A multi-speaker YouTube discussion exploring common misunderstandings within Christian communities about mental health (fear, anxiety, depression, and recovery from sexual addiction). Speakers clarify that issues are not solely demonic or solvable by prayer alone, emphasize the interplay of grace and personal effort, the role of family-of-origin and trauma, and the necessity of community and clinical help alongside spiritual practices.
Well, I think you've already hit on a few of these, Dr. Caro, but let's kind of create more specifics around them if we can. What are some of the biggest misconceptions that you feel Christians have about mental health issues like fear, anxiety, and even depression?
Yeah, we have talked about the demonic oppression part, and we can dispense with that. A couple other misconceptions that I see is that I have to try harder to make myself feel better and think better before Jesus will really allow me to be close, that my. That this is my work, that I have to do it now. There are things I must do if I want to be whole, but it's not that I make it happen. And so when people have mental health issues, often their challenge includes, I don't feel able to do much for myself. I don't feel like I have a lot of agency in knowing what my thoughts need to be or in managing my feelings. Some of that comes from the way you grew up. So the impact of family of origin, the impact of trauma. You learned how to manage your feelings before. You learned, before you knew you were learning that. Just like you learned about sexuality and intimacy and relationships and conflict and communication. You learned how to manage your world or not. You learned that if I had a feeling that felt negative, maybe you learned to squelch it, that I deny it, that I ignore it. It's not okay to have a, quote, negative feeling. And so the impact of family of origin and early learning and trauma, how important that is, is often a misconception. And another misconception is that it's pray only. Again, we've kind of alluded to this, but just pray more and you'll be okay. I know one of the things you frequently talk about again is porn. And so it would be like saying, well, just pray more and you won't look at porn. Okay? There's part of working that out that we have to do. It's the same with these other related mental health issues. In recovery, there's a pathway. Don't stop praying. I sometimes hear. I literally hear from people around the world who are struggling with varieties of all these things. And a common message that I get is, I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, and I still keep struggling in this way. Why can't God set me free? I pray as hard as I can. Well, don't stop praying. Absolutely, don't stop praying, but pray. And I think that understanding is part of it. I can't right this minute, remember who said it, but Grace is not opposed to effort. Grace is opposed to earning. I can't earn my wholeness any more than I can earn my salvation to heaven. But there are things I must do. There is effort. I must be engaged. And I think that working together with God for my mental health, as well as all my areas of wholeness is another area that people can get sidetracked. They either feel like, well, I've got to do it all myself, or just pray harder and Jesus, do it. It's working together with. And I think that is especially important in mental health. And one I know that you're going to want to talk about is the role of other people. Another misconception is that I can do this myself. And frankly, I can't. I need you. I must have you on this journey with me.
Yeah, that's so good. And it makes me think of how many of those do relate directly to what we see in recovery from sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors. We fall into those same categories, right? I think we feel like, well, it's either God's work or it's my work. And if I do any effort, then I'm nullifying the work of God. And yet that is completely contrary even to what Scripture teaches us. You know, I think of as you were talking, I was thinking of the book of Nehemiah. And when he got the report of how the condition of the wall was, it says he prayed all night. And then in the morning he got up and he went and talked to the king and he said, can I go back and rebuild the wall? And I think about if Nehemiah had just prayed and prayed a year later, he's like, God, no one has fixed the wall. And I'm praying like God's sitting there going, yeah, and I've put you in the perfect position to go and be a part of this. And when that wall got rebuilt, was that God's work or Nehemiah's? And I think when you read the story, it's so evident the answer is yes. God worked in and through Nehemiah. And Nehemiah did his work in and through the strength that God provided him. And in this journey to wholeness, whether we're talking about mental health or sexual addiction type issues, we need to embrace that reality that this is going to maybe be the hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm not doing it alone. That as I do the work, God is working through me and he's bringing other people in to be a part of that journey also. And that none of that cancels out the other. My work doesn't cancel out God's work, and God's work doesn't cancel out my need to do some hard things. But it's seeing it all as that cooperative process.
Yeah. I really think that what you're saying is such a good reminder, because I think that for us as Christians, we think that, okay, I'm doing these things, I'm reading my Bible and I'm praying, and I'm not getting better. And in fact, I might be getting a little bit worse. And I don't know what else to do. But now I feel like a bad Christian. And so I think that that's one of the things that we get with others, is when we invite people into. Even into our struggle, that we're given an opportunity to learn something different, to learn something that. That maybe our brain can't come up with or that our faith background has said, you can't go to a psychologist because they're from the devil, and so you have to only go to Bible study, you know, and it breaks down some of those errors in thinking, but it really does come from community, from having other people who walk life with us.
Exactly. And this working together with God, which includes you, includes people. It makes me think of Jesus talking to Nicodemus, where he said, you hear the wind, but you can't tell where it comes from or where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit. I've been on a sailboat once, and in the Northwest. It was on the Columbia river, and it was an amazing experience. It was quiet. There was no motor. Myself and the others on the boat were not rowing. We weren't exerting that kind of effort to make the boat go. We were going fast, but we would not have moved an inch if we had not raised the sails to catch the wind. One way, I believe, to think of our role is we raise our sails to catch the wind of the Spirit. We keep putting ourselves in the place where God can do his work, where others can support us, et cetera. And we can talk a little bit more about that. And I Think of Philippians 2, 12, 13. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to do according to his good pleasure. You work and God works. It's working together, which is a paradigm that I think we would do well to talk more about in the church.
