015 - Personal Promises

Welcome to the Pure Desire podcast, where we partner with you to bring hope and freedom on your journey to purity.

Hey there.

I'm your host, Trevor Windsor, and we're so thankful you're taking time out of your day to hang out with us. I'm here with Nick Stumbo.

Let's play ball.

And Brian Roberts.

Hey.

Oh, well, we are going to talk about a really cool tool that we use that we call personal or sometimes refer to as prophetic promises. Now, I want to start really quick for the non Pentecostals out there like me. If you're theologically triggered by the word prophetic, we just ask that you listen to just the first two questions, see if you like the episode, and then we're going to go into it because the Personal promise is a really, really cool piece. So, guys, let's just jump right in. Nick, let me ask you this question first. So what is a personal promise?

Yeah, what we mean when we're talking about that. By the way, good job not laughing at my greeting. I was expecting some kind of response, but you're doing so good at playing games.

It gets more difficult each time.

Did the Twins win? I didn't follow.

Moving on. Yes, especially by the time this podcast airs, Cleveland will probably be winning the World Series or something like that.

You heard it here first, folks.

That's right. So a personal promise. What we're describing here is this is a word from God to me, about me, that is foundational to my life, that's defining who I am in and through God's creation of me. So one of the things that we want to be aware of is that God is a speaking God. Not only did he speak through his word thousands of years ago, but he continues to be alive and active. He's put his Holy Spirit in us. If we have faith in Christ and we want to believe that, just like there are experiences from our past giving us a negative message that causes us to doubt our self worth and wonder about our value, God's word to us creates that opposite message of truth and of value. And so we're trying to help one another understand what has God said throughout my life to me, about me and becoming aware of that as something I really make a regular part of my thinking.

So, Nick, growing up in Pentecostal Church, this language doesn't bother me at all. But I have run into another aspect of this, and that is that in pure desire groups, and I've seen this over and over again, I would say about a third of the guys that come in A group have never attended church, like, ever. And they're like, I don't read the Bible. I don't know what this means. So what would you tell someone who says, like, okay, how does the Bible back this up? Or what proof do we have that this is, you know, how God operates within our lives?

Yeah. First, just real quickly to talk about, you know, the word prophetic. When we're using it here, we don't mean prophetic as in someone like, telling you your future. Because I think that's what makes people nervous is like, I hear from God you're going to do these things. And a lot of times, like, okay, not sure if you date.

I mean, but if you do have that gift, like, call me, I'll give you my number. Let me know what's going to go down in my life.

And I don't mean to diminish that, because I think there are people that God reveals things to and they can speak into someone's life. But by prophetic, if you look at Scripture, the word prophecy or prophet, more reveals refers to someone who reveals truth and who's able to speak through the cloud of lies or deceit or of misinformation and really speak clearly about what God sees and what God is up to. And that's what we're talking about in these promises. They're prophetic in the sense that it's understanding God's truth in our lives. And so we understand from Scripture the need to renew our minds. You know, Romans 12:2 says, Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Many other verses we could bring up that talk about how significant it is, what we think about that. What we think about shapes who we are. So when you ask about, you know, where we see this in scripture, there are a number of examples where you recognize someone had an experience with God, because that's what we're focusing on here is not just something that's a verse, but what was an experience with God that made a difference in how I saw myself. So one great example is in 2nd Corinthians, chapter 12. The apostle Paul has been praying to the Lord to take away this thorn. And we don't know what the thorn is, but he cries out. And three times God comes to him and says, my strength is enough for you. My grace is all you need, for my strength is perfected through your weakness. And two verses later, Paul restates in his own word. He says, I've discovered that when I am weak, then I am strong. So he's personalized it. He had this experience where God said, my grace is all you need. My strength is enough. And he's taken that as a personal promise to recognize that in this area where he still had his thorn, he's able to say, when I'm weak, I'm strong. So it affected the way he saw himself. Another great example is in the life of Jesus. In Luke chapter three. When he's baptized, it says, he sees heaven being opened, the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove, and the Father saying to him, this is my son, whom I love. With you, I am well pleased. And in the next verse, he goes into the wilderness where he's tempted by Satan. And now remember, Luke didn't write chapter headings and verse numbers. He didn't go, chapter four, Jesus in the wilderness. He just went writing from one verse right into the next. So in his writing, the next sentence is about this temptation with the devil. And the devil's temptation is, if you are the Son of God, turn these stones into bread. Which, for someone that hadn't eaten it a very long time, that would have been tempting to Jesus. He was full of fully human and fully God. So that knowing he had the ability to create food for himself when he's hungry, had to be a temptation. But the real hook to Satan's lie was, if you're the Son of God, well, what had he just heard from his heavenly Father? He just heard, you are my dearly loved son. And so that promise of his value and his worth was what strengthened him to resist temptation. And he's able to say, man does not live by bread alone, but every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. So he had scripture ready to combat that. But sometimes we focus on that piece of the story too much that, well, when you're tempted, quote scripture at it. I think the reason Jesus withstood that temptation is because he had a personal word from God about his value, his identity, that he didn't give in to the lie of Satan that started the temptation. And I think the same thing happens for so many men and women, though, when we're tempted by sexual sin. We think, oh, the battle is all about avoiding whatever that temptation is. But underneath the temptation, there's some kind of lie about where our value or our worth or our identity is coming from.

I think, as you were kind of mentioning it earlier, that because Hebrews 4:12 comes to mind that the word of God is living and is active, and something that's alive and is active is moving around, it has a presence in your life, it's not something that's static. And I think that that's a really easy passage to look at for this kind of thing. Because the reality is the Bible is not just words on a page. Like, it is God's Word moving through you, moving in your life. And so to know that that's. That God's Word is always going to have a role in your life applications, always going to be there, that I can put this stuff into practice. So I think even just more to like a foundational level, not just examples, but like supporting the idea of a personal promise. I think that we can see from Hebrews 4 that God knew what he was doing when he. He ordained Scripture to be written, is that it was going to be living in an active piece of our daily life.

I love the fact too, to go along with that in my daily devotions where I've read a section of Scripture before and I've already got notes on it and things I've identified. But then all of a sudden it just jumps at you. It says, like, this is where you're at, Brian, right today. It's like God's talking to me through His Word and saying, here's something you're going to need to know for the situation. I think we've all experienced that we've been in the middle of a hard time or maybe something we don't understand. And just through the normal process, we've read something we read a hundred times or heard somebody speak on and give a great sermon on. And all of a sudden it just God's talking directly to me like, this is exactly what I'm getting at and who you are and who I've said you are and how. And how you're going to face this.

So then the question then becomes, because you think of, you know, Scripture where it says, write my word upon your heart like the tablets of your heart. So to always have God's Word in your head, in your heart, always moving around. So I guess the question then becomes, what's the difference between a personal promise and just memorizing Scripture?

Yeah, that's a great question. And we want to make sure we don't undervalue in any way God's Word. But we do make a mistake in the church of saying, well, you know, learn these verses, quote these verses when you're tempted and you'll be able to resist. Because what we're battling from our past and the wounds that drive us are experienced experiences, and they're emotional experiences that trigger us. And so when we're being triggered. And we're allowing these experiences from our past that give us the wrong sense of value and identity. Those are experiences. And then we try to quote words at an experience and it doesn't help. What we need is equally powerful, true experiences that can overcome the lies of other experiences. So what we're really talking about is a four step process here. So just to really clarify, well, how do, how do I come up with my personal promise or a prophetic promise in my life? You know, number one, you want to think of a time when you have personally experienced God. And right up front, a lot of people say, well, I don't know if I've ever experienced God. And that's partly because we're thinking like, Jesus has never shown up in my bedroom in person, or I've never seen handwriting on the wall or had a miracle.

You haven't?

No. You have?

Yeah.

My toast was in the shape of Jesus this morning.

Well, let's do a podcast on that. What we're really talking about is just to look back through the course of your life and just say, where are times that something in you just knew God was present? It might have been in a moment of deep pain when you were crying out to God, could have been driving to work and listening to a worship song and just suddenly the sense of his presence and his love. It might have been at a camp experience or a church service. It might have been just in a morning devotion time or on a hike. I mean, just all throughout your life, where were time or place? And usually you're looking for three to five experiences where you say God was present. And then what we want to do is ask the second question. What was God saying to you about you in that experience? Because if you can remember a sense of his presence, I guarantee you that God wasn't just there for his benefit so that you'd know he was there, but he was trying to communicate something to you about you. And so, for example, if you look back at a story of your life and maybe at night you're laying in bed crying out to God and you just sensed his presence and his love, feeling like God was saying that I love you. Well, in the second step, you want to personalize it. If God was communicating to you, I love you, what does that mean about you? Well, that means you are lovable. And that becomes now a personal message connected to an experience. I'm lovable. And then the third step is to look at, how does that connect to a promise in scripture? Because if God has said it to you in this day and age. He's probably been saying it for thousands of years in other days and ages. So we want to take a scripture verse, probably one that we already know and like, and connect it to that memory so that we are using God's word not just in a logical left brain kind of, well, here's some words to quote at temptation, but words that connect to an experience and deepen the meaning of what God has said to us about his love or whatever he revealed. And then the fourth question is just to ask, how does this truth or this experience with God overcome a lie, A limbic lie. Limbic meaning. It's an experience from our past that got stored in our inner brain, and that's what's driving so much of our behavior. And when we've been able to walk through those four questions, which, by the way, this is in the seven pillars of freedom. It's in pillar six, pages 187, 189. So if you're in a seven pillars group and you're not pillar six yet, it's coming. You'll get to go through that. It's also a part of the Conquer series study guide, and it's in Betrayal and Beyond. So in some of the group experiences as you walk through this, but hopefully as you listen to today's podcast, you'll get a little better understanding of what a personal promise is and how to make it a regular part of your life.

You know, Nick, when you were talking about doing this in group, it reminded me of a lot of times when guys will come back and they answer that question, you know, what was God saying to you? And they'll say, well, God says I need to do this, or God says I need to try that. And I'm like, oh, hold on, hold on. And I think one of the things that's so important about. And you said this about the personal promise is about your identity, about who you are, not what you do. Because God should do. Yeah. Or what you shouldn't do. Because God ultimately His word is very clear that he loves us not because of anything we've done, but because we're his creation. We are His. So I think for me, too, it's been really helpful to go back to those and say, no, no, not. Because I get so tied up in the, okay, if this is what God's saying, then this is what I ought to do today, as opposed to saying, if this is what God says about me, then what does that mean? Who am I? And if that's who I am, then I don't have to worry about how am I doing it or what am I. I just need to worry about being who God said I am.

Well, it reiterates one of our points at Pure Desire that sexual addiction is not about sexual. It's about medicating pain. It's about a way of finding the kind of pleasure or joy that God intends to provide for us. And so prophetic or personal promise can take us back to that place of realizing all that I truly need is in God. And as we recognize that, it changes the way we approach our sexual addiction and our struggles in that area.

Yeah, absolutely.

So, guys, as you think about these personal promises, how is this different than willpower? For many men and women that are struggling with an addiction or an unwanted behavior, the idea they have is, I'm going to try harder, I'm going to willpower. I don't want it. So I'm going to just really engage my willpower to not do this anymore. And we've talked in other podcasts about why that's not effective. So how is a personal or prophetic promise different than willpower?

I think for me that it's not just a try harder, do better type of mentality, because for me, when I hear the words willpower, I think of my own ability to bring about change in my life. And the reality is, unless Romans 12:1 and 2, unless my mind has been renewed, my hands will continue to do the same thing. And so I think that it's not just I need to pull myself up from my bootstraps, which far too often, I think, in the lives of Christians becomes the way we bring about change. The change agent in our life ends up falling to us, which never really works out. I don't know about you guys, but when I do that, it doesn't work out. So I think that the personal promise or prophetic promise is really allowing God's word to shape the way I view myself, view him, view my current circumstances, and then let that move my hands, my feet, my heart, and my head in the direction that God's calling me.

You know, I think about some research that was done sort of on the clinical side of this. It backs up biblical truth in that there was a great study done with Kelly McGonigal. She was a part of this project that studied people for a very long period of time and looked at stressors in life and how willpower works and how we overcome adversity. And she actually identified there's three separate willpowers. I willpower I want power and I want power. All three are very valuable. But the one that has the most effectiveness and change is that want power. And the want power relates to our future aspirations and where we see ourselves going in life. And I think that's really well connected to our personal promises. Because if I know who God says I am, then I know where I'm going. I mean, I'm going to have problems today, I'm going to have temptations today, I'm going to do things wrong. I'm going to find myself on the faster scale and need to work off the faster scale, get back to thinking correctly. But all that happens because I'm looking long term at this is who God says I am. And so if this is true about me, then I know that I can reach out to others. I can use the tools that I have in my group, the faster scale, and get to a place where I'm not trying to just suck it up and do a really good job today as a Christian because that's a scary.

Place to be as a believer where your own ability to save yourself or to bring yourself up, you know, which we see in scripture is never supported.

Yeah, well, this is a powerful idea that we can't help but become more like the person we already think we are. And brain research has proved that out that whatever idea or vision you have of yourself, you subconsciously move in that direction. And so if we really can root God's promises to us, about us into our thinking, we're going to move in his direction. And so that's where that I want power that you're mentioning, Brian, is so important because it's agreeing with God that I'm becoming more like the person I already think I am because that's who God has told me I am. And so now I start to want what God wants. And I think for a lot of people when they think about what God wants, it sounds too good for them or they feel like they can never get there, it's too hard. And that's because we're listening to all these lies and self doubt from our past. But when we can agree with God his promises to us, then we move towards that. I want to that future without even thinking about it because that just becomes our preferred vision of reality.

Yeah. So Nick, you've talked about, you know, finding that place in scripture where that lines up with what God said about us. But what makes it uniquely personal or prophetic in our, in our perspective? What do you guys think?

I think that, you know, research Shows that you say, I think it's a four to five thousand words a minute. You tell yourself. So you're talking to yourself throughout the day. And, you know, I heard a pastor by the name of Paul Tripp say it this way, that you need to stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself. So being more active in that. And I think that what's so cool, and what I really appreciate about this idea of a personal promise is you're taking the words of God about who you are, about his love for you, your relationship with him, and you're letting that speak to you. And then that becomes personal because of the way it affects you. It affects your head, your heart and your hands as you move through life. And so I think that, you know, the prophetic piece is it's God speaking on behalf of God about you and then your life being then dictated by it. And that's where we personally experience the biblical truths that we see.

So it's almost like a shift in your thinking. And I've heard Ted say this too. You know, when you're praying, don't pray in light of your problems. Don't say, oh, God, I have this problem. Help me pray in light of who God says you are. God, you say, I'm this. So this is what I'm believing today. You said this about me. So this is what I'm saying today.

We see in scripture, too, that, you know, God says he changes his mind, but we know that he doesn't actually change his mind. He uses the prayers of someone else to then be a part of that person's growth. So when I'm praying and I'm telling God who he is, who I know he is, what's happening is I'm the one who's changing. God already knows who he is. God already has it all figured out, but I don't. So when I'm allowing these personal promises and what I know to be true about God reshaped the way I think. And I'm hearing myself say it and seeing myself experience, experience it. I am the one who has changed for the better and better, being made more in the image of Christ. Sorry, I got a little preachy on that one.

It was good. I'm glad I asked that question now. I wasn't so sure, but now I'm really happy I asked the question.

Good to know.

Good to know. I ask really good questions.

So let's just talk about this then. So if we know that a person, what a personal promise is, we know that it's Biblically supported. But how would someone apply, like, what does it look like practically to take a piece of scripture and an experience, put them together. And how does, how does it look to apply a personal promise to your life?

Yeah, so we've already talked about Romans 12:1 and 2 a couple times. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And if our mind's going to be renewed, we have to be continually reflecting on and reviewing these promises. So we recommend that they become a part of our daily routine, whether that's first thing in the morning or last thing at night. But, and I really recommend, when I'm in grade with guys, these need to be written down, they need to be clear, and then they need to be accessible. So for a lot of us that means it's on my bed stand or somewhere, you know, in the bathroom, that first thing in the morning I can pick it up. Because if we could spend even a couple of minutes just reviewing a couple of words and the verse that reminds us of that experience of what God said to us and his truth, then that can become the grid through which all our other thoughts during the day have to come. And, and how different is that than on so many other days? If we wake up and we're negative and down and I'm not feeling good, well, then that becomes our grid for the rest of the day. So if we can start with God's truth to us, then we're more likely to stay in that place of not believing lies, but operating out of his truth. So those are my recommendations, that it's in writing. It's simple enough that it's just on like an 8 by 5 card or something like that, that you can see it regularly and then that you review it daily, whether last thing at night or first thing in the morning.

You know, a great place to put it too is on your Pure Desire journal. If you're in a group, you've got that journal. That's where mine go. And you can see over time, usually it's right in the front of my week, I'll put it, you know, if I'm reading scripture and I'm like, wow, this is another great promises God's giving me. And the cool thing is when it's in your journal, you're not fumbling for it. And most of the time when I'm on the faster scale, I'm reflecting on, okay, what has God said about me? Because a lot of how I get back to restoration is defined by who God said I am.

So we've talked a lot in this episode about scripture and these personal promises. And obviously that applies to someone who's in the church having faith in Christ. But what if someone is listening who would not identify themselves as a Christian? Or maybe someone who's listening that has several friends or people in group that they don't think are Christ followers? Can this idea work for them? Is a personal promise apply to someone who's not a believer?

I would say yes. As I mentioned before, I had a lot of. Well, not a lot, but about third of the guys in my group, they'd never attended church in their life. They thought it was like an AA meeting that just happened to be at a church. And what really happened is the people in my group, they would start talking about their struggles at work, and they're like, can get help. Oh, cool. I have that problem, too. I should come. Come there. And so through our group, I can remember giving a couple people Bibles who just didn't have them. And this was actually a place where that started. You know, whether it was a part of our work where we were reading the devotional and some of the later groups I was in, where it's in the journal, that was kind of cool because they're starting to read Scripture. But when we got to the point of looking something up through the homework or referencing something in the Bible, I would tell guys, I said, listen, the Bible is simply God's truth. That's all it is. And so if this is working in your life, and most of them had already started to experience sobriety through biblical truth, then I said, this is just an extension of that truth. Everything that you see in the Bible is true because it's God's word. And the reason that this process works is it's true because it's God's word. We're simply taking what. What clinicians and scientists have seen over a long period of time saying, yep, that matches up. So I think you can. I think it's really important to not make a pure desire a Bible study. But I think it's an excellent opportunity for evangelism because you're going to find people in your group either attend church infrequently or not at all. And they're here because they have a problem that can be solved. And really, you know, that's where Jesus met everybody in his ministry was, where the problem was. Every time he's meeting someone, it's in the middle of their problem.

Well, the vast majority of Americans still believe in a higher power, a God of some kind. So even if you don't identify as a Christian, I find that most people do when they really stop and think about it would say, yeah, there are times I don't know what I'd call it or who it was, but I felt something beyond myself, a definition, power communicating to me. And in that this can become an open door towards them maybe discovering who God is and who Christ is. And so I still encourage non believers to go through the process and try to look for where God was at in their life because I think he's continually trying to communicate to us. And even if someone had, I mean, let's say you've got someone in your group that's got a totally secular mindset, doesn't believe in any kind of faith or God, they might find value in starting. Just to say what was a positive experience from my past where maybe another person, a parent, a coach, a teacher said something to me that really stuck with me about my value and my worth. And for them maybe that's their starting point, is I'm just going to recall that memory that told me I have value because I guarantee they've got negative memories giving them the opposite message. So yes, they can use it. Now it's not going to be near as powerful if it's not rooted in God's truth and in his eternal word to us and his personal all knowing voice. So we would encourage someone to really consider the claims of Christ and what a difference that can make in their life, but it can still work as a tool at least to get them moving in the right direction, even if they don't believe that God is involved in any way.

Well, and the reality is we all have a warped idea of self and so everybody can benefit from more self awareness, more truth about who they are in their identity.

Absolutely. So guys, would you say that in your experience in group these prophetic promises change over time or you add to them or there's some that just don't feel relevant anymore. How do they evolve?

Yeah, for me, I think in every season of life there are certain memories that might mean more. I don't think they necessarily change because these are rooted in experiences we've had and things God spoke to us. So those in that sense, those will remain the same. But what I do think happens a lot is the ideas clarify and they develop. And as we get healthier or maybe come out of some real pain and being stuck in our addiction, we hear things more clearly and we're able to really continue to articulate more and more the ones that we do have. What I do think is that, yes, you can add, because there are moments where you'll look back and something will trigger you remember, like, wow, that was so cool, and God was there. And when you have those moments saying, well, what was God saying to me about me? Where might there be a promise in here that I've missed? And so you can add to it. And I think for practical purposes, to have four or five at most that you're reviewing is probably best. So if you keep remembering things or adding to them, you might just say, well, for this season of life, for right now, which are the ones that are most important to me? And put those at the top. But I would certainly encourage people to keep track of any experience they have where they say, this was God, here's what he was saying, because that's a cool list. But in terms of really their daily renewing of the mind, what are the four or five that are speaking to them the most right now?

And I would agree with Nick that it should be a depth of understanding that continues to grow. And you know, I think that that's supported by Scripture in the sense that we are always told to continue to grow and develop. You know, Christ didn't tell us to go make disciples just so we could teach other people, but also that we could be discipled and we could grow in our. In our growth towards more Christ likeness. And so I think that they should develop and they should grow in depth. And if they don't, then, you know, that maybe is another conversation to have, like, am I actually reading Scripture? Am I understanding Scripture? Am I growing in my knowledge and relationship with Christ? Because if you do, then these are going to continue to grow and in depth and development for sure.

That's cool.

Cool. So how do these. Because, you know, pure desire, we do a lot of things with neurochemistry. So the way that the brain functions and works and the role it has in really every facet of our life. I don't know if you guys know this, but if your brain's not functioning, you're not functioning. So.

Deep stuff, man.

I did a lot of coffee. Yeah. In our. In our pre production meeting, I did a lot of work. So guys, how do personal promises, how do they connect to our brains?

For me, this is one of the coolest things I feel that pure desire does, is really making this connection between God's truth and what's going on in our brains. Because what we've been talking about with these experiences from our past, these negative messages, they are all Stored in what we call the inner brain or the limbic brain. And that part of us is what's responsible for those fight, flight or freeze responses. And this is a part of God's brilliant design and creation of us. I mean, if you think about how, you know, if we were living in primitive times as a three year old, we have a terrifying experience with a saber tooth tiger and we run for our lives. Well, that memory is stored in our limbic brain. So that next time, without even thinking or needing to go through a logical process of what to do, we're triggered and responding in ways far beyond what we could do cognitively. So that at 40, if we experienced a saber toothed tiger, we wouldn't have to go, huh, is this dangerous? What should I do? I can't remember that we're being triggered. So that's God's brilliant design. But what happens is in negative experiences in our life, they can get stored in that part of our brain that doesn't tell time. So time does not heal all wounds. And that limbic response continues to trigger us today where we're tending to fight or flight or freeze. And most often sexual addiction is some kind of response of dealing with our anger, which is a fight response, or trying to remove ourselves from a stressful situation, the flight response or, or just feel paralyzed and we're frozen. And so if those limbic memories are stored there and don't just heal over time, the challenge is that the positive experiences we've had in our life were not traumatic and were not needed for survival. So our brain didn't store them in the same timeless way. And that's why we have to do work to call them to mind, to remember them and to let those experiences that are a right brain, you know, kind of that story, emotion side of us connect with those negative emotions, story experiences. So it's really kind of fighting the battle where the battle is at. And that's, I think what we've missed in the church is we have these negative experiences that are all right brain. Their story, their experience, their memory, their emotion. And then we preach at it. And preaching is awesome, but it's all left brain, it's logic, it's word.

This is coming from a pastor.

Yeah, I did a lot of this. So we expect a left brain logical message to overcome the power of a right brain story, emotional experience. And that's why it doesn't work. There's just this disconnect. So the personal promises are taking the word of God and the reasoning, that's all Solid. And attaching it to emotion and memory and experience in the right brain so that we can have victory. And I think when you recognize how the brain works and how important that is, it just starts to open us up to say, wow, God knows how our brain works.

He.

He made it. And if we would allow these experiences to connect to our emotion the way the negative ones have, then we really start to see victory.

You know, when you're saying that, Nick, about the limbic system. And I think about the previous question about their seasons that we go through and we talk about an addiction, there's, like, these layers. Like, you might have come to group to deal with sexual addiction. But when that comes off, then I've got an anger issue, or I've got a problem with food, or I've got. It's interesting to me that when I look back at how my personal promises have sort of entered my life in my devotional time, a lot of it is right around, you know, what is the lie that I'm currently trying to overcome? Because I got this other one off. You know, I realized that, like, for me, in workaholism, I realized that, okay, I'm valuable, even if I'm not working like a crazy person. Or if people don't see what I do at work, or they just know me, I'm valuable for that. Well, now I can't figure out why my eating behavior is this way. And so then I have to work through a whole nother set of lies. But each one of these promises that God gives us is another unique way that's specific to me on how to pull that lie out of my limbic system. It is very cool.

What's so cool about all this is that, you know, because I come from a background where knowledge about God equals maturity. And the reality is that's not true. I can know. I can know everything about God, but unless it touches my heart, nothing's gonna change. And so being able to really come to the understanding that God created both sides of your brain, both the thinking and experiencing sides, and he knew what he was doing, that you have to have experience tied to the truth that he has. And, you know, in his sovereignty and providence, he set it up to be that way. So for anybody out there who maybe is listening, who feels the same way I do, you know, don't. Don't run away from the experience. Because God has built us to experience his truth practically day to day.

So I guess to kind of bring this all full circle, maybe we can talk about some good examples of personal promises. I'm sure as our listeners are thinking, they're thinking, oh yeah, this verse might be good. Or this. And maybe we can just kind of go around and like explain other than the Ten Commandments, of course, which don't use those for personal promises. That's more what you shouldn't do, not who you are. What are some things that you guys have found that are. That are really impactful in your life?

I would just tell a quick story from my life. When I was 7 or 8 years old at a missions conference at our church. We watched this film of people in a country that were far from Jesus. And I remember something in my heart that day just broke open and I find myself weeping, although I was very embarrassed about it. You know, the movie ends and I'm hoping none of my friends noticed. And I hadn't thought of that moment a whole lot until I went through a pure desire group. And when I looked back the promise or what I heard God saying to me, because it really was a divine moment that I could clearly remember the church and the setting and how I felt and the movie and the song, I heard God say to me, I made you to care. I made you that way. Because I'd always seen like being emotional or crying as a very of negative thing for a guy. And so that idea that God had made me to have a heart, compassion for others was kind of a cool moment. And then I attached it to a verse out of First Peter where it says, you are not like that. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, a royal priesthood, a people belonging to God. And this is so that you can call people out of darkness into his wonderful light. That's the Nick Stumbo translation, by the way. I just have remembered it in a personal way. But. But that was the verse that said I made you to care so that you're a part of calling people into light. And that's an identity thing. That's who I am. That's not a weakness, that's God's design in my life. And the limbic lie that overcomes is a sense that what I have to say isn't valuable or being listened to. And some of that comes from my past. And being in a family where all the kids were close in age and mom and dad both had to work and life was stressful and just feeling like the only way I got noticed was if I acted up or acted out, so either did something wrong or performed really well. And so it kind of gave me this lie that I'm only valuable when I do those things. Otherwise, I'm not important. My words don't matter. So to believe that, no, God made me to care. God made me to call people to him, gives me the courage to do a lot of the things I do. So that's one of my promises that I just took much longer explaining it. What I've written out is two sentences that remind me of that story and the verse. And then it brings all that back to mind each day to build on.

Yeah, my two that really come to mind and stick out, you know, one of them. A couple years ago, I was at a young life camp, and the gospel had just been preached. And we went outside and the goal was to be as quiet as you could and just sit listening to God. And I'm not kidding as we went outside. And I'd never seen it before, but sheet lightning was happening in the sky outside. And it's this beautiful. Looks like, you know, people are taking pictures in the clouds and you can't even hear what's going on. And I remember at that moment was the first moment I felt like I am so insignificant and small compared to God. Like, I just. I felt it. I heard him basically saying to me, look at how big and powerful I am, that I made this stuff happen. And for me, you know, the scripture that connects to that for me. And I think it's important to say I don't just go searching for a scripture to fit my experience. I take my experience and filter it through what scripture says. But in Job, you know, it's 38 or 39, where God says to Job, where were you when I did this stuff? Like, where were you when I was creating you, when I was creating the universe? And God's showing how powerful he is and putting Job in his place. And not. Not just to be all powerful and like a tyrant in the sky, but to show Job, like, I got it under control, buddy. Like, I'm, you know, I know what I'm doing. So for me, that's one of them. And then the most recent and probably the most powerful one was. My son was born eight months ago. And I remember the second he was born, I just. Tears, you know, coming down my face. And within five seconds of him being born, I heard God. Not, like, audibly, but I heard God say to me, that's how I feel about you. This kid, all he's done is poop and cry within 10 seconds. And I already love him more than anything else. I can explain, you know, I can't put it into words, you know, and there's. There's so many passages of Scripture and like Isaiah, you know, where he talks about, you know, God being our father and he's the potter and we're the clay, and then, you know, psalms that he put me together in my mom's womb. It just. It's one of those things where I felt God say, that's exactly how I feel about you. You are my son. And that has been the most impactful one. So those are just a couple personal ones for me.

Very cool.

Brian, you got any?

You know, I was reading through this is probably about three years ago, the book of John. And in John 15, I came across and verse 13, where God's describing how we relate to each other, and he says that there's no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend. And it really. It's an odd verse at first when I think about that, but I don't think there's anything that ever explains sort of like the most clear time God talked to me. And it was at the lowest point in my life. I'd been running an organization for a number of years and had been in industry for about 17 years. It was all I was kind of living for. And I found myself feeling unbelievably empty and couldn't figure out why, because, like, every goal that I put, you know, down on, my career goals and life goals, like, checked it, got it done, did that, you know, been there, done that, and it was unbelievably empty. And I realized in that moment and looking back and reading that scripture that God created me and the gifts that I have not so that I could achieve a ton of things or people would respect who I am or think I'm really smart. But God gave me that. That gifting, a lot of my gifting at work and in life isn't supporting others. And he gave me that gifting because that's how I show love to others. And so that's how I feel love, too. And that I can recognize. I mean, I don't think that's really a. Like a martyr's, you know, prayer that I'm going to lay down my life. But it's in that exchange that I understand who I am. I'm. I'm valued simply because I'm a part of a community of believers and people who love and care about me.

That's great.

Yeah.

So we just encourage listeners who are out there to take an experience they've had with God and filter it through scripture and find a personal promise that that really is going to change the way they live their lives and to use it on their way to recovery. So guys, thanks for this conversation. It was great. I benefited from it. So I hope anybody else listening may benefit from it too.

It was good. Yeah.

Thanks Trevor, and thank you for listening to the Pure Desire Podcast. If you like what you're hearing and want to keep up with the podcast, please subscribe and check out our website, PureDesire.org also, you can follow us on social media EaredesirePDMI. Once again, that's Earedesire PDMI. We'll see. See you next time. Thanks for listening to the Pure Desire Podcast. For more information, check out our website www.puredesire.org. check in each week for new content on the podcast and we pray that it will help you find hope and freedom on your journey. To purchase SA.