267 - Rebuilding & Restoring Lives

Welcome to the Pure Desire Podcast, helping you take back your life from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. Hello. Hello. I'm your host, Trevor Windsor, and you're listening to episode 267 of the Pure Desire podcast here. Joining me as always, is my co host, Nick Stumbo.

And his heart grew three sizes that day and he had the strength of ten. Ten plus two.

Dr. Seuss, how the Grinch Stole Christmas.

That's very good.

All right.

The Grinch's heart expanded through generosity.

Okay, so my question is, because I think I have a hot take on it, do you prefer the Jim Carrey version, which is the live action, or do you prefer the Benedict Cumberbatch animated version?

Which one's the Benedict Cumberbatch?

It's the animated one.

The one that's like the old school animated one?

No, it's the newer one.

Yeah, I like that newer one. I thought the. I connected with the humor in that newer one better. I thought they had some really good. Yeah, the snow is so loud.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

I just thought it gave kind of a little more human, ironically, to a non human character. The Grinch, the Jim Carrey one's so over the top. I mean, there's some good humor there too.

Jim Carrey's over the top. But listen, we still like Jim Carrey. Shout out Jim Carrey. Okay, so we had Rodney Wright, who's our advancement specialist, and we had John Beguman, who is. I can't even. What's his actual title?

He's our development manager.

Development manager. I don't want to get it wrong, but he is. They're both a part of raising funds. They're in our advancement department development area. And so we had them on today to talk about rebuilding and restoring lives through generosity.

Yeah, that's really the heart of the conversation, is to look at how in recovery, a part of our recovery is we move beyond the selfishness of sexual addiction. We. We become other centered and hopefully finding that man, what God has done in us and through us, whether we're the struggler or the betrayed spouse, when we're finding healing, there's something in us that just. That wants others to experience that as well. And in all the different forms of it, that's generosity. And so I hope for people today, wherever they're at, I know some people are listening and you're on the cusp of the front end of your recovery journey. Today's conversation may feel like, ugh, well, I'm nowhere near there, but I hope even for you, it's A little bit of that seed of vision, like this is something God can do through you, that right now you are just consumed appropriately with fixing your relationship or your struggle. But what God can do ultimately in you is taking you all the way, not only to your own recovery, but to the point you're saying, how can I help others? And so I hope for all of us that today's conversation just moves that needle forward to say, how can I be a part of helping others through what God has done in my life?

Absolutely. And we want to just make a quick connection to what we talk about a lot in the episode, which is Team 58. Nick. This is a group of people that have dedicated themselves to being monthly donors and are part of Team 58. Talk about the team a little bit.

Yeah. You know, in my recovery journey and for a lot of other men, when I met with Dr. Ted Roberts, he spoke a word over me from Isaiah 58, saying that as your healing comes quickly and breaks forth like the dawn, that you will be known. This is what Isaiah 58 says in verse 12, that some of you will be known as those who rebuild the broken walls and restore the fallen cities. And that vision of what God does in you to create healing becomes what God does through you to help rebuild and restore the lives of others. And so for us, that became Team 58 from Isaiah 58 to say, anyone who's a part of that monthly financial support, they're a part of rebuilding lives and restoring homes. And we just offer that to say whether you can do a little or a lot, we invite you to participate with us in making a difference in this world. And then we get to send you some swag and some fun stuff. Not that you're giving in order to get that, but we want you to feel like you're a part of something, even in a tangible way. And so that's why we call it a team. That's why we send you some stuff, because then you're a part of it. So we encourage people to join the team in many, many points of today's episode.

Yes, we do. Tons of. So if you want to join team 58, go to PureDesire.org give a few more things. Subscribe to the podcast. We're on all the major platforms. You can follow us on social media. Earedesirepdmi on all the platforms. And then also this full episode will be up on YouTube. All right, let's get into it. Here's our time with Rodney Wright and John Beguman on rebuilding and restoring lives. Rodney Wright, welcome back. You are a regular here. We're glad to have you back. Thanks for being here.

Great to be here. Great to be with you guys always.

And we are joined by John Beguman for the first time. And you're one of our newer employees working in the advancement development area. And we're glad to have you, man. Thanks for being here.

Yeah. Grateful for it, excited for the opportunity.

Right on. Okay, so you both are on our advancement team here at Pure Desire. You guys speak to people, meet with them, invite them to consider giving, really toward the mission of where we help people take back their lives from the effects of unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. And today we're going to talk through how generosity and giving connect to seeing people healed and ultimately how it's a part of our own story as well. So as you too, work in advancement development here, what is it that makes you passionate about this area? Like, you don't just wake up and be like, I wanna work in advancement at a nonprofit that works with sexual addiction. You know, like, what makes you passionate about doing this here at Pure Desire?

Yeah, absolutely. I think the first thought that comes to my mind is simply relationships. I had a mentor one time who said, your number one priority is relationships. I'm like, okay, great. I got it. Then he said, your number two priority is relationships. I'm like, okay. And then he said, and number three is relationships. And he said, if you ever lose sight of this, you have lost sight of it all in development. And that's really. That's really stuck with me. I think it's an honor and a privilege to come alongside people and say thank you for what they've already given. And just to get to hear their story. Because I believe behind any gift is a story. I'm going, God, what are you doing? What have you done? What do you long to do in and through this person? And as crazy as this is, I think the biggest lie in addiction or trauma is you're alone. And yet then somehow in this pursuit of recovery, that stupid snake comes back in and says the exact same thing. You're alone in recovery. And I think working in the advancement department, I get to come alongside people and say, you're not alone. Not only are you not alone in your addiction, which I think has already happened, some courageous person has shared their story, which allowed somebody to take a courageous step of their own into recovery. But also, you're not alone in your recovery. That there are thousands of people who have been through this. There are hundreds of people even giving in the Various states across the US and globally. You're not alone. And in fact, we're together. We're together advancing this message of sexual freedom against the tide of sexual brokenness. And we're not behind because God uses the strength and the gift of multiplication against the enemy's tactic of addition.

Listen, careful, careful, listener. You're gonna get a little bit of passion from Johnny boy here today.

He's on fire, brother. This boy's on fire.

All that to say it's the relationships.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

How about for you, Ryan?

Donnie, that was beautiful. For me, the gospel isn't, close your eyes, raise your hand and say a prayer. It's open your eyes, take my hand, and follow me. So for me, relationships, pure desire, groups that men and women get in, it's what I saw people transform the most. What leads us to transformation? Just what John said. Relationships, relationships, relationships. And so this is where I was really passionate as a pastor, Seeing the fruit of pure desire in my congregation and saying, wow, this is what is transforming people. I want to be a part of that. How can I leverage what gifts I have to help this cause and people to partner with this organization? Just like we partner with so many different ones that are helping so many needs, from poverty to, you know, homelessness to all kinds of things, man, this is another pandemic. And I just thought, boy, this has affected so many families. What if we could get people to see that your dollar in this arena can really affect every family in our country, every family around the world, really, because we're all sexual beings and just grateful to be a piece of this puzzle. Love that John has come on as my new boss under Justin, under Trevor, under Nick. So I'm under all these guys. I work for everybody there.

That's awesome.

I'm just excited. Whole team 58 we're going to get into. And how that was inspired and that came about, I just think it's beautiful. So for me, it's just like, man, this is really good place to invest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really a privilege to have you guys on the team and just watch what you do, to watch, you know, your heart's on display. To encourage people to bless people and to invite people to be a part of the mission with us. And it's exciting to watch that happen. And so would love to hear from you guys as you think of this from kind of a little bigger picture perspective. What role do you feel that generosity? And we're not just talking money, but generosity with our lives, our time investment. What role does generosity play in a person's recovery?

I'll start. I think it's huge. Nick. I just was talking to a friend of mine, a doctor here in our community today over coffee, and we were just talking about commitment to change and dopamine in the brain. And he was just saying, have somebody go volunteer and give something away with nothing that they could get in return and just see the joy of being generous with your time, your resources to help someone else and see the dopamine that comes in the brain that way. And it was just fascinating because we were just having this conversation. And for all of us in recovery, one of the ways is giving back. It's step 12. We give back to help someone else down the road. I know for me, Traci and I, we make a commitment to give back financially because we believe in people invested in us and our help, that we can never repay them, but we can pay it forward and then we give back in leading groups and trying to help in this arena just because it's so enjoyable. It's a good kind of dopamine, right when we can say, woo, my time, my dollars, making a difference, helping.

Yeah, I love that. And I would just tag onto that and say, I think Ted talks about it really well. In pillar seven, lesson four, he mentioned step 12, but maybe in our realm, the last step and just the idea of how do you give back? And truly the desire, the want for others being such a strong motivator for our own change. He mentioned the study of these stressed out college students taking a test. And there was two motivators. Number one, money, which is kind of ironic because that's a topic. But then number two, the want and the drive for others. I mean, Mike Maxwell and I and others here in our office have this conversation often that we see men or women in groups who have a lot to lose, doing really well. I love that we say it works if you work it. And all of a sudden these people are taking this step because it's not only impacting themselves, but it's impacting their family and it's impacting those around them. And I think it's beautiful. In that lesson, you go through goals and legacy. What are your goals for life and what legacy do you want to leave? And so if it's okay with y', all, I'd love to read what I wrote in 2020. This is two years ago. This is as a 22 year old. These are just some of the goals I wrote. Continuing to walk in freedom and living life on God's terms, to lead and to teach others, to walk in freedom, to help equip parents and protect kids. And then this was my last goal, to be in a position to share my story of addiction and freedom in Christ.

Which you do every day. I'm in the office right next to him, and it's like, I just like, let me tell you my story. It's like, oh, well, John's on the phone again.

I've been on an airplane with John seven rows back and heard the word pornography and addiction. I thought the captain was saying it over the loudspeaker. Yeah, that's right.

That's right.

Buckle your seatbelts. And if you're addicted to porn, there's a guy in street 19A that can help deliver you. And I'm like, whoa, what the heck, Johnny? He's passionate. I love that.

But I love that boy. What you guys are talking about, and this is what is so cool, is that recovery does. It flips the script. Like, when we're in addiction, it's so focused on ourself and focused internally on our own wounds, on medicating, taking care of ourself. And then once we've gotten some healing and recovery, it flips that to where now I can see other people. I can push into relationship, give generously with my time, with my talents, with my treasure. Right. All those things. I love that that switch can happen.

Yeah. I would say then second, not only goals, but legacy. And so I wrote down a man who pursues God at all costs. I want to be known as a discipler who's making disciples that reaches the nations. And then last, a heart set on building treasure in heaven, not just here on earth. And so I think the question in the pursuit of recovery is simply this. Who are you trying to protect? Who is your I want for? Maybe that's the man after you, maybe that's your wife, maybe that's your kids. And then secondary, what legacy are you leaving? And like you guys have said, that's not just financially. That is so many other things relationally. But I think our finances and our generosity can be a huge part of that.

Absolutely.

Yeah. We've talked a lot on the podcast about the real definition of repentance. That to repent isn't just to feel sorry about or to feel bad that I did something wrong, but repentance is a change in direction. It's a turning not only of the heart, but I think a turning of our life and where we're pointed to. And as you said, Trevor, in Addiction and in struggle. It was about our comfort, our pleasure. What's in it for me? What do I need? And so to repent of that is to live a life that is other centered and Christ centered, to say, what's in it for them? And back to what you said, Rodney, I love that from the doctor's point of view, even from dopamine, to find that there is actually a more sustainable, consistent pleasure and joy that comes from doing for others rather than doing for myself. And so in so many ways, our world has just sucked us into this. What's in it for me right now? Instant gratification. What we've missed is that there is greater gratification and lasting joy in doing for others. And so I think recovery, when we get that and we see that, oh, generosity isn't just about being a good person or being nice to others, generosity actually does something for me. I think that it feels almost selfish, but it's like, hey, we're wired for self preservation. What's in it for me? But if we can see that even in generosity, I'm actually getting something out of it that is good and healthy for me, I think that's motivating to say this is worth it.

Absolutely. Yeah, for sure.

I would even say this, Nick. We're wired for generosity. That's our original design. That's how the godness, the godlike in us that we're designed sin, just thinks about selfishness, not other centeredness. And so as we really start to heal, you know, we realize for all of us typically listening to this podcast, we are all rich. So let's realize and focus our life and energy on helping making others lives better and this world a better place before we get off the planet, you know, and that is why I love partnering with Pure Desire and all that they do.

So some of our listeners, as we just continue the conversation, they've probably heard us mention Team 58 a number of times. And Team 58 is our monthly donor base. So again, this may be repetition for some, but yeah, Rodney's rocking the Team 58 hat and putting it right. Do it again, Rod, just so the people on YouTube can see it. There you go.

I think Ellie does. Ellie. Ellie designed this and I approved it. I think that's how that went. Shout out to Ellie.

So Elizabeth, she's excellent. So why the name Team 58? And what sort of impact are these monthly donors actually making? I think that's an important piece too. What impact is actually happening?

I love the fact that it's not just verse 12. I mean this episode is titled rebuild and restore. But verse 8 also says, and then your salvation will come like the dawn and your wounds will quickly heal. Oh my gosh, like what a gift. I mean that's my own story. Just like as I leaned into recovery and as I started to unpack the pain and the wounds and the trauma and the dysfunction, within 10 months my life began to look radically different as my wounds truly began to quickly heal. And I think that can be anybody's story. And so for those who are part of Team 58, I think a big part of that is not just generosity with your finances, but also with your life, which is labor, influence, finances, expertise. And I would say influence is such a critical part of that because so many people are influenced by sexual brokenness, but not for sexual wholeness. And so here we go, getting to share our stories of impact that others wounds might quickly heal because that's our own story. And then verse 12 says that some of you would be called the rebuilder of walls and, and the restore of homes. And man, I was sharing that recently with a donor and she just started getting emotional. She said that's my story. She said, my walls have been rebuilt and my home has been restored. And so I think that that is truly the heartbeat, that's the passion, that's what gets us up out of bed in the morning is going. As I walk into this building, I'm praying for the 11 year old who's exposed. I know exposure is younger, but I'm praying for the couple who's going through recovery. I'm praying for the crisis and the couple in crisis that will come to our doors, that they might find hope and healing. And Team 58 is a huge part of that. I know the second part of that question, Trevor, is impact. It's just going, what kind of impact are you having? And I would say it allows us as pure desire the ability to dream. I don't know if you guys have experienced this, but even within the last year it's going, hey, what project are we going after? Hey, what new resource are we going after? And some of you guys have been a part of this and this will come later. But just like the glt, it's launched.

Yeah, Group leader training.

Right.

That's incredible. So yeah, I would say the impact is just really the ability to dream. Like we're an organization with two really healthy revenue streams. Donations really hasn't been a big part of that. Yeah. And so the donations that are coming in allow us the freedom and the capacity to grow. We all know that the problem is massive. And Nick talks about us being this small boat amidst this huge ocean of brokenness. And I truly think that Team 58 is allowing our organization to grow into be a larger boat that we might go after more people. Like, it's truly about the one, but I think the one again through multiplication, then becomes the many. And so, Nick, I love that. I think that analogy is Perfect. I think Team 58 is truly impacting this organization to be a bigger boat on the sea of sexual brokenness.

Wow, that makes me want to speak in tongues.

But Anyway.

I like Dr. Ted. You know, I think we're all Dr. Ted fans and his prophetic promises. Nick, you explained that earlier in the podcast. But for me, the word team, I mean, I'm grateful. I was at Pure Desire this last week with our executive team and our board doing some strategy, and I had moments of just being overwhelmed that I get to be part of something bigger than me. And we're better together. We talk about websites and podcasts and blogs and material that's being written and I just say, woo hoo, my dollar is a part of something that I don't even know. I couldn't even log on my computer, but I had to log on my phone today because I don't know much about that. But we got guys on our team that are helping reach with the computers around the world that, that Al Gore came up with the world Wide Web. You know, it's pretty amazing what's happening around here. So I love it that I'm partnering with people and their gifting takes my gift. And it just. We're better together in investing in this way. And it's just. To me, it's really beautiful, you know?

Yeah. So just in case any listeners missed the intro, the team 58 are all those that are committed to being a monthly partner financially with Pure Desire. And I think it's so important Jesus talks about this. And Pastor Andy Stanley in quoting Jesus, says, your heart follows your wallet, your heart follows your money. Jesus said, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. And so I think when we invest financially in what God is doing around the world, there's a part of our engagement that goes with it. We care more about what happens. And if we write one time a check or make a donation to an organization and then never again, there's kind of an out of sight, out of mind that truly happens to us. But when we're monthly seeing that on our credit card statement or our bank Statements like, oh, I'm a part of what God is doing through that ministry. And so I think that's why it's so valuable that we're just. We're investing in something we see value in, that is God's kingdom being built here on earth. And we invite people to invest in that way because Jesus said it's investing in his kingdom.

Yeah. There's more dopamine. When I see Pure Desire on my card, instead of Hulu, Netflix, or, you know, whatever else, it's a good way.

To think about it.

There you go.

Yeah, it's just a great way of saying, man, we're giving back and helping this month. I love it.

So let's talk about it a little bit. We've been mentioning a couple of things, but how is God rebuilding and restoring lives through generosity? What are ways that you guys are seeing?

Well, for me, it's kind of the bread and butter of what we started with at Pure Desire is groups. And this group training that was mentioned, I'm so thrilled about that product that was produced professionally, and resources helped us do that. Now when guys say. And gals say, I want to start at my church, we have a. We have some way to really equip them to take our material and know how to do it in a quality way. So it just helps us with quality control, making sure that people know the tools and can understand how to facilitate groups. And I just. I love that that people gave resources so that that video could be made and training could get out and just our reach online again. Just what we're doing through YouTube and blogs and podcasts and resources. I just love to hear how people's monthly gifts are really making an impact. And it's pretty exciting.

I would just say. I think behind any organization, ministry, nonprofit, there are truly the donors who are fueling it. I mean, there's a great book out there by Reinhart, which is called Gospel Patrons. I mean, I even think about Rodney's book, how to teach your kids about sex. There was a gospel patron, per se, behind the production, the idea, the vision, and the amount of families and kids and parent trainings and conferences and places Rodney and Traci have now spoke. And that's just a small portion. I also think back to the Pure Desire video training. At least that's what we had it labeled as, and the people who supported that, which has now become sexual integrity 101. It's just like how many churches, like, even this morning, we're connecting with a local nonprofit leader, and we're saying, hey, we love to give you access that you might see and tangibly experience who is and what are we about that other people might be impacted for freedom. It's just going that training isn't produced without generosity, and those people aren't reached without those stories. And then it's just an incredible gift to come alongside and hear story after story after story of people who are now giving generously. But again, their gift is fueled by. By a story, and their hope is that it might lead to the next story.

Yeah, I think we still see it Pure desire that the primary way someone ends up engaging in the counseling process or getting involved in a group. I mean, we do a lot to promote, we do social media stuff, we do the podcast. But still the number one way is people saying, a friend told me, a family member told me, a brother, a sister, someone I knew talked to me about the impact pure desire had had on them, and they directed me towards it. And so in a real way, God is rebuilding and restoring lives through generosity because we're being generous with our time, with our energy, with. With our investment. To say even to someone else, here's a little bit of my story, and here's what God could do in your life. And when we're generous, it's just like it spills over into someone's life because when it's personally impacted us, we become the greatest walking billboard that others see and hear and go, oh, maybe I can't. Especially in this area where you're talking about sexual addiction or struggles, it's easy for people to be skeptical or like, what are they gonna make me do? What am I gonna have to say? I don't know if I wanna trust this process. But when someone they know and trust invests in them to say, hey, this made a difference in my life, that often is what gives people the confidence to take the next step. And so that's personal engagement. And I think it's how God rebuilds and restores lives through our generosity towards others.

Yeah. So let's push into that, like, what has God done? And you guys have mentioned a couple things already, but maybe flesh that out more and give some other examples. What has God done through generosity so far?

Absolutely. I think this has been probably the coolest thing, especially as I got hired and me and Nick begin to have some of these, you know, donation, donor advancement, development, whatever you want to call it, kind of conversations. And the first point, I mean, we've never even really asked people for money. Just flat out as an organization, we.

Hadn'T Can I speak to that real quick? There was a time, rad conversations internally where people were like, no one is ever going to give money to help someone stop masturbating. Like, that was. That was a line I heard direct quote, like. And to think now where we're at that. To your point exactly, that's where we were. We had that perspective. Like, this isn't something people are going to want to give to. This isn't a kid in Africa. This isn't, you know, drilling wells across the world. Like, this is giving to sexual brokenness and helping people break free. Such an interesting twist.

Yeah. I remember sitting across the table, even from y' all in the interview process, just going, man, but this isn't about sexual addiction. It is at the core, but at the. At the outcome or the product of that is families changed, it's moms and dads restored, and it's parents being able to pass that on to the next generation. Because I believe that generational curses are real. And all of a sudden they're passing it down, a gift of generosity. It's not just about blessing a family or a marriage, but about generations upon generations to come. Can you see it? That's the question. Can you see it? I think the people on Team 58 can. They're saying, I see what God is doing. It's not even about pure desire. I don't think we're a ministry. I think we're a movement. I think we're supporting local churches and local missionaries with the language and the tools for sexual wholeness so they can impact the lives around them. And I think that is what makes us so unique. I've been a part of ministries where it's like, hey, look at our logo. Look what we're doing. This isn't about us. This is about you and your friends and your family and your church and your brothers and your sisters and whatever else. This is about change in the family system. And so I think it's a beautiful gift to watch that impact. And then just tangibly, from an organization standpoint, last year, giving Tuesday, I said, could we raise $15,000 in like a day? And it was kind of throughout the course of a month, but $15,000 came in that we would translate 12 different Pure Desire resources in the Polish language. And I would just say this. It's the first to come. There are more to come. And it won't necessarily always be tangible resources, but we're pushing into digital products. And then secondary was the year end ask, which was for the Group leader training. We said, God, what could you do? We needed 50,000. I said to Nick, I said, could God raise $100,000? And then at the end of it, God had raised over 120,000. Just to put that in perspective, the year before, there was about $30,000 that had come in in the month of December. And as I'm sharing this with Rodney, he said, john, can you see it? I said, rodney, what? He said, john, can you see? I said, rodney, what are you talking about? He said, God wants healing for his people more than we do. God wants healing for his people more than we do. And that's convicting to me because I think I want it a lot, and I hope you can hear the passion. But he wants healing for his people more than we do. And he has shown up again and again and again. And so we just continually trust. We go. We are excitedly expectant. That's the word Rodney and I get to push into excitedly expectant for all that he's going to do because of what we've seen him do and what we're hoping and trusting him to do in the future.

Yeah, that's beautiful. And, you know, for me, it's great. As a local pastor, I realize that most local churches don't have the bandwidth to tackle every issue to a depth or to expertise. And again, I always say this, and if you're a listener, I give you permission to disagree with me, turn on your brain and think. But we're not helping churches. We're a part of the church peer desire. We are this part of the church that's resourcing local communities to give you information, resources, holistic approach to help your congregation. So this is a part where God's called Dr. Ted, Nick, the board, the team, the staff, the ministry is people are raising up to say religion hasn't done good in educating on human sexuality. Stop masturbating. Let's just talk about masturbating. I mean, we can't even talk about human sexuality in a lot of our religious cultures. So we're not only providing healing, but resources on all kinds of levels to help churches. And I think it's fantastic that we get to be a part of that. And because it takes a lot of courage, as us4know, it takes a lot of courage to own your negative sexual history. Own it integrated as part of your story. That's scary for a lot of churches, you know, but men and women that have done that, whether they work for Pure Desire or gone through our groups, I see that they're giving back with joy, not just embarrassment, but like, yeah, I get to be a part of helping something because I've owned my story and I'm helping my kids and grandkids and future generations now. And to me, that's. That's the legacy because it's. It's the pandemic issue, this just over sexualization of culture. And if the church can't get it right, we're not going to ever help the. We're not going to ever help those that don't have faith, you know.

You know, as most of our listeners know, Pure Desire, we charge for our services. So people have paid for a book, they've paid to come to an event, they've paid for counseling. And. And it's actually been a strength of Pure Desire that we've not been reliant on donations to keep the lights on. And so that income we receive is what allows us to continue producing books, doing counseling, running events, keeping the lights on, paying our staff. But what that has meant is as we've grown the donation base, it's allowed us to say yes to special projects that are really moving the mission forward. And so even going back a couple of years, we mentioned sexual integrity 101. That happened primarily because of a large gift from a donor who said, I want to see this happen. And then as we've mentioned, you know, the group leader training this year, the ministry in Poland, we're partnering with a film project next year that all these are projects that in other situations or seasons of the life of Pure Desire, we would have had to say, well, we'd like to do it. We just can't afford to. And we would have had to say no. But we've been able to start saying yes to some really exciting things. And I think we're just on the cusp of that because as. As donors jump in, we're not just keeping the lights on, we're advancing into these bigger areas, into bigger projects that really have an exciting possibility to impact many, many more. And so that's. That's cool to see.

And the word that comes to mind is just scalable, because Sexual Integrity 101, we ran an event called the Pure Desire University, which turned into the Pure Desire Conference, where we went around the country, and we were even around the world. We've been to other countries to talk about it, and we had so many people at every single event say, I wish my whole church could go through this. And so what the donation really enabled us to do is to scale that at large. We're now 10. I believe, wholeheartedly, even looking at the numbers, that there's at least 10,000 people who've been through Sexual Integrity 101 that would have never come to an event about pornography and sexual addiction, but maybe have gone through this course at their church. So scalability is the word that unlocking that creates bigger impact.

Yeah. So let's. Let's start looking forward and thinking about the future. And we, you know, we can't talk about everything because some things are in a little bit of an inception stage or there. There may be possibilities, but what are some of the things that as an organization, we're trusting God for this year and in the near future?

Well, I would just say, as we continue to get so many hits every week, every day, every month on the web, about groups and information, and it's not a world. I understand, I have a lot of gifts, but that's not where some of them are really lean toward. But to bring on Justin and Trevor and some of these guys that can help us develop this whole way of having the right platforms and bitchmark. There's a lot of things you probably won't understand if I got into them. But anyway, just to help us have a lot of that technical stuff that helps us reach people better, because the big. The biggest problem is online. And how great is it that we're online providing a healing resource and making it even easier for people to log on, to get information, to join the whole, you know, just, I don't know, 6,7000amonth to hit our website looking for groups. Isn't that. Something like that?

Yeah.

It's unbelievable. You know, how do we facilitate that better? How do we. How do we. The resources that it takes to get our technology up to speed.

Yeah. I'm reminded of a story that Nick and I got to hear in person while we were out in Texas. And this couple. I mean, just a beautiful story of brokenness and redemption and longing and hopes, you know, fulfilled. It was incredible. But she leaned in and said, I looked for three months. I looked for three months online trying to find help, and I couldn't find it until eventually she found a local group at a local church where her and her husband were able to attend both Betrayal and Beyond and Seven Pillars and. And now, three years later, they're on the other side of that story, which is just incredible. But at the same time, I think the word that we've been really throwing around here is access. How do we get more people access? And I think something that's so beautiful is we understand that we are living in an ever evolving digital world and it's just going, hey, print products are great and I think slowing down to the pace of a pen and a journal is beautiful. But at the same time, how do we prepare the future of pure desire when it comes to digital workbooks and digital products and online groups, which is such a gift. I wouldn't be sitting at this table now if it wasn't for an online group as I went through group in Texas. And that was a decision that y' all made as an executive team just three years ago. And so, I mean, we've already seen growth, but I would say the next step, what we're trusting God for this year is truly putting a brand new engine in this sports car of an organization. And that is a new website. We've been on a WordPress, which isn't bad, and Justin's been an incredible, I would say, artistic creator in that space. But at the same time, right now we're trusting God for a brand new website that would allow us to do online groups at a greater rate to facilitate more of them, to have more leaders trained to then launch and lead more groups and to train more co leaders, you name it. We're looking for more access that more people. Those 6,000 that Rodney's mentioning that are hitting our site monthly, clicking join a group. We can't help that many people right now, but that's the word scalability. And I would say, yeah, we're trusting God for a brand new engine in this sports car. Call the website.

I mean, it's breaking bottlenecks is what it's doing. You know, we find bottlenecks and trying to help people. And we're an organization that prays the Lord that we're growing, that more and more people are finding out about us. But to your point, like, we need to be able to serve those people. We need to have that. And so I love the, because we've talked about that, the access granted, like how do we give that message to as many people as we can? And that's. I love that I'm down for that banner for a while now.

Well, and a lot of our listeners may not know that Pure Desire as a ministry, as an organization is only 13, 14 years old. You know, Dr. Ted Ro was preaching the Pure Desire message for over 25 years. But it was 2008, 2009, when pure desire was established as an independent nonprofit organization. And in that time, we have only ever had buildings that we leased and rented and now we're at a point in our growth trajectory, whereas as we add staff and services, we're looking at the next move is we've got to have a building. We've got to have a place that we can call our own. Not just because we need a building, but because of the way it gives us the flexibility and freedom to expand and to add services, to provide more opportunities. And so while we don't have the specifics of that defined, so that's why I don't want to say too much about it, but we know that's the target, and we know that takes significant investment of funds and down payments and all that. And so that's a big part, too, of what is coming in the next year and a half or so.

Yeah, but, Nick, I love that we're talking about where God's inviting us to participate in some of these needs, like the website, because maybe there's someone in the tech world where that's their world, and they would say, hey, I see the value of that. Where somebody like me, you know, kind of a rural farmer guy, although I don't grow things much in the. In the flower beds. But I'm just saying, like, I don't understand that, but maybe there's somebody in the tech world that says, I do. And so I know a hundred thousand, my hundred thousand dollars is going to go a long way. Or maybe there's somebody that understands land and development. Like, we had a friend in town yesterday just talking about development, right. And his heart is saying, hey, how can I partner with this organization that I feel God's invited me to do with? And so maybe there's a developer, maybe there's someone that owns land that could say, hey, this is how we could partner with you guys to help and make a difference, you know, so listen to those promptings because. Because that's the beauty of this. Better together team 58, we're all a part of this.

Yeah. Yeah. I think collectively we're just seeing an opportunity is what we're seeing. We're seeing an opportunity for people to partner with the message of helping people. We're seeing opportunity for us to expand and grow and reach, because that's ultimately what it is. It's not can we get a better building and look cooler, it's can we reach more people? To your point, Nick, that getting a location is not how do we have a swanky place that people can walk into, it's how can we have a place where we can host people, bring people in, offer so Many different things. Okay, so finances are not the only way. And we've kind of talked about this a little bit sparsely throughout, but what are other ways that people can be generous and can give back, especially to people who are in this realm, who are stuck in sexual brokenness or impacted by. By betrayal, trauma? What else does generosity look like other than financially?

Yeah, I've been using this language recently. Trevor, I know you and I have talked about this. If pure desire is a building from a metaphor standpoint, so many people come to our front door in crisis. It's the phone call of, I'm leaving him if he doesn't get help.

This is our last shot.

Absolutely. It's been 10, 20 years, and I had no idea. Or even longer. And so oftentimes people journey through our organization in recovery, which is beautiful. And we do that so well, whether that's marketing or these podcasts or the many things that we have to come alongside people in that space. But at the same time, I think once they leave the back door, let's say the 10 months is over or they've completed their counseling, or maybe they're two or three years in and they're really starting to find traction. It's going now what? I think that's the question that anybody asks, especially regarding legacy. How do I give back? And like I mentioned earlier, I think this acronym of LIFE standing for Labor, Influence, Finance and Expertise, is such a beautiful model. And so many people, I would say before this team 58 push or donations, it was even a thing. I mean, that their first step has been, how do I lead? I want to lead a group. I want to give away the freedom that I myself have experienced. So for all of you group leaders out there, thank you. Thank you for what you're doing because you have truly been such an instrumental part of this organization. We couldn't do what we do without you. So whether that's leading or a co leader or even an rga, and I know that language is about to change, but people who are overseeing regional groups, I would say that's been probably the primary way that people have been able to give back. And we're just dreaming as a part of an organization of how do we invite people back into that building? Of course, Team 58 or large donations are a part of that. And we want to say, hey, thank you. We see you. To bless them and to say, hey, how could you be a part of this voice as we go forward and we push the advancement of the organization? But, yeah, other ways to be generous Absolutely. Lead a group.

Yeah, yeah.

And I would just add to that, be generous with your story. One of the things Pure Desire did with me is it healed the shame of my story and continues to do that today to where I never thought I'd go in churches and share on a weekend about my negative sexual history. I mean, it wasn't a childhood dream at summer camp, you know, as a kid, you know, lord, choose me. I'd love to do this work, but doing it with no hesitation, like, grateful to do it. Because sharing my story can be the answer to someone's prayer, whether they're in the pew or in the pulpit or wherever. When someone has gone through group, shares their story with someone else. You never know a family member or someone else. I know a resource. I know a ministry. I know something that can help you. So sharing your story can be really an answer to someone's prayer. And it's like word of mouth is one of the best ways, you know? And so just being generous, not just with Team 58 giving back, although there's the invitation there, but just in owning your story and sharing it and pointing people to where God has brought resource and help to you.

Absolutely.

I was thinking about that too, Rodney, how telling our story is really taking a risk because we don't always know that it will go well. And it may even start with telling our story to our own family or close friends of like, I'm going to invest some of my time and energy and even leverage some of my relationships to tell a story because I believe the impact it could have to help other people. And so maybe your generosity is even taking time to refine your story, to go to a friend and say, hey, could I tell my story to you? And you just help me make it clearer. Anywhere I'm giving too much detail, help me take that out. I mean, that's an investment of your time and energy to say, I'm not just going to wing it. If someone says, what's God doing in your life? I want to know that I could tell my story of healing and redemption. I think of the number of individuals and couples that have approached their church or a pastor or a friend on staff to just say, here's our story and could we help bring this into our church? Even if they feel like they're not ready to lead a group themselves, they're saying, we want to help connect you to pure desire. And that's a form of generosity. The number of events that we've done usually are because there's a core of Volunteers that have said, we want to see this happen in our church or community, we're going to help bring an event here. We're going to spend the time, the energy, we're going to invest in inviting people. I mean, all those are ways that we're generous to get the word out to open the door for others. And it doesn't even have to involve money at any of those junctures. So I. I think it's just looking around and saying, okay, God, what you've done in me, how do you want to do it through me? How could you take what you've done in me and do it through me? And that can be in so many ways that all fall under that umbrella of generosity.

And then Genesis 50:20 becomes your story. And what was once Joseph's story, which is truly a foreshadow of Jesus, becomes our story. And it says that what the enemy meant for evil, God has meant for good.

Yeah.

That many might be saved. And truly, that was Jesus story on the cross. But as we follow him as our rabbi, it becomes our story, and we get to champion it. Of what the enemy meant for evil, through Rodney's negative sexual history is now being used for good. That many parents and many kids might be impacted for freedom. I think that's my favorite part of getting to come alongside Team 58 members, because they say, john, this is such an incredible story. I'm like, but you have a story. Like, now you go. I'm like, I get to meet with local missionaries who are championing not only their story, their time, their resour, all of these things. It's beautiful.

It's funny, because what just came to mind is Ephesians 4, that idea that God gives these roles to the church, and it says, for the equipping of the saints, for the work of ministry. And that's ultimately what ends up happening in recovery, is they go through this process, and it's almost like they're handed a ministry they never thought they'd have. You know what I mean? Like, and that's not. Like, we don't take people through recovery just so they'll recruit people and do this ministry. But it is an amazing byproduct of it that once you go through it and you get healthy, you're now given. Because I go to Second Corinthians 1, the idea that God comforts us, and as he comforts us, that gives us the ability to comfort people in the same way God's comforted us, and that's that ministry that Ephesians 4. So that's what I love about that. And to use. I want to use it because that I've. Since the day I heard your illustration about the house. I think it's an amazing one that when people give back, they tell their story, they give financially, whatever it may be. They're walking out of the house, and we're just handing them a tool, whether it's a shovel or a hammer or a piece of siding, whatever it is. And they get to turn around and start building into this house. That has helped them. And now they're getting to expand it. It grows wider the foundation and taller and can fit more people. It's cool.

Well, I love the idea that sometimes we are the answer to our prayers. I think about Nehemiah. Nehemiah, chapter one, where he gets a message that the walls of Jerusalem are broken. He's living in exile. He gets a message that Jerusalem is in chaos, the walls are broken down. And it says he's broken. And he prays, cries out to God all night in prayer, which I imagine saying, you know, God, do something. God, fix it. Help these people. And then it says, and in the morning, I got up and I talked to the king, and he asks for permission to take some of the king's wealth and some of the king's people and some of the other Israelites and go back to Jerusalem and build the wall. And the king says, yes, which is, to me, it's awesome. It's like he was the answer to the prayers. He was praying. And for some of us, we maybe have that heart of God, fix marriages and help teenagers and help kids be spared and help our community be healthier. And then we need to say amen, and then get up and go and be the answer to that prayer. Because God's putting it on our heart. He's giving us the passion. And I just think anytime that we say yes to that prayer, when we say, God, do something, and God says, now, go. I'm sending you. And we're like, all right. Whether that is time, treasure, talents, whatever we invest, that's generosity. And it's participating with God in his mission to help people, man, you guys.

Should go in churches and preach. I'm telling you all you guys, I'd have either one of you in my church, man. You guys are great. Nick. It is the participation. And I have a friend that was praying that, too, just the other day when he just said, okay, Lord, here's your warrior. Whatever you got for me, I'm in. You know? And his heart's moving towards pure desire to say, how can I participate? Here's my skill set. So think about, if you're a business owner or you have a skill set, what is God inviting you to participate with? To help something bigger than yourself? And to me, that's where faith is. That's where faith lives. It's about the call to participate. It may be $10 a month. It may be 1,000amonth. It may be Team 58. It may be your business. It may be picking up the phone saying, can I talk to Trevor? Can I talk to Nick? Can I talk to Rodney? John, here's what we do. You know, whatever, but where's the holy spirit inviting you to participate? And in what arena? And if it's this arena, we just would say, hey, join the team. You don't have to do it all on your own. We're better together. And that's what I love about it, man. We're better together.

Yeah. That's awesome. So, all right, for both of you, John, for Rodney, this is your shot. We want your best thoughts, ideas, passion. As people listen, we know many of them are on team 58, so we are so thankful for them. We're grateful for their participation, but many are not. Maybe some are hearing this for the first time. Some have thought about it. Why would you. In your words, why should someone join team 58 today?

Yeah. Softball pitch ready? Here it comes.

Yeah. I'd say this simply to claim your inheritance. I think of the story as the Israelites are crossing the Jordan river, and it said that the priests had to put their feet in the water first. And I would say it required them to look foolish in the eyes of the world. They put their feet in the river, and all of a sudden, they're waiting. The miracle happened upstream, and they're having to wait for. And all of a sudden, the water finally clears and all of Israel crosses. And what do they cross into? The land of their inheritance. This is where freedom is found. I think the pitch or the plea or the ask is for people to join Team 58. That people might experience that. If that's your story, would you be a part of us who are putting our feet to look forward foolish in the eyes of the world, that many might cross into the land of their inheritance, which is freedom, and in the presence of Christ is freedom. So all that to say, Team 58 is a group of people who are helping others take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior. I don't know if you've ever heard anybody on this podcast say this and also from betrayal, trauma. So all that to say if that's your story, if you're passionate about helping others and it not just being about your wife or your husband or your family, your kids or other kids. Kids or churches or whatever. I think it starts right here. It's in your heart. And one heart changed and becomes a community that's changed. And then a city and a county and then a state and then maybe a country and then maybe the globe. But it's got to start right there. Solve that to say there's a community. Join us. This is a bunch of people who are passionate about this, who gather on quarterly zoom calls and get monthly updates and get free swag like the hat that Rodney's wearing or this T shirt that we have here. And it's not about what you get, but truly I think it is about relationship. And we're better together. Like Rodney keeps saying, this is a tie to sexual brokenness that we're trying to push back. And I think we do it a lot better linked arm in arm than we do apart. And I just want you to know, again, you're not alone. And I think Team 58 is such a cool way to cement that. There are so many. I think right now we're in 40 states. We have 10 states left without a Team 58 member, but we're in 40 states of people being generous towards pure desire. Like, hear that? You're not alone. There could be somebody else in your state.

We should list the states.

I'm tapping in, John. I'm tapping in. Here I go. I'm tapping in. That's beautiful. I don't have a scripture like John, and I probably can't give spiritual language to it, but I'll just try. It's a pandemic issue in the world in which we live. The mismanagement of sexuality and everything being sexualized. The church can't be silent and just swing to the other way. We need healthy sexuality, healthy tools for healing. And this isn't what pure desire is doing. It's what Jesus is doing. In my opinion, it's what the divine is doing to heal humanity. And isn't that something? What if you started with us in the church first? Wouldn't that be a beautiful gift? Right? So this is how I see it. He's calling us. Listen to where the Spirit's leading you to partner. And we're just partnering. Pure desire. We're just partnering what Jesus invited us to do. And that's what I love. Just really about people who Work there, who are on the board and serve. We're all just saying yes to that call to help a problem in the world. And I think it's really beautiful. And so I just love to have you on board. Your gift is needed in whatever way. And go to the link right now, Team 58, and find a box that fits you, fill it out, check it, and man, get on board, because we are definitely better together.

Yeah. Well, that's what's awesome. Whether the gifts are small or large, we've talked about it in some of our time together as John and I learn more about this and lean into it, that it's. It's like having a buffet table and everyone, you know, some bring small dish, some bring a large dish, some bring a little something, a lot. But when we all sit down to eat, we're all together. We're all a part of what happened in providing that meal.

And.

And so whether you can do a little bit or a lot, like you're a part of providing that meal for others. And, you know, I was thinking about. There was a secular law firm that back in 2012 did a survey of thousands of divorces, and what they found is that 56% of divorces were being driven by the online behavior of one of the spouses. And so that's just looking at online behavior. If you were to add to that sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction in marriages, affairs, adultery, that sort of thing, it's clear that a majority of divorces in our country, and that would include the church, a majority of divorces are being driven because of sexual brokenness. And so if we look at the church and the world and think, man, we want to help marriages, we want to help couples thrive and survive for the long haul, then we have to help heal sexual brokenness. Because if we don't meet a couple in that place of need, you can teach them about healthy communication and better finances and how to deal with the in laws. You can do that all day long. And they're going to divorce because if you can't find healing at that very deep, intimate place of your sexual union, the marriage won't last. And I think ultimately that's what we're here to do as pure desire. We're here to heal marriages. And if anything in you says, I want to be a part of that too, that's what Team 58 does. That's one of the ways that we participate together to create healthy marriages in our world. And we're all about doing that together. So if you're not in Man. And today didn't convince you? I don't know what else we can say.

Yeah. And let me just say this to anyone listening. On September 15th, we're having a banquet right before the summit, and I'm hosting a table, and I'll get as many tables as people want to. If you want to get here to Portland and hear firsthand about the ministry of what's going on in Pure Desire, I'm telling you, last year, it was phenomenal. It helped people understand, wow, this is bigger than what I thought of what God's doing here. So if you want to be at my table, you call these guys and say, I'm at Rod's table. Rod will get as many tables hosted, and we'll get you here for that event. It's going to be wonderful. September 15th, and then 16th and 17th is the summit. Great speakers. You can log on and do it, too. But if you can get to Portland Troutdale, it's good stuff.

Yeah.

So you can see why Rodney travels around and talks for us.

I'll make sure that we have some registration links in the description in the show notes for the fundraising dinner. Also, if you want to take up Rodney, just email podcasturedesire.org and we'll get you connected to him and a link to Summit as well. I feel like I'll finish with this. The image I keep getting is that we keep inviting people to a table to sit down together, to partake in this meal and be a part of a community. But the table needs to get bigger. And what Team 58 and donations and giving financially can do is help build a bigger table and invite more people in. And so we know that generosity and giving can help us. We know that it absolutely helps other people. But we also want you to consider that if you can't give financially, that telling your story, leading groups and so many other ways are a way to give that healing back to people and just to continue that. You know, John used the word generational. That's how we create that generational health that's going. So, yeah, I mean, you know, the ball is on the. Go ahead, Rodney.

Competent resources. This is one of the reasons I like to give to Pure Desire. They have competent resources to help men and women. I gave 50 bucks to one TV preacher when I was in my 20s because he said his magic prayer would deliver me from my bondage. And it didn't deliver me, but, man, I was all in. I was emotional. I wrote the check. I sent it. What I'm grateful that I found ministries like Pure Desire, competent resources to help us grow holistically and become healthy people that can follow Christ in these ways.

Yeah, well, obviously, listener, you can tell that there's tons of passion from Rodney, tons of passion from John. We appreciate you both what you guys do, and thanks for being with us today.

Thanks.

So much better together.

That's right. And wherever you're at on your journey, Pure Desire is here to help create a roadmap for your healing. If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual brokenness or betrayal trauma, go to PureDesire.org and let's start the healing journey today. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and drop us a review. It helps others find the Path Podcast. Each week we're putting out new content to help you on the road to healing and freedom. And lastly, never stop being healthy.