236 - Bold Intimacy (Summit '21)

You're listening to the Pure Desire Podcast, your safe place to find hope, healing, and freedom from sexual addiction, betrayal, and relationship issues.

What is up, people?

I am your host, Trevor Windsor, and you're listening to episode 236 of the Pure Desire podcast here. Joining me virtually, and that happens, you know, only every so often, is my co host, Nick Stumbo.

Oh, my Cron.

Okay.

Or is it Omicron? Omicron.

Omnicron.

Omicron. Yeah, I kept thinking it was omni, because, you know, omnipresent. You know, we use all these terms for God, These all knowing, all present. And I feel like this should be omni something. It's all everything right now.

Omnis suck.

Yeah.

Okay, so is that what cron means in the Greek?

Probably. If it doesn't, then I'm gonna. I'm gonna talk to somebody. So today's episode is unique.

In, like.

There'S really no way around it. Covid has recently visited both Nick and I's families, and so we are recording this one, this intro via Zoom, and the episode's gonna be a little bit different, but Nick, today we wanted to feature one of our favorite people, one of our favorite speakers, Rodney Wright. We wanted to feature his session from the 2021 Pure Desire Summit.

That's right. I would say also, it has impacted families all over our state, and countryman numbers are just going crazy right now. And so we have a lot of really good podcast episodes coming up soon that had to be put on hold because of this. So instead, we're getting to feature Rodney. And what we feel is just the kind of message, when everyone heard it at the summit, was stellar and felt like this would be a great thing to share and a way to promote that. As far away as it seems, the 2022 summit is just around the corner. It's coming up. We're excited. We are, really. Is six months just around the corner? I don't know. I'm excited.

Yeah, it's definitely. We are really excited. We're excited because of how well the summit did last year. Having the virtual component, having as many people as we were able to in person, it was just an awesome experience. But before we get to Rodney's session and before we talk a little bit more about the summit, a few things as regular, subscribe to the podcast. If you're not already, just do it. Honestly, it'll be the COVID gift for me this season. Just subscribe, write a review. Those reviews mean a lot to us. You can also follow us on social media. PureDesire PDMI, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. And then we can also search. We will not have this full episode up on YouTube this week as it's a unique one. But most of our episodes are up. Just search Pure desire ministries on YouTube and then Nick, we've already talked about it. The 2022 summit. This is, this is just obviously a great opportunity. But for some of those people that are planners that like to think through their year pretty early on, this is something that is really good that we do have registration already open. We are going to be at Harvest Christian Church again in Troutdale, Oregon September 16 and 17. And why don't you tell people a little bit about what is coming in the 2022 Pure Desire Summit?

Yeah, for those that would like to come in person, it's just 15 minutes from the Portland airport, so it's nice and convenient that way. Taking place September 16 and 17, so mark your calendars for that. We have some really great speakers already lined up that we're going to be announcing I think over the next couple of months as we kind of preview some of their talks on this podcast. And it's always we just feel like it's a rallying cry for Pure Desire for people to come and get fresh wind in their sales, to interact with other people that are on the same journey, whether you're in your first year or your 10th year, to be encouraged by the PD staff and get to hear from a lot of them in breakout sessions. And whether you're, I think in person or online, it just does something for that sense of community, of feeling. Like my story though, it has definitely uniqueness to it that I'm not alone, that what I'm going through, what I'm experiencing, whether I'm a leader, a group member, a betrayed spouse, all the feelings and things I'm facing, there's other people that are in the midst of that too. And when we gather together, I think it just does something for all of us. So I hope those planners and non planners alike can make plans to be at the summit in September.

Absolutely. So if you register now, you do get some of the early bird pricing. You go to PureDesire.orgSummit22 again PureDesire.orgSummit 22 all right, here is Rodney Wright's session from the 2021 Pure Desire Summit titled Bold Intimacy.

I just want to start by saying I'm going to give you some things to consider. Thomas Kuhn wrote a book called the Structure of Scientific Revolution and he coined this phrase paradigm shift, which in the scientific world. What is equal to that is learning something new, a shift in direction. In faith communities, we kind of call that conversion. One one way of thinking and then being converted to another way. A shift. And how many know from time to time, it's good to get kicked in the paradigm. You know what I'm talking about? It's good to just get some things and ask some questions. And so I'm just going to share from my experience and. But I just would encourage you to what's left of your prefrontal cortex, to turn it on and just begin to think with me and consider I'm simply one pastor and one voice from one tribe offering my. My perspective on who this God is and what this God is trying to do in our lives. So, you know, it's a big, big tribe. The body of Christ. How many you know that? And it's been going on for thousands of years. And so I'm just grateful that I get to add my voice to the conversation today. And if something resonates with you, take it. And if it doesn't, it's okay. You can just let that go. Are we fair with that? But you don't have to say Heil Hitler at the end. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You don't have to worship the stage. You're believers in the body of Christ, and I encourage you just to be a part of this process of thinking and let the Holy Spirit lead you. That has been my prayer for all of us today. So, anyway, let's jump in. Bold intimacy. Bold intimacy. So the word bold is the ability of showing risk. Showing the ability of risk. It's about confidence. It's about being courageous. Right? Bold intimacy. When you think of bold, I don't know what comes to your mind. Maybe somebody that has bold clothes on. Right? Or a bold hairstyle. How many? Remember the beehives that they used to wear back in the 70s? My mom had one of those. Right. That was really bold. And so bold comes in all kinds of ways and all kinds of different ways that we see things that are bold. And so this intimacy. Jenna talked about this yesterday. Intimacy is that word into me. You see, I love that definition. We use that all the time in our pure desire language. It's just knowing and being known. And I think this is where culture confuses it. They think in order to be intimate, you have to be sexual. And I think this is a big, big challenge for the younger generation that's growing up in a sexualized, hornified culture. They think that being intimate is being sexual. But as we grow and mature, we know that we can be intimate without being sexual. How many know what I'm talking about? We can be single and be very, very intimate. Sometimes I say, I have a number of intimate female relationships and there's a gasp in the crowd. But then I say, only one is sexual. It's with my wife Tracy. But I'm very intimate with my mother and my daughter and my sister. In other words, we know and be known, but it's not sexual. Then I say, I have a number of male intimate relationships and there's really a gasp. Oh boy, Rod, you needed more help than we realized. They're intimate, but they're not sexual. If you've been in a seven pillar group or an unraveled group, or a betrayal and beyond group, there's some beautiful intimacy that goes on. You can show up and be seen in those groups. And I like this week because. Or this weekend because I felt like we all the people I spoke with and the opportunity I had to interact, we got to just show up and be seen this week and be real. And we were sitting at dinner yesterday and a friend of mine, James, was sharing. He started crying at dinner, right? And guess what? The whole table started crying. It was beautiful. And it wasn't like we tried to stop it, like, here, give him Kleenex's Hurry, stop those tears. I'm uncomfortable. It was like we just joined in to party because we all felt that. And it created a level of intimacy. So bold intimacy. The willing to risk. Well, I want to start with a little bit of theology. I love these discussions and I'll try not to get lost in this, but just give us some things to think about. Number one is we were designed for intimacy. So I raised this question, what's God like? Well, I'm a pastor, so you know that I'm close to God and I have barbecues with God. And me and God talk about all of you often. What is the shape of God? What is God like? In Genesis chapter one, you know, the scripture starts with in the beginning God. It's the word Elohim. And in this term it's used singular. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. But as you continue to read in the Genesis narrative, you get down to verse 26 and 27. Elohim speaks, and Elohim says this. Let us plural language create man in our image, in our likeness. So this God is singular, but yet this God is plural more than one. Who is this Us that's at this conversation and happening to speak these words and starting this dialogue that's recorded in the book of Genesis. Well, it's interesting, when you study church history, we've come up with a term called the Trinity, right. God the Father, God the. And God the. Now this is fascinating to me as a student of church history as I've dived into this. We think of the early patristics, the early theologians, John and Polycarp, and those that followed these early disciples all the way through the Catholic Church. And then the big split in the year, I think 1014, and the Orthodox branched off from the Catholic Church. And then in the 1500, guess what was born in the 1500s? The Protestant church. Right. And most of us would probably a part of the Protestant denominations and we've split into thousands of different groups. Right. Denominations. Right. Because we all see this book called Scripture just a little bit differently. And how many know that your tribe is the one that's got it all? Right. In fact, I think it's hard for us. It's hard for me to admit that I may not have it all figured out just exactly the way the author intended it. But I'm grateful that I can look at the inerrant, infallible, authoritative word of God. And when he was 18, he grew a beard and his name was Jesus. God is exactly like Jesus. Can I get an amen on that one? Jesus came to reveal God. In fact, Jesus didn't come to save us from God. Jesus came to reveal God as Savior. And to me, the pinnacle of scripture is all in who Jesus is and what he claimed to be and what he taught us. Are we on the same page there? So for me, Jesus has to be our rabbi to help us understand the text. And Jesus was saying things like you've heard it say, but now I say, and Jesus was saying things like this. If you've seen me, you've seen the Father. Mind blowing. The Father and I are one. Well, the Jewish listeners would have known, the Jewish Shema, hero, Israel, that the Lord our God is one. And now Jesus is claiming to be one with Yahweh, with Elohim, this is mind boggling. Interesting. Paul the Apostle says in Colossians that Christ is the visible image of the invisible God and the fullness of the Godhead dwells in him, fully God and fully man. This was embraced by theologians all through the centuries of who Jesus was. He came to show us exactly what God is like. God is exactly like Jesus. The early church fathers in the 4th century, as they tried to coin a phrase of capturing Father, Son and Holy Spirit, they came up with this concept called the Trinity. Now, the amazing thing is that this is a doctrine that we all agree upon. Catholic, Orthodox are Protestant. How many know that's a miracle to begin with? Right there? We all agree on one doctrine, right? And it's a miracle that God is one yet in relationships. And the term that they coined came from the Greek theater of that day. And it's a term called parakaresis. Say that with me. Parakeriesis. And what that means is a circle dance. Crazy. Stay with me here. I'm not just a Californian going New Age on you. Just stay with me. It was a circle dance of relationship that they have with each other. In fact, those in the Celtic faith, they drew a little symbol that kind of symbolized this. And maybe you've seen the Celtic knot before. Have you seen this before? This is what they termed as what the Trinity was like, that they were three, yet they were one. That they were mutually indwelling without losing their distinctiveness. And they were mutually submitted one to another. I used to think that the Trinity had a hierarchy. There was like, you know, the Big Kahuna Father and his two sidekicks, Festus and Tonto, you know what I'm talking about. And then I realized that the early church fathers would say that would be heresy, that God is God in beautiful relationship. And there's a term that we use, and we use it even in our song, God in three persons. Blessed Trinity. Right? Well, we think of persons as one person, two person, three person. That word is actually moved from what it originally was. We think of three individuals. But the word person really comes again from the Greek theater. And the early church fathers in the 4th century coined this phrase personar. Persona, right. And what that was in the early, early Greek theater was Persona or personar was like a megaphone mask that the theater actors wore. And it was a mask. And purr is through and sonar is sound. So it was a sounding through that the Father sounds through the Son and the Son sounds through the Spirit, and the Spirit sounds through the Father. They were mutually indwelling, but yet they didn't lose their distinctiveness. Now stay with me here because it's mind boggling. It's hard to get our brain around this relationship. And I would propose today that what's most true about God is this beautiful connectedness and relationship. How many know when your relationships are going right? It's heaven on earth. Can I get a witness? Marriage, children, Co workers. And how many know when they're not going? Right? It's a little bit of living hell. Come on. Are you with me here? Online? Are you with me here? The relationship. So you could say it this way. In the beginning, the relationship existed that God is relational at God's core. It's fascinating that in this trinitarian relationship they're mutually submitted one to another. Isn't that beautiful? When you have relationships that are submitted one to another, that's not a trick question. Isn't it beautiful women when your husbands submit to you? Like, I don't know, this feels like a setup right here. I'm not saying a word. I'm. Hold, hold, hold. You know, the Bible says, submit one to another. And guess what guys? We're one of those others. And you know what the best definition of leadership that I ever heard means? Go first. So guess who submits first? We submit like God did, right? God came to earth in Christ. And Christ submits his life for humanity. Isn't that beautiful? The humility of God. The. The God who submits. The God who not through strength and force conquers, but the God who lays down his life. The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. World. The humility of God. To me, that's so beautiful. And this relationship is what we see. They're mutually indwelling, but they don't lose their distinctiveness. They're three in one. It's where we get this concept. In marriage, a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. And the two shall become mutually indwelling. It's the sexual metaphor. But even beyond that, the emotional, the connection. Mutually indwelling without losing their distinctiveness. It's beautiful. And I would propose to you that we were made in their image. We were designed to have intimate relationships. Into me, you see, Submitted one to another, right? No hierarchy. Oh, different roles and different functions. But all with this beautiful heart. To love and to serve. In fact, one of the early followers of Jesus, John, said it this way in First John 4. Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God. And everyone that loveth is born of God. And if you don't love, you don't know God. For God is what doesn't just have it. It's the very character and nature of God is love. In fact, here's a great definition. Other centered self giving love. That the Father, Son and Spirit, they love each other and they didn't create us because they needed someone to love. Love already existed in their Relationship. And it was out of their heart of generosity, of goodness, of benevolence, that they created us so that we could participate. We're sounding through. That person sitting next to you is a sounding through of their mom and dad, right? Made in their image. I have a daughter that looks just like me. And she's beautiful, nothing short of a miracle. She is a gorgeous lady, and she's made in my image and the image of her mom. And our lives are sounding through. And guess what? Your life is. You're sounding through of your mom and dad. But even greater, you're a sounding through of the divine. Because you and I were made in their image. And when they made us five times in Genesis, it's good, it's good. It's good. When it came to humanity, it's very good. You were made for intimate relationships. You were designed this way. That's the way God is. John, chapter one, verse one. In the beginning was the Word. The Word was with God. That's the term. Face to face. Pros in the Greek. Not just side by side, but the Word was face to face of the same being. And the Word became flesh. God entered our world. And the angel said this. You will call his name Emmanuel, which means what? God is with us. I kind of thought that when the Trinity got together and saw what had happened, they. They had a huddle and said, okay, timeout. They ate the apple. Get over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we going to do? And they drew straws and Jesus said, hey, how come I got the short straw? And they said, I don't know, but it sucks to be you. Somebody's got to go. We're choosing you, Emmanuel. God with us. The early church fathers saw it a heresy that you could ever split the Trinity. That God is relationship at God's core. I know. Just stop and ponder and pause. That God was in Christ the fullness, fully God and fully man. Hard to conceive, isn't it? Right? And we were made in their image. And Jesus really shows us how to have those intimate relationships. So we were made in their image. And my second thought is just that we're worthy of love. You and I are worthy of love. That God creates what he loves and he loves what he creates. Do you believe that? That God creates what he loves and loves what he creates. And that Jesus really came not to this earth to change the mind of God about humanity. Hey, God, they're worth saving. Hold off there. Jesus came to change the mind of humanity about God. He came to show us what God's like, if you've seen me, you've seen the father. We're one. It's really a beautiful thing that what sin or trauma does, that we've learned in this session of this weekend is that trauma or sin distorts our ability to see our worth and see the worth of others and ultimately seeing God for how God is that we are worthy of love. I didn't feel that way. I kind of got a little bit more of what Jenna talked about, that there's nothing worthy in me. And I've changed a little bit on that. In just a few months, my daughter will give birth to my little grandson. The first one the tribe grows. And my son in law is studying to be a physician's assistant. He has an iPhone with a device that he plugs in. It looks like the size of a razor. And it's an ultrasound that he bought that connects to his iPhone. How cool is that? So I've already been FaceTiming that little guy, and we built quite a relationship. He texted me the other day and said, I'll see you in a week. Hang on. Right? And we can see him. And he used to have a tail. I saw it. That little guy's got two legs now and feet. Isn't that cool? He's made in the image. And if you try to tell me that my grandson isn't worthy of love, guess what? I'll tell you. That dog don't hunt. He's completely worthy of love because he's made in the image of his mom and dad. Intrinsically, he hasn't done anything. He's just worthy of love because of who he is. God creates what he loves and loves what he creates. And someone just needs to hear this today because you don't feel it or believe it. You are worthy of being loved. The addict, male or female, who's made so many mistakes and feels worthless, you are worthy of being loved. The betrayed spouse, you are worthy of love. You are the beloved of God. Intrinsically, you are loved. And we see this in Jesus. Well, I didn't feel this way. It was almost 25 years ago in this town just across the city in Portland, Oregon. I was a young pastor and struggling with my managing my sexuality in healthy ways. And I was doing all that I could. And in the 80s, we had some really fire and brimstone preachers. And I got saved one time, twice in two services, in one service. I mean, somehow I backslid by the time I got back to my seat and had to come back down and Re up again. You know, we got saved every Sunday night at the church I grew up in. And I remember coming forward feeling so convicted because of pornography and not knowing how to manage this part of my life. And I would come to altars and I would cry my eyes out and promised God, hoping to tip the repentometer. How many know what I'm talking about, that God would see that Rodney writes sincere and offer a little grace to help me. Really what I have come to understand is I was just showing godly sorrow and I didn't want this behavior and I didn't know what else to do within my religious confines. First of all, in my upbringing, Christians couldn't have addictions, especially in our Pentecostal circles, because we had the Holy Spirit more than any of you. All that weren't Pentecostal because we spoke in tongues. It was the magic instant power that just took everything away. And I was participating it. I'm not against it. I'm simply saying I put a lot of eggs in that basket trying to get it to do what I don't think it was completely meant to do for us. And I did everything I could. I fasted, I prayed, I read my Bible. I promised God I'll never do it again. And then I confessed. I confessed to my brother, 20 months older. Ultimately, I confessed to my father, who was this pastor of a large church in the 70s, you know, and thinking that, well, this must do it. And again I was on that bench per cycle. And finally I just said to the Lord, I even sent 50 bucks to a TV preacher because he said if I sent him money, this problem would be gone. And I need to get the courage to write him a letter and ask for a large donation for pure desire. That's what I need to do. How many will help me write that? Anybody? Help me write that letter. Okay, okay. All right, we got to get that guy because I know he's got a big jet and he's got some resources there, so we got to get him. But I was doing whatever I could within my religious circle. And I believe there's those moments where God meets us at an altar. I'm not disconnecting that. But I didn't understand this whole piece of the brain issue and the whole piece of understanding how to integrate God in my traumas and in my sexuality. I had no context of integration in that way. And I remember saying to God on the front row, shirt and tie, 27 year old youth pastor, I'm about to tap out. God send me to people and resources that could help me. And it was a drummer at church who was a sexual trauma assessment treatment therapist. How many know that's a mouthful for a Pentecostal kid who's used to just getting it all done at the altar. And I felt the Holy Spirit say, rodney, that guy's going to help you. Go see him. And I said to not just the Holy Spirit. I wanted to make sure the father and son were listening too. Only people that go to him are messed up. And I felt like they all said in unity. Yep, that's right. And that's why we're sending you to him. Shame. Not only was I a poor Christian that couldn't jump over the Christian bar, I was a poor minister that couldn't jump over the bar either. God had obviously wasted a draft pick on me. I should have been something else. I felt worthless, unworthy of love. How many know that's what sin and trauma and addiction does. It just makes you feel worthless. Anybody identify with me here in the room or on that? But there was this hope in me that said this wasn't about Rodney getting caught. I just said, I can't keep going down this incongruent road anymore. There's a value and God, if you can lead me to people and resources that can help me. I went to that counselor on a Tuesday and I just wanted to be fixed by Friday. Can I get a witness? Can I get a witness? Come on, just fix me by Friday. I wanted that quick fix, that magic. I wanted to be slain. Blow on me. Do whatever. Put a clock. Whatever you got to do, man. Fix me. Grace plus time. What's the equation that. That Keith taught us this morning? Right. Just that whole process of growth and transformation. My therapist was really smart. He used some adjectives to help deconstruct my religion. I'll say it that way. And he said, rodney, if you give yourself to this process in years you will begin to retrain your brain and transform. And that started a three year process. $70 a pop every two weeks, saying, I'm going to walk down this road. And we went through Patrick Carnes book Out of the Shadows. And that. That became the beginning. Six months later, I brought Tracy into the mix of what was happening. And that's a whole nother story. We don't have time to. But it was a long process. Can I get a witness on that? Of going down the right direction? Can you help me? Of learning how to have holistic spirituality, integrating the way of God and starting with my core beliefs. Number one, beliefs about myself, beliefs about others, and beliefs about God. And I was thinking, let's not talk about my beliefs. I'm trying to fix my behavior. I wanted to focus on this. And he was like, we're going to spend most of our time unpacking what you believe about God, self and others. And I didn't believe I was worthy of love. I didn't believe I was the beloved of God. That God fully anticipated Rodney Wright, and he fully anticipated the 80s, as I say, a whole decade. If you have your Bibles, turn to Ephesians, chapter one. Someone texted me, heil Hitler. Thank you, Mike. That's funny. Ephesians 1, verse 4. It's not on the screen, but listen to this. Even before God made the world, God loved Rodney. Put your name in there. God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy without fault in his eyes. He decided in advance to adopt us in his own family by bringing us to himself through Christ. This is what he wanted to do. It gave him great pleasure. Do you hear that? That God already. Christ was never plan B because of a problem. Christ was always plan A. Here's a thought to ponder on. You were found in Christ long before you were ever lost in Adam. God fully anticipated your struggle in mind. It did not take God by surprise. And God had already made provision. They had already decided that heaven would do whatever it took to go after us. Isn't that beautiful? It was already in the heart of God to go get those lost sheep. They had already set that in motion before the foundations of the world. They chose to love us and adopt us and their family through Christ, not because they had to. Okay, dad, I'll go if you want me to. The son said no because it's what they wanted to do. Because that's what love does. Why? Because we are the beloved sons of daughters of God and we are worthy of love. I just hope you can see that today, that you're worthy of love, for God so loved the world. John 3:16. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting men's sins against them. This is the beauty of that, that you are worthy of love. Well, in my journey, I had some different ways of processing my emotions and my sexuality. I learned some health and some sobriety at certain levels. But what I didn't have is freedom from my shame because I was a minister. And there wasn't just a whole lot of us ministers getting on the stage, sharing their negative sexual history. You know, the market's not flooded with People like us, because it's scary how many know what I'm talking about. And I had a lot of shame. This friend of mine named Joe McCarthy, he came to our church. He was 20 years AA, and Joe went through celebrate Recovery. And at the end of the graduation that I spoke, he came to me on this side and said, hey, we. What are you doing about pornography and sexual addiction in our church? And I had a real spiritual answer. Well, Joe, my wife and I teach a class because we want to help the next generation understanding and managing your sexuality. He said, okay, that's great, but you want to go to Pure desire training with Dr. Ted and Diane and learn about Pure Desire Ministries because they're helping churches deal with this. And I felt that same prompting like I felt when I God pointed out the drummer. I felt this invitation, Rodney, do you want to come and participate in something I'm doing to heal humanity? And I said to Joe, I'll go. He said, great. Now, he'd only been saved a year. He didn't know we don't talk about sex in church. He didn't even know that rule yet. And here he was using the word pornography in the house of God, in the sanctuary. I'm like, don't you even. You obviously don't know religious etiquette. We went and I sat down there in that Presbyterian church in Spokane, and Dr. Ted and Diane got up and they talked about the neuroscience of the brain and how the brain can be retrained. And they call this neuroplasticity. And the Bible calls this repentance. And they were talking about our traumas, those things that we try to cope with. And they talked about many times our addiction is just a coping mechanism because we don't know how to heal from the underlying issues of pain. And I went, these people, they understand what I went through through Dr. Patrick Harnes. And I saw someone integrate the clinical studies with the scriptures. And they saw them both as spiritual. Catch that it was holistic. And it's an approach of how we heal. And I was like, we're bringing this to our congregation in Idaho. I got on stage, I shared my story with our congregation about getting help. But then I had to lead the first seven pillar group. I was going to get with a group of men other than my wife and my therapist and share my story. And I was so afraid. Anybody know what I'm talking about? And in fact, I had another guy from Spokane come and help me, because I wasn't sure I was doing it right after about Three months. He said, you got this. You're going to solo pilot. From here on out, I'm out of here. And in that group, here's what happened. Two people showed up. Joe and my buddy, John Jameson, Ashley's husband. And those guys shared their story. And guess what? The Christ, the true self, the image of Jesus in them, began to speak to my lies of shame. And they weren't even pastors, and yet they were offering hope and healing. And the Christ in me rose up and began to speak to the lies that they believed. And it was like a beautiful pinball machine as the Holy Spirit was working and helping and healing. And now I learned that as we circled the chairs, as we were confidential, that I was finding healing from my shame. And it was a beautiful thing. Brene Brown, if you deny your story, it defines you. But when you own it, what does she say? You can write a brave new ending because you're worthy of love. And those guys helped me see I was worthy of love. In fact, when we first started helping our denomination with this, I traveled with Joe and Ashley because I knew that I loved these guys and they were cool. So if they were cool, then maybe I was cool. And when they shared their story, they didn't have any shame. And I thought, well, I'm with them. Yeah, I'm just like them, right? And it was so beautiful how in community we find healing. I would propose this. What doesn't heal us is platforms. What does heal us is circle dances of intimacy. It's funny, in Western church, we build a lot of these. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them. I'm just saying we put a lot of eggs in these baskets, don't we? But you know what I found that transforms me the most? A therapist, a spouse that I could be intimate with, and a whole bunch of group of men that I've done group with now for eight years, where we show up and we circle the chairs. Even on zoom, we circle the chairs and we show and we're known. And we say into me, we see and we end with, guys, you're all worthy of love. Every single one of you is worthy of being loved and being healed. And it's beautiful and it's transformative. And can I get a witness that this is happening for anybody else in the room or online? Right. It's the good news. It's the good news that Jesus hasn't just come to sell hell insurance, but help us with the hell we're living in. But it's the Risk of love. It's the risk of believing that you're worthy of love. Well, I like this quote by C.S. lewis. To love it all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrong and possibly broken. If you want to make sure to keep it intact. You must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around the hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it safe in the casket or coffin of selfishness. And in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless. It will change, will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers is, or perturbations of love is hell. Interesting. And then Jesus says, if you. Or the scripture says, if you make your bed in hell, I am there. God says that maybe love just pursues us and when it does, you will embrace it and realize that you're worthy of love. And I have a different thought about Christians and addictions, because I didn't think Christians had addictions. Now I think the whole world's addicted and that sin is this universal problem. We're all addicted to our way of thinking, and most of it is we think we're right about things that we're not right about. It's a universal problem. So guess what I've discovered. The whole world, especially the church, needs recovery. And recovery isn't for those people in our congregation. Recovery's for everybody. We all need recovery. And when that light went on in my brain, the shame began to heal even more because. Because, oh, this is a common need that we all have. And so I was being invited into this bold intimacy about the healing journey. Well, we were made for intimacy. When we find it, it's beautiful that we're worthy of love. And my last thought here is that we're invited to participate. This is a interesting painting that's on your picture there on page 61. It'll be on the screen here, too. We are invited to participate. This is a portrait by an artist by the name of Andrei Rublev, 14th century Orthodox, Russian Orthodox artist. This picture, the original actually hangs in Russia. And what's interesting about this photo, it's a picture of the Trinity. Maybe not the kind of art that many of us would choose, but it's in the days where art was a part of communicating because of illiteracy and just a lack of scriptures that people had, they used art to tell the story. So this is a picture of the Father The Son and the Holy Spirit. And they're sitting around a table and there's a bowl there where they're partaking in this. And in the 14th century, this had really great meaning. And on the original painting, the original icon, there's a little triangle. Do you see it in your page there? Do you see it on the front by the knees? There's a little triangle, a rectangle, I should say, on that art. And what they noticed as they studied the original piece of art was there was like some adhesive or glue that stuck on the original piece of art. And they studied it and they looked it under a microscope and they said, this is a. This is an adhesive. This is a glue substance. And here's what they. Here's what they. They came to reason that the artist did something that's never been done to original work of art. He put glue on the art and then put a mirror there. So that when you would come and you would see the relationship of the triune God mutually indwelling without losing distinctiveness, mutually submitted one to another in this beautiful circle dance of relationship, guess what you saw seated at the table next to them. There's a place for you at the table. It was the invitation that Andre Rublev. That's Holy Ghost. Go Goosebumps right there. You see him? I felt it. How many felt it? I felt it. Whoo. I love it. There was an invitation that whoever looked there was hearing the invitation of the Father, Son and spirit that what we partake in, we've created this for you. I love that. I love that God's not needy and didn't create us humans out of need, but God created us so that we could participate in their love, that we could love like them. You know, sometimes I think when we get to heaven and we're singing to God, you're great, you're great, you're great. And I turned to Dr. Ted and said, how long do we have to sing to God and tell him he's great? Ted says, I think for eternity. I'm like, boy, this is like a Sunday night service that'll never end. Think about this. What if we get to heaven and we're expressing our love to God? Because God is love. It's the character nature of God, other centered self giving love. And the Trinity stopped of singing. And they say, hey, Ted Roberts, come up here. Ted comes up to the stage. They set Ted on a chair, and the Father, Son and spirit gather around Ted. And they say, ted, we knew you when you were conceived in your Mother's womb. We know the whole story about the strap. We got it all. You came from our heart and we wrote this song about you. Zephaniah 3:17. The Prophet said, God rejoices over us with singing. How many want to hear the song God wrote about you and the Father, Son and spirit, Ted together around you and say, ted, you are so worthy of love. We wrote this song just for you. And it's, I don't know, Nana, Nana, Nana, Batman, Ted's fast. You know, it's probably some. Probably some song In a sports car going 90 miles an hour, right? Like a fighter jet. But they hear the Trinity rejoice over. My brother Ted was singing and they say, ted, we didn't need anything from you. We created you so you could participate in this. And then Diane sets and then Rodney sets and is there anybody here that doesn't want to be in that seat to hear the divine rejoice over you with singing. And you, Ben, and you, Mike. Why? Because we're worthy of love. We're worthy of love. When my daughter Whitney was born, I was overwhelmed with emotion. You know, to worship is to kneel and adore. To worship is to ascribe worth. And I think it's so beautiful that God, that love is always two way, isn't it? It's giving and receiving. So the Trinity, they receive love, but they give love. And to think about God rejoicing over us with singing, wow, what a day that will be, this reciprocal love. When my daughter Whitney was born, I didn't physically get on my knees and adore her, but everything within this dad said, honey, I'm all in. I laid my checkbook on that little chest. It would have been my PayPal account now, but it was a checkbook back in those days. And said, honey, it's all yours. I was all in in loving her and my son Austin and my boy Keaton. And I'm an earthly dad that doesn't have it all figured out. That has some distortion in me, and yet I knew how to love like that. Where do you think that design comes from? Because guess there's a sounding through in Rodney. The Holy Spirit, the Father, the Son, sound through. And this portrait reminds us there's an invitation for you and I to sit at the table and partake Jesus prayer. John 17. Look at it on the last page. And I'm praying not only for these disciples, Jesus says, but for all of you who will ever believe through their message. And are attending the Pure Desire Summit in Troutdale, Oregon. Are Listening online. I'm praying for them as well. Jesus says, I pray that they will all be one as you and I are one. He says to the Father, as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. May they be in us so that the world will believe that you sent me and I have given them the glory you gave me. Just pause and think about that. Jesus is giving his glory away. My whole life I was raised and, Lord, we give you all glory. Amen. And then I read Jesus prayer and he's like, reverse it. I'm giving my glory to you. What's the glory of God? The character, nature of God? Do you know that if you reflect the glory of God, you're not going to be narcissistic walking around saying, hey, who needs to sing to me some praise right now? Guys, just lift your voice to me, would you? Because God's not narcissistic. Can I get an amen? God's not needy. If you're going to reflect the glory of God, it's the character and nature of God. And when you do that, guess what? You're going to have a service towel over your arm. You're going to submit to help people. You're going to be vulnerable. You're going to give yourself away because that's what they do. The glory of God is the fruit of the spirit. It's the essential character and nature of God. So of course God wants us to partake in their glory because we can sit at the table and be like them. And then he just says, may they be one as we are one. May they be mutually indwelling. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience perfect unity, that the world may know that you sent me and that you love them. What does it say? As much as you love me, you know how much God loves you. As much as the Father loved the Son, you are so worthy of love. I don't ever want to hear out of your mouth again. If you're around me, well, I'm worthy of nothing. I'll shut you down right then and there and I'll say, you're worthy of love, for God so loved you. I love that. It's George MacDonald, this theologian, Scottish theologian, who really influenced C.S. lewis. He said, it's by loving, not being loved that you can come nearest to the soul of others. So many of us are the prodigal that returned. Many of us are the older religious brother who had their own set of issues underneath the surface. Right. When my mom found out I had Struggled with pornography. I was the churchgoing kid of the five of us involved. Activated in all kinds of things. My mom says this. Dear God, all these years I've been praying for the wrong kid. How many know in the story of the prodigal son, both sons were lost. One was lost in the house and one was lost outside of the house. But the essence of the story isn't just that the sons come home or get healed. The essence of the story is that they become like the Father, that they now become invited to participate in loving. And that's what Andre Rublev was saying in his painting. The invitation for you and I is to listen to where God's inviting us to participate, enjoying. I've got a couple stories. Holy Spirit, tell me which one to share. I got on my bicycle in Coeur d', Alene, Idaho, a few years ago. Rode down to a barbershop getting my hair cut at Papa's Barber. And Tracy calls me, my wife, and says, hey, can you come downtown? It's about five miles, and could you get this and this? And I had my bicycle and I said, I can. I'm in line. It's going to take me some time, but I can get to it in a few hours. This barber says to me, hey. I get off the phone. He says, hey, I never met him. You can take my car. Just be back by five. I close by five. I think, man, I love Coeur d'. Alene. Who is this guy? His name was Barbara Dave. He opened up a shop there and moved up from Arizona about 20 years ago or so. It's the first year I was there. And so I kept going back to his shop because I was so intrigued by this guy and just built a friendship. I didn't tell him I was a pastor. That's how we roll, and that's how we should roll. Because that doesn't really matter at the end of the day. And I just was his friend. I remember going to the barbershop with my son, Austin. We got to the barbershop and he was going to get a haircut and myself as well. And there was this magazine rack up high. I walked over there and reach into it and guess what I found. Anybody got a guess? Home and Garden. Got you on that one. I found a Playboy. I found a Playboy. I felt it. I set it down. My son's in there. And I thought this. Well, God, man, I've had to navigate those waters. But I don't want to bring my son to a barbershop where he's going to have to navigate that. And I looked at that barber and thought, boy, we're out of here. This is the last time I'm going to ever come into establishment like this. And in all my self righteous I begin to walk out the door. Thank God I'm not like that man. And the Holy Spirit just seemed to stop me right as I went through the door and said, have you forgotten your journey Ron? You ever had those moments? And I was convicted by my self righteousness. And I went home and I started this three year relationship with this barber. Somehow, some way he found out a year later that I was a pastor at a local church. He asked if he could come. I said yeah. And a year later he showed up. A year later he came and he sat down and I happened to teach that weekend. He said you know what? You're the same guy in my barber chair as you are on stage. For me that represented a lot of growth. I'd come a long way. I thought this is great. Barbara dates coming to church. You know how we do another belt, another convert. And then he didn't come for three years, stopped coming. I kept going to his barbershop. The magazine rack kind of went down and the magazines weren't there anymore. He's going through a divorce, married another gal in the shop. I felt the call to participate to be his friend Rod, love him, just love him. So he comes the guy before Easter and he puts out a cigarette. He comes into church and I'm in the lobby with my friend Brandon and I felt this prompting and invite Barbara Dave on a missions trip to Honduras with the medical team. They're going to give away medical and dental work. And I want you to set up a barber shop with Dave and you and Dave cut hair. It was like that clear came to my heart, you know what I'm talking about, these promptings. I walk up to Dave and say, Dave, you and I have had a lot of people praying for us in our day. How about we be the answer to someone's prayer? Will you go with me to Honduras and let's set up a barbershop and, and let's cut kids hair and do something good to help someone else. Let's be the answer to someone's prayer. And he starts crying. He said no one has ever invited me to do anything like that. I'll go. I said, you will? Yeah, I'll go. I said that's great. He went into church. I went over to my friend Brandon and said hey, I just invited Dave to this Trip to Honduras, and I'm not even scheduled to go to Honduras. Have you ever got yourself one of those pickles? I haven't even talked to the doctor who's leading the medical brigade of what we're going to be doing. And my friend Brandon said, oh yeah, you're going. Took out his checkbook and says, here's a check for eighteen hundred dollars. Your way's paid. You're going crazy. A week before, the doctor and his wife and a bunch of friends were so nice and they got us all ready to get shots and get ready to go to Honduras, to the island of Roatan and do these medical outreaches. And Dave comes to me and he says, rodney, he says, I've known you for a while and I just want you to know I got to be straight with you. I can't be a good Christian. He said, I just can't be a good Christian. He says, you know, I. I know the doctor's wife. I've met her and a couple these other people he mentioned. He said, these are really good people, and I just can't be a good Christian. I just want to level with you. And I said, dave, I know those people. They're not near as good as you think. They're not that good. And I said to Dave, you know what, Dave? It was a great day when I gave up trying to be a good Christian. It's not what this whole thing's about. This is about just listening to the voice of love, drawing us to relationship and letting love do what love does in our hearts. And he said, well, that's why I actually come to your church, because it feels like a family reunion when I gather there. I mean, that's a beautiful compliment that there's a space at the table for you regardless of where you are. You can come and participate. We got shots. He went on the trip the first day. We cut 76 heads of hair. We had cords everywhere and makeshift barber chairs. And I had one style at my chair. You just got it all whacked off. And then whatever didn't look good. I just sent him to Dave. I look over there, he's got this big cigarette coming out of his mouth. He weighed about 290 and he's just got sweat dripping off him. He's about 74. And I just thought, oh God, don't let him have a heart attack right here and now. Don't ask me to get mouth to mouth resuscitation here. Lord, just keep him alive and keep him breathing. And he would Laugh. And we'd cut hair and we were bunk mates in the place where we stayed. And then he shared his story that night of being raised in New Jersey and his dad taking two by fours to him when he was a young boy and the traumas he went through that hurt him. I shared my story about navigating in my upbringing and pornography. And there was just this intimacy, this boldness to share. And he just responded back, talked about the things he had done that hurt others. Time he had spent in prison. He said, I'll teach you how to wash your clothes in the shower if you want. Just put them on the ground and step on them and put soap down there. It's kind of funny. I don't know why I even shared that, but I was kind of learned how to wash my clothes in the shower. Squirrel, focus. Okay, I'm back. And at the end of the trip, he was just amazed. But one of his barbers died. He had to leave early and go to Phoenix and was a good friend. And the years went by and Dave's relationship and I continued. And his daughter came back into his life. Oldest. He said, there's been some real changes in my life. He apologized to her for the wounds that he had caused her as a young girl because of his actions. How many know that's bold? Something inside of him was inviting him to participate. Then his original. His first wife. He had many. His first wife flew out from New Jersey and spent nine months with him because she's heard the story that this guy's changed. And she came there and was with him as his health was deteriorating. And Dave was not going to make it. He was on life support. And we went down to the hospital, and I'm sitting there with my buddy. Dave is hearing the beep. He's on a ventilator. And she says to me, jeannie, she had that Jersey accent. She called me Padre. Hey, Padre. You know, however they talk in Jersey, I don't know how they talk in Jersey. Hey, Padre. She said, you got your miracle. She's Catholic. I said, what do you mean? She says, you got your miracle. Said, what are you talking about? She said, well, you know, in the Catholic religion, if you witness a miracle, you're kind of like a saint. And I want you to know I know this guy. He was not a good guy. And I got to be with him the last nine months. And I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw it. This is a miracle. You got your miracle, Padre. You got your miracle. And Dave, we unplugged him. He probably was gone long before. But I go back to that day where I felt the invitation to participate with God. To build a friendship with somebody that mattered to God, that was worthy of love, who didn't feel worthy because of the pain and traumas of his life. He was just one starfish on the beach. But guess what? That one mattered. And I heard the call to participate. I heard the Trinity invite me to say, rod, you receive love. Now would you participate with us in loving some other people? And as I did that, it was beautiful to be a part to watch God begin to bring healing in other people's lives. To see my buddy Dave. Someday I'll get to see him again and we'll get to reminisce. We'll have a big old hug. It will be intimate. And here's the cool part. I was struggling being a parent in that season of my life. Guess who? Guess who was an image bearer of God. And that wisdom in him helped me. Barbara, Dave. Barbara Dave helped me be a better dad because of him. Isn't that fascinating? You go to help somebody else and guess what happens? You get helped in the process. It's the invitation for bold intimacy, for relationship. And I just pray today in this last minute of your time that you would listen to the promptings of the spirit for the invitation that God gives you to participate in loving someone else. For it's in loving that we are the most closest to another soul because we are showing them that they are worthy of love. So for all the group leaders that are here, for all the counselors that are in the room, for all the pastors and leaders that are hearing God's prompting to Kevin to start a movie and put something out there because somebody matters to God to lead a group in your church or to help your kids. And it just matters. So I don't know how long I have on this earth but I know this. I want to give myself to participate in that beautiful dance of relationship. I want to not just be loved. I want to participate in being like God and reflecting the glory of God which is living out other centered self giving love. I get to be a Joe McCarthy and a John Jameson to a religious person who still has shame. And I get to be a part of others healing journey. Thank you for letting me share my story. God bless you.

All right. As most of you know, Rodney Wright is amazing. Just a great speaker and a great heart. We love him. We are so thankful to have him on staff. And obviously that was a great way to end last year's summit. Again, we want to encourage you. Anybody who's interested in attending this year's summit, just go to PureDesire.org summit22. You can sign up now September 16 and 17 at Harvest Christian Church in Troutdale, Oregon. It's going to be a great time and as Nick mentioned, at the top, it is really just a rallying cry. It's an opportunity to gather together either online, virtually or in person to really just remind yourself that recovery is not something we do alone. It's going to be a great time. Again, go and register for this year's summit puredesire.org summit22 and wherever you're at on your journey, pure desire is here to help create a roadmap for your healing. If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual brokenness or betrayal trauma, go to PureDesire.org and let's start the healing journey today. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. Each week we put out new content to help you on the road to healing and freedom. And lastly, never stop being healthy.

Sam.