062 – Bringing Hope & Freedom

Welcome to the Pure Desire podcast, where we partner with you to bring hope and freedom on your journey to purity.

Hey, guys, this is Dr. Ted Roberts. I hope you'll join me on September 15th at Good Shepherd Community Church for a Pure Desire men's conference, a time where you can pursue a life of integrity, strength, and leave a legacy of real significance. Learn to really kick the enemy's tail. If you're Interested, go to PureDesire.org events. Enjoy the podcast.

Hey there.

I'm your host, Trevor Windsor, and we're so thankful you're taking time out of your day to hang out with us today. We have a special treat for you. Today's episode will be a message from our advancement specialist and pastor, Rodney Wright. This is a recent message from Rodney titled Bringing hope and Freedom.

Sometimes, how many know that the message or the conversation of sexuality is not an easy conversation to always have, let alone to have it on a Sunday morning with a whole congregation. And so I don't want to do this. So Ryan's going to come up and finish the message right now. So, Ryan, would you. He's not moving. Okay. He's giving me the signal to go ahead with us. Okay. So I just want to start by really helping us flip the script, if I could use that term, that church would be. Our faith communities would actually be one of the healthiest places, places in the world where we can participate in the life of God. This God the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, the Father that you have up on the walls here. This triune being, one God, one being in three persons. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. This is what orthodox Christianity has always believed, that what's most true about God is their relationship. And how many. You know that when relationships are going well, it's heaven on earth. And when relationships aren't going well, it can be a little hell on earth. Right? And many times we're hurt and wounded in relationships, and we find healing in relationships because it's what's most true about all of us in this room and all humanity. The need for intimate, honest relationships where we can know and be known. And we live in a culture, unfortunately, that has confused that to where we have mistaken that intimate or having intimate relationships. We've sexualized it in our culture. So our children grow up in a culture where they feel like being intimate, male or female. It has to do with sexuality. It really has to do with knowing and being known. This is the heart of God. And sexuality is a wonderful gift. And we're going to Talk about that here. But Genesis, chapter 1, verses 26 and 27, the announcement of this text, the narrative of the creation story that we read is when God says, let us make man in our image. And then he goes on to say that God created man in their image, male and female. He made them. That we see here the triune God. Let us make man in our image. It's the beauty of God that I love, that God is a creator and God creates, and then male and female, God invites us to participate in that creation. Why? Because we are made in the image and the likeness of God and our maleness and femaleness both derive from God. So we see that God transcends what we would known as gender, that God is spirit. And yet we are both made in God's image. Man and woman, women. And can you imagine what that creation must have been like right when. When we were made in the image of God? Sometimes I like to say it this way. Had God made Eve first and not made Adam first, had God made Eve first, God, the Trinity would have stepped back and probably said, I think we should stop right here. I don't think we can get any better than this. But that's not how the creation story went. God first made Adam, and God stepped back and said, hey, I think we can do way better than this. Any women power in the room here today? So God made Eve, right? Some theologians believe had Eve been created first, us guys would have never been created. God would have stopped there. But that's not true. So if you ever wonder what God is like, what's the image of God like, just look at the person sitting next to you right now on your left and your right. That's exactly what God is like. Because every person in this room is made in the image and likeness of God. We were made for open, honest, intimate relationships. We were made in their image. We were made to experience great joy. And when God created Adam and Eve, it was no mistake. When God created them, then he said it was good. And that not only our humanity, but that God created us as sexual beings in their image. The ability to be mutually indwelling. This is where we get the, you know, intercourse. Mutually indwelling without losing their distinctiveness. This is where the scripture says, and a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. The Trinity is that way. Father, Son and spirit, they are mutually indwelling without losing their distinctiveness. One God in relationship. And orthodox Christianity would say they could never be separated. This is the beauty of God. And we are made in their image. It's amazing when you think about it, that God has such a high view of humanity, that God actually became one of us in Jesus. And the apostle Paul says that in him, in Jesus, that he's the visible image of the invisible God and the fullness of. Of the Godhead dwells in him, Right? So at least I have one amen in the back there, brother. Thank you so much. But the fullness of the Godhead dwelt in Jesus, right? This is the beauty of how we were created and the creation story, that we're made in the image of God. And so it's such a gift. And our humanity is a good gift. In fact, our sexuality is a good gift because that came from the very heart of God. I believe God gave us sexuality for three reasons. For pleasure. And first, I just want to say thank you for that. Right on my kind of God. For pleasure, for bonding. And we were meant to bond to a human being in the covenant of marriage, male and female, and for procreation. This is the gift, I believe why God has given us our human sexuality. And our sexuality is a normal part of our birth. You know, when a young boy is born just in the first five minutes, that little baby boy has the ability to have an erection the first five minutes. And it's of its life. Now some of you women are saying, well, that explains a lot right there. It's not that the boy is a pervert, it's how God made them. A little baby girl can vaginally lubricate in the first 24 hours of her birth. That's how God made us. We are made in the image of God. And our sexuality is such a good gift. And I believe one of the passions that my wife and I have is that as we raise children, we're to help them see that their body is good, that their sexuality is good, male and female, and that our sexuality is way more than an act. It's how we are as human beings. And having that healthy, safe conversation about what's good and healthy creates a wonderful platform to raise your kids in. So when they see what's dysfunctional about our world, and we'll talk a little bit about that here in the pornography. And really this pandemic issue that is just going after our kids and grandkids like crazy, where the average age that a kid is exposed, the average age is when they're in fifth grade. It's tragic. On their iPhones in that we see how it affects the brain. And the biggest users of pornography are our 12 to 17 year olds in our country. And this issue is an issue within church and without of Church, where 60% of men in our congregation struggle with some form of sexual addiction. And the women's statistics are rising as well. And the clergy is not. They're susceptible to this as well. And if we have cultures of shame where we can't talk about our sexuality, this is where it just all goes underground. And then dysfunction happens and we come to church and we look good on the outside, but we're not real healthy. You know, when Tracy and I had our children, my daughter Whitney just got married last weekend. I've been crying for four days. It's just nice to be in a dry place actually here today. I cried on Thursday. Her wedding was on Saturday. I cried at the Star Spangled Banner on the radio. I mean, that's really. I need a support group, actually. I was a wreck. I was a beautiful wreck because I really love that girl. When she was born, I remember there in Salem, Oregon, when she was born and I held her, I realized this intrinsic love that was in my heart. I just met her seconds ago, minutes ago, and I would die for her like that. Where does that come from? How can an earthly father want to give his life right here, right now, so this little girl can continue living? You know where that love comes, it comes from God. Because we're made in the image and character of God. It's other centered self giving love. And I like to say, when Whitney was born, I said, honey, I'm all in. I didn't literally do this, but figuratively, I laid my checkbook on her chest and as I said at her wedding, she's been writing checks ever since, right? Because I was all in. That's the kind of love that God has for humanity, that this God would rather die than live without you and us. Because it's the heart of God. So as we raised our kids, we had conversations about sexuality. And as they learned about their ears and their nose and their hair and their teeth, we also taught our little boys about their parts, their genitals. And we would say, this is your penis and this is your scrotum and testicles. And our daughter, we would say, this is the vagina. We would have all those terms. And I know some of you are thinking, did I just hear those words from our platform? They're not evil or bad. They're just anatomy. Are you with me? And giving them proper terms and proper language is so crucial. That we have these kind of conversations. I remember when I was putting one of my sons to bed one night, and he said to me, daddy, how come my penis gets hard? Now, I gotta tell you, he was 5, and I wasn't quite ready for that question to come at the time. And I remember thinking to himself, myself, well, the reason why is because that's how God made you. So his first question about human sexuality was to his father. And the answer that he got was, that's how God made you and designed your body. And then I said, and that happens to your father, too. And it happens to every man. Now, when he was five, I was still cool. I'm not cool when he was 15, but when he was 5, I was still cool. And then I said, in the morning, when you wake up, it just means you have to go to the bathroom. And he said, okay, dad. And he was right on to Buzz Lightyear and right onto a whole nother subject. And I went down and I said to my wife, I just had the coolest conversation with our son because he was asking a question, and instead of getting shamed or getting belittled, he was invited into a dialogue about what's good and normal about his sexuality. I believe this is so crucial. That same little boy asked me another question one day in the back of a red minivan when he was sitting back there with his sister and my wife was asleep. We were coming back from the Oregon coast, and he said to me, dad, is it true that babies come out of mom's vagina? Now, again, our kids ask great questions. And I said to him, yep, that's exactly how God made it. And of course, my wife, she's wide awake now because the language has changed in the van. And I said, yep, that's exactly how God made it. And when mothers have babies, it's very, very painful. It's beautiful, but it's very, very painful. And all of a sudden, his sister, sitting next to him, older, said, see, I told you. Cause she had had a conversation with her mom about how babies are born, right? And see, I told you. And I said to my son, as he's looking at me, you know, it's an amazing thing when mom and dads marry and they have children and these babies come, but it really, really hurts. And honestly, son, I'm really glad God made me a boy. And his eyes got bigger saucers. And he said, me, too, dad. And then he looked at his sister and said, sorry about that, Whitney. Like, someday you're gonna have to have all this pain. And my dad just said, you know, and dad doesn't lie. And so in our little red minivan that day, we just kind of clicked forward and it became a safe place for kids to have questions and ask about their humanity and what was good. And we do a parent training. Maybe someday we can come back and do it here about age appropriate conversations to help our kids. And I wish I could stand here and tell you I've always done it right, but I really haven't. Because when I grew up as a young man, I had a lot of shame connected to my sexuality, being exposed to pornography as a young man. And it became one of those secrets that I really couldn't talk about. In our conservative home and in our church, we just didn't really have those. Back in the 80s, we didn't have a lot of those open dialogues and conversations. Thank God I had my brother, who was 20 months older, that I would begin to confess to. And I would say, ryan, this is a real issue for me and I need help with this. And he would pray for me and encourage me and give me scriptures. And he actually became a lifeline to me or I would have probably gone deeper off that edge. And then I realized that confession alone didn't transform my life because I was an expert at confessing. In fact, if any of you want to learn about confession, come see me afterwards. I've been doing it for a long time. So here's what I thought. Well, if I get married, then marriage will change this issue. How many know marriage doesn't change us. It just reveals more of what it finds. Hear me today. This is why I say I love the young people in the room. Your health is the best gift you can give to your spouse. And your health, your personal health, about how you manage this area of your life, is such a gift and it's such an issue. And we want to begin to lower shame and learn how you can become in a safe place where you can actually find transformation. Because what we realize in sexual addiction, although it has moral implications, of course, it really becomes a brain issue as much as a moral issue. In other words, your brain, the neuroscience that they're studying, it becomes in this addictive limbic loop and a limbic pattern where alone you're not going to be able to break it. And so for me, once I was married, I realized this problem isn't changing. And so I remember saying, well, I must not be confessing to the right people. So I thought, I need to confess to my father now. My father I wish he were here today. He's one of my best friends, a 90 year old. His name's Joe Wright. My father is a cross between. How would I explain him? My father's a cross between Billy Graham and Ronald Reagan. That's my dad. So just think of that. In fact, when I was growing up as a kid, I wasn't sure my dad ever made a mistake. In fact, I said to my mom when I was a teenager, has dad ever sinned? Can you imagine a kid asking that question? To which my mom said, oh, I assure you your father has sinned. I thought to myself, well, I just want to make sure. Am I adopted or what's happening here? Because I'm really struggling. I remember confessing to my father as a young man in my 20s. And I found him to be such a man of grace and truth and did the best he could to offer me help. But here's what I discovered. That confession alone, and I was being as honest as I knew at the time, wasn't bringing transformation in my life. I was in a service just like this on a Sunday night. And I had said to God, God, could you lead me to people and resources that could bring healing in my life. Because people are praying for me and all my best intentions and trying to be as honest as I can isn't leading me to transformation. And I was sitting on the front row and there was a guy playing the drums. And I felt the spirit prompt me and say, rodney, that guy playing the drums is going to lead you to healing and wholeness. And I thought to myself, well, I'm not gonna go see that guy. Cause he's a sexual trauma assessment treatment therapist in our community. I'm having this internal dialogue in my mind and God, if I go to him, that means I messed up. And I heard God say, yep, that's exactly what it means. I remember going into his office and saying, here's my story. And I remember starting this relationship. It was actually a three year journey of really leading me to transformation. Of really not just looking at the symptoms, which all addictions are typically the symptom. That's the symptom. That's the behavior we're using to cope typically with something underneath. Typically a trauma, a big T trauma or a small T trauma in our life that we don't know how to grieve and process very well. And that we need safe people and safe places. And most of the time our addictions are intimacy disorders because we don't know how to be real and be honest. With our negative feelings and some of the challenges going on in our life. And it created this process of getting to my core beliefs and learning how to retrain my brain. Now, in scripture, there's a word for that. It's called repentance. It's metanoia in the Greek. I used to think as a young man, repentance mean coming down to an altar and telling God how sorry I was. And if I was sorry enough and I met the sorry o meter, I would tip God's bucket of grace and he would have a little bit of forgiveness for me. But what I've realized is that the heart and grace of God, God has always been forgiving. This is the character and nature of God. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. Aren't you grateful for that? In fact, it's why they murdered Jesus on a cross, because he was forgiving people's sins even before he died. Say Rod, how could he do that? Because that's the character and nature of God. And on the cross, Jesus not only proclaimed forgiveness as we were murdering him, because that's what comes out of the core of God is forgiveness. But God also was now absorbing sin and death in order to conquer it from the inside out for all of us so that we could participate in their very life, other centered, self giving. So that started a whole journey for me and I found sobriety decades ago. But I really couldn't share my story because there was so much shame around my story. I was a young minister, I had gone through counseling and we just didn't get up. There wasn't a lot. People weren't rushing the stage to share about their negative sexual history. There wasn't a big line up there. It was Rodney. We're glad what God's done, but don't feel like you have to say anything to anybody. About five years ago, serving in this congregation, I would share with people in my office or people I felt safe. I would share my story. And we came across this ministry, pure desire. Dr. Ted Roberts and Diane are our founders. They've done such great work. They are way before their time in my book, and we're standing on their shoulders. Nick Stumbo is our executive director. But Pure Desire has taken a holistic approach to look at the neuroscience of the brain. They look at the traumas on our life and they look at what we would typically call spiritual answers, like reading and prayer and group work and honesty, where you can begin to do those tools that heal your brain. But the reality is all three of these are Spiritual. We can't dissect our spirituality. It's all holistic in our how we see God's working in our lives. And I feel, I felt that same prompting of the Spirit to say, rodney, would you participate now sharing your story with the congregation and helping start groups? So we did that about five years ago. I led our first Seven Pillars men's group. I shared all my negative sexual history and I was leading the way in authenticity for the sake of men and women and ultimately for the sake of kids and grandkids, maybe not even on this planet that we could show them a better way to live. In our congregation alone, we've seen over 200 people get in our year long groups, men and women. We've stood there in tears and seen marriages restored. We've watched lives be healed and transformed. And now the younger generation is reaping from the seeds that adults have sown. Isn't that amazing? Because church has become a safe place where people can be real and honest and find healing. I don't know how you perceive the gospel or the teachings of Jesus, but he didn't come from heaven to sell hell insurance. He's not a great salesman selling a product. This is the God, Trinity, Father, Son and Spirit that created you and I because they want to share their very life with us. This is the prayer Jesus prayed in John 17. Father, as I am in you and you are in me, may they be in us. And as we participate in the life of God, as we are transformed by God, that we begin to experience that love right here, right now, that transforms us. I would propose there's too many of us currently living in hell and Jesus came to help us here and now to bring eternal life. In John 17:3, this is eternal life that you would know the Father and his Son. It's in relationships that we heal. So this is beautiful. Well, it's not only the issue in our culture, but sexual brokenness has been a cultural issue all through time. We see that Jesus faced this in his issue. Two stories I would bring to you. The first one is in John chapter 8. We typically call this the woman caught in adultery. I've retitled this story the man who Missed His Healing. Because the woman wasn't caught alone in adultery, she was caught with another man. Those Pharisees, they left their buddy there. They should have grabbed him and brought him to Jesus too. Jesus would have healed him as well, but they didn't. Just when you think you have friends. And so Jesus is teaching like I am now. The woman was brought up forth. And the Pharisees tried to trap him in John, chapter eight. You can read it there. And Jesus begins to write in the sand. And what about the law of Moses? It says, stone her. What do you say? It's fascinating how the law said this, but Jesus came not to diminish the law, but to fulfill it. And then to offer us something better than law, which is grace that can transform us. And the woman in her shame and her sense of brokenness. And Jesus writes in the sand and then says to her, woman, where are those who condemn you? Neither do I think about that. That Jesus said, if you've seen me, you've seen the Father. The Father and I are one. And Jesus is saying to her, I have not come to condemn you. It's one of my favorite texts, John 3:17. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but that through him the world might be saved. In other words, Jesus didn't come to point the finger and tell us how bad we were. Jesus came to extend the hand and show us a better way. And Jesus said, where are those who condemn you? Neither do I. Now go and sin no more. He was first speaking to her worth and value. Then he secondly spoke to her behavior. And this is the journey that I've been on, and so many through the pure desire. One of the core beliefs that we help people deal with, first of all, is their belief about themselves, about God and about others, to see our own worth and value, that when God made you, you're not worthless. You actually have such a great worth. In fact, God has such a high view of humanity that God became one of us. That's how high a view God has of you, that God would become us. So someday, as Jesus said that he who knew no sin became sin, that we might become the righteousness of God, that we could actually share in their very being being restored back to the image in which we were originally created. And Jesus here is offering hope and healing to this lady. And there's another story in John, chapter four, another one of my favorite stories, where Jesus said, I must go by Sychar, this Samaritan city, where he goes to this well, and he meets this woman at the well at noon. And Jesus asked her for a drink. And she has this dialogue with Jesus. And then Jesus says this line, well, if you knew who were asking you for a drink, you would ask me for living water. Some theologians believe that she could have perceived Jesus as a pickup line, right. Of all the lines ever used in all the bars throughout the world. If you knew who was giving you a drink, you would ask me for living water. This wasn't Jesus motives, but the perception of this woman at a well at this hour. And he was a Jew, and she being a Samaritan. And yet Jesus was breaking all kinds of barriers in this story. He was breaking religious barriers, cultural barriers. He was breaking barriers with men and women because women were devalued in that culture. And Jesus is lifting their worth and value. The Samaritans were the enemies. They were the other team, the other guys. They were the other country, the other nation that you don't like. They were the bad guys. And yet Jesus is bringing hope and healing to everyone, and he's offering hope. And then Jesus asked her about her life, and he finally gets to the point where he says to her, I know you're not married. You've had five husbands, though. And the implication was that the one she was with actually wasn't her husband at the time. So whether she was a sex addict or she was a relationship addict, you could tell her pattern of cycle was happening in her life. And she has this encounter with Jesus, and then she goes back to her city and she says, hey, you gotta come and meet this messiah that I met. He knows everything about us. And all we get the recording is that Jesus just talked about her negative sexual history, right? Imagine that being such good news. I run into town and say, hey, I went to this church at Dear Flats, and they know all about my negative sexual history. This is great. You gotta come, right? They say, hey, no, thanks, Rod, but go for it. If that works for you, go for it. There was something intrinsic about Jesus where she felt loved, she felt safe. She knew that he was not trying to hurt her or use her, but actually trying to love and bring healing to her. That this living water was something way more than just what she was experiencing. It had the power to transform her life. And we read in the scripture that the whole city was impacted by this woman's testimony. We don't read this in Scripture, but church history tells us that the woman at the well, the Samaritan woman, was known as Saint Fatina. And that she actually became one of the first missionaries to the Samaritan people. And history would tell us that she died a martyr's death at the hand of Nero and her sons along with her. And she would not renounce her faith in Jesus. You know why? Because that day at the well, she met the living water. She met a God that was for her and loved her and worked through all of the shame of her brokenness and her hurt and reached in there to heal her very soul. And she found a new way of living, a new way of coping. There were transformation. And I proclaim today here that may this building and this 13 acres and this historic church that's like 7,032 years old or however you old, you know, over 100 years here. Right? I mean this place has been on this ground for a long time. May you continue to be a beacon of hope and healing for this community that people know. It's a safe place to be honest and to be real and to find healing and wholeness and statistics again would tell us that those of us right here in the sound of our voice struggle today. I know I sure did. And I wish that church could have been a safe place back in the 80s where it was okay to talk and be real and be honest. And I wish sometimes we would turn our chairs instead of facing the front, that we would turn face to face. This is the beauty of groups where we share our lives. It's relationships that we were made for and healing communities. Luke 19:10 Words of Jesus for I, the Son of man, have come to seek and save that which was lost. Again, John 17 or John 3:17. I didn't come to condemn the world, but that through him the world might be saved. The word saved in those two scriptures is the word sozo in the Greek and it means to make us whole and to bring healing. This is the good news of the gospel. Jesus has come to help right here and right now and he can do it. And this is a church that so believes in your health and your well being. And I mean you guys, I don't know if you, you guys are out in the middle of nowhere here and look at all these people that are coming here. There's life happening here. And I'm grateful for Ernie and all the pastors here that say we want to create a safe place where people can take off their ma and not live in shame and get healing. Isn't that this is beautiful. This is the way of God. This is what God intended to be. And sometimes when our churches aren't full of grace and truth, it's not permission to do whatever you want, it's grace that changes your want to. Right? I tell people I love pastoring in Coeur d' Alene because in Coeur d' Alene you can commit whatever sin you want and be the pastor. Their eyes get the biggest saucers and they go Rod, you're kidding me. And I go, but the good news is I don't want to. It's not about resisting evil. It's about the transformation of the heart. It's about God actually wanting to give us his desires and that we would partake in their very life and that we would live other centered, self giving lives and we would have other's best interests. And this is what I found, is the beauty of the gospel. It transforms us from the inside out so that the way of Jesus, as he said, isn't burdensome or heavy, but his yoke is easy and his burden is light and we can follow his way. But shame. A legalistic culture. You know, in some legalistic churches it's culturally unacceptable to have problems because they're going to call you a sinner. So you go to church and you smile and you put on your best, I don't know, here, you know, shorts or it used to be suits, but you know what I'm saying, you put on your best and you smile and you act like you have no problems because otherwise you'd be known as a sinner. Well, you know, if you go to a good AA group and it's culturally unacceptable to act like you're perfect, because in a good AA group, if you act perfect, guess what they call that? Denial. Right? That's why they start their programs with admitting, hey, I'm Rodney and I need help. That's what they do sometimes in churches. People come in and they look really good, but they're actually getting worse under the surface. And in a good AA group, people actually come in and they look pretty bad, but they eventually get better because it's a safe place. And I'm not saying Deer Flats is this way. In fact, I don't think it's this way. I think it's the opposite of this. But because of some legalistic churches, many people within Christianity have had to find their healing outside of the church because it wasn't a safe place. Even AA started in the basement of a church, but we didn't want those people here. But what if we became a safe place where people could find healing? And not just men and women with addiction. But what about those of us that have been hurt from people's addiction that we didn't even, we didn't even commit an act that hurts someone else we're the victim of maybe through abuse or through rape or through an unwanted abortion or just fill in the blank. We were the ones that got hurt and got damaged and it set the trauma in our life, but we could never talk about it because we never had a safe place to do it. I'm not suggesting that everybody grabs the mic and comes up here, but it is beautiful when you get in a committed confidential group and you can take your mask off and you can begin to share your story. In recovery, we say you're as sick as your secrets. And I have found this to be true. Not only sobriety, but emotional healing where there is no secrets and you can live free and you can help other people. So I want to end with this story. It's a story of a friend of mine named ron. His mother, 88 years old. This happened a few years ago. I think she is deceased now. When Ron was just about a year old, his father went off to the war here in our country. And while the father was gone, the mother with the young boy, she got engaged in another relationship and she became pregnant of another man that was not her husband. She wrote a letter to her husband at war and said, I am pregnant. And here's the individual this happened with. And I just felt like I needed to let you know. She didn't feel like she could share it with anybody else. He writes a letter back and says, here's the deal. When I come home, you need to either go and have that baby and give it away, or if you choose to keep that child, then our relationship is over and I'm going to divorce you. So not wanting to abort the child, she actually left town and she moved to a completely different state. I think it was the state of Iowa. She lived in this town and she had this young child in her early 20s. She gave birth to the child nobody knew in her family. She gave it up to adoption. They just thought she was on a whim, going off somewhere. And then she came back to town with her little boy and he never knew about it whatsoever. And now 60 some years go by and it's been her secret and she's had a lot of shame from this secret. She gets a phone call in her 80s and on the phone it's this man who says, hi, my name is so. And so is this. And he mentioned her name. And by any chance, did you happen to live in Iowa back in this date? Yeah. Did you happen to live actually in this city and did you give birth to a young boy on this day in this city, in this hospital? She said, I did. He said, I'm that young boy who's now in his 60s. She's crying and he says, I'd love to meet you and just thank you for giving me life because I've had a great life and I have a whole family and I just been wanting to meet you. So she hangs up the phone and she's flooded with shame. Her other son, Ron, knows nothing about this child whatsoever. She picks up the phone, he's a minister, and says, ron, can you come? Can you come? And he's like, mom, do I need to call 911? What's wrong? He says, just come, just come. And so he comes and says, mom, are you okay? And she's frantic and she's sobbing and she says, ron, do you love me? And he says, mom, you know I love you. What do you mean, do I love you? Of course I love you. She said, no, no, no. Do you really love me? Yes. She says, I got to tell you this story. And she told him the whole story. Of course, he was shocked. He had no idea. And then she made this statement, ron, do you think they'll let me attend church on Sunday because of this? And Ron then began to cry and began to realize that his mom, in her late 80s, had lived her whole life with this shame and this secret. And the thought was, if people really knew me, that they wouldn't really love and accept me. They would actually reject me for the mistakes that I've made. And I'm here to tell you that. Ron said to his mother, oh, no, mom, thank God. It's a different place than it was years ago. For now, people are finding healing for their brokenness and hurt. And that day, the script began to be flipped and she realized that it's safe. But the sad part of that story to me is she carried shame for 60 plus years. We all go through pain and loss and traumas in life, and I believe that acute grief can last one to two years. I've spent the last 20 years of my life doing grief work in our community with the elderly and aging and dying and diseased. And this issue and carryover grief can last three to five years. But I'm here to pronounce today that unresolved issues of loss can turn into shame and they can last a lifetime. And Christ has come to heal us right here and right now. And this is what I love about the pure desire groups. This is what I love about a safe place that you can come and you can share. And some of us in this room, maybe we're hanging onto that secret. And you feel that little prompting that says, hey, why don't you join a group? Why don't you share your story. Why don't you become one that not only finds healing in your soul, but then you begin to offer that healing to other people? This is what I have heard the spirit say to me. Rodney, do you want to participate in me? Do you want to go to churches and say to people, here's a great way to educate yourself about the issue through the Conquer series or here's groups you can start for men and women who are addicted or have been hurt by others addictions. And the curriculum is so holistic and it's such a Christ centered base where we don't have to live in shame anymore. We can see our worth and value. And Rodney, would you call people to partner with organization like Pure Desire and maybe become a resource to get thousands of voices in thousands of churches? Wouldn't it be great someday if every church just had an opportunity for healing and could help people regardless of where they are and that we would not see people as bad, but we would see them as broken just like Jesus and we would see their worth and value and we would be a safe place regardless of where people are in their journey, where they can find healing. That's my prayer for you.

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