121 - 5 Tips to Sharing Your Story

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You're listening to the Pure Desire podcast. Your safe place to find hope, healing and freedom from sexual addiction, betrayal and relationship issues. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it's connection. Battling sexual brokenness and the effects it brings is not something that can be done alone. Pure Desire groups exist to be your safe place to find freedom, recovery and healing from sexual brokenness, betrayal and relationship issues. Whether you or someone you love is struggling or you've experienced betrayal, there is a group for you. PureDesire is here to give you the roadmap to healing. To find a group online or in your area, visit PureDesire.org groups what is Up PD Nation? I'm your host, Trevor Windsor, and you are listening to episode 121 of the Pure Desire podcast. Here with me, as always, is my co host, Nick Stumbo.

Good evening.

Okay, you got it, man. Take it.

Take what?

What is that? What are you doing?

What do you think it is?

Why are you doing it?

Who are you doing? I guess that would be my. My best impersonation of Dracula.

Got it.

Or maybe my favorite Dracula. Count Dracula. You know, one that'd be the best. But tis the season for a little Dracula impersonation, I guess.

To be fair, my two and a half year old is terrified of Count Dracula, does not like him at all. And so I just avoid all things Count Dracula.

You know, I don't think Count Dracula ever got past about four or five. So it's. He doesn't count very high.

Well, that's great because today we talked about five tips on sharing your story.

We didn't have to get any higher than five. That's perfect.

We sat down with Rich Moore, international groups coordinator for Men, and really just talked about sharing our story.

Yeah, and it's really a vital part of the process because one of the things we talk about is how your healing journey really isn't complete. And not that it's ever complete, but it hasn't come into its fullness until we're able to share with others. And it's impacting others. If it's only something we know or only about us, we're only part of the way there. So sooner or later, and I might add that caveat for people listening, if you're on the very, very beginning of your journey and the thought of sharing your story scares the bejeebers out of you, that's okay. I know when I started in this process, I was like, yeah, that's. That ain't gonna happen. I'm never telling people about this. Part of my story. And then, you know, as you get into some of the healing, it's like people need to know. People need to know what God can do and that there's freedom and hope. And so for. For those that are ready, we hope this really helps them share their story well, encourages them to look for those opportunities. Or maybe they've even been asked by a pastor to say, hey, would you share your story? And they're hesitant that this might encourage them. Give them tools they need. And for those that aren't there yet, that's okay. Would you just listen in faith and believe that maybe one day God will use your story, even if right now is not quite the time yet?

Yeah. And these five tips are really doable things. They're not very difficult.

Practical, really practical.

So we hope that you enjoy the communication, the conversation, that you walk away with something beneficial today. Enjoy the podcast. Rich, thanks for being here. Excited to talk about sharing our story. Let's just, let's jump in. You ready to jump in? You guys ready to go?

Let's do this, sir.

Alright, so before we get into these five tips on how to share your story, let's talk real quick. Why is it so powerful to share our story?

I think the most important thing we have is the word of our testimony. Every time we share it, it really breaks the back of hell. I mean, there's just no question, you know, in the verse that was spoken over to me about 20 plus years ago and I wrote it down so I can read it here. Matthew 15:5 or Matthew 5, 14, 16. You are the light of you. Excuse me, you are light for the world. A city cannot be hidden when it is located on a hill. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket. Instead, everyone who lights a lamp puts it on a lamp stand. Then its light shines so everyone in the house can see it. In the same way, let your light shine in front of people. Then they will see the good that you do and praise your Father in heaven. So our testimony can really become that light for others to see. And I think the enemy wants us to hide in the details. And I know that's another question down later, but he doesn't want us to share our story because it's powerful and every time we do share it, it brings hope to others.

Yeah, when I think of sharing our story, I think of the role it has in dispelling shame. And first it's the shame in our own lives. Because even if we're experiencing healing or we have more health There. There are those voices or those past wounds that make us feel like, yeah, but if others knew, they would reject you. But when we're able to share our story, and we definitely have to be aware of a right time and a right place, that we don't want to just try to share our whole story with everybody right away, I kind of think about it like, the. The further we get in healing, the bigger the audience can be to share our story. So the more healing that's there, the more free we can be with it. Early on, maybe it's just in our group or with our spouse or a close friend that we feel we can start opening up with. But as we. We share that story and we're public in giving words to what happened to us and what God's doing, we realize we're not hiding behind our past anymore, that we're now seeing God use it. And the way that. That just releases us from our own sense of shame. And actually we get the joy of watching others be impacted, because that's really the second purpose of dispelling the shame, is that when someone else hears our story and hears that God's at work and sees that hope is possible, it really can communicate to them it's okay not to be okay, and it's okay to talk about this and that hope is possible. And now maybe the very thing that they've been living with as well, or maybe a spouse of theirs is living with, they realize, man, I. I can do something about it. And so it's like we talk a lot about at our events when we bring up Second Corinthians, chapter one, where Paul says that God comforts us so that we can comfort others, not that we can be comfortable and just be happy and alone, but so that we can have a message. And that's like Dr. Ted says all the time, that. That the very places we've been wounded are where we're the most gifted, that God uses that story. So I think just defeating the enemy of shame, that's the primary weapon of Satan in so many people's lives. That's what sharing our story does, is it defeats shame in us and in others and just opens doors for God to work in our lives and in others in ways that otherwise, I just. I don't think he can.

Yeah, maybe this is just because I like to argue, but I think that you actually cannot argue someone else's story. Like, if I tell you theologically that healing's possible or that you can't have an addiction as a Christian Someone can argue me biblically, theologically, wherever you want about this.

Have you read this article?

So if I'm sharing my story, I'm also not posturing as a theological thing. I'm just sharing my experience. And I just. What's coming to mind is we taught. We spoke at a youth event this last year in Florida. That was one of the things that I remember saying and remember connecting with the kids, like, asked them, who likes to argue and said, I can beat you. Watch, I'll share my story and then try to argue me, because you can't. And so I think that that's also part of it, that you're not. And we'll get into some of the ways to do this better. But in reality, you cannot tell me that my experience wasn't my experience.

Well, and especially in a day and age where we're in postmodernism, where there is no absolute truth, really, though, the primary or the absolute truth that remains is personal truth. So for you to be sharing your personal truth, I think someone can look at it and say, boy, your personal truth seems better than mine. What you're experiencing is better than what I'm experiencing. The freedom, the joy, the meaning and purpose in your life. And so even if a person rejects God, scripture, any kind of absolute truth, your personal truth is powerful to them.

Yeah, No, I agree. I think there's so much power in your story. I know for me, I've told my story a thousand times, and every time it's super emotional. But every time I share it, I can feel just more layers coming off, you know, And I think that's. That's what makes it real for other people. Because you're. You're literally speaking to. Right where they're at.

Right. That's good.

It's good. So let's dive into the five tips then sharing our story. And the first tip we have for you, our listeners today is this. It's Share, don't teach. Share, don't teach. Trevor, what do we mean by that?

So I think that it's important to understand that when you're sharing your story, you're not preaching a message. The idea is that you're sharing your experience. You're not trying to craft it in a way that connects with people better or is trying to. Because I think this happens. There's like spiritual, emotional, kind of manipulating people into feeling something or experiencing something. When you're teaching, where just sharing from your experience and saying, hey, look, this is something that I went through. This is how I felt. This is how I broke free. What you're doing is you're not only relating to people like, I'm a human being. This is just my experience. And you get hope from it. But it also doesn't feel like I'm trying to manipulate you to have the same experience or the same freedom or the same healing. I'm just sharing, saying, hey, look, this is possible, rather than trying. And I don't know why, but that word manipulation just kind of keeps going through my head where I'm not trying to basically craft a compelling message to get someone to do something. I'm just sharing my story and allowing what God's done in and through it to be the one who convinces people that they too, can do it.

Yeah, I think when. Especially when a testimony is given in a church, when it comes across as somebody's teaching that instead of just speaking from, you know, the heart and emotion part, it disconnects from the people in. In the. In the audience, because now they're. We're speaking to them and not at them in the sense of I'm speaking to right where they're at. And most people I know, in my case, when. When I hear a testimony, if I feel it's. If it's not really from the heart, it's. It's hard to connect. So when I'm able to share my story and I can see on the face of others where the pain and the frustration and I talk to those people afterwards, then you know that it does. It's not a teaching moment. It's really saying, hey, this is who I am. I'm broken, busted. This is where I've come from. It's just a lot more powerful that way.

I think about how when we teach, we inadvertently move into the role of an authority, that now I'm above you and I'm teaching you because you don't understand and you don't know. And like you said, Trevor, there's something in us that wants to argue and push back on that. And, well, what do you know? But when we share, we stay in the position, as a friend, a colleague, or someone on the same journey to just say, here's what I'm learning. Here's what's happened in my life, and what can you glean from what's happened to me? And I feel like people are just a lot more open that, especially on a topic like this, that we probably don't need to be taught more. I find that the vast majority of people know the right answers. They know what they want to be doing. It's an inability to do it. So to just tell them more what they're doing wrong and how to change it isn't very useful. But that sense of I'm not alone, someone else understands what I'm going through, and they've found hope. That can really be encouraging.

Yeah, absolutely.

All right, going and moving into the next tip. Here we talk about speaking from your experience only. Nick, could you start us off on that?

Yeah. I think what we're looking at here is wanting to make sure that we share what we're most aware of, that we're not trying to posture ourselves as an expert now that just because we've experienced some healing doesn't mean we understand all of the neurochemistry side and all of the inner workings of the human psyche. And I think sometimes we can feel that pressure. Like, before I share, I'd better become an expert. It's like, well, no, you're just sharing your experience. And the other side of it is we don't want to try to tell other people's stories or get inadvertently into talking about someone else in the group that maybe had a more dramatic story or maybe had behaviors that are easier. It's easier to talk about someone else, but that's not really going to benefit someone else when we're trying to share what's happened to us. So it's an encouragement to just stick with what you know and don't feel the pressure to share what you don't know or don't you know. Inadvertently avoid your story by telling other people's stories. So really focus on what's God done in your life? What are the truths that you can really personally say? This is what I've encountered because that's gonna have the biggest impact on those who hear you.

I think, too, when you move from that idea of teaching to sharing, I think that that naturally happens where, if I'm a teacher, I feel like I have to have all this information or new stuff to give you, or if I'm just sharing on a personal level, which can be done in teaching, in preaching, that can be done. But I feel like you're just naturally gonna come at it from that level. And I mean, with what you're saying, Nick, about not sharing other people's experiences, I think the reason why I, when I started to do that or kind of delved into that, why I don't think well, is because I didn't actually experience that. So I can't speak to the mindset, to the motivations, to the Manifestation of all that stuff happening. Those are three M's. I don't know where those came from, but that was good. I didn't write those down. I'll listen to this later. But I think that it's important to understand that speaking from your experience, you lived through all of it. And so you speak to the exact things that happen where. If I'm trying to tell someone else's story, even if you're someone who's struggling and your spouse is the betrayed spouse and you're trying to tell their story, there are pieces you don't understand are going to completely miss. And those may be, like, holes that are in the story and in the sharing that make someone feel maybe more shame or more hopeless. Like, I think that just speaking from your own experience allows other people to share their experiences that will also connect with other people.

Yeah, you want to. When you share your experience, the part that's really important, that is we're not telling people what to do in that time.

Right.

The last thing is a guy wants us to tell him what to do.

Yeah.

The only. The way we can do that.

Anybody, actually.

Anybody.

Anybody who likes to tell what to do.

So the best thing to do, like you guys are talking about, is to share our experience, because out of our experience, it's going to give them some tools. Because we're just saying, hey, this is what worked for me. But to try to tell them, hey, you need to do this, that'll just push them further away.

Well, and what's cool about sharing your story, too, is that if people are intrigued or inspired by it, they'll ask you questions. And then those are the moments where you can speak from your experience. And maybe it is a teaching moment. Maybe it is where you're like, whoa, I decided that I wanted to get off Twitter because that was the one thing that kept tripping me up. And so I stopped. And so you can say, hey, are you doing what's completely necessary to be free and healthy sexually? Like, so those teaching opportunities may come, but sharing your story invites people in, and then they can ask those questions, which then actually gives you a higher and more effective platform to speak. Speak into their life.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, next one. You guys ready? We doing good?

We're doing good.

Okay, so the third one is. And we'll kind of flesh this out even more, but give the full story. So really articulating your motivations. What's going on? So let's talk about that.

Yeah. I think about this as the what, the how, and the why? Of our testimony. And there can be a tendency to focus on the what because that's the behaviors. And if you think about, like the iceberg illustration, it's the above the water line, what people can see. And it is easy to put the attention there because you can say, well, I was doing these things and I took these steps and now I'm not. Which is great. But if a person can't relate exactly to what you've encountered or what your behaviors are, they might feel like, well, that's great for you, but that doesn't really help me. And it's only telling one little piece of the story. What we can see when you get into the how you're actually now giving someone handholds to look at. Well, what could I do? Well, I. If you. Who did you call? What were your first steps? What was it like to go to a group? Or what. What started to create free. How were you able to find the change in those behaviors? But then even more important and below that is the why, the motivation. So as you start to connect the dots for people, that my behavior was being driven by emotions and feelings and core beliefs, and you start to talk about that of feeling alone or feeling worthless or feeling not good enough, and how that led you into your behavior and then how it not only did your encounter with Christ in a group or being in community change that behavior, but it also helped you recognize that you weren't alone or how God was with you in your pain, or how that voice of worthlessness actually came from stories in your past and that that's not the true message of who you are. Well, the value of that is for someone who hears your story that maybe doesn't have the exact struggle you have, likely they can connect there. They can go, well, I've felt alone. And they realize how feeling alone is what maybe drives them to being a shopaholic or being a workaholic or drinking or whatever their thing is. They see the core stuff. The why is so common for us. And if they can relate to you there, then they might start to see what steps or what would it look like for them to pursue healing and wholeness as well. So when you tell that full story, you really give people a picture of what healing looks like versus just focusing on changed behavior. Because as we talk about a lot on this podcast, behavior modification isn't what this is about. God's just not trying to make us more obedient and do the right thing all the time.

He's.

He really wants to impact our Hearts. He wants to impact us at a soul level and when we can share those kind of things, I really think that's what people can relate to best.

Yeah, that was a great answer. That's hard to follow. Well, a lot of you know this. Some of that was what I was going to say. So I don't have much to follow up on that. That was just incredible.

Yeah, it was good. I mean, thanks, Nick. Appreciate it, man. I think one of the things that's powerful about being able to tell the whole story is it in some ways creates like a map for people to see. That I got from Bob Vandermeer, one of our staff members talks about like, what did little Bobby experience that helped create Bob that we knew then or know today? And so what I like is when you share your story, you're actually giving someone. Okay, here's what's coming to mind. Illustration time. You ready? You know those pieces of paper that have all the dots and they're numbered and then you connect the dots and when you connect the dots, you finally see what the full picture is. I feel like sharing your story actually allows people like gives them the paper, gives them the points, and then they're able to start connecting all the dots to get a fuller picture of their story. I feel like I'm onto something right here. This is a book idea probably, but I think that that's what it does.

You know they already have dot to dot books, right?

They know I know. Don't shoot me down.

Oh, you mean writing a book.

Gotcha. Got it. But I think that that's what it does. Like it doesn't. Maybe you don't have all the dots, but at least you've given them more to start connecting. And looking back to that, they can start to get a fuller understanding of their own story and their own struggles.

Yeah, that's the important part is you don't want to leave your story. You don't want to have holes in your story. Because when you have holes in your story, I think that sometimes just leaves room for the enemy to come in and kind of muddle it up a little bit.

And I'd encourage you. We're talking about sharing your story in any venue. And so if you're sharing your story with a friend over coffee, that can be done pretty casually. Just, you know, you're opening up your heart. But if you've been given an opportunity to share at a small group or in front of a church setting and knowing that's a strategic moment for God to use me in my story, I'd really encourage you to, you know, write out your thoughts as much as you need to and share it with someone else that knows you well. And kind of ask them, like, are there any holes in this story? Or am I opening a door that then is going to leave people wondering what was I talking about? So that when someone hears it, it is just like you're saying, Rich. There's not holes, there's not gaps. Because we want people to not only celebrate with us, but feel like. As you were saying, Trevor, feel like they can connect the dots in their own life. So we may not see. Because we've lived it, we may not see where we're maybe leaving a part out that's really crucial. So let a friend review it with you and ask some questions to say, well, wait, how did you. I hear you got into this group, but how did you do that? Or, what was that first time like? And that can really make your story that much more effective.

Yeah.

Okay, so the fourth tip as you share your story is don't avoid the messy stuff. That would sure be easy to do, Rich. Why would we say, don't avoid the messy stuff?

I actually love this one. Out of all the podcasts I've been on, this one's kind of. I don't know. For me, this is the great. The best question or comment or whatever. First, you know, the enemy hides in the details, like I said earlier, so he wants us to keep it a secret. Well, living a life of recovery is messy. It's not all, you know, flowers and all that kind of stuff.

It's rainbows.

Rainbows. And, yeah, it's a mess. Yeah, it's. So I think to be able to share that and not to be afraid to share the messy stuff is super powerful. And I kind of look at it and I'll take a little sidestep back in the day when. When NFL games were played on fields, when it was muddy, you know, so you. You're watching a game, and these guys at the end of the game are covered in mud and blood and sweat. Those. You know, those guys are in a battle. So you want to hear their story. But then you come across to sorry for your kicker that maybe didn't kick in that game. And he's the only player that is. Has his uniforms all white.

Right.

Well, you're probably not going to talk to him because he didn't play in the game.

Yeah.

But I want to know the story of the guys who just went to battle.

Right.

So I think that's the important part of not being afraid to share the mess.

Well, and to, like, I think about. Because you were kind of even referring to some of our past, Nick, you were talking about it. And I think that there's, like, this very Christian, really, like, loving motivation to. To not sharing some things in order to protect other people. So, like, if you were abused as a kid or your parents, like, ditched, and like, we're not a part of your life. Like, if there was someone who really hurt you and you feel like the loving thing is to just never talk about it or never share it, I think that that's where we actually end up having less. Like, I think there's gonna be less healing in your life also, like that first. And then also there's gonna be less power to sharing your story. You don't have to name them by name, but being able to share the, like, really raw, real stuff that happened in your story is. Honestly, this is what I've. I've learned just even creatively. I heard a songwriter say that the more specific you become, the more universal the message actually ends up being. So the more specific into your story you get, the more it actually has the power to reach more people. Because I think, Nick, what you were talking about is that idea that maybe I wasn't abused, but I have felt taken advantage of, or I have felt like my perspective doesn't matter, or someone else always has more power over me. And so I think that there are these shared experiences that maybe me sharing, you know, for one of the things I've. I just started recently sharing maybe in the last year or two, is my same sex experience I had when I was, like, 12 years old. And that was the one deep, dark, messy secret no one was ever gonna know. And then now, like, I can say it publicly on a nationally syndicated podcast so that people can understand that they're not alone if they've had that experience or they felt like there was something deep and dark and messy that they could never share. So I think that sharing it and being more honest, you can still protect those things in those areas and those people. But understanding the more specific you are, the actually more universal the message becomes.

Yeah, we're nationally syndicated, huh?

I mean, I feel like it's.

I don't know what that means, but it sounds good. I like it. Yeah. Obviously you want to be aware of your audience. Like, if you're in a mixed crowd, there's maybe details that aren't appropriate to share that you could share if it was just people of your same gender. If you're one on one with someone, you can probably be more open about specific stuff because you're aware of what may or may not be triggering to them. So I do think you want to be cautious or aware of what would oversharing look like. Again, that's the value of allowing other people to kind of speak into how you share your story. But I think our tendency does tend to be we over generalize and sometimes that's because we haven't realized that there's some shame there and there's certain words or phrases we're still attaching shame to. I remember once as a pastor, I'd asked a couple to share because I knew they'd been through group. I knew the healing story they'd had. I knew that God had done amazing things and I just, I knew it would encourage our church, but I didn't really spend much time coaching them. And so they did a little, you know, five minute testimony in front of church. And when it was done, I just felt like I had failed them because their, while their testimony was authentic, it was so general. I don't think you would even have known what he struggled with, what groups they went to, because it was just like I was in a dark place and I was struggling and God found me and we walked into the light and other people helped us and like, well, that's all true, but that tells me nothing of what went on. And so being able to say, you know, I was struggling with pornography and I was in an issue where a couple of times, you know, specifics of a couple of times a month I was going to places online I shouldn't have been.

Right.

That does help people actually know what you're talking about and it does give power to your story. And the other thing that can happen if we don't share at least enough of the details to be real, I find that people fill in the details and it can lead to some confusion. I had another example where I had shared part of my story and hadn't had a lot of time. So I was kind of general about a couple of things. And then I got a question, you know, privately later about like, well, how did your wife respond to the affairs? And I was like, affairs? You know what? You know, I've never been with another woman. It's all online stuff. And, and, but how I'd phrase some things or Ben general. They had assumed that's what I meant. And so I think that's what you would just want to watch out for is there's places where you're general that people will assume what you're talking about. And it can be better for you to name it and be specific, because then they'll be able to really follow. What did the healing journey look like?

Yep. Good.

Yeah. As we. We hit the last point here. End with hope. Trevor, can you explain why that's such an important piece?

I can try. I think ending with hope is important because, like, a story has a beginning, a middle, and an end, or at least some resolution that is still moving forward. And so I think that, like, when sharing your story, if you just end with, and I'm still in the middle of my addiction, and all God's people said, like, you don't end it that way. So I think that you have to be able to articulate where is the hope in your story. Maybe you still are in the middle of recovery and getting healthy, but if you can refer back and look back at where you were before and where you are now, those pieces of hope that you see, those moments of victory, those things you can look back at street signs or at basically, like. I mean, I think about, like, mile markers in your recovery, you're looking back to those and sharing those moments. Because honestly, sharing your story is about bringing encouragement and edification to someone else. It's not about, look at me, I'm cool. Look at, you know, me being up here, being able to share and do all this stuff. Stuff. I think it's really ending with hope important because you have to have people understand that healing is possible and that movement in any arena of life is possible. And you can't do that if it just ends with. And we're still all the same. It just doesn't work that way.

Yeah. I mean, and there's a balance there. Right? Because I think we do have a tendency in churches, I've called it in my book, being Chicken Soup for the Soul, kind of testimonies that. That every story has to end with this perfect bow on it.

Not that those books are bad.

Those are great books. But you only get one little story of someone's life. And when we're sharing our testimony, I think we want to provide the hope. We want to talk honestly about the healing we've encountered, but also be vulnerable enough to acknowledge we're still human beings, that we're still in process, and that actually, I think, gives people hope. Because sometimes if we're trying to put the perfect little bow and act like, and now our marriage is perfect and I'm perfect, and that's actually a false hope for people that they're discouraged because they're like, well, we'll never get there, or we'll never have a perfect marriage. I'll never be that free. So if you're able to say, yeah, we're. We're not who we used to be, and we're not yet who God is making us to be, we're in process. I think people are drawn to that hope because it feels, for lack of a better word, it feels achievable. Like, you know, we could get there. I don't know if I could be perfect, but I think I could be in a better place like he is. So it's. It's just being authentic to what is happening and yet also being able to share. Here's the joy, here's the victory, here's the celebrations.

Yeah, I share my story almost on a daily basis. You know, we had hundreds of people.

Calling in, tired of you walking into the office and just dropping on me every day.

Yeah. So I'm on the phone all the time. And, you know, we're working with broken people, and they. They do. They feel no hope. So to be able to share that with them. And I always share, you know, that I don't remember the scripture offhand, but it is, you know, what the enemy meant to destroy us, God will use for good. I mean, that's my story. You know, Emmy was going to use my addiction to take me down, but here I am. Look what I do for a living. I get to help other people who are struggling. To be able to share that with them. If you can, in your story, give them an ounce of hope, man, that can go a long way because they just need to know that they can make it. And for us to be able to be that contact, for them, to get them connected in a group or counseling or whatever, they never thought it was going to be possible. And for us, it's easy. You know, we're able to say, hey, we know where. We understand where you're at. We've been there. And that's such a key piece to what we do.

You know, that makes me think of an event we were at recently, and a guy came up to the table and just shared that he had come because his son had invited him. And I thought about that, how his son has shared his story of freedom and hope. And he said to me that. He said, I've been struggling and going to SA groups for 30 years, and I've never encountered in that 30 years what I'm Hearing from my son in the year he's been in a pure desire group. And I mean, that's powerful. Just the story there. But I think it's the willingness of the son to share his story was probably the key to that. And to think, would that dad have stayed trapped if the son had said, I don't feel comfortable sharing this. So to share our story, it changes lives. And you know, one other thing I wanted to add, and this might be a bonus tip or a sixth tip, but along the lines of hope, I would really encourage listeners spend as much time sharing about the hope and the healing as you do on the struggle or the addiction. Because I definitely notice a trend when I'm reading books on this and hearing people share. They spent a lot of time talking about what they did wrong and all the things they did and when they got caught and what happened and who heard and how they reacted. And that might make a good Hollywood movie because it's dramatic and it's interesting. But that doesn't make a good testimony because it actually glorifies the past more than it glorifies God. So make sure you don't spend 10 minutes telling people about all the wrong you did. And then in a minute say, but I met God and went to a group and now things are better. You know, get, get through the rough stuff quickly and talk about the change and what's happening and what you're learning because that's really what people need to hear. Give them enough of your past, they can relate, but don't spend so long in it because I, I think that's what we can get overly focused on when we need to put the focus on the hope. We need to put the focus on the healing and make sure people hear the real tangible steps that can be taken. So spend as much time on the hope as you do on the past.

Yeah, it's easy to overlook the power of telling your story. And I think one of the things too that we would suggest is don't tell your story just to invite other people into their own healing. Open up, tell your story. Understanding that will encourage people and give hope to people. And it will end up being one of the most inviting things for other people to step into their own healing. So don't get up there and think that if 18 people in my 30 person church come forward and want to join a group because I told my story, don't be discouraged. Understand that really what that does is that creates this opportunity for you to become the safe person and people to come talk to you and then get their own healing started. So we hope that these five, maybe six tips help you in sharing your story and just understand that the power that of what Jesus has done in your life is communicated through His Word but also through your story. Thanks guys. Appreciate your time.

Thanks yeah, glad to be a part of it.

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