The Feminine Charm Code: 7 Proven Ways to Be a Magnetic First Date

Do you feel like you're suffering from the first date curse? It's like you're walking around with a stamp on your forehead that says, I hate men. Just ghost me. Please use me. I'm a lesbian now. Unless you have a tattoo on your face, then it is not a stamp. It's just adjusting your strategy and it's time for a change. So here are seven proven ways to be a charming first date. So we have men begging you for that second date and many more. Keep watching. Hey there, Adam Lodolce from lovestrategies.com where we help successful single women get out there and attract long lasting love and do with a proven strategy. In this video, we're going to be talking about all about having that feminine charm code on that first date. Now, most people think that charm is something that you have or you don't have, and that's just not true. Here's exactly how to do it. Number one, build your sexy confidence. This is all about giving yourself that pep talk before you go on that first date. Getting into that mindset. Because confidence ultimately is just an emotion. It's that feeling you get when you're like, I got it. Maybe you listen to something really positive, whether it's a podcast or it's music. Maybe when you. One of my favorites is listen to a comedian. Getting myself that positive state before a date. Or one of my favorite tips to getting into that confident mindset is to call one of your best positive friends, like that friend that you get on the phone with them and you know they're going to make you laugh and get you in that really good mood. I mean, back in the day when I was single, I used to get so nervous before a date. Like literally I'd be shaking if it was a big date. And I would literally call the same exact friend. His name actually happens to be Adam as well. And he's a really, really funny guy. And every time I call him, he'd have a funny story. It would just get me laughing and it would help me get into that state. So I was radiating that type of confidence. And you can do the same exact thing. The next step is to just relax and just remove the pressure. Have you ever noticed that the harder you really try to be super charming, the more awkward it can actually get? So just remind yourself before you go out and meet that guy, it's just a date. He's probably more nervous about seeing you than you are of seeing him. And let him be the one who's nervous. Let him feel that Press. I mean, he's the guy, you're the woman, let him impress you rather than you worrying about impressing him. I call this mindset outcome independence. Go on a date not worrying about the outcome. Is he going to like you are going to be married, are you going to be in a relationship, are you going to have children together? All that stuff. Don't think about any of that stuff on the date. Just go into it not worrying about the outcome and just be your absolute best energy and your best self and don't worry about it. The more dates that you go on, the more relaxed you'll be. So think of it kind of like practice. So if you're ready to get out there and start practicing some of these strategies, just leave a comment right there below. Say, I'm ready to start practicing. Number three is to warm up before you go on the date. Now here's the thing about being charming. It's all about your mindset. I mean, have you ever gone out to a party or gone and met someone and you were just like on fire? Like everything you say is just like clicking and you're just in that incredible state. Whereas have you ever gone out other times and you meet someone and you're just feeling uncomfortable, you're not in the right head space and everything you say is just like a little bit awkward. Well, this is something that I noticed as I was going out as a coach and helping lots of people in their love life. And I started to notice that we can trigger that mental state before we go out at any given time. And I call this a social warmup. Think about a social warmup. Very similar to warming up before you go and work out. Like, you wouldn't just go to the gym and just put the heaviest weight possible for like a squat and just start squatting. No, you probably blow out your knees. The first thing you do is just start kind of moving your body a little bit and getting yourself a little bit sweaty, getting yourself ready. And the same thing works with dating and socializing and meeting people. If you have a big date coming up, don't go from sitting at home doing nothing on your computer all day, not talking to anyone, to suddenly going on a big date, have a warm up in between. Maybe that's talking to the bartender before you get there, maybe talking to an old friend like I said earlier in this video. Or maybe it's just talking to like a cashier at a convenience store and, and just having a five minute conversation. Getting those lips moving is so powerful to get yourself into that peak mindset before you get on that date. Because ultimately if you are in that mindset and you're socially warmed up and you're just on, oh my God, you are going to be so charming. Number four is to just prepare a few things to talk about before the date. Now look, the more dates you go on, the more kind of like back pocket conversational points you're going to have to talk about on dates. And a back pocket conversational point is basically a story or, or something you talk about on a date that you've talked about before. So you kind of have it a little bit, I don't wanna say rehearsed, but you've already kind of figured out the how to tell the story in a way that is really engaging to the other person. And don't worry if you don't have any of these kind of nailed down yet or you don't even have any back pocket conversational points, you're gonna get there. The more that you practice. Just whatever you do, please avoid these three topics. Research shows that both men and women agreed that talking about X's sexual preferences and potty humor. Although you ladies wouldn't do that. That's definitely. Guys, we're the top three absolute no nos when it comes to conversations on a first date. So if you want more help preparing and getting to that peak state, make sure you give this video a like and more of these videos are going to show up on your feed. And honestly, it gives me a little bit of that love. I would really appreciate it. Number five is don't be afraid to ask questions that go deeper. So we want to ask good questions on a first date and you want to know how to bore the hell out of guy on a first date. And ask one of these three questions. So where are you from? So what do you do? So where do you live? Boring. These questions are so boring and don't elicit any type of emotional response. So instead let's dig a little bit deeper. For example, talk about the who, the why, the what. Rather than asking him what he does for a living, ask him why he chose that profession and who does he work with. Dive a little bit deeper. Try to really uncover who the human being is sitting across from you. Also, if you want to dig deeper into a conversation, we think so much about the questions we're asking that we sometimes forget to actually listen. Use active listening as he's talking. Show him that you are actually listening by nodding your head and being engaged in the conversation and then using the things that he is talking about to just dive deeper. You can always use the who, what, where, why, and how to just learn more about him and his life. And the more just curious you are about a person and the easier this is. Don't do this just because you listen to some video on YouTube that tells you to dig deep. Dig deep because you want to genuinely get to know who this human being is that you're on a date with. And of course, give him enough space conversationally to ask you questions as well. And if you want a little bit more help on that first date, make sure you go to lovestrategies.com where we have a free training that's going to reveal the single best question to ask a guy on a date. Head on over lovestrategies.com, we have a free virtual coaching session that I know you're going to love. Number six is to smock. Let me explain what that is. Years ago, before I started Love Strategies, I was actually a dating coach for men. And I would go out with groups of guys and I would help them on their ability to meet and flirt with you. And I remember very distinctly I'd be going out with these guys and I remember I'd literally be behind them and honestly poking them. And I'd be like, smile. Like smile. You got to smile more. You got to be more engaging. But something would happen when they actually meet the woman. They'd go from this state where they're smiling every they go to suddenly just having a completely straight face. And so I came up with this term that I call smocking, which is smiling while talking. Notice it's something I'm doing right now. It's something that requires a little bit of practice. But once you get it, you'll see that people immediately start to warm up when they're around you. And it's something you have to be super intentional about doing. I challenge you right now to pause this video and try to say, I'm going to try smoking and do it with a smile and see what happens. Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear how that goes. And finally, number seven is all about breaking that touch barrier. The easiest way to show a guy that you're interested and engaged on a first date and to build that charm is to just lightly touch his arm, especially when he says something funny and just do a hahaha laugh. All right? Only let. Please don't laugh like that. Laugh a little bit more authentically. But when you do, just lightly touch his arm and he's going to look at you and be like oh, oh she's into me. Interesting. Great way to be charming on a first date. And you'll notice if you watch any woman who really has a feminine charm code if you watch her in the movies or famous people, whatever, they're always lightly breaking that touch barrier and it's not something that came naturally to me. It's something I had to learn and it's absolutely something that you can learn. So I dare you to try it the next time you're with a guy just lightly touch him on the arm and see how it changes the dynamic in the conversation. So one big theme of this video is that it's all about your mindset. Commit yourself to following this charm code. Get out there and attract the man you deeply deserve. Have some fun and let me know how it goes. Love to hear from you in the comments. All right, speak to you very soon. Bye bye.