Why Your Goals Fail (And How to Fix It in 2026)

Welcome to the Inner Circle with Kevin Dahlstrom and Mike Brown. And the whole idea of the show is just diving into the conversations that Kevin and I are having anyway. So, so you're going to get a true inner look into the inner workings of our mind, spoken out loud, bouncing ideas off of each other.

Hey dude, how's it going?

Good, man. Great to be here as always. Ready to, to dive into some, some juicy New Year's topics.

Yes. I'm very excited about this one because it's a topic that everyone's thinking about right now. You know, it's, as we record this, it's December 27th. The new year is upon us and everybody, you know, as is human nature, everybody's thinking about all the great things they're going to do in the year ahead. And I thought maybe we'd start, you posted, you had a cool post a few days ago around this idea of choosing a single word that sort of represents what you're going after for the year. Maybe you can expand on that a little bit and we'll start with like, what word did you choose and why? And then I'll do the same.

So I've been doing this exercise for about 5 years and it's basically the most woo thing that I do, but it is wild, the power of choosing a single word. First of all, a single word forces clarity of thought. And what I challenge and encourage people to do is pick a word that rolls up and embodies multiple concepts into like a single theme of the year. So, my word for 2025 was purpose. And that word to me acted not only as inspiration to do my best to live into my purpose, but also as a decision-making filter. Like, is this aligned with my purpose? And I actually wore it as a bracelet around my wrist. I could look down and go, "Well, are my actions aligned to my purpose? And my word for the year of 2026 is devotion. And I think this is the natural evolution of purpose. So last year was about expanding into my purpose and really trying to live into that. Devotion for me is the opposite side of the coin of discipline. So discipline implies I'm doing things I don't want to do to achieve some outcome. Devotion for me is doing things that I want to do that I know will set me up for inevitable success. So, for me, devotion this year looks like meditating every day, writing every day, moving my body every day, and just being as present as I possibly can. And I know if I do those things 365 times, like, there is no way that I won't end up exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I love that. And after reading your post, um, I chose a word that now that I hear you explain devotion is actually like a different spin on that, but I think it has everything to do with the seasons of life that you and I are in. Um, and the word I chose was— is manifest. And the reason I like the word manifest is because it implies accountability. So I feel like In the past year or this year, 2025 was a year of transition for me. I mean, I wound down any— at the end of last year, I wound down anything that you would probably call a job. And this year, by the way, will be by far, probably by 80% reduction, the lowest income I've had in a long time. But it's been a fantastic year and in some ways, uh, a year to like recover from, you know, running hard for a really long time. But I, but I, I couldn't help myself. I've planted a lot of seeds in things that I'm very interested in, things that are aligned. But honestly, now is the time to start for those seeds to sprout and start bearing fruit. And I wanna hold myself accountable to real results, like real fruit, which is why I chose the word manifest, cuz it's turning things into reality. And so you were talking— you and I were talking right before we hit the record button that in some ways you and I are headed slightly different directions because you're in many ways— you've said that, you know, you're— you want to do 30% less this year, I think is what was your quote. Yeah, you're shrinking and curating and focusing. And in a way, I'm coming out of that season where I've been ruthless about minimalism and less is more. And now, I want to be a little bit more is more. Like, I want to just go do the work and I want to hold myself accountable to that.

Yeah. And, this is sort of the nature of reality, right, is we're always in a cycle of expansion and contraction or the Buddhist would say birth, death, and rebirth, right? From morning and night to each individual breath, right? Everything is expansion and contraction and Birth, death, and rebirth. And, you know, this is, I think, really interesting when it comes to goals. And you and I talk about goals and outcomes a lot.

Yep.

Right. And so, you know, when I think about setting goals, I think of two things. Number one, I want a process-oriented goal, not an outcome-oriented goal. Right? So, you know, if I say I want to grow my following on Twitter, right? Well, I can't actually control how many people follow me on Twitter. What I can control is how do I show up and post every single day with my best work. But if I do that 365 times, if I build a process where I show up every day and post my best work, the outcome of growing my audience is inevitable. So, number 1, how do I make a goal inevitable from process? And then 2, how do I build the process so that the life that I live in service of that process is such a great life that the outcome doesn't actually matter, right? And so, I enjoy the process of writing. It helps me force clarity of thought. It helps me tap into the creative side. And so, will I have lived a great life this year if I write every single day? The answer is yes. So, the outcome actually doesn't, doesn't matter, right? The outcome becomes irrelevant. So how can I create a goal that makes the outcome both inevitable and simultaneously irrelevant?

That's my, um, single favorite thing that you say, by the way. And, you know, um, you often describe it as like it's two opposing thoughts that you can hold at once. Um, by, you know, building a process that you love, that you're devoted to the, um, you're, you're making the outcome inevitable, but you also care less about the outcome. I would challenge that a little bit for myself because, you know, I agree with you 1,000%. Like I'm very, you know, process-oriented. Um, we were talking about writing earlier and, you know, it's just my joy. My morning writing practice is my joy. And, um, I write for an audience of one, which is me. And it turns out that over time people find it and it resonates with them. And You know, that, that's a whole thing unto itself is like having, having a following. But for, tell me how you would, um, uh, how would you counsel me on this? Because I'm all about the process, but there are some very specific outcomes that I wanna hold myself accountable to in this year. And I'll be very specific and vulnerable. Um, I started a business in June of 2025 called Bolt Health. It's a men's health business. We won't get into the details, but It's off to a good start. It's going well. The opportunity is unlimited. And I tell my friends, and it sounds like a clever line, but it's the truth. The biggest risk and limitation for the business is me and specifically my willingness to do the things that I don't want to do. I, I have no problem doing the things I enjoy, the writing and the evangelism, and I'm, I'm passionate. It's aligned. Uh, it's part of who I am. Yeah. But there's also like building involves doing hard things. And, um, I have to consistently do the hard things that I don't want to do to achieve the outcome I want. So, so what's your reaction to that?

Yeah. I mean, this is, I actually think the, the center of, you know, where self-sabotage comes from. And I think it comes from dissonance, right? Dissonance is saying, I want this outcome. But not being willing to sacrifice or put in the work or do the hard things to create that outcome. And the problem is most of us are totally fine to live in dissonance.

Yep.

Right. We say we want to make $1 million, but we're not willing to do the brass tacks of what it actually takes to make— to make the million dollars. So, so what I would say is, how do you collapse the dissonance? Get really clear on, on what you want. Like, and then ask yourself, like, do I want this outcome bad enough to do the things I don't want to do? If no, that's totally fine, right? You gotta let go of the outcome. The, the dissonance comes in pretending that you can get the outcome without the input.

I love that. And you know what, um, bothers me a little bit about that is this is where, like, the Hustle Bros were right. You know, Hormozy, for example, who is a really smart guy, I disagree with— I think he's misguided in many ways, but his core message is that success in anything is a direct function of effort. And that I totally agree with. Like, you can, you can call it grinding, and we dismiss the idea of grinding. And then enlightened guys like us refer to it as like increasing your surface area for serendipity, which is just another way of saying like doing hard things to make the outcome inevitable. Um, but there's just no, that, that's kind of my, my mantra for this year. And the reason I chose the word manifest is, um, I really want to hold myself accountable to this notion that the success will be a direct function of the effort that I put in. And I think you nailed it. It's like, how badly do I really want it? Because the proof's in the pudding. Like I, I'm a firm believer that people do things that are important to them. And so, if you're not doing the thing, you have to ask yourself, do I just need to show more discipline? And that's entirely possible. I think in my case, that is at least partially true. Or do I need to let go of this outcome that I don't honestly really want?

Yeah. And neither of those is wrong, right? The only thing that's wrong in that is lying to yourself or saying, I really want this thing but your actions aren't aligning with what you say you value, right? And so, how do I live in alignment?

Yes. And where I see this happen a lot, this misalignment, is it's very common among guys who have had big success in their career, like a big exit. And then they, they say, you know, their natural tendency is to go on to the next thing, then building something else. But what they find in most cases is they don't really want it anymore. They've lost the hunger and they're, they're kind of kidding themselves about it. And probably in many of those cases, they really need to pivot to something else that they do care about where they are hungry. And honestly, for me, for a period of time when I kind of punched out of the corporate world, that was rock climbing. Like I had this burning passion, still do for rock climbing, which is, you know, simultaneously pointless and the most meaningful thing I do. But I went and pursued that full tilt. I feel like now, Mike, I just became an empty nester. I'm entering a season where I kind of want to get back to work.

Yeah, and I think that's totally valid, right? Back to the idea of expansion and contraction, right? And yeah, you know, a lot of people when they come to me, you know, exploring working together, they ask a question you know, if I dive into this work, will I lose my edge? And my answer is, like, if your edge is driven by darkness, like, probably, like, that edge will soften over time. But then the thing that you get to replace it with, right, is so much more expansive, it's so much lighter. But it may not necessarily propel you to the same heights, right? Because, like, darkness is a really effective driver but at what cost?

Let's hold ourselves accountable here. So let's, let's be, maybe wrap by being really specific about, you know, what those words mean for us and what 2026 means for us. And I think the simplest takeaway for me is, um, I've got to build a process that includes a good bit of stuff that I don't enjoy in the present, compounds and contributes to the outcome I want. I mean, to be very, very specific, like right now I need to write like 15 pages of website content, and that's not the type of thing I naturally enjoy, um, but it's got to be done. And I think it's— it needs to be done in the service of the bigger goal, which I do feel is pure, uh, which is building this into a— building Bolt into a great business. So I think it's— for me, it's about like that, that process that ultimately makes the outcome inevitable and also less meaningful does need to include a bit of the stuff I don't enjoy or more of the stuff I don't enjoy.

You know, there is a balance there, right? Which is, look, you know, I think a really damaging concept is like, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Like, I leap out of bed. I love what I get to do for work. And some days it feels like fucking work.

That's the missing— that's the piece a lot of people miss in that, you know, love what you do discussion.

Yeah, totally. But, you know, for me, and this is back to my word, which is devotion, which is, you know, I don't feel like meditating every single day, right? So Do I force myself to do something I don't want to do? Or do I look at the bigger picture and go, hey, I know if I just sit on the cushion every day over time, like the results, the fruits of that practice will be so much better than, you know, always living in this single moment of like, what do I want to do right now?

Yeah.

And that, that really is like How do I take care of future me while also honoring current me? Right. So to me, that's an incredible way to frame it.

Like the stuff you want to do is honoring the current me and the stuff that's maybe hard, feels hard, is really about playing the long game. And, you know, long games are the only games worth playing. Um, listen, I think we should stop there. And I think also we should do a check-in in 3 months and see how we're feeling about the words that we chose and kind of how the year's going. Maybe check in at the end of March or something and revisit this topic.

Yeah, and here's what I'll say for anybody thinking about selecting their word. Make sure the word both inspires and challenges you. And you can tell by Kevin and I, both of our words in this conversation, like there's some challenge there to the word that we're picking, right? Devotion means, can I show up to the thing I know I know serves me even when I don't want to. It'll be really interesting to see how I'm feeling about that in 3 months. So I'm, I'm up for it.

Awesome. And last thing I want to say is I love this episode, Mike, because this conversation we just had is literally the exact same conversation we would have if we weren't recording, if we were in your sauna or something. Uh, and so that's exactly what we were aiming for with the Inner Circle is just like a glimpse into two guys trying to make their way through these challenges, you know?

Yeah, I mean, it's literally thinking out loud and having the conversations that we'd be having anyway. So, you know, if you're listening this far, thanks for joining us and we'll see you next time.

Awesome, dude. See you, Mike.