The speaker grew up watching their parents fight over money, which made them crave financial security. But they confused worrying constantly with being responsible, then sabotaged themselves by spending everything they earned. The real problem: they wanted money as a safety net but didn't actually respect it.
I equated worrying about money with being responsible with money. I was a very driven individual. I wanted to build and create. My dad was an engineer. He worked for a big company. I had this entrepreneurial drive, and my dad was kind of more of an employee mindset. Incredibly kind man, but I watched him and my mom fight, and they fought about one thing: money. I never wanted to be like that, so I'm going to have enough money that I will never have to worry or fight with my partner. But it also became a limitation. I had a very freewheeling relationship. I didn't respect money. I had this very easy come, easy-go mentality through a lot of personal development work is the story of, I'm going to have so much money, I'll never have to worry about it. If I have money in my bank account, I've got to get it away from me as soon as possible. It all is under this shroud of success. At the core, it's self-sabotage.
