Short recorded discussion (YouTube) in which multiple speakers encourage pastors to recognize their limits and refer congregants to qualified counselors or therapists. Speakers advise pastors to assess their own training and capacity, meet and vet local counselors (seeking shared values), and build relationships with reliable partners; Pure Desire Ministries and its online team of clinicians are offered as a specific resource.
What encouragement would you give pastors on referring out to counselors or therapists when they oftentimes feel pressure to be the counselor to their people? This is a real one.
Yeah, I think it just depends on your congregation and the size of your staff and what giftings you have and who's in what role. Some churches have pastoral care areas where people focus on that and they're able to give resources to have that there. I would always start with just look at your education and look at your experience and ask, do I have time and energy to help in whatever area that is? And if not, just find assets in your communities, CSATs or therapists or counselors that would share similar values. I would say, I know for me, I had some that were faith based and some that weren't necessarily faith based, but they were helpful and they were, their values were similar. And so I know for some that may be a little controversial, they would only refer to Christian counselors. And that's okay if that's your theory. But like Christian mechanics and Christian plumbers, you know, I just wanted somebody that knew how to do that well. And so, you know, I just think it's good to know your resources in town, take them out, vet them and don't feel like the pressure that you have to be all things to all people. That's not what Paul's trying to say. So in that regard, as the scripture teaches.
Yeah, that's what came to mind for me. I think a lot of this has to do with our mindset as a pastor. And I've asked the question before that I really had to wrestle with. Am I the pastor because I'm the most spiritual person in the room and that's why they hired me, or am I the pastor because of God's call in my life? And if I realize I have this internal belief that says I'm the pastor because I'm the most spiritual person in the room, otherwise why not give the other person the job? Then I do kind of carry that burden of I've got to have an answer for everything. I've got to be the know all, end all, be all for anything to do with the word of God. And if not, maybe I'm not qualified to be the pastor. And I would just say if, if you realize you're. You're wrestling with that, which for many of the first years as a young pastor, I did that. That is a heavy burden, my friend. And if I could do anything to encourage you to lay that down, do it, because that's not why you're the pastor. God has a call on your life, and that call includes that you have weaknesses, areas where you're not educated or informed. And it's okay to say, I'm called to lead this church, but I've not been called to be the expert on divorce care, sexual addiction, drug and alcohol recovery. And that's why we have found really reliable partners that can help in this area. And I do wonder if sometimes pastors don't refer because they're just not sure who to refer to. And so that could be a great starting point. It would be well worth your time as the pastor to go and meet some of your local counselors and ask about their.
Absolutely.
Ask about their philosophy. Ask about their pattern of care. And I think you might be pleasantly surprised that there are godly professionals in the area of mental health or addiction recovery who are also deeply biblical and don't have the title pastor or might not be from your denomination, but. But could really care and bring some expertise in a way that you couldn't. And so having that confidence to refer, not only because we're comfortable with the idea that I'm not the expert on everything, but also the confidence that I know an expert in this area and in the area of, obviously in sexual addiction and recovery, pure desire could be that expertise in your corner. That's why we're here. That's why we have a team of 20 clinicians that do all of their work online so that people from anywhere can get the help they need. And we'd love to be a part of that process for your church.
Yeah, I think I've. There's. I can't remember where I read it, but there's an element of maturity where you identify and acknowledge your limitations. And I think that that's really important. And I would just say if someone came to me as their pastor and asked me, my car's having issues, what do you think? Like, my limitations are? Is the check engine light on? Okay, cool. Take it somewhere else. Like, I'm not the guy.
Did you put gas in it?
Right.
Yeah.
Did you turn it on? Did you, like, roll it over?
No.
Okay. Um. But, like, for that, if I didn't know my limitations and I rolled my sleeves up and I'm wearing my chino pants and I pull up the hood, I just. I would get a mess, and I would ruin everything that that car has inside of it. But let's just say, spiritually, for some reason, this was important. Someone came to me and says, hey, I'm trying to teach my son, little Billy, how to throw a baseball. Well, it's like, you know what? I have tons of experience. I played for a long time, played through college. I know what I'm talking about. I've even coached. I've got a little bit more knowledge and know how there's. Sure. I can take you outside right now. Let's go work on some things. Or here are some tips. Like those two things are not spiritual. Well, Rodney might argue me that those things are spiritual, but I don't think those things are.
Batting average, that's what I wanted.
I was like, in the.280 range. Wasn't great. That's why I stopped in college. But I think that that just to illustrate, like, if we know our limitations, it actually does the people more good. If I'm willing to admit my limitations and refer them out.
