Learning Empathy In Marriage
In this reflective video, Nick Stumbo discusses his journey toward developing empathy within his marriage. He recounts how, before and early in his recovery, he responded to his wife's strong emotions by trying to fix them with logic, which left her feeling devalued. Recognizing his discomfort with receiving intense feelings, he adopted practices such as reflection, collective listening, and the AVR (Acknowledge, Validate, Reassure) technique. These tools taught him to slow down, avoid the urge to rationalize, and instead hear, receive, and ask supportive questions like “What could I do to change this?” By staying present in the uncomfortable emotional space and focusing on making his wife feel seen, valued, and heard, Nick found his conversations become more fruitful and his capacity for empathy grew.
