What Makes a Man See You as Wife Material

When a guy is getting out there and dating, he puts women in only one of two categories. And once you're in one of these categories, it's nearly impossible to be re categorized in his mind. The first category is hookup material, and the second is wife material. So be sure to stay to the end of this video because I promise you, you will never, ever be put in that hookup material category ever again in your love life. Because the reality is it has very little to do with your looks, your job, or even how a guy meets you. In fact, I met my w Jessica at a bar in South Boston on New Year's Day. I was like two vodka sodas in. And you'd think that she would be positioned in my mind as just hookup material, but she definitely, definitely was wife material. And of course, don't get me wrong, I mean, I would have totally hooked up with her that day if she would have been so gracious to have been interested in hooking up with me that day. But she was a hard no on that given day. No way in hell was she hooking up with me. And I know how much pain and frustration there is when you feel like a guy is just trying to hook up with you. He doesn't want anything more. And I want to help you in this area of your life because not only am I the CEO of Love Strategies, where our sole mission here is to help you attract the healthiest relationship imaginable, but I also just feel like I'm your big brother watching out for you. I need to tell you that some of these types of guys out there are categorizing you the wrong way because you are wife material. We just need to position you the right way. Unbeknownst to you guys are talking about you right now. I used to do this with my single guy friends be talking about, well, you know, I kind of like her, but she's kind of like a right now type of girl, not really a lifetime type of relationship, wife material type of woman. And the worst part of all of this is that some of the guys out there, not the good guys, but some of the guys out there, they will continue hooking up with you even if you're just hook up material for them. They will just continue doing it for as long as you can emotionally handle it. And he knows in the back of his mind that one day that gravy love train that he's getting, it's going to end in some kind of crazy blowout fight. When you ask him, what are we? Is This a relationship or what have you. And he's like, no, we're just hooking up. And he knows this gravy train is over. So let's jump into these four traits that by the way, any woman can have. And once you have these, then men will start positioning you as the that wife material. And I will tell you one final thing. The older and more successful and more mature a man is, the more he cares about these traits. The first trait is discipline. And discipline is something that is almost never discussed when it comes to dating. It's not a very fun word, honestly, but discipline is a really important quality to have while dating. For example, let's say you're dating a guy that you know in the back of your mind, this guy is a total nightmare for you. He's going to ruin your life. You got to have discipline to say that magical four letter word which is next to move on from that guy and open your heart to the right guy. We also have to have discipline when it comes to moving forward in the relationship. When to sleep together, how often to see one another, how often to be texting this guy, to slow it down throughout the process. And so let's break down what it means to actually be disciplined. There's a few kind of components to this. For starters, discipline is all about not doing something that you actually want to do. So for example, if you want to sleep with him, you're excited and you're turned on by him. Having discipline would say, I'm not going to sleep with him yet, even though I want to sleep with him because it's just too soon. We've just getting to know each other. We haven't built that friendship yet. We don't have any type of emotional connection. So I'm not going to do it. I can't tell you how many clients that I've worked with in the past who will say, yeah, I'm super disciplined to not sleep with guys. And they'll always say, well, did you actually like the guys? And like, no, I don't like that guy. And I tell them, of course you're disciplined not to sleep with them because you don't really like that guy. And then out of nowhere a guy who's six, four, really handsome comes out of nowhere and she's sleeping with him instantly. That's not discipline. Discipline means when I'm really attracted to this guy, I'm still going to slow it down, create that space and not just dive in head first and hope that everything works out. Now the second component of discipline is doing something that you don't want to do, but doing it anyways because you know it's good for you. It could be having that really difficult conversation that you don't want to have with a guy because you're really nervous about it, but you're disciplined and you're going to do the thing anyways because you know what's best for you. Or it could just be going out on a given night and knowing you really don't feel like going to this party, but you know there's going to be really good guys there and you want to have this opportunity to meet some of those guys. That means getting your beautiful behind off of the couch, going out to the party, talking to a few different guys, even though you don't feel like it's. That's what discipline looks like. And the best part about discipline is that it's just a muscle. It's a muscle that you can flex over and over and over again and start to build that muscle. And the best way I've found to have discipline in any area of my life is to have information. So if you want to learn a step by step strategy to get out there and find love, I have what we call the seven little love steps. It's a free training. Just go to lovestrategies.com walk through that training. It's going to show you step by step, that exact process. The second quality is radical honesty. And I throw in the word radical because most people think that they're being honest in their daily life or in their relationships until they really audit it. Like really take a hard notice, a hard look at the conversations you're having throughout your day, throughout your week, and you're going to notice there's a number of times you might throw in some white lies because you don't really want to have the difficult conversations. So radical honesty is having a deep commitment. Not just some like surface level commitment, but I'm talking like a deep level commitment to always telling the one 100% truth 100% of the time, even when it's really difficult. And ladies, I will tell you, us men, we are more perceptive than you give us credit for. Like, even the smallest white lies can have huge ramifications in the relationship. For example, I had a client who was divorced three times and she felt so much shame about having been divorced three times and having three failed marriages. But she wanted to get out there, she wanted to find love. And for years before working with us, she was out there, she was dating she was trying to find the next final love of her life, but she was telling all the guys that she was dating that she was only married once. Now, you might think to yourself, this is just kind of like a simple, harmless lie, like it doesn't really matter. But the problem is, once you would get further along in the relationship, she would drop this massive bomb. And then she was just say, well, you know, I said I was only married once, but it was actually three times. And then these guys would rightfully break it off with her. But here's the kicker. Before working with us, she always thought that guys would break it off with her because she was divorced three times. But that wasn't necessarily the case. The reality is they were breaking it off because she told a lie early on in the dating process and because, honestly, she just wasn't being radically honest. And now, after working with us, she's adopted this new mindset of 100 honesty, 100 of the time, radical honesty. And can you guess who she started attracting? Guys who are honest. And we were just talking recently, and she's so excited about all the results she's getting, all the guys she's attracting and how things are going. In fact, she's very close to being exclusive with one guy she's talking to. But I digress. She told me the biggest benefit of radical honesty is that when you really commit to this, you'll stop putting up with any type of lies when it comes for men. Because you're setting such a strong standard for yourself, suddenly now you can have the same type of standards for these guys are meeting. The third quality that really anyone looks for in a spouse is someone who is emotionally stable. I mean, you probably experienced this. Have you ever dated someone? You get home or you meet up with them, and you never really know what you're walking into. Is it Dr. Jekyll? Is it Mr. Hyde? Or is it Mr. Narcissist Psychopath who makes your life a living hell? You literally don't know what it is that you're walking into. One day you're soaring through the clouds, you're so excited. Everything's going so well. He's so kind, he's so caring, he's so loving. And day, he's mean, he's disrespectful, he's horrific. And you're like, who is this human being that I'm with right now? So if you've ever experienced that, then it's time for you to put yourself in the shoes of men. Men also are looking for consistency. But the reality is a high caliber emotionally stable man, he'll hook up with Ms. Hyde. He'll hook up with a woman who has a lot of emotional volatility, but he's not going to marry her. A guy who's really emotionally stable himself, who has his shit together. He's going to require some degree of emotional stability in the relationship. And it doesn't mean you can't get upset, doesn't mean you can't have difficult conversation. It just means that your regularity of your emotions is in check. And don't worry, I'll give the same exact advice to men. In fact, I would always tell guys that the truest test of maturity is to be able to manage your emotions. Like, think about it. Let's go to the extreme. Children literally have zero emotional stability. That's why they can be total basket cases when you tell them that they can't eat any more ice cream. Right? Whereas mature adults, they know how to recognize their emotions as somewhat of a signal, but it's not a driving force to their behavior. This is why it drives me a little bit bonkers. Talk about me losing my emotional stability here. But it drives me insane when I see the advice out there on the interwebs for people who are getting out there and dating. And it's all about just listening to your emotions, following your heart, when in reality, your emotions can lead you into the arms of the wrong man or it can lead you to crazy emotional volatility in a relationship. In my opinion, it's well intentioned but misinformed advice. 100. And the final quality that anyone looks for in a spouse, but men certainly look for in a wife is kindness. And this is true across all cultures. Nearly all studies show this, that the number one trait people look for in a lifelong partner is someone who is kind. And don't worry, I'm not going to put on my hippie T shirt and talk about how we just need to have more kindness in the world. But I will tell you that kindness is really easy when people are kind back. But that's not the world that we live in and it's definitely not the dating culture we're in right now. So how do we respond? Kindness is a decision. It's your way of telling the world, I don't care what you do. To me, I'm going to show up as my best self when I get out there and I'm going to give my best possible energy to the world and be kind to everyone that I interact with, even if they're not being kind to me. That doesn't mean I'm going to allow them to stay in my life. I'm just gonna move on and find someone better. Because I assure you, if every time someone is unkind to you, you respond being unkind to them and other people, I promise you, you're gonna turn into a 100% grumpy person no one wants to be around. And if you can recognize that anytime someone's being unkind to you, it's usually not a reflection on you. It's a reflection of their life, their life circumstances, how they were raised, what's happened to them earlier that day. It doesn't even have anything to do with you. Suddenly now you can just kind of remove the pressure from yourself thinking that you need to respond with unkindness, Give them a smile, move on. And you know what? Don't let those types of people ruin your experience of getting out there and finding love. And speaking of kindness, Love Strategies now has over 40 employees and they are the most kind, caring, compassionate, empathetic human beings you've ever met. I promise you that. Because I'm. I'm surrounded by them every single day and they blow my mind every single. And what we do is we coach and guide women just like you to attract the love that you truly deserve and do with a proven strategy. So if you are really ready to speak with someone on my team, go ahead and head on over to loveapply.com you can apply for a complimentary love strategy session where someone on my team who is incredibly kind and caring can understand where it is that you've been struggling in your love life, where it is that you want to go, and whether or not we can help you get there. If it ends up being a fit, we can invite you to work with us in our executive love coaching program. If not, then we will guide you in the best direction possible based on that conversation. Again, head on over to loveapply.com and you can check that out and we will walk with you every single step of the way. And let's leave it with one final comment right there below. What do you look for in a quality of a man that you are looking to marry? Leave that comment right there below and I will speak to you ladies very soon. Bye Bye.