130 - Starting The New Year Right!

You're listening to the Pure Desire Podcast, your safe place to find hope, healing, and freedom from sexual addiction, betrayal and relationship issues. Happy New Year. I am your host, Trevor Windsor, and you are listening to episode 130 of the Pure Desire podcast, the last episode of 2019 hit the. And here joining me as always, is my co host, Nicholas jstembo.

Auld lang syne, my friend. Auld lang syne.

I don't know what language that is.

That's, you know the traditional new year song, Let all acquaintance. Yeah. So did you know Auld lang Syne actually means old long since, which is absolute nonsense for us. But the meaning is time's gone by. So you raise a glass to auld lang syne. Time's gone by. We got a year of podcasts here. So that's our times gone by.

We are not raising a glass of anything right now.

Oh, that's a bummer.

That's okay. All right, so as we wrap up the 2019 podcast, we wanted to touch base on a couple things real quick. First, subscribe to the podcast. If you are not, don't wait. You can find us on all the major platforms and please give us a review. It helps more people see the podcast, find it, and it means a lot to us. And then also if you can follow us on social media, keep up with what we're talking about, the content that we're pushing, Facebook, Twitter and instagramuredesirepdmi. And if you like to consume video content, you can watch all these episodes full on YouTube. YouTube. Just search pure Desire Ministries.

See our pretty faces.

Oh, yeah, right.

I forgot to shave.

No pressure.

I forgot there was a podcast.

No pressure. Great. So, listener, Happy New Year. We're super, super thankful for all of you who stuck with us through the year of 2019. If you've been listening since July of 17 when we started, we just. Thank you so much for listening. And what else? What else do you want to say to the people? Happy New Year. Other than that. Cheers.

Yeah, it's cool how. And I think especially in this year, the podcast and those who listen and interact with us that we meet at events, it's become like a family or a group or I don't know what you'd call it. A club, I don't think. Like a.

Definitely not a cult. Stay away from the cult.

There's just a good vibe to like, hey, we're in this together. And I know you and I are the ones that talk a lot, but I feel like so many of our listeners have become A part of it, through their input and questions and the way that they've said how encouraging this is to them, that this is a place they come weekly knowing I'm going to hear something that encourages me, not people that just preach down at me, but are in it with me. And. And I love that feeling that we're a part of that. So thanks to everyone for helping make that community, because this is a safe community for everyone.

So we wrapped the 2019 podcast season, if you will, by talking about really starting the year. Right. So we jumped into some thoughts on what it might look like to be more healthy in 2020.

Yeah. And I think every year there's some of that thought of, well, what am I going to do this year? And perhaps for some people, it starts to feel like a routine that's empty or what's the point? And I think it's a time of year we can really look at. What does it look like to change? And I'm not just going to make the same old resolutions, but actually create some focus in my life, because where we put that focus, we're going to also put energy and time, and you're going to put your time and energy somewhere, so why not put it into things for your growth and the good of others around you.

Yeah. So we pray that this episode helps you and that the year 2020 is an excellent one for you. Enjoy the episode.

Raise a glass, Nick.

Let's talk 2020, the year 2020. We're there. We are. We're there. Tomorrow. If you're listening to this on the release date, tomorrow is January 1st, 2020. And so.

And if you're not, why didn't you.

That's probably true.

Aren't you just waiting for these to come out?

Let's look right into the camera. How dare you? Okay, so for those of you who don't know, we record these also video on YouTube. So check that out. But as we get into 2020, which, again, I'm convinced every pastor in America is going to use that as an illustration to, for clarity, for what God is calling you to. Yeah, it's going to happen. So just like every year, we get to around this time and people start to make New Year's resolutions or goals, which it's a great time to do that, but we also see that those tend to fall off pretty quickly. So what kind of tips or thoughts would we want to give people for setting those goals or those resolutions for 2020?

Yeah, well, you already mentioned pastors, so I thought of a very pastoral Response that I have three points and they all start with an S. I think you need specifics, you need support and you need the source. So specifics. And I know this is an error. I made a lot early on in life was just the big pictures. Like this year I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to lose £20 or I'm going to maybe for listeners of this podcast, I'm not going to relapse or I'm not going to view pornography. And those are great goals. They're big picture, like vision of where you're headed. But if you don't have some specifics of how you're going to do that, it's unlikely you'll get there just by trying harder or wanting it more. As we've said on this podcast, that it is our direction, not our desire, that determines the destination. That's a great Andy Stanley quote there, that we actually have to be moving in that direction. So, you know, if I want to lose weight, the specifics of how am I eating healthier, am I eating less, am I exercising more, is it all the above? You know, and really in specifics, I think we've learned this from Heather, that you need to pick like one to three things at most. Like, these are the three main things that specifically I'm going to do to make progress in this area. Because more likely than not, if you do just say, I'm going to lose weight this year, by February, you'll have changed that goal to something totally different.

Yep.

So the second thing, support. I think we need to recognize anytime we make change in our lives, it disrupts the relationships around us and that it can be good in the long run. But again, for like losing weight, if that's our goal and we're going to eat a lot differently and we go shopping and bring home nothing but, you know, kale and cabbage, our family might be like, what the heck? We don't even know how to eat this. You're going to need their support. Or the complaints, you know, and the frustration within your family system are going to derail and discourage you really, really quickly. So whatever you're working on, to just pause and go, okay, what kind of support will I need? Who will I need on board with me if it's working out? Like, you need to know when you're going to work out and what time of day that's going to happen, or if it's a financial thing, like your spouse or family members will need to be on board. So just think about support and you know, have those conversations sooner rather than later. And then finally, by the source, I mean really looking at what's your motivation? Because I think for me, a lot of the goals or resolutions I made that never happened were because primarily they were just about myself feeling better. And that wasn't a sustainable, sustainable source of change. If we know it's for the betterment of my marriage, to help my children, to make sure I live long, you know, and we can really see that motivation. And that again, goes to some stuff Heather's taught us on these podcasts about our will and our motivation. Those three parts of the I will, I won't, and I want.

Yeah.

So willpower isn't just what we won't do, it's also knowing what we will do. So the specifics and the support, but also the I want the big picture of why am I really doing this? Because if you realize your goal is just something totally self motivated, I mean, that can motivate us intrinsically, but it's easy to lose sight unless there's something kind of beyond ourselves that motivates us. Those are the goals we tend to hold onto and pursue no matter how hard it gets.

Yeah, well, I mean, this is perfect because mine also starts with an s. So a 4ths would be look at us. For me, what came to mind is self care goals. I think a lot of us have, like, yeah, I lose weight, but a lot of that tends to be because I want to look better or feel better. But very rarely do we make goals like, you know what, I want to read 30 books this year, or I want to make sure that I'm connecting with a friend one time every single week. Or I want to implement Sabbath or silence and solitude into this year, like, things like that. I think that self care needs to be something that we do. And I think that in the church, it's really hard because self care oftentimes comes off as selfishness or isolation, when in reality, there's a lot of different things that can include other people and be by yourself that are about taking care of yourself. And if you don't take care of yourself, it's really hard to be. It's really hard to be nice to people. It's really hard to be kind and serve other people when you haven't spent some time, really, to make sure that you're also taking care of your own soul, your own body, your own mind, all of it.

Yeah. Well, hopefully a lot of listeners or watchers are viewing this podcast in conjunction with the one we did Right before it really about that gift of self care, that gift of a healthy you. Because I agree. I think we do often see that as selfish. And so we avoid things that we know really would improve our attitude, our quality of life. And when we do that, we're helping others. The other thing you just reminded me of, that I think is worth mentioning, we do want to be realistic about these goals.

And I think that's not an S word, Nick.

I know we need to be. We'll think of it later. But you're thinking of Robert Vandermeer, who's been on a number of the podcasts. I love the illustration he uses of the that commitment to change. If a guy's like, I'm going to get up at 5am every day and read my Bible and pray for an hour and a half and it's like, well, what time do you currently get up? Well, 8:30 and well, how much are you reading your Bible now? None. So the idea, I mean, it's a very noble idea that we're going to go from 0 to 60 overnight, but maybe more realistic goals that say this year, I'm hoping three days a week for 15. If I'm at zero and I could go to three days a week, 15 minutes a day, that's a great step forward. And even if, you know this is the other side of it, you could start out every day for an hour. That's awesome. But if you start to find that's hard to sustain and your big goal is just to be consistent at three days, maybe you'll level out there and feel okay about yourself. So just be realistic where you're at and what can you get to in, you know, in this coming year?

Totally, Absolutely.

That's good. Okay, so as we think about these goals, resolutions, a new year, what are some things, Trevor, that you are specifically focusing on in 2020 to continue in your own health?

Yeah, I like this question because we share a lot of stuff, really, about ourselves, about our families, about our recovery on the podcast. But this is just a different type of question. It feels like where I'm sharing more of what I'm learning. But for me, the couple things slowing down and I'll get to a book recommendation later in the episode that has really helped me identify that as something I need. For me, slowing down is really important because I can tend to get not necessarily hyperactive in the moment, but in my head I'm always thinking, what's the next thing? What's the next project? Or okay, I'm a Little bit bored. I want to do this, and I bounce around. And really what I end up doing is I'm not invested in any one thing. I end up being like. It's the whole, like, I can't even remember the illustration, but that idea of basically, if I'm doing a lot of things and I'm only an inch deep, nothing really gets done right. Totally. So for me, slowing down helps me be really, what I want to be this year specifically, is be present. Um, for me, I had this. And I can't remember if I've said something on the podcast about it or not, but I had this experience just recently where I took like a quote unquote digital Sabbath where I just turned my phone off for a day. It was awesome. Did you survive? I did survive. No one died. No one needed me.

The world didn't stop spinning.

Just that needy friend. I'm just kidding. You know who you are. Yeah, you do. But I had this experience where I was hanging out with my son. And I think I did mention this on a recent podcast, that we had this really cool interaction, and I felt like the Lord in that moment said to me, if you would have had your phone, you would have missed this moment. And it was just like, oh, like, okay, like one. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this opportunity in this moment. But also, man, that really sucks that I haven't been present for moments like this. And so for me, in 2020, it's slowing down. And being present, which is an enneagram7, is very difficult for me to do. Just the other day at church, I was listening to someone talk to me, and I remember getting in the car and I was so wiped out. My wife's like, what's going on? I didn't realize it until maybe a couple hours later how much energy it takes for me to be in the moment, locked in, listening to somebody, not thinking about, oh, where's my friend who's doing that? Or is the worship starting, like, all these different things? So slowing down, being present. That's me. What about you?

Yeah, that's good. I think one of the things I'm realizing is the older I get, the less my goals are measurable. And I know they're supposed to be measurable, but did you just say that you're old? I'm getting. Every year I get older. Although maybe I should admit that I'm old, you know? So as I think of 2020, one of my major focuses is in a similar way, being present, but really about the season of life. I'M in more than anything because, you know, my wife and I have four kids, they're between the ages of 15 and 17 and we are just busy. And I find myself falling into that pattern of kind of wishing it away, like, oh, I wish I had a night where I just go home, have dinner and that's all I to do because that like hasn't happened in four years.

Michelle, did you hear that, kids? Have you heard that?

I mean, that's just the reality of sports and activities and homework and lunches and the stuff we do. But I know, and it scares me a little bit that I think in a decade that's going to be every night pretty much. And I'll be sitting there wishing I had a volleyball game to go to or wishing I had a kid to drive around. And I think I get so kind of caught up in the busyness of it that I don't enjoy the fun. Enjoy. Yeah, it's a little chaotic, but it's what we want, it's what we've got and it's the moment we're in. And so just learning those drives to my kids, to youth group, having fun with that, the sporting events we go to and not just being in, okay, what's next? Or when do we get through this? So in a sense slowing down, but just about the big picture, the season of life we're in. And then the other thing that came to mind again, thinking about aging. And for a lot of years I've been a runner and it's always been about PRs and how fast and what race. And over the last number of years I've really battled with some injuries and I think a lot of that is still this performance mindset of achievement, be my best, get faster, that I'm not really allowing my body to tell me how it's feeling and listen to it. And so in 2020, I'm making it a goal to run more, but to run more because I just do it for enjoyment that's good. And to forget about the pace and to not, you know, I'm often comparing myself to myself, right. You know, I'm looking at my watch and if I'm over a nine minute mile, it's like, oh, I'm so slow. And I used to do seven 30s without even thinking about it. But it's like I'm not that person I was 10 years ago and if I've got an injury, I shouldn't be so learning to be content with limits because for me that's a huge outlet and If I keep, you know, just pushing the limits and getting injured, I actually lose something. That for me is a really important part of kind of my mental and health emotional rhythms. So it's to run within myself and just enjoy, hey, that I'm out here and who cares how many minutes a mile I'm running if I got a run in? That was a good day. And so it's, it's, I think those mental shifts that we have to make sometimes that can help us move towards our goals.

We're gonna take a quick break in this episode and let you know about a giving campaign that we've got going on right now. We're here the end of 2019. As we're moving into 2020, we wanted to encourage those of you who've experienced freedom to consider an opportunity really to give others the message of hope and freedom. And Nick, we've titled this opportunity Free People. Free People.

Yeah. We've been playing off the theme that we know to also be true. That hurt people, hurt people. That we have a way in our unhealth of passing that along, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And so as, as God brings freedom and hope and redemption into our lives, a major part of our healing is how do I pay that forward? And we hope that people are seeing ways in their families, in their churches and their community that they're paying forward their health. And we also see that contributing to the ministry might be one of those ways that God prompts them to pay it forward. And we really can't do what we do without the partnership of hundreds and thousands of people. And this is a huge area to bring change into the church. And we know we can't do it alone. So we just, we want to invite people to be a part of that. And particularly at the end of the year where they're looking to give, to contribute, we hope pure desire is on their radar because if it's impacted your life, help us impact more lives. That's really what it's about.

Yeah. And if you are interested, feel moved, convicted, anything to give, just go to PureDesire.org FreePeople alright, so I feel like what we're talking about right now is just really pace and it almost feels like just pace of life and understanding. And I think this is something that's really important for people in recovery to understand is that not everything is going to change overnight and it's not going to change in a year or three years, but over five, six, seven, 10 years seeing real health really established. And one of the things that we know is that relationships are a huge piece of that. And so really, I just want to give us kind of an opportunity to talk a little bit about what we think in 2020. We would encourage people or give some thoughts on how to better invest in relationships.

Yeah, well, I'm glad this question is in here because I think when we talk about resolutions in a new year, it's human nature to look at myself, what am I going to do for me? And we kind of forget, oh, yeah, I've got relationships, how could I work on those?

Or I want to meet 20 new people this year. And it's like, you're weird. What are you talking about?

How could we just invest in the people God's put around us? So the two things that came to mind for me on this one, and number one is really one I'm working on a lot, is to take initiative, particularly like with my kids or with friends, because I think I find myself maybe waiting for the moment to be right or for it to come up naturally. But, like, I think about taking my daughters out for coffee or on a little mini daddy daughter date. Well, they rarely are going to bring that up. I mean, I know they love it when we do, but I have to initiate and it's not always going to be perfect. And an example this was a couple of weeks ago. I took one of my daughters out for coffee before school. And it, it wasn't like super easy to make it work and, or convenient. She was really excited to do it, but just in our family routine, it kind of disrupted everything. So it would have been easier for me to go, oh, we'll do it later, we'll do it later. But that's, I think the trap we get into is it's always going to be later. And so just looking to initiate with kids or spouses or friends that when you have a good idea of something that could build into the relationship, take initiative. And the timing probably won't be right. There's never a good time to carve out a few hours just to go be with a friend or with your spouse. There will always be something else. You could be doing a chore or a task or a to do list or an email. So it's being willing to push pause and take that initiative. And then with that, the second thing, and we've talked about it on these podcasts, when I think about what I really hope is a priority for people is having that regular date night with their spouse where they're really unplugging from their. The household. How do we have to get everything done? Kind of the normal stuff. We all talk about who's going where if you go out. And that's all you talk about. It's not really a date night. It's just talking about your life in a different location. A date night. The purpose is really, it's about you as a couple. Just how are we doing? How are you? How could I build into your life? And one of the things we've been doing for the last couple of years is just using like those John Gottman question decks or I'll have my own, is just to sit and ask questions you don't know normally ask. That's what we miss a lot with the hustle and bustle of family life is to just stop and go. What made you happy this week? What was your low moment this week? What's something I've done in the last month that you appreciated? What's something I've done that I could have changed? Just questions that maybe wouldn't come up in your day to day stuff. So that to me is what I love about date night, is remembering that there's a real living person here that I will never fully know or understand. And the more we get into those questions, the more I'm reminded of, man, this is a person I'm intrigued by. This is a person I really love hanging out with. And if we just go through the same old routines and what are you doing Saturday? Where are we going? It doesn't create that depth. So on those date nights, really engaging in your relationship and asking each other good questions, that'd be my encouragement.

Yeah. Me and Amy have been doing every. It's every Sunday night. We end up doing this where we do what's called a marriage journal. And I think it's Jeremy and Audrey Roloff have this like little marriage journal. And it's something you do every week that's got a little, little kind of devo thought. And then you map out your calendar for that week and then it asks those specific questions like, what's something that brought you joy? What was hard? What's something you've been dreaming about this week? How can I pray for you? What can I do for you this week? And so being really intentional is definitely something that we're seeing fruit from as well. So I would totally echo that one. Another thing too is like maybe set a goal. And we were talking about measurable. Right. Specific goals using the S's, staying on point with your sermon that we're preach, like make something specific. Like, I want to spend time with one friend every week. And maybe that's not coffee or a movie or dinner or lunch or something like that. Maybe it's a 15 minute phone call on your way to work. Way to work or way home from work. Or maybe you decide to tack on after growth group, you guys go out for ice cream or whatever it may be. Spend some intentional time really pouring into the people around you. Like you were talking about that being intentional. And make it a goal to at least connect with one person per week. And I think that we'll find that as we press into that, it's like, oh man, I need to do this more. Like, this is cool. I need to talk to so and so and so and so and really branch out and we'll see that. You know, we talk about isolation being such a difficult thing to shake and such a thing that pushes you into addiction and unhealthy behavior. And so I think that just setting a goal of connecting with one person starts to kind of open the door more and we step out of isolation way more often.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making those relationships a priority, it doesn't come naturally, but it's something that can be a real game changer. Another thing, and it's interesting because a quote that has stuck with me since I was a teenager was someone who said, nothing will change. You will be essentially the same person 10 years from now as you are, except for two things. The people you know and the books you read that they said it's the people you know and the books you read that influence you. So let's talk about that. What are some book recommendations we might give to our, our listeners for 2020?

Yes, I love this question we have talked about in the podcast before. I love to read, which I didn't always love to read. And I'm going to tell this little story before I give the recommendations. I heard a podcast years and years ago with CJ Mahaney who said that there are men and women sitting on your shelf just waiting to disciple you and to teach you. You just have to be willing to open the book and listen. And for me, I used to hate reading until I heard that. And I was like, oh my gosh, okay. I've always wanted to grow and develop. Maybe I needed to crack some books open. And, you know, the more you read, the more you seem to love it. A couple books for me, I have three of them. The first one is, and it's something we've read a lot of staff has read. We've gotten into the Enneagram a little bit. It's called the Road Back to youo by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. I love it because the Enneagram is such a great self awareness tool. I mean, we use that language a lot here on staff. And if you've listened to the podcast, you know, people know our numbers for sure, but it's definitely something that you start to learn about yourself and the filter that you have and what your motivations are. But then you also learn about the people around you. So it helps you be better in relationship. So that's my first one, one that just came out recently, man, which has totally rocked me. By John Mark Comer. It's called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry talks about how really secularism, atheism, they're not what are destroying spiritual growth today. What's destroying spiritual growth and development is actually the hurry and the hustle of our life in the Western culture, especially in the church. It's just becoming more and more of a thing. And so walks through four spiritual disciplines that really, really help for me. I feel like it's one of the books that I will continue to read every year and has changed my life already implementing stuff. So I would check that one out. And then the last one is called the Culture Code by Daniel Coyle. This book has even helped me just as a leader in my department and as a friend. And one of the big things is just what kind of belonging cues am I giving off? Like, so when someone comes to my office, are my doors open and do I have a smile on my face? Or are my doors always closed? And when someone knocks, I'm like, what is it? Come in. There are certain things that we can do to affect the culture around us. And so those are the three that I have. I know you've got some. Let's hear them.

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. I like what you said at the beginning there, because I just saw that Randy Alcorn on one of his social media platforms said he talked about books like spending time with someone and compared it to are we going to spend time with this television show or movie? It was convicting. I was like, oh, that's good. I need to spend more time with really good people. Yeah, the three. And this first one might sound like some promotion of the ministry, but honestly, I mean it when I say this was probably my favorite book this year was how to talk with your kids about sex by our friends Rodney and Tracy Wright. Just their vulnerability, their humor, their Honesty, and it's, you know, the season of life I'm in with kids and raising that. I just. I took so much out of that that encouraged me as a dad and a parent and am still trying to implement some of the things I took out of there.

Totally.

My second favorite book of the year was Another friend of ours, Mo Ism and her book Sex Jesus and the Conversations the Church Forgot. I appreciate the book so much because it's written by a female addict and there's not enough of those stories out there. It's. It's helping normalize the behavior in terms of recovery and facing it without normalizing the sin or making it okay. And she really just beautifully presents the inner workings of the gospel and our recovery story. And so I'd recommend it for men and women, but I just. I think she's a great voice in this area. And then a third one that's been a favorite of mine for a long time, but I've been rereading it this year, is a book called awareness by Anthony DeMello. He's not a Christian author per se, so you got to, you know, kind.

Of everyone just gasped.

Take the good parts and spit out some of the not great parts, because he is speaking about spirituality. But what I love about the book is the way he provides some insight into what we latch onto for identity and our sense of belonging, and how do we become aware of those things and learn in a healthy way to let go of them and to move past them. He's the one. I may have used it on the podcast, but tells the story of that. This. This. A friend of his who did spiritual mentoring in India said, all the prostitutes come to me and talk about nothing but God, and all the priests come to me and talk of nothing but sex. And he goes on to point out how the very thing that we're fighting against, we're giving energy to, and that the way through something isn't to fight against it, it's actually to see through it. To see through it, and then it'll drop away from our lives and little insights like that, that he's just a very unique storyteller in mind. And so for anyone in recovery, it's a little book. Every chapter is only like two, three pages. So it's a great thing to just kind of chew on and encourage you to pick that one up. And one that's on my list to get for this year is Malcolm Gladwell's new book, how to Talk to Strangers. So I'm really hoping that shows up in my stocking because he's one of my favorite authors. And I'm looking forward to that one.

Listen, you should get that for me as a present because you're being more intentional about our friendship.

So, mom, if you listen to this podcast and you didn't get it, it's okay. Yeah, I'll just get it on Amazon. Gosh.

Okay, so that's great. So last question, and this is really. Just open it up. Like, is there anything going into 2020 you think our listeners need to hear any encouragement thoughts? What do you think?

You know, the thing that comes to mind, especially as we're talking about resolutions and goals and plans? I think in this area, we can get hard on ourselves. We can get down, we can be frustrated. And my encouragement of learning to be gracious with yourself and not in a laissez faire, oh, who cares? Nothing matters. I'm just going to be who I am, whatever. But no having grace for. I didn't hit the mark, but I'm okay. I'm going to keep moving forward. I'm going to keep growing because of. And I say that because of how much I'm seeing in my own life, that the way I treat myself becomes the way I treat you and the way I treat others. And that when I'm not happy about the way I'm acting in my marriage, how I'm treating my wife or my kids, Yep, I'm. I'm seeing over and over. It starts with how I'm feeling about myself. So I'm feeling a lack of perfectionism, and I put perfectionism on them. I'm feeling like I'm not, you know, getting stuff done, and so I put it on them to get stuff done. And I think that's just true for all of us, that the way we feel about ourselves tends to become the way we treat others. And so if. If I can learn and we all can learn, I'm going to be gracious on myself. I'm going to, like Harry Flanagan said a couple of podcasts ago that we need to talk to ourself like we're talking to someone we love. I thought that was so good because that becomes how we treat others. So that'd be my encouragement. As you think about resolutions and growth and this great person I'm going to become, that you're probably going to hit some speed bumps. Some of it's not going to go as well as you thought. And in those moments, be good, be gracious to yourself, because that'll impact how you treat other people. And I think it'll give you courage to get back to whatever your goal was and say, you know what? I'm just, I'm going to keep working on it.

Yeah. I think the only thing I'd add to that is just take advantage of the year. Like take advantage of 2020 and be proactive, not reactive, which is really hard to do. But if we proactively put things into place and everything we've set up into this point, if we are actively and intentionally being proactive about what we want, like, think about where you want to be in five years and backtrack. What are things you can do now that you know are going to set you up for or five years later. So I just think be proactive. And that's such a hard thing, but I think that that's what we all need. Be more proactive, not reactive. So, Nick, look, man, we just wrapped 2019's podcasts episode 130. We are now done.

High five. Another year. High five. Wow. Whole year in the bag. Way to go.

So thanks for your time. Appreciate it.

Always glad to be here.

Yeah. And 2020 is. Listen, gonna be another opportunity for you to press into your message, wade into the difficulty of life. But we know that when we do that healing is possible. So let's take advantage of those moments, hear the voice of the Lord and see where he wants to lead us. We know that where he wants to take us is going to be a good place. And we would just also hope that you or anyone you know understands that pure desire is here to help create a roadmap for your healing. If you or someone you know is looking for help, go to PureDesire.org and start your healing journey. If you haven't subscribed to the podcast, do it. It's free forever, ever. Just subscribe. Just do it. Nike slogan. Also write a review, help others find the podcast. And lastly, never stop being healthy.