How to Overcome The Fear of Sharing Your Story | Pure Desire Ministries

So for the person or people that feel like sharing their story, especially those dark and painful parts, is terrifying, what would you say to that person about how to overcome that fear and why, you know, being able to share your story, especially those difficult parts, are. Is so powerful.

Yeah. So I know for me, the enemy likes to tell lies that you're alone, that, you know, you're isolated. He wants to keep you isolated. And it's really easy to believe the lie that nobody's going to understand. People are going to think of you different, you know, fill in the blank of whatever that, that fear, that narrative is. But for me, I just feel like it's so important to share your story because Jesus spoke in stories like he told parables to teach. Like he. That's. We're wired for stories. You know, when we share our story, we're sharing our testimony and we're sharing about what God has done. And really our story is one of the only things that people can't take away from us. So, you know, we, especially when we share our story to glorify God and in light of the gospel, which is what, which is what I help women do, that's. That's just the easiest and like the simplest way to share who God is and what he's done in your experience through your own life. And I know for me, the, the moment I took that very first step, which was. It is scary because you, you know, you tell yourself these things like, well, what if this and what if that and they think differently. And for me, especially in this situation, like with my husband, what if they think differently of my husband? Then I'm throwing him under the bus, you know, and while I have a story to tell in this, it's also his story. And so how to really, like, navigate what's mine and what's his that for at the end of the day, for me, Jesus is the most important thing, and I want to be able to glorify him in my story. And if somebody is going to abandon me because of who I am or what I've said or what I've been through or the choices I've made, or if somebody is going to think differently, differently of me or my husband or whatever, then maybe they weren't supposed to be there to begin with. God's going to put people in your life and remove them from your life for lots of different reasons. And I know that I'm just called to share who God is and, you know, what Jesus has done in my life and doing that through my story is the. Is the simplest way and really what God's writing on my life.

So I think the reason I know for me in my story and my experience in the church why it's so terrifying to share your story is because it's so against the culture that we're in. Like, people don't share the deep, dark stuff. And I mean, think about that inside the church. That's also amplified outside. You think about who people are on social media, and this presentation of themselves or this version of themselves that they're presenting to the world is not who they really are all the time. And so I think for us, we see this polished version inside and outside the church, which then it's like, well, why would I show the, you know, the unpolished parts of my story? And then when it comes to overcoming that fear, I think one of the easiest ways to find courage is to think about when someone in the past has told their story and how it connected to you. And I don't know, maybe it facilitated self discovery, maybe it facilitated shame, you know, being dropped off. Maybe it made you feel closer to someone in a relationship. Maybe it gave you confidence to share that part of your story. Just thinking about how that person sharing their story unlocks something in you, your story, thinking that I can do that for someone else. I think that that's what I experienced in the group setting, and that's why I love pure desire groups, is because it creates that opportunity every single week for you to share your story. Bits and pieces that help other people make connections in their own.

Yeah, and sometimes sharing our story is terrifying because we've never done it before. And I don't just mean like publicly on a podcast. I mean those parts of our story that we've not shared with anyone, honestly, openly. And that is fearful, that is frightening. And it should be like, it's ok. But just because it's scary doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. And so if. If part of the fright or terror someone's feeling about sharing their story is I've just never really addressed this part of my life, that that first step is who's the safe person, who's the friend, the family member, the counselor, the pastor that I feel confident I can go to, and maybe for the first time, starting to put into words my story, things that happened to me, things I experienced and looking for. How do I start addressing this? Because really, until we start addressing it and until we start finding some comfort with being able to tell Saf, we're not going to Want to share our story. It's when we start to see, wow. In opening up about my story, it's doing something in me. It's doing something for others that becomes powerful. But that first time or that first environment, it's like for many of us that had a pure desire group, some of those first lessons may be on worst moments or secrets or past behaviors. It's like we'll hear someone say, I've never told anyone this before, but there's a deep swallow and they go for it. And the aftermath of people's acceptance and affirmation and encouragement. Encouragement is like, is. Is really life shaping. And so just having that courage to say, I. I think facing and processing my story is worth it. Then we might face the fear we have around telling our story.

Yeah.

And you. You said something. Finding that safe person, you know, that trusted friend that, you know, pastor whoever. I tell women all the time, like, you can be authentic and sharing your story in its entirety and what God has done and kind of walking through that without sharing every single detail that not everybody deserves, you know, a bird's eye view into every. Every detail for life, especially when it comes to, like, marriage. But regardless of what that story is, not everybody deserves that, you know, that lens. But to find a trusted person, to find somebody to be able to kind of appropriately share that. Airing your dirty laundry on social media is not sharing your story, you know, airing. You know, anytime somebody says, how are you doing? It doesn't have to be well. And then, you know, throw down the list.

Totally vomit.

Although that is a good way to get people to stop asking how you're doing. If every time they do, you just unload, like, yeah, yeah, well, I'm not going to nick that conversation down.

Totally.

But yeah, that you can authentically still share and say, well, you know, I'm not great, and there's a lot going on in my marriage. And I just found, you know, like, you can still authentically share daily. And then it's in small groups, you know, seven pillars, betrayal and beyond, or just in any setting. Still authentic without kind of giving the whole mess.

Totally. And we've had episodes on that too, that we've talked about. Not everyone. You don't have to share your story with everyone and why that's important to identify those safe people. But I think there's that fear of, like, oh, well, I'm not being authentic. I am being secretive or I'm isolating by not. And I think there's a difference between isolating and pulling away from community and having wisdom and discernment on is this person capable or competent enough to understand what I'm saying or respond well? And if the answer is no, that doesn't mean that you're keeping a secret. That means that really, you're creating a boundary that's helping you remain healthy, for sure.