Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

Don't Believe This Marriage Myth!

25 Aug 2026 · 1 min

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0:42

In this YouTube monologue, Nick Stumbo debunks the common belief that a higher frequency of sex automatically signals a healthier marriage. He explains that many couples engage in sex out of duty, routine, or societal expectations rather than genuine intimacy, and that using sexual frequency as a metric for marital success is misleading. Stumbo emphasizes that relationships can experience seasons where emotional connection thrives despite less physical intimacy, and conversely, couples may have frequent sex without building a solid relational foundation. The core message is that marriage quality should be assessed on deeper relational factors, not merely on how often partners have sex.

Chapters

some couples do feel like if a relationship has more sex, it's a better relationship, and a relationship with less sex is worse. That we've, we've assumed that like a good relationship will have frequent sex. And maybe that's, you know, like we've talked to a lot of couples that sex was happening more out of duty or routine or obligation. Like it wasn't necessarily creating healthy intimacy. It was more this idea of like, well, we're married, we're supposed to have sex, and, and good, good married couples have lots of sex. And it's like, Well, that's not really what we wanna be basing, is our marriage good or not? Because I think there are seasons you can be doing really well relationally and not having as much physical connection, or other times maybe the physical connection has been frequent, but you're really not building a solid foundation.