A parent explains how he models behavior instead of lecturing, admits his mistakes, and teaches his kids a framework for making their own decisions. He sets boundaries but lets natural consequences do the teaching, aiming to give them autonomy rather than impose his values.
Science shows that kids don't listen to anything that you say, but instead they're going to mimic and emulate how you actually show up and what your actions are. So I try to become the best version of myself. And what that looks like for my kids is admitting when I'm wrong and then telling them, giving them a framework for when I'm making a decision. I'm teaching my kids how to think. I'm teaching my kids how to uncover their own values rather than trying to impress upon them what my values are. I'm showing them how I created my values and allowing them to do the same thing for themselves. This is the most important gift we can give our children, that is that spirit of autonomy and sovereignty, so that they can make their own decisions. And I view my job as a parent to just kind of set the guardrails and make sure that the kids aren't getting outside of the lines, but that they're able to choose their own path for themselves. I also try to let them feel the consequences when they make poor choices. So that they learn how to make better choices in the future rather than just me telling them what a better choice is.
