. When we have events here in Boston, many of our clients will fly out. We'll sometimes go out together, and they'll talk to a bunch of different guys, and you'll see these guys faces light up. Because this has never happened before where women are this friendly and open to them. And guess what? The magic happens. That's it.

It makes a huge difference, right? And so we said there's four things you can do, really? If you do those first three, resting, kind face, the hello, eye contact, follow up, and smoking. That unlocks 90% of it. Then the last one is one you already know, which is flirting. Right? We've had lots of other podcasts about flirting, so we're not going to dive too deep into this, but it's just make it a little bit obvious. Break the touch barrier. Touch him on the arm. You touch a guy. Guys don't get touched by women. That's an immediate, clear signal. Like, oh, there's something a little bit more here. Women all the time are kind, they're nice. That doesn't send the clear signal that you might think it does. And so the action step with this one is to be easier to approach. Just be a little bit more bold. Right? We talk, you've heard us talk before about having a big welcome mat. Because really, what you want is clarity. You want it to be clear to these guys that you are interested in having a conversation and getting to know them better. Now, not every guy's going to be equally interested. Cool. That's fine. We don't want to waste our times with the guys who are not interested or available or whatever. That's totally fine. But we do want to make sure we're not missing the opportunities with the guys who are interested, who just are a little bit unsure because they're waiting for a clearer signal. Like, let's give him the clarity he's looking for.

Amen. And I think that is what very much so sets us apart from pretty much every other love coaching company out there. We are like, have a big welcome mat. And people will be like, well, I already have a big welcome mat. Make, make it even bigger. Go big. Like, I'm telling you, put yourself out there in ways that you haven't experienced before and you will have many, many more options. Will there be some guys you're not interested in? Yeah, of course. Well, once you start talking to them, you're not interested in them. Next. Moving on, are there going to be some guys you are interested in and you flirted with them a lot when you first met them. Great. Move forward. It doesn't mean that we're going to sleep with them on the first date or the second date. Be easy to approach, hard to attain. Have a huge welcome mat, Talk to everyone, light up a room. Who cares? Talk to as many people as you can while maintaining your safety. Doing in public places, of course. And then once you create some interest, then let him drive things forward. It's like it's just giving him that window of opportunity to then climb through the window and then take it from there. That analogy doesn't really, really work. But you get what I'm saying. Really, really push it hard on that front. I'm telling you, you're gonna have to undo a lot of the social programming you've gotten from a little girl where we're told, like, always play hard to get, don't make it easy for guys, yada, yada, yada. And that advice isn't nuanced enough. Like, our advice is very much so be very easy to approach, just hard to attain romantically.

Yeah. And I think, you know, the hard to get stuff is without going on a tangent, it's you. You don't want to play hard to get with the guys that are interested in you.

Right.

You want to make it clear you're hard to get for every other guy in the world, but not for him. Like, you're Uniquely, it's easy for him to pull this off, but this isn't something most guys can do. Like, that's the nuance with that piece. And so, you know, struggling to get dates. Here's the last simple solution that we have, which is, number three, breaking your own dating algorithm. And so, you know, everyone knows that dating apps have algorithms that they're using to suggest possible partners. And, you know, no one knows what those are because the apps don't share their secret sauce. But here's the thing is, you are actually out there operating with your own algorithm, and maybe you realize what that is and maybe you don't, right? And so you have an algorithm in the sense that you have certain qualities that you think are important. You have certain qualities that you prioritize. There are certain things you like, you dislike. You have assumptions about certain qualities in men, you. You have certain expectations, et cetera. In other words, you have a type. And so what we encourage our clients to do, and this is really important, is don't date your type. And so you might be familiar with this idea. Google has it. It's called, like, 20% time, which essentially, like, you get 20% of your time to just kind of do whatever you want, right? You kind of. You do your job 80%. You kind of follow along with what's typical 80% of the time. But there's a percentage of time where you do something different. And what I suggest to clients all the time is do the exact same thing with dating. And so what that means is one out of every five people you interact with needs to be completely, intentionally against type. Do something different.

I think it's so important because we all have this idea of our perfect partner when we're single and we're dating, myself included. I had the exact archetype. I mean, I remember when I created my very first Love vision, like, 20 years ago. It was so specific on a very particular type. And I was just going out with the same type of woman over and over and over again, and it wasn't clicking until I went a little more radical than the 20%. I went 100% the opposite direction. And it was highly effective for me because I realized that I didn't know what I really wanted. I didn't know because I wasn't actually exploring all the potential options that exist out there. And, Gary, I don't know if you've ever seen this with clients, like, when they first join, like, it'll be their first week, and we'll start working with them, and they'll say, well, I know exactly what it is that I want. I just need to know exactly where to find him. And when I hear that, I'm kind of like, ooh, I can't wait to talk to you in a month. Like, I can't wait. And it always happens like clockwork. A month later, they're like, oh, my God, I didn't know what I wanted at all. And because now I've gone out with a number of different types of guys, and I'm looking in a totally different direction. Like, I was looking up, now I'm looking down. I was looking to the left, now I'm looking right. It's just a completely different direction. And then the man that they end up with still even looks different than the man they think they're going to be with at that point. And it's wonderful. It's the best relationship of their life. So if we can go into this process with an incredibly open mind, it's not like we're going to go out with Joe Schmo from the local dive bar. It's nothing like that. It's just not like, for example, we had one client who she only went out with guys who were Ivy League, right? Just. That was her type. She's like, he needs to be Ivy League. Ivy League, Ivy League. And it's like expanding that horizon and just removing that one type drastically increases your opportunity and your flow. And then you start to realize, like, oh, my God, those Ivy League types, they're like, can be a little bit pompous. And I found some guys who are a little more grounded, not to say all Ivy League people are pompous, but you get my point. And then you start to realize, well, actually, maybe I just really wanted a very kind and funny guy who's a little bit more grounded, who's just as smart, by the way, you know, and it just requires that incredibly radical openness throughout this process to change your dating algorithm. I think there's a really important one.

Was literally just talking about this the other night on one of our masterminds with our clients about psychological. Everybody thinks they know themselves really well. The fact is, we don't. And the reason that's important is because we also like to think we know how we're going to act in the future, and we know what's best for us in the future, and we don't, because a lot of it's based on flawed information. It depends on how well you really know yourself. And so we're really bad at predicting our future. Behavior, like, tragically bad at it, like, we're terrible. And so, so much that about types is I often wonder, like, when people kind of form their type of person they're looking for, who were they in the. At the time of their life when they formed their type? And I would argue it's almost always an incomplete, highly flawed version of themselves when they decide on the type of partner that they're looking for. And so they keep pursuing this type, wondering why it doesn't work out, without realizing they've grown. That same type that might have served them five, 10 years ago isn't actually the best type of person for who they are now and who they're going to become going forward. And so this type thing, it's a problem, right? And so, you know, I literally was talking about this on a. On a mastermind, because one of our clients, we'll call her Valerie, not her real name, but she said to me, she goes, gary, I want to give you an update. I'm like, okay, what is. She's like, I just had a second date with an amazing man, all because of your suggestion. I'm like, okay, I give a lot of suggestions. So I'm not exactly sure what. And I was like, so what? What was my. What was that suggestion? She goes, you said, don't date your type and give guys with not great pictures a chance, like the guys who don't look like my type, just give them a chance because you just never know. And I said. She said, and you also said, seriously, what do you have to lose? Seriously, like, yes, that does sound like me. And she said she met this guy who, his pictures were terrible. He doesn't look like the kind of guy she would normally date, but she actually went out and got to know him, and he's exactly what she's always wanted but didn't know how to find because she would. It's like you were just saying, like, she was looking down when she should have been looking up, left instead of right, whatever it happens to be. And so that's where you want to optimize your dating algorithm in a better way, right? So don't just go for the guy that everyone else goes for, right? Look for those guys that are hidden value, the diamond in the rough kind. The guys whose pictures aren't that great but might be an amazing person. The guy who, in the first date, just doesn't actually bring all of the charm and charisma that you would have hoped for, but if you give him a little bit of a chance, he Opens up over time. Right. And so some of this is about hidden value. Some of it's about just kind of moving out of the patterns of your types. Because so often your types are based on who you were in the past, and a lot of it's based on superficial qualities. And none of that stuff's going to matter for the future.

I think you nailed on that piece. When we're dating, myself included, I don't want to put words in your mouth. Maybe you include as well. We're all pretty superficial. Like, with our type of. We tend to focus on those things that are easily identifiable because it's. If your type is a kind person, it's really hard to know if someone's kind for about a month, really, you know, so instead we default to the very easy to identify. Tall, handsome, charismatic. And does that always work out? Sometimes, but not always. And to your point, when you talked about the guy who might not be the most charismatic on a first date. Well, if you're only going out with guys who are highly charismatic on a first date, maybe those tend to be more of the player type. Whereas you go with a guy who is a little bit nervous. He might be fidgety on the first date, but then you get to know him over a couple more dates, that connection can grow much deeper. Many times, introverted and shy people can have much deeper emotional connections because you become their person and vice versa. And so by exploring these different types of people, this is the most important part of all this is just changing what you do. It's kind of like. Do you remember in Seinfeld where it was like, George decided one day to just do the opposite of everything he did. Do you remember? This is one where if you're feeling stuck, you're not getting a lot of dates. Just do the opposite. Do the opposite of what you've done. See what happens. What's the worst you can. What's the worst that happens is you go on a couple bad dates and you'll learn a few things.

So, yeah, well. And I would just say yeah, before. Just before we close. I think it's really important. Like, I want to say to everybody listening, the exact same thing I said to our client. What do you have to lose? Right? It's literally 45 minutes, maybe an hour of your life. But give these. Give a guy a chance. Because worst case, you just realize that, look, all guys aren't the same. And I think that's an important thing too. Like, by giving guys who are not your type of. When every time I hear somebody say, all guys are all the same. All I think in my head is, like, you just been dating the same type of guy. Like, that's literally on you. They're a world full of all different kinds of guys. And so if you think all guys are the same, you have to break your dating algorithm. Best case, it opens your eyes to this whole world of possibility of like, oh, my gosh, all guys aren't the same. Not only are all guys not the same, but they're not all like my dirtbag X. And, like, that's super important, too. And so, couple of simple things to make dating a whole lot easier. Hopefully you guys all got a lot out of this.

That was fun, Gary. Appreciate it. Talk to you all next week. All right, bye.

Bye. Thanks, Adam.

So now you've reached the end of the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. And because you have proven that you are serious about attracting love, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast if you didn't feel that way. What I'd love for you to do is go to loveapply.com where you can apply for a complimentary love strategy session where a professional love strategist on my team is going to speak with you directly and be able to see whether or not our executive love coaching programs can be transformational for you and your love life. There's absolutely no fee whatsoever. All you got to do is head on over to loveapply.com schedule that session, and you could be speaking with someone on my team over the next couple days. All right, thanks so much. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.