How Social Media Fuels Porn Use

One of the issues that is, I think contributing in so many ways to this, and I want us to talk about a little bit right now, is the prevalence of social media. And I think particularly for young adults, that to be on multiple platforms multiple times a day is just normal life. And so what are the connections you are seeing, Ben, between social media use and then pornography and mental health challenges?

Well, I'd say that accidental exposure on social media to pornography is higher than it's ever been with X recently, getting rid of all law, laws or regulations of pornography, I would be on X and just scrolling and all of a sudden there was just an image of pornography and I'd have to scroll real fast, pass it, but that's nothing I've ever seen before. I think there's laws cracking down and cracking down and whatnot. But you know, I'm not trying to make a political statement, but in the name of free speech, it's. Some of these scenes have been become more accessible to people under the age of 18 who shouldn't be coming across pornography on social media. And so even if they weren't introduced by friends on the school bus or going over to their friend's house or an older sibling, the amount of people who can be exposed to this at a much younger age is, is so much higher. And then of course, the shame associated with it, both the curiosity and the shame. And when we don't talk about it, when we don't porn proof our kids and help them know not if they see pornography, but when they see pornography, what to do to talk to an adult, to come to their parents to know that they won't be shamed, but that their parents want to protect them from, from the harm of pornography. If they were not having those conversations, then it can so easily lead to an addiction in somebody's life because the draw of it and the dopamine released is, is so high.

Yeah, I think what we're hearing a lot in groups or as I interact with men that are walking in recovery, the way that social media creates or reinforces some of those negative self messages that create our mental health challenges because we can see a world that people present, put their best foot forward more often than not. And their Instagram reel is their last vacation. And it's their ideal images and pictures of themselves. You don't see the 50 images they deleted where they looked funny with their mouth awry. You see this one glamour shot like, man, they look so good and they're on vacations all the time. Their life is so much better than mine. And if comparison or if feeling good enough or feeling wanted, feeling belonging is some of our core struggle, then going on social media has a way of completely reinforcing all the negative side of, yeah, there's something wrong with you, you're not enough, you don't measure up. And then ironically, on that same platform that is causing the mental health challenges and the false core beliefs that I'm tempted to listen to are then the very outlets that I might seek out to look for provocative images or go down these rabbit trails that lead to worse and places where now I'm using that same site to kind of numb out what I'm feeling, that all is being created from going to that same place. So it kind of becomes this unique combination of both the things that trigger my struggle and my problem, and then also the place that triggers the way that I deal with it all gets wrapped into one and I think can become a reason that many in group will initially, their approach is like, I just have to be off completely. And I'm not saying everybody should do that for all time, but I think in early recovery we just see that very often there needs to be a healthy break, a separation from that whole world so that I can kind of figure out what's going on in my mind and my body and have a reset so that at the right time, I can integrate those things into my life in a way that is healthy, that does create connection and doesn't actually contribute to the very mental health problems that I'm trying to address.