Multi‑speaker discussion (Nick Stumbo upload) comparing two recovery programs: Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior. Speakers describe Compassionate Warrior as a follow‑on to Seven Pillars—more forward‑facing, like physical therapy after a cast—focused on thriving rather than only sobriety. They discuss assessment tools used (Sexual Dependency Inventory and the Sexual Addiction Screening Test), note a clinical score range (6–20), and describe weekly work: two workbooks, weekly tools, flexible group formats emphasizing bringing chapter work to group and a brief check‑in/commitment-to-change routine.
Questions this video answers
The Sexual Dependency Inventory and the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAS).
A score between 6 and 20 is described as within the clinical range.
One of the things I like about the Compassionate Warrior is it. Is it. It hits the ground running. In the intro. It asks really, where you. Where are you right now? Right. Like, the very first question in the introduction is asking about, where are you at? Like, let's start there. And the reality is, though we might be the hero, you know, the main character of our. Of our whole story, we are not the hero of every scene. Yeah, right. And. And starting out, where are you at? Let's just start there. Like, don't try and. And, and like, force yourself into being a hero right now because you might not be the hero right now. Right. And what's the first question of the first chapter? Basically says, like, what are some of the craziest things you've done in your addiction and your addictive behavior? So the very first question of chapter one is, let's be honest. How far from the person that you want to be has your addiction taken you? Let's start with the reality of that and move forward from there. And so just again, I think head factor, but also in just the fashion of the placement of this resource in recovery, is let's just start out with some honest reflection on where you're at and also the reality of where you've been. And let's work forward from there. Because a lot of guys compare themselves in group, right? Like, they're. They're comparing themselves even in compassionate warrior groups. They're like, well, I'm here, but other guys are there. And, and not everybody's at the same place now, right? I mean, people don't start seven pillars at the same place. We use an assessment called the Sexual Dependency Inventory. And, and the SAS, the Sexual Addiction Screening Test, is part of the Seven Pillars. But the scores there, if you score between 6 and 20, you're within the clinical range. Well, a 6 is way different than a 20.
Totally.
Yeah.
Right. And so a lot of guys are like, well, I'm here, but they're there. What's wrong with me? Well, you might be a 16 and they might be an 8. In that clinical range, your journey is different. And so the compassionate Warrior really helps guys to say, where are you right now? Start from there. And so, you know, working through, through that book, there's. There's a lot of. It's kind of like if seven pillars is like, let's just say resetting a broken arm. This is the. The other analogy. Seven pillars is like resetting a broken arm and then putting a cast on it, building some structure. And then by the end of the book, you get the cast taken off, then Compassionate warriors, like is like the, the physical therapy that comes after. Right. Like, and there's a lot of pain and a lot of hard work that goes into Seven Pillars. But the physical therapy part of really going on to, to live a fruitful, thriving life, I feel like that's what Compassionate Warrior does, does really, really well.
Yeah.
And so, you know, it's going to have you walk through difficult, deep, honest work. The same topics that you addressed in Seven Pillars, you're going to address those here. So you're going to address shame and relationship, addiction, identity, all of the stuff really that you were doing in Seven Pillars, but you're going to be doing it in a way that, that isn't just about sobriety and addressing trauma for the first time, but it's about, about thriving. Right. Like you don't just want a broken arm, so it's not broken. You want a broken arm so you can use it and you want to be able to use it to actually do things that lead to a fruitful life. So I feel like Compassionate Warrior takes all the same stuff that you've been doing, but it puts it into even a more forward thinking perspective of thriving. It's like Lazarus coming out of the tomb. Right. Like he came out of the tomb miracle. But then Jesus still has to say, untie him and let him go. Like Jesus didn't raise him from the dead to just stand there in a graveyard. Yeah, right. Raise them from the dead to go and live a thriving life. And I feel like that's what Compassionate Warrior really does. Well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In terms of weekly work too, I'd say there is a workbook. There are weekly tools. So it's a two workbook set like we have in a lot of our groups. And the bulk of the work you'll do together out of the workbook. And then we recommend groups still do a check in time and a commitment to change at the end. But because everybody's been through the seven Pillars, I'm hearing that groups are able to navigate the check in and the commitment to change faster. So it's not so much a 40, 60, 20 plan in terms of minutes, there may be more time spent on the workbook. And the weekly tools isn't just your check in and commitment to change. It also includes some what we'd call emotional growth opportunities, some learning tools, and I've heard groups use it differently. So some groups will implement that as part of the workbook discussion time. And it might be more like a 20, 20, 60, 20 plan.
There you go.
They'll spend some time on the weekly tools lessons there. And then other groups like the one I'm leading, I'm choosing to say to the guys like, hey, I'd rather we spend the bulk of our time in the chapters of the workbook itself, and if we have time, we'll discuss some of the weekly tools. But some weeks, depending on time we got a full group, we may not be able to prioritize that as much. That may be more on your own or with a mentor or a friend. And so I think there's a little bit of flexibility with that. But I'd say in general, you can expect the same approach of using a faster scale and some good questions to do a check in having a game plan by the end of the meeting to say, here's what I'm working on this week, and then spending the bulk of the time coming and processing the work that you've been doing during the week out of the chapters. Because I think that pattern of bringing to group what I'm learning versus just coming to group and talking about a chapter is really fundamental to the effectiveness of groups. And so that kind of component or pattern is really, really similar to what you've seen in Seven Pillars.
And I think that that's to be expected with, you know, Seven Pillars being something that's supposed to help you stop an unwanted behavior, understand why you're doing it, and help you set the trajectory for where you want your life to go. This is going to look a little bit different, and I think that that's an okay expectation.
